And then you lay out everything that is rubbing you wrong and it's so small and pathetic and god dammit you should be better than this.
You are sweetie. They're just piling up and winning by numbers. *hugs tight* Nothing wrong with that, nothing at all. I'm always ears if you need some to yell into.
Like, I can't even say how much it means to be able to have somewhere I can go where no one has to see how jacked up my face looks from crying and I don't have to put on a good attitude and then have really, really, really awesome people like you care about me even a teeny bit when I know what you're fighting is a billion times bigger and meaner and toothier than the teeny pathetic things that are biting my ankles raw right now that I feel like I get to bitch about. I really appreciate it and I want you to know that the fact that you just offered helps. More than you'll ever know.
My problems are not bigger than yours. Fuck man, my biggest issue right now is bitching about the cold, your mind is trying to eat itself, the silly bastard *snugs*
Yeah, I feel like I just got taken over by like some b-movie alien force that just sucked out my will to do anything that doesn't involve moping or bitching. It's so hard to pull back and remember that this isn't me right now, it's the depression and to not blame myself for not being fun or awesome or even fully-functional. I guess it's going to be one of those one day at a time things for a little while.
Oh, sweetie. I know exactly how you feel, and it's horrible, and I know that nothing I will say will really make it any better, but I love you and you know that even though you feel all this and it's awful, but it'll pass.
Your boy loves you too, and he understands. You know he does.
And you are not fat. You are pretty and wonderful and all this will pass.
Message me if you need to rant. Or just generally. I shall amuse my Ducks. I know I've been sort of absent and rubbish lately, but I'm here if you need me, ducky.
Thanks, Postcord bb, I love you too. Everything's got to throw itself into entropy every once in a while. I'm just waiting it out now. I think the worst bit - that sudden jolt where nothing's right and everything's terrifying - is mostly over. I've still got the hardcore gloomies, but the idea that I'm going to be okay is feeling a little more plausible.
He's great. And I'm glad we're together because I feel like a lot of other people would be offended by the great big need for space I get sometimes or think that it's somehow their fault when all I can do is act like a human faucet for hours on end.
I've been like on in flickers, so maybe we'll catch each other on IM. But don't worry about being absentee, because I've been pretty bad myself. Which kind of confirms my theory that I only write well when I really should be doing something else entirely.
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And then you lay out everything that is rubbing you wrong and it's so small and pathetic and god dammit you should be better than this.
You are sweetie. They're just piling up and winning by numbers. *hugs tight* Nothing wrong with that, nothing at all. I'm always ears if you need some to yell into.
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Like, I can't even say how much it means to be able to have somewhere I can go where no one has to see how jacked up my face looks from crying and I don't have to put on a good attitude and then have really, really, really awesome people like you care about me even a teeny bit when I know what you're fighting is a billion times bigger and meaner and toothier than the teeny pathetic things that are biting my ankles raw right now that I feel like I get to bitch about. I really appreciate it and I want you to know that the fact that you just offered helps. More than you'll ever know.
God, I sound like such an utter tit right now.
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Thanks a million, bb.
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Your boy loves you too, and he understands. You know he does.
And you are not fat. You are pretty and wonderful and all this will pass.
Message me if you need to rant. Or just generally. I shall amuse my Ducks. I know I've been sort of absent and rubbish lately, but I'm here if you need me, ducky.
Reply
He's great. And I'm glad we're together because I feel like a lot of other people would be offended by the great big need for space I get sometimes or think that it's somehow their fault when all I can do is act like a human faucet for hours on end.
I've been like on in flickers, so maybe we'll catch each other on IM. But don't worry about being absentee, because I've been pretty bad myself. Which kind of confirms my theory that I only write well when I really should be doing something else entirely.
Reply
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