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I Just Remembered
I have to wait for my turn, no clue whenever that pops up. I need to heal before I even try to get up again. Why do I insist on avoiding the whole deal, pretending I don't care at all. That my emotions weren't used and spat back at me. Its okay. It happened and I have to whole heartedly accept it. Our hearts are only big enough for one person. I'm ( Read more... ) -
Denial Isn't Healthy.
For the first time I regret having been so shallow this all this time. Maybe I would have been happier if I wasn't like this. Love becomes a lost cause. -
Blah Blah Blah
Finally dyed my hair, its barely visible but oh well. I don't know why but lately I've been having mad urges. I don't even pause to think them through, just take advantage of the adrenaline and go along with it. Yes, I know its's wrong. But, it helps me cope with whatever it is I'm still struggling with. Lately, its gotten to the point where its ( Read more... ) -
Prettyman Courthouse
Bare feet shuffling. Changing my mind on the elevator too many times. Enough so that the hotel receptionist knew the plaid squares of my pajamas. It was the night, where everything would be game to interpretation. We all struggle to find out what makes sense, and I guess the first step is knowing what you want much less who you are. Because every ( Read more... ) -
Cherry Blossoms Blooming
God please stop, just please make it stop. I can't take it, my mind is not stable. Even a gentle push may send me reeling into the depths of depression that I thought I escaped from. Anything and everything to do with him. Another dream with him, I couldn't help myself. I miss him so terribly, and its not so easy to sa...
There is a strange ( Read more... ) -
As the Days Get Longer and Longer
Everyday seemed like a call in sick morning. Struggling to throw the covers off of the bed, to even get dressed. I couldn't seem to find a muse, any motivation at all. I didn't even want to come back to this place, it just made everything all the more depressing ( Read more... ) -
Falling Down the Stairs
Theres always a moment when you run out of things to say, run out of excuses, run out of distractions. And its those moments when you can finally just sit down for once and look at thing from a wider scope of view. Perhaps my discontent and bitterness towards this era springs from my childhood. Moreover, a childhood experience that I believe many ( Read more... ) -
Dear Jon
"A lot can happen in twelve months Jon, but for tonight you're with me." This feeling of anxiety, overpowering thoughts fill my brain. But I can't run away from it like everything else, I can't run away from myself and these incessant questions I'm left pondering. I was foolish to think that I could win this neverending struggle, that I could drop ( Read more... ) -
Catching Up(:
"I’m not much of a speaker, but then again I’m not much of anything. These humble words that I string together, may not mean much anything." The beginning of a pathetic attempt to create a powerful, motivating speech, which I lacked enough motivation to complete myself. It feels like I haven't been on here for way too long, correct me if I'm wrong. ( Read more... ) -
Bucket List (100 Things)
I'm lame enough to not have ever made one so here it goes ( Read more... )