I Need Help

[dis_mount]

I need help with a very serious issue; a friend of mine emailed me a few minutes ago asking for my advice, and I had very little to give her. The letter concerned a friend of hers, someone I've never met but who is in desperate need of help. This is an excerpt from my friend's email:

I have a friend who is not doing well. She's always had some

Comments

[lettered]

Honey, it sounds like your friend's friend needs serious help, and not necessarily the kind of help any one of you or your friends is able to give.

The things your friend is talking about (weight loss, drug use, and self-mutilation) are symptoms of depression, and often signs of suicidal thought. The best thing to do as a friend is such situations is really to just be there and listen, but if she's in danger of seriously injuring/killing herself, I suggest you or your friend take more drastic measures.

I really highly recommend calling a suicide hotline (there's always 1-800-SUICIDE) or checking out help web sites (befrienders.org is one with links to plenty of other sites and with lists of lots of help hotlines, for suicide, self-mutilation, etc). If this person is under 18, I would consider going to this person's adult support system. If her parents are definitely out of the question, I'd call her school. If the family situation is really, really bad, I'd call CPS

[dis_mount]

First of all: thank you so much for replying so quickly and with such sound advice. I've emailed your letter to my friend, and I think it'll help. I especially appreciate the hotline advice, as I didn't know about it. Thank you thank you thank you.

Sorry to drag you into this, but you're reacted wonderfully and I'm very grateful.

Peace,
Dismount

[lettered]

It's better to drag someone in than let someone suffer. That said, no need to be sorry--I think you're a great person for trying to figure out how to get someone help. I'll be sending you and her my well wishes.

[allegraconbrio]

I have been in a not quite the same, but a serious situation with a friend. And sometimes the most difficult and best thing that a friend can do is to insist on taking that friend to a professional. I literally held my friend's hand until he walked into the doctor's consulting room. I was scared enough to lose his friendship in order to make sure he got better help than I could offer

[dis_mount]

Thank you so much for responding so quickly and with such helpful advice. I've emailed your letter to my friend, and I think it'll help. Your advice is pretty much the same as I've already given her, only better worded; I'm really grateful.

I sincerely appreciate your words of kindness and aid. Thank you so much.

Sorry to drag you into this.

Love,
Dismount

[allegraconbrio]

You didn't drag me into anything, so no worries there. I had another thought when thinking about this, it is important to not be accusatory. I would advise her to concentrate on how her friends' behaviour is worrying her and concerning her. No judgement, just concern - kind of obvious, as your friend is showing a lot of concern by asking for your advice.

*hugs you* I will be thinking of you and your friend and her friend and hoping for the best. Your instincts are right on target, imo.

xoxo

[kita0610]

I agree with the above. This isn't the kind of thing a friend can fix. This girl needs professional help, and she needs it now, before she kills herself- either accidentally or on purpose. Someone needs to contact a teacher, counselor, doctor, priest, anyone in a position of authority, who can get her to the help she needs. She is in serious trouble, and there is nothing else that is going to make this better. You're in my thoughts.

[dis_mount]

Thank you so much for responding with such good advice. I really appreciate your words and have emailed them to my friend. Thanks.

Peace,
Dismount

[vengeanceangel]

It sounds like you got great advice for your friend's friend. I totally agree that this person needs to get professional help. Your friend just can't provide the care she needs right now