Anywhere that I'm with you | Spencer/Haley/Brendon | NC-17 |
Anywhere that I'm with you
Spencer/Haley/Brendon | NC-17 | ~ 8500 words
"No," Spencer says. "I mean. Okay. So, Haley was thinking, right. Umm. That--"
Brendon tilts his head to the side. "That?"
This is for and because of elfiepike, who said she wanted more spencer/haley/brendon stories. And then, she was an incredibly fabulous beta/input-giver! There aren't enough <3's in the world for how much I love her! Thank you, elfiepike!!! One down, 4 999 999 to go. :D
Title and cut tag comes from "Anywhere under the moon" by Dala.
~~~
Five:
It's probably not an unusually hot summer, but Brendon's spent the last year in air-conditioned hotel rooms, the last few months in a cabin in the mountains, and it certainly feels unusually hot.
He's sitting on the steps leading out of the shallow end of the pool, on the bottom floor of Ryan's apartment complex. He needs to find his own place.
Ryan swims laps.
Spencer sits on the ledge of the pool, just off to the side of Brendon. He's still fully dressed, holding his phone in his hands. He tucks the phone into his pocket and rolls up the bottoms of his jeans in neat little folds.
Brendon looks away from the sharp curve of his ankle bone.
"Haley's going to come stay in Vegas at the end of June," Spencer says. He's managed to get a place of his own, though Brendon still isn't sure what 'stay in Vegas' would mean, because Spencer mostly seems to still be living at home.
"Cool," Brendon says.
Spencer wanders to the deep end of the pool to catch Ryan. It almost seems like he's asking permission, which is dumb because it's not like they're living on a tour bus anymore. It's not like anyone else should have a say in the matter. Except that they went to Spencer's mom's house for lunch and now they're hanging out at Ryan's, and this evening they're going to go pick Jon up at the airport, and sometime they should probably actually started writing the new songs, if they really are going to just trash everything they wrote at the cabin. So, yeah. Maybe it makes sense for Spencer to let them know what's going on.
It's still not the same as them having a say though.
--
They pick up Jon at baggage claim, and Jon picks up Dylan, locked in a little carrying case. Dylan's a silent lump in the plastic carton.
Brendon stares at the animal. He doesn't want to alarm Jon, because Jon doesn't seem to have noticed yet, but the airport seems to have killed his cat.
Jon sets the cage down on the bench while Ryan goes off to use the bathroom. Brendon sits down beside it, and as stealthily as he can, he sticks one of his fingers through the metal bars and pokes at the pile of fur.
Dylan doesn't move.
Brendon pokes again.
"Why're you poking my cat?" Jon asks.
Brendon pulls his hand away quickly. "Don't-- Don't panic," Brendon says. "But, um. I just. I think Dylan's dead," he says in a rush.
Jon snorts loudly and Brendon makes an appalled face.
"I gave him a tranquilizer," Jon says. "For traveling."
"Oh. Never mind then."
--
Brendon goes out to buy a sandwich on a Thursday afternoon and comes back the new owner of a condo.
When he tells his parents, his mom says that he can take the old set of plates and cups with him. His dad says that since they were planning on buying a new couch anyways, he can have the one in the family room.
It never occurs to Brendon to tell them that he can really afford to buy all of this for himself. Brendon also never thinks to mention how he could have used this stuff more in his first apartment, but they hadn't offered him anything then.
Instead, he says thank you, and asks if he can also take the old armchair that he stole from the living room and moved into his bedroom.
They say yes.
~~~
one:
Haley graduates, and Spencer flies in for her prom. They both fly back to the cabin, afterwards. They show up a day sooner than expected, so Ryan and Jon have to go into town to buy groceries.
Brendon would have gone, too. He's the only one with a sister, so he's the only one who'd know how to shop to feed a girl anyway, but Ryan and Jon just walked to the car, and Brendon's stuck at home to greet Spencer.
"They do know that girls eat the same food as everyone else?" Haley asks him. They're sitting on the deck: Haley lying across Spencer's chest on the long wooden bench, Brendon on a chair with his arms wrapped around his calves and his chin resting on his knees.
Brendon laughs.
He's not so sure about that though. It's been just them in the cabin for a long time, and he's pretty sure girls think that meals consist more than nachos and sometimes canned beans.
Spencer kisses the top of her head.
--
Having Haley at the cabin is different than when Keltie comes to visit. Keltie's older, and she's used to traveling. When she comes, they all make an effort not to go more than three days without showering, and Ryan sometimes even wears jeans instead of sweatpants. But for the most part, it's pretty comfortable.
Haley's young and used to eating three meals at the same time every day and to sleeping in the same bed every night, and they're all on their best behaviour.
Spencer seems to know it too. He does the dishes every single night without complaint.
--
Haley likes hiking.
When Brendon's sent out of the cabin (to, "Work of some of your energy," Ryan says, holding his broken tennis racket and glaring at Brendon), Haley offers to join him.
Brendon looks over at Spencer.
"Don't let the bears eat her," Spencer tells him solemnly.
"Where do you want to go?" Brendon says, standing outside and waiting for her to finish lacing up her shoes.
She laughs, softly. "I don't know this area at all," she reminds him. "We can go wherever you want."
Brendon ends up leading her to one of the lower summits. She oohs and awws appropriately and asks him where they're going to go next.
Brendon is impressed in spite of himself.
They ends up walking all the way up to the where the stream starts, way up at the top of one of the peaks, and only make it back to the cabin before dark by the skin of their teeth. Haley's talkative, but not giggly, and she and Brendon manage to get mildly lost on the way up, chasing a squirrel off the path.
--
Brendon wanders into the kitchen in the early evening and finds Spencer folding up the empty cereal boxes that have been accumulating in the corner. He throws the plastic bag away and flattens the cardboard.
"Someone can take this in for recycling the next time they go into town," Spencer says when Brendon steps over the pile on his journey to the fridge.
"Good idea," Brendon says. He grabs the orange juice out of the fridge, and even pours it into a glass instead of just drinking out of the carton. After he's rinsed out the glass, Spencer turns to face him.
"Brendon," he says, and then pauses.
There's a long moment of silence. Spencer's gaze darts around the room, looking everywhere but at Brendon.
“Is something up?” Brendon finally asks.
"No," Spencer says. "I mean. Okay. So, Haley was thinking, right. Umm. That--"
Brendon tilts his head to the side. "That?"
"Well, maybe. If you wanted to. I mean, if you didn't mind. I mean, if you wanted to. That." Spencer clears his throat. He looks at the ground. "You know?"
Brendon doesn't know. "That what?"
"That you could, maybe. You know. With us." Spencer still hasn't looked up.
Brendon heart stops beating for a long stretch.
"Well, more with her," Spencer says. "Like. With us, but it'd be with her, right?"
Brendon attempts to swallow. "Oh," he manages to croak out.
"So?" Spencer says, looking up at Brendon for the first time.
~~~
Six:
A pipe under Brendon's sink explodes while he's out seeing a movie with Jon.
When he gets back home, the entire place is flooded, four inches deep. He knows this because when he opens the front door and water spills from inside his place into the hallway, his shoes get completely soaked.
"Uh oh," Jon says.
--
The floors have to be completely redone.
Theoretically, most of his furniture should be replaced as well, but Brendon just can't bring himself to care that the wood on his kitchen table's legs is warped and discolored.
--
"Three weeks," Brendon says when the four of them go out for lunch. "And that was only because I bribed the guy at the counter with an autograph for his daughter."
Everyone grimaces.
"And I'm not allowed to live there in the meantime. Something about mold issues."
"Where are you going to stay?" Jon asks.
Brendon shrugs. The thing of it is that he's got a couple of friends who have their own places, and he could probably mooch off them, maybe. But he hasn't really been in contact with them since. It's been a while. And besides them, most of his friends still live at home.
Jon's been staying with people he knows (Brendon still hasn't figured out how Jon has more friends in Vegas than he does), in and out of houses, like he hadn't gotten enough of it while they were on the road.
"You can have my couch," Ryan says. Ryan's condo has a spare bedroom, but Ryan decided to turn it into an art studio. "Unless-- Jon, you've still got a place to stay right? Were you planning on crashing with me?"
"Eh," Jon says. "I hadn't really thought that far ahead."
"Just stay with me," Spencer says.
"Who?" Brendon asks.
"Either of you. Both of you. I've got three bedrooms."
"I thought Haley was staying with you," Brendon says.
"She doesn't sleep in a different bedroom," Spencer says slowly, and Jon laughs loudly, elbowing Brendon.
"I know," Brendon snipes. "I just meant. That. She's staying with you. And."
"It's fine," Spencer says. "Seriously."
--
It isn't fine, because Brendon's sitting at the island in Spencer kitchen, watching Haley feed Spencer macaroni as they make dinner together and, "Hot, hot, hot," Haley says, trying to blow on the noodle she's holding. Spencer takes it from her and sucks on her fingers.
"Do you eat cheese?" Haley asks Brendon. "Can we put some in the sauce?"
Spencer snorts. "He's barely even a practicing vegetarian," Spencer says, pulling a block of cheddar out of the fridge. "No way he could manage to be a vegan."
Brendon picks at the cuticle on his thumbnail until it starts to bleed and Haley makes him stop.
~~~
Two:
Brendon feels almost sick to his stomach when he knocks on Spencer's bedroom door. He stands for about four and a half seconds and is just about ready to turn back and flee, when Spencer opens the door.
"How's it going?" Spencer asks automatically, and the normalcy of it almost makes Brendon laugh out loud. Spencer wrinkles his nose in something like an apology and doesn't press for Brendon to answer.
Haley's in the bed, sitting on top of the covers. Brendon gives her a little wave. His hands are shaking.
If they ask him if he's sure, if they give him an out, he's going to take it. If they give him a chance to go, if they laugh it off, if they laugh him out. Anything. And he'd be grateful for it.
His cock's hard in his jeans and he's not sure if he's still supposed to hide that, or if now that's the kind of thing that they can know about. He tugs his t-shirt down a little bit.
Spencer climbs up on the bed next to Haley. They kiss, slow and wet, and Brendon can hear them, the slick noises of their mouths coming together. Spencer runs his hands under Haley's shirt, stroking over her lower back, before catching the shirt and pulling it over her head. Brendon watches the movement of Spencer's arms and he doesn't notice that Spencer's taken off her bra until it's in Spencer's hand and being dropped onto the floor.
Spencer moves down on the bed and Haley arches off the mattress as Spencer slides off her jeans. They look good together, which Brendon already knew, somewhere in his head, even though he's always tried not to think about it. They look good together, and for a minute Brendon feels a cold wash of relief because he must have misunderstood. He's really only here to watch.
He can do that. He can stand here and then walk away, knowing what Spencer looks like this, and maybe it will make it worse, harder, to face Spencer in the morning, but Brendon's had to face him every day for years now knowing what Spencer looks like drumming, and maybe it's harder, but Brendon wouldn't have it any other way.
Brendon adjusts his stance a little, letting one hip push forward. He crosses his arms over his chest. He doesn't understand why they want him here, doesn't understand how Haley could possibly want someone else when she's got Spencer. But maybe it's one of those things that all couples do after they've been dating for a couple of years: get a friend to watch them while they have sex. Brendon wouldn't know; he's never dated anyone longer than a short handful of months.
Spencer's feet are bare, and Brendon watches the way that they twist against the sheets as he holds himself up, Haley's bare calves resting on the bed beside him. It seems like a safe place to watch. Brendon's pretty sure that Haley's naked now, but he's scared to check.
He's staring hard at their feet, so it takes him a minute to realize that they are both looking at him, that they've stopped what they were doing. Brendon finally glances towards the head of the bed, guiltily, even though he hasn't been doing anything wrong.
"Are you coming?" Haley asks.
Oh.
Brendon takes a first trip-step forward.
"You're probably going to have to get naked," Haley reminds him. Her smile isn't unkind, but Brendon would rather strip down on-stage in front of an arena full of fans than do it here, while Spencer and Haley watch.
He pulls off his shirt and fumbles with his belt buckle. There's movement on the bed, but Brendon doesn't look up. The temperature of the room feels cold, and Brendon mostly would just like to crawl under the comforters, but Haley's lying on the bed, and that's not an option. Brendon crawls up on the bed beside her. He doesn't know if it's better or worse to have Spencer actually on the bed too. The comforter is a dusty blue color, Haley's thigh a pale tan, and Brendon still doesn't know where he's allowed to look.
Brendon can't read the look on his face when Spencer passes over a condom, still in the wrapper, but he doesn't care to look harder, anyway. He holds it in his hand for a minute before finally, finally looking up to Haley's eyes. She nods encouragingly. He tears the foil.
Fucking Spencer's girlfriend isn't weirder than playing for Pete Wentz in Spencer's grandmother's garage. Brendon's not sure why that's what pops into his head, except that this is a kind of performance too. He pushes inside of her slowly. Probably more carefully than he really has to be, given that he knows that he's not more than she'd used to. He pushes all the way inside and fights the urge to look up at Spencer and see if it's all right for him to move now.
Spencer hasn't said anything since Brendon has entered the room. Even now, all he says is, "Can you-- Just up a bit?" but still Brendon's cock jerks. He moves and Spencer gets a hand between him and Haley, and Brendon doesn't come just like that, but it's a close thing. Spencer moves his hand between them, and Haley's making noise now, just barely. There's a soft edge to her exhales.
Brendon manages something like a rhythm, manages to thrust in without pushing into Spencer's hand. Spencer's hand which is right there, right above Brendon's cock, and Brendon counts the flowers on the pillow under Haley's head and breathes silently through his nose.
Somewhere in there, Haley comes. Brendon only really knows this because her head twists on the pillow, spilling her hair across the flower pattern.
Brendon freezes. He doesn't know what he's supposed to do now. If he should stop, should pull out, should just keep going. He can't bring himself to look anyone in the eye, but he lets his eyes snap down. Spencer's hand is still on Haley, rubbing slowly. Brendon pushes in, a couple times. Still, Spencer's hand doesn't pull away.
Brendon stops moving and stares down between them, watching Spencer's hand move, fingers working in quick circles, the flex of his forearm as he reaches. Brendon watches and Spencer brings Haley off again. She's louder this time, now that her voice has gone a bit raw. Spencer moves his hand away after that, finally, and now Brendon's watching Haley's hands, as she twists her upper body and stretches to Spencer. Spencer's still dressed, all the way. Haley pushes his shirt away, pulls his cock out of his pants, lets him push into her fist, and Brendon comes, sudden and silent, at the sight.
Brendon pulls out quickly, moving away. He tugs hard until the condom snaps off and throws it in the waste basket beside the bed, forgetting to tie it first. He walks to his pile of clothes, tugs on his jeans, his t-shirt. Doesn't even try to fight with his belt.
Spencer and Haley are kissing now, but Spencer's making little noises, rocking slowly upwards, and Brendon just can't.
He closes the door quietly behind himself.
~~~
Seven:
Brendon rents the second season of Family Guy and watches through the first three discs in one sitting. He lies in his bed, with his laptop on his stomach, until he laughs so hard that it almost falls on the floor. After that, he puts the laptop on his bed, and he lies on his stomach.
Somewhere else in the house, Spencer and Haley make lunch, go out shopping, come home, leave for dinner. Brendon can hear them moving around, hear them leaving.
--
It's three in the morning and Brendon's playing Guitar Hero. He's got it on so quietly that he has to stand right in front of the TV to make out the music and he doesn't hear it until Spencer's right beside him.
Spencer just unwraps the cord from the second guitar, waits until Brendon's song finishes and the game saves to restart the machine.
They're still playing when Haley wakes up. She wanders in the room, and Brendon doesn't know if she's still wearing her pajamas because he doesn't look away from the screen.
"You can turn it up now," she tells them, "and move away from the TV, before you both go blind."
"Too late for Brendon," Spencer says.
Brendon tilts the guitar and activates his star power.
--
Brendon falls asleep on the couch, watching Spencer play. When he wakes up many hours later, Haley's sitting over him, and Spencer's gone.
She presses her hand flat across his chest.
"Hey," she says.
"Hi," Brendon croaks. Without his glasses, her face is blurry, even this close. He can tell that she's smiling.
"When you wake up, you should come to Spencer's room," she says. Then, she pecks him on the lips and walks away.
--
Brendon paces around in the living room for a good half hour, but in the end, he goes.
By the time he gets to Spencer's room, they've already started. The door has been left open; Brendon just walks in. It's late afternoon, so even though the blinds are drawn, and the lights are off, Brendon can still see them clearly. Can see the stretch and flex of Spencer's back as he leans over her, working his hips quickly.
Spencer fucks Haley while Brendon shuts the door, even though there's no reason to, and takes his clothes off. Brendon perches of the edge of the bed, sitting gingerly so the mattress doesn't dip under his weight. They're closer to one edge of the bed; Brendon sits on the other side. He turns sideways, one leg tucked under himself and watches as Haley comes, shuddering, just from Spencer's cock. Brendon's never been able to get her to do that.
Spencer pulls out after that. He hasn't come yet, Brendon doesn't think, because he's still hard.
The bedside table is on the same side of the bed as Brendon, but Brendon really doesn't want to reach for a condom. Not after seeing what it's like for her with Spencer. He waits until Spencer settles, then pulls himself all the way onto the bed, pulls himself over to her, and settles on his elbows in between her thighs.
She's so wet when he licks into her, twisting his tongue inside as far as it will go. She tastes almost sweet, against the sharp taste of the lube from the condom. The lube from when Spencer was fucking her. Spencer fucked her, and now Brendon's licking inside, and there's just the taste of latex, but still it's enough to make Brendon's head swim.
He pulls his tongue away reluctantly, sweeping over her clit. She touches his head gently, and Brendon makes a soft noise when her fingers pet across his hair. Her clit is flushed and full and he sucks gently, until her fingers tighten and her hips jump up off the bed. He keeps on licking, through her shudders, past when she stops. She moves restlessly beneath him, hips shifting against his mouth, back and away when it's too much. He makes his tongue slick and gentle, coaxes until when she moves, she's moving towards him. He slips two fingers inside and pulses slowly, touches over the same places Spencer's cock touched, and brings her off again.
He can feel her leg shaking where it's pressed to his side, and the bed is soaking wet underneath them. He scoots backwards. Haley rolls away from the wet spot and falls asleep.
Brendon stares at her for a minute, watches as she curls into herself, tucking her fist under her chin, until there's a movement on the other side of the bed drawing his attention back to Spencer for the first time.
Spencer's naked and still hard, and now it's just the two of them. Brendon looks up from where he's crouched, and Spencer looks back. Brendon's mouth and chin are still wet. He looks up and Spencer's looking at him for once, actually looking at him. Brendon can't stop himself. He shuffles over the thirtysome inches between them and swallows Spencer's cock.
Spencer's silent and still and unresponsive, but he's hard in Brendon's mouth and Brendon gasps in air before taking him all the way down. Spencer makes a noise then, low in his throat. Brendon shuts his eyes tight.
There must be a spring right under Brendon's knee, because each time he shifts his weight, the bed squeaks. It's the loudest sound in the room, louder than Haley's deep breaths and Spencer's stilted exhalations. Spencer's hands are resting on the bed, fingers splayed, and Brendon wants to twist his fingers into Spencer's. He wants Spencer's to twist into his hair. He twists his tongue over the head of Spencer's cock and licks until his tongue feels thick and salty.
Spencer isn't moving; his hips are still in the sheet. He just lies there and when he comes, he doesn't make a sound, no warning or anything, but he comes and Brendon swallows.
Brendon swallows and lets Spencer cock slip out of his mouth and he takes a deep ragged breath. He licks his lips and wishes that Spencer was more demonstrative so that he could have dragged it out for longer. He's still close to Spencer, can still smell Spencer. Brendon takes a breath and then moves away quickly. He gets his boxers on, and is halfway out the door before he's even got his pants done up.
Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Spencer rolling across the bed and curling around Haley.
~~~
Three:
Spencer corners him the next day.
Jon's on the phone, and Ryan's taking Hobo for a walk, but still Brendon looks around guiltily when Spencer leans in.
Spencer looks calm, and his eyes are twinkling a little bit, but still Brendon flinches when Spencer says, "You're going to hurt Haley's feelings. She thinks you don't like her."
"No," Brendon says. "I do. I mean, not that I--"
Spencer must take pity on him, because he grins. "So come again tonight. She's going to be leaving in a couple of days."
Brendon nods, then slumps against the wall when Spencer walks away.
"No," he says out loud. Apparently his mouth can still form the words. Just not when it counts.
--
He probably would have found some way to get out of it except that they corner him when he's walking out of the bathroom. Haley's in a long t-shirt that probably once belonged to Spencer and her legs are bare. The cabin's got an erratic heating system, but it keeps the place warm at night. She threads her arm through his and Spencer follows behind, and neither of them say anything, so it's not like Brendon has the chance to say no anyways.
Haley leads him to the bed and helps him take his clothes off. She gestures for him to lie down, then shimmies out of her clothes while he watches. She holds herself up on one elbow and sucks on his cock while Spencer fucks her from behind. Brendon feels more exposed this time, feels embarrassed, because again it's Spencer making her moan. He's so uncomfortable that despite being strangely turned on, he doesn't know if he's going to be able to come. Haley's mouth is soft and wet and lovely, and Brendon tries to focus on that, but Spencer's fucking her hard, and he's sweating, rising up on his knees as he thrusts in deep. Brendon feels so turned on watching him that it goes right passed aroused and into ashamed.
Spencer fucks her until he comes, and then he slips his fingers inside. Brendon can't really see, but Haley's making little noises around his cock and pushing backwards. Spencer has nice fingers.
Haley's lifts her head up and, "Can I?" she asks, looking up at Brendon.
He's not sure what she's asking for, but he nods quickly.
She reaches into the blankets and manages to pull out a condom, which she rolls onto him. Brendon feels like he's not entirely in his own body when she sinks down on top of him. Somewhere in his lower belly, he can feel the slow tug of orgasm, but it's far away. Haley's hair is swishing around her shoulders as she moves. He watches the way her hips roll, what it does to the swell of her belly, and then Spencer's reaching around and pressing his fingers to her clit, so Brendon watches that.
Spencer rises up behind her, pushing up on his knees and kissing along her shoulder. She turns her head to the side and Brendon watches as the tip of Spencer's tongue traces the shell of her ear. His hand is still working over her. She's not moving much, just clenching around him, and maybe it's enough but Brendon still feels like he's watching from far away.
Spencer shifts and says, loud enough that they can both hear, "Sit up, so Brendon can move," and pulls at her thigh with his free hand. Haley rises up further on her knees, and Brendon grips the sheets hard as he snaps his hips up. He sweats with the effort. The sound of their bodies coming together is loud and sharp, but it's hardly any time at all before Haley's whimpering sweetly, arching back against Spencer as she keens, and then slumping forward on to Brendon's chest.
Brendon reaches up and pushes her hair away from her face. She blinks up at him slowly and says, "Come on," grinding back against him. Brendon's surprised when he comes, minutes later, just from the friction between their bodies, as Spencer rubs over Haley's thigh and catches the skin of Brendon's stomach with the tips of his fingers on each downstroke.
He doesn't make a sound when he comes, so it takes Haley a minute to sit up and move off him. Brendon rolls out from under her when she starts to lift off and he sits at the edge of the bed, pulling the condom of himself. He leans over and picks his boxers up off the floor, tugging them over his feet and up his calves before hopping off the bed and pulling them all the way on. He wouldn't bother putting his pants back on, but he still has to walk back to his own bedroom and he's worried he might run into Ryan or Jon.
"Night," he says before he slips out the door.
--
When get back back to his own room, his Sidekick buzzes.
U didn't have to leave, from Spencer. Well, from Spencer's cell. Brendon's pretty sure that the message is from Haley.
He turns his phone off completely and goes to bed still wearing all of his clothes.
--
The next day, he breaks three strings on his guitar and Ryan breaks one of his own.
"Maybe we should stop for now," Jon says. "Bass strings are really expensive."
"I've still got lots of drumsticks," Spencer says.
"You two keep going," Ryan says to Brendon and Spencer. "Use the piano. I'll do mine and Jon'll restring your guitar for you."
And then it's just him and Spencer.
Brendon sits down at the piano bench and cracks his knuckles.
Spencer counts them in.
There's an easy balance between them, between the melody and the rhythm and Brendon's voice and Spencer's movement and Brendon just lets go and plays.
~~~
Eight:
Brendon brushes his teeth, then goes back to his own room and lies awake until he manages to bore himself into slumber by reciting all the passages of the Book of Mormon that he can still remember word for word.
Brendon's car is still in the underground parking lot for his building. He wakes up at 4:30 AM, 5:15 AM, 6:03 AM and decides that he needs to bring it over to Spencer's. Spencer and Haley are still asleep, should still be asleep, so Brendon leaves a note on the kitchen table, Be back soon, -Bden, and leaves on foot.
--
He's only been to Spencer's house a small handful of times before this recent stretch as a house guest. He's only had his own place for a couple handfuls of weeks. He's pretty sure that cutting through the park is going to be a short cut, but he comes out the other side and loses sight of the main road that he usually takes when he drives. He ends up taking side streets, one up and then one across, trying to find it again, but he can't. After 3 hours and 15 minutes of walking, he ends up at a mall he recognizes, completely in the opposite direction from his house.
He goes inside and tries to find a bus schedule at the info booth, but they're all out. His feet aren't sore exactly, his sneakers are more comfortable than the kind of boots he wears when he performs, but his nervous energy is gone now, and mostly he just wants a nap.
He walks through the mall until he finds a vendor selling sunglasses and buys the biggest pair that he can find. He knows, knows somewhere logical, that he's more conspicuous wandering around indoors wearing shades, but he can't help the easy rush of relief he gets when he puts them on.
The mall is mostly full of elderly people walking slowly up and down the hallways. Brendon ducks into a bookstore when he sees a group of preteens walking towards him and reads through a collection of Far Side comics until he starts getting dirty looks from the staff.
There's a juice bar just off the side of the food court and Brendon orders a strawberry and cranberry smoothie.
He calls Spencer for a ride.
Spencer says, "Only you could get lost walking to your own house and still manage to find a place to get smoothies."
"I'll just call Ryan," Brendon says after a pause.
"Don't be a dickwad," Spencer says. "I'll be right there."
--
Spencer shows up in about eighteen minutes, during which time four people ask if they can bum a smoke off Brendon, and no one asks for an autograph. He looks like the kind of guy who has cigarettes? Really?
Spencer pulls into the loading zone and Brendon slumps into the passenger seat.
"To your place, right?" Spencer asks.
"If that's okay," Brendon says gratefully. Something had definitely gone wrong along the course of the morning, because if Brendon had wanted to be trapped inside an enclosed space with Spencer, he would have just stayed at Spencer's house.
Spencer turns up the music even louder and taps out a complex beat on the steering wheel while he waits at the red light.
They pull into Brendon's complex and Brendon's out of the door almost before Spencer's come to a complete stop. He turns to say a quick thanks for the ride before bolting away, but to his surprise, Spencer has pulled the car into park and is unbuckling his seatbelt.
He clicks the key chain to lock the car and follows Brendon into his building.
"We probably should have been coming more often to check the mail," Spencer comments, as Brendon turns his key into the lock and pulls open the tiny door. His mailbox is packed surprisingly full, but when he sorts through the letters, most are just credit card applications.
"I'm just going to--" Brendon says, starting for the elevator, but all Spencer does is nod and follow.
Brendon's condo smells like a dead dog. Though they tell him that it will be habitable by next week, none of the floors have actually been installed. They're still in boxes, leaning up against the walls.
"I think it's worse than when I left," Brendon says.
"How would you expect it to get better if you weren't there," Spencer says and it's not a question. It's not a question and Brendon's pretty sure the windows haven't been opened in the two and a half weeks since he left, so he walks over to the balcony and pulls the sliding door as wide as it'll go.
"I could just sleep out here," he says when Spencer comes up behind him.
"Stop being stupid."
--
"Can you find your way back to my place, or do you want me to drive first and make sure you're following behind?" Spencer asks as they walk out of the front doors.
Brendon's plan, half-cocked because it was formed on something like three hours of sleep, was to get his car and find somewhere else to stay. The holes in his plan are the part where he left all of his stuff at Spencer's house and the part where he couldn't come up with anywhere else to stay. There's only maybe another half week before Brendon's going to be able to move back into his place, but it's longer than five and a half seconds, which is about how long Brendon thinks he can stand to be back at Spencer's house for.
"Spencer," he says and stops.
"Brendon," Spencer says. He cocks his hips to the side and gives Brendon the chance to talk, but Brendon can't come up with anything to say. "Okay," Spencer says when the silence stretches all the way past awkward and back into something like companionable. "So you can follow behind my car."
Brendon runs his fingers through his hair and tugs at the ends. He nods.
Spencer takes three steps forward before pausing, rolling his shoulders, and doubling back.
"It's not like it's something that anyone would have given you a hard time about," he says.
Brendon gapes at him for a long moment. He knew that after-- That there was no way that Spencer wouldn't have it figured out, but how could he possibly say-- Until Brendon realizes that Spencer's talking in a more global sense, and, "Oh, right. Yeah. But, you didn't... Have you told them?"
Spencer shakes his head no.
"Did you tell Ryan?" Ryan could maybe count as a 'them' but it's Ryan and it's Spencer and Brendon just wants to know for sure.
"Ryan knows what we've been doing," Spencer says. "But I didn't say anything about-- No. Only because I think you should."
"Why?" Brendon asks. "It's not like-- It's not something I have to go around telling people. It's not a thing or whatever."
Spencer tips his head and leans into his folded arms until he's almost the same height as Brendon. "You are, right?" he asks. "Not, um. Exclusively?" Spencer tries. "But. You are?"
Brendon looks at the ground. He's never said it out loud and Spencer seems to understand enough not to try and make him.
"Have you, um?" Spencer voice cracks. Brendon looks up at him. Spencer's cheeks are a soft pink, but he looks back at Brendon.
Brendon toys with the idea of making Spencer say it out loud, but in the end, he just nods.
Spencer seems like he wants to say something else, but he just bobs his head.
"Hey," Brendon says and when Spencer looks up, he smiles. Spencer grins back and Brendon's throat closes in just a bit, just like it always does, just until he looks away. "Give me a minute to get my car."
~~~
Four:
Haley goes back home. She's still got a number of weeks left until she graduates officially. Brendon's never understood the timing of proms.
Haley leaves and Brendon's almost frantic in the energy it takes to keep everything normal. He throws himself onto Spencer on the six occasions that Spencer actually manages to beat him at Guitar Hero and pulls away before it could possibly look like he was trying for anything more than tussling.
He tries not to sit beside Spencer when they all pile onto the couch to watch movies, but he doesn't make a fuss if that's what happens, either.
He watches when Spencer shows them what his idea for the drum part sounds like, same as everyone else watches. He makes himself stare at Spencer's sticks and his foot on the kick pedal and doesn't watch the way his shoulders flex, or the way his tongue comes out from between his lips.
--
He almost jumps out of his skin when he catches Ryan watching him watching Spencer talk on the phone one evening. It turns out that Ryan just has an idea for the piano part, but.
--
He spends more time with Jon.
They create a makeshift basketball count in between two trees in the back of the cabin, even though they're both terrible at basketball. Brendon's good at jumping up and blocking Jon's shots on net, but he never remembers to dribble when he dashes back to his own side. Jon good at using his body to stop Brendon on his way to the hoop but he has remarkably bad aim from further than three feet away.
--
"Brendon, wait a sec," Spencer calls as Brendon's heading to his bedroom.
Brendon freezes. He wonders how full the tank of gas is, how far he'd be able to make it before he had to pull over if he leaves right now. He clenches his hands at his sides and wonders if the keys are still in the mug by the entrance.
"Are you tired?" Spencer asks.
Brendon isn't, not really. But there's less pressure when it's him alone in his bedroom. He shrugs noncommittally.
"I was going to watch This is Spinal Tap," Spencer says. "You want to join me?"
Brendon nods quickly, following behind Spencer. He watches Spencer set up the DVD and stretches out his legs onto the footstool, feet flopping over the edge. Spencer sits at the other end of the couch and tucks his toes under Brendon's calves. He stays like that for the whole movie.
~~~
Nine:
Brendon cooks dinner and sends Spencer out for more milk for the cream sauce.
Haley calls him a genius and asks for seconds. Spencer does the dishes.
--
Haley goes out shopping late the next afternoon and Brendon and Spencer engage in the manly art of re-alphabetizing Spencer's CDs.
Brendon tries to convince Spencer that he should start a special section just for bands that they've been on tour with. Spencer hems and haws and says, "What about bands that we've done festivals with? That section's going to get fucking huge."
Which is a fair point.
Brendon sees something caught behind the shelf and gets down on his knees to pick it up. He finds four CDs. "Do you know where the cases for these are?" he looks up and asks Spencer. Spencer looks down at him. Brendon swallows hard and stand to his feet quickly.
"I'll just put these here," Brendon says, setting the CDs down awkwardly on top of the shelf.
He tries to take a step back, but Spencer catches his wrist. Spencer wraps his fingers around Brendon's wrist and says, "Brendon," and pulls until Brendon takes a step forward, takes a step himself. He moves closer, drops Brendon's wrist and presses a hand into Brendon's hair to tilt his head up, leaning down to kiss him carefully.
Brendon's knees give a little, but Spencer catches him with a firm hand on his side.
"I want--" Spencer says. "Will you let me?"
Brendon nods and leans into Spencer's chest, leans up for another kiss.
"Tonight?" Spencer asks against his lips.
Brendon licks into his mouth slowly.
--
Haley comes home and piles her bags into Spencer's room.
"This isn't all going to fit into your suitcase," Spencer says, trailing after her.
--
Haley showers, Spencer finishes putting away the CDs, and Brendon eats left over chickpea salad, leaning over the sink.
"There's no point in me getting dressed, right?" Haley called from Spencer's room.
"That's a hint," Spencer says, waiting for Brendon to put the container back into the fridge before they walk to the bedroom together.
--
Spencer peels the plastic wrap off a new bottle of lube. Brendon pushes a pillow under his own hips and lies face down on the mattress, resting his cheek on his forearm. He can feel Spencer move on the bed behind him, crawling forward on his knees before settling and reaching for Brendon with slick fingers. Haley comes into sight after a few long moments, stretching out on the bed beside Brendon.
She holds her head up on her hand and faces him. "Does it hurt?" she whispers, even though Brendon's pretty sure that Spencer will still be able to hear her.
Spencer has slipped one finger inside and he's hardly moving.
"No," Brendon says.
"Spencer wanted to try," Haley says. "You know. With us. But--" She makes a little face.
"That's okay," Brendon says. He closes his eyes while Spencer pushes another finger inside. "You shouldn't-- anything you don't want." He opens his eyes and meets hers. She looks at him intently, frowning a little bit. "It doesn't hurt," he says again. "I promise."
He doesn't tell her that it can hurt, that it has hurt before.
Haley sweeps her hair away from her face then rests her hand on top of Brendon's. He rubs over her index finger with his thumb and concentrates hard on keeping his hips still. He wants to push back against Spencer's fingers, to rub forward against the pillow. He turns his hand palm-up and curls his fingers between Haley's.
Spencer isn't touching him anywhere except inside. He's still hardly moving his hand, but his fingers are curled a little bit and rubbing and Brendon shudders before he can help himself. Spencer keeps doing it, so Brendon thinks that maybe it's on purpose, even though he can't imagine how Spencer would know.
His grip tightens around Haley, and even though his palm is warm and wet now, she doesn't seem to mind.
"Is he doing it right?" she asks. "We looked online."
"Y-yeah," Brendon says. "He's doing it right."
Spencer pulls his fingers apart and there's a stretch and Brendon wants more. He rubs his cheek into the pillow and gasps, "Haley."
She pushes up and twists around. "Alright," she says to Spencer. "Get on with it, now. Geeze."
Spencer hesitates. "Maybe I should just--" He spreads his fingers again and moves slowly. "I don't know."
"I think he's ready," she says.
This is maybe a conversation that Brendon should be part of, but he just presses his forehead into the pillow and grins to himself.
Somewhere in there, there's a shuffle above him and Haley leaning over to pass something to Spencer before lying back down on the bed. Spencer's fingers move away. Brendon makes himself stay how he is, face turned towards Haley, instead of burrowing into the pillow like he wants. He almost worries that too much is going to show if he lets her see his face, but it's so far past too late for that, that he doesn't even bother trying to hide. He faces her and lets his eyes fall half-shut as Spencer leans over him and starts to push inside.
He goes slowly, so slowly, and it's almost too much already, almost more than Brendon can stand, and Haley sits up, saying, "Spencer, Spence, stop, I don't think--" so he has to release his bottom lip from between his teeth and grit out, "Doesn't hurt. It doesn't-- Fuck."
Spencer used a lot of lube with his fingers, even more on his cock, so it's an easy slide. He can tell that the effort behind Spencer's hips is coming from trying not to sink in, not from exerting enough pressure to push inside.
Haley looks back and forth between them and chews on her thumb.
"Come here," Brendon says, reaching for her until she lies back down. They share the same pillow, and he presses his forehead against hers and kisses her softly. Spencer pulls out a little bit, still just as carefully, before pressing forward again. Brendon thinks it should be easier to muffle the noise he makes against Haley's lips, but when she licks just the tip of her tongue over his bottom lip, his breath catches sharply. Spencer pushes inside again; he's using longer strokes now and Brendon arches into it. He aches into it and Spencer pushes in again and he's nudging Brendon forward into the pillow. Brendon's cock jerks. He can't breathe. He can't breathe and he opens his mouth and gasps raggedly, and Haley licks inside, sweeping over his tongue and licking up the sound, and then the next, when Spencer fucks in harder.
Spencer reaches his hands around Brendon's hips, and even though it means losing some of the glorious friction supplied by the pillow, Brendon pushes back into his hands. His hands. Spencer's hands. Spencer's hands and Spencer's fingers pressing into Brendon's skin, gripping firmly, and when he fucks in all the way, there's no pause before he pulls out again, pushes forward again. Just the steady roll of his hips, and Haley can't catch the noise Brendon makes, hoarse and raw in his throat. Spencer just fucks him harder.
Brendon told them that he's done this before, but Spencer's still being more careful than the guy Brendon lost his virginity to was. Spencer's fucking him smooth and steady, holding him, but not forcing him still.
Brendon spreads his legs wider and the angle changes. He exhales loudly. He's the only one making noise, but he didn't come, so he's not as embarrassed as he could be.
Spencer ducks his head down for a quick press of his lips to Brendon's back. His hands are tighter on Brendon's hips now, pulling him back when Spencer thrusts forward, and it's good. It's good and Brendon moves with him as best he can, but mostly just closes his eyes and tries to feel everything, everywhere.
Haley hasn't kissed him for a while. When he looks her way she's biting her lip and rubbing her hand between her legs.
"Shit," Brendon says softly, watching as she arches against her hand. "Shit," he says. "Spencer. Spencer, look."
"I know," Spencer says. His voice is rough like Brendon's never heard before and he shivers hard.
Brendon whimpers.
"You've got to," Spencer says. "You have to tell me--"
"Don't stop," Brendon gasps. "Spencer please."
Spencer's fucking him hard now, fucking him like he fucked Haley and Brendon pushes his hand into the pillow under his hips, curling it around his cock.
He should move the pillow, probably, but he can't stop. He can't move his hand away from his cock, can't move away from Spencer's cock, the slick sounds beside him as Haley touches herself. She's mostly quiet, but Brendon can feel her staring.
"Brendon," Spencer says, urgently, and Brendon comes.
He comes, hard, and it's a long time before his body stops shaking. Spencer fucks him through it before he jerks in hard, one last time and Haley gasps loudly, finally stilling beside him.
Brendon rubs his face into his arm and waits for feeling to return to all of his limbs.
Spencer flops down on top of him and Brendon groans under his weight.
"Baby," Spencer says, before rolling off of Brendon onto the bed.
Brendon takes one last deep breath before pushing off the mattress and reaching a hand out of grope for his clothes on the floor.
"Do you always wear clothes to sleep?" Spencer says.
"No," Brendon says.
"Then just leave it." Spencer crawls over the bed, fixing the pillows, pulling down the comforter. He lies down in the center of the bed, sprawling on his back bonelessly.
"Spence! You're taking up all the space," Haley says, poking at him. "Brendon!"
"You're taking up all the space," Brendon repeats, curling up around Spencer's side.
Haley reaches across Spencer's chest until she catches Brendon's shoulder, following down the path of his arm until she gets to his hand. She wraps their fingers together and makes a face at Brendon when Spencer makes a little snarfling noise.
"Hey," she whispers, leaning over conspiratorially. "I want to see you fuck him next."
"Okay," Brendon says as his eyes start to drift shut. "We should probably wait until he wakes up though."
Spencer/Haley/Brendon | NC-17 | ~ 8500 words
"No," Spencer says. "I mean. Okay. So, Haley was thinking, right. Umm. That--"
Brendon tilts his head to the side. "That?"
This is for and because of elfiepike, who said she wanted more spencer/haley/brendon stories. And then, she was an incredibly fabulous beta/input-giver! There aren't enough <3's in the world for how much I love her! Thank you, elfiepike!!! One down, 4 999 999 to go. :D
Title and cut tag comes from "Anywhere under the moon" by Dala.
~~~
Five:
It's probably not an unusually hot summer, but Brendon's spent the last year in air-conditioned hotel rooms, the last few months in a cabin in the mountains, and it certainly feels unusually hot.
He's sitting on the steps leading out of the shallow end of the pool, on the bottom floor of Ryan's apartment complex. He needs to find his own place.
Ryan swims laps.
Spencer sits on the ledge of the pool, just off to the side of Brendon. He's still fully dressed, holding his phone in his hands. He tucks the phone into his pocket and rolls up the bottoms of his jeans in neat little folds.
Brendon looks away from the sharp curve of his ankle bone.
"Haley's going to come stay in Vegas at the end of June," Spencer says. He's managed to get a place of his own, though Brendon still isn't sure what 'stay in Vegas' would mean, because Spencer mostly seems to still be living at home.
"Cool," Brendon says.
Spencer wanders to the deep end of the pool to catch Ryan. It almost seems like he's asking permission, which is dumb because it's not like they're living on a tour bus anymore. It's not like anyone else should have a say in the matter. Except that they went to Spencer's mom's house for lunch and now they're hanging out at Ryan's, and this evening they're going to go pick Jon up at the airport, and sometime they should probably actually started writing the new songs, if they really are going to just trash everything they wrote at the cabin. So, yeah. Maybe it makes sense for Spencer to let them know what's going on.
It's still not the same as them having a say though.
--
They pick up Jon at baggage claim, and Jon picks up Dylan, locked in a little carrying case. Dylan's a silent lump in the plastic carton.
Brendon stares at the animal. He doesn't want to alarm Jon, because Jon doesn't seem to have noticed yet, but the airport seems to have killed his cat.
Jon sets the cage down on the bench while Ryan goes off to use the bathroom. Brendon sits down beside it, and as stealthily as he can, he sticks one of his fingers through the metal bars and pokes at the pile of fur.
Dylan doesn't move.
Brendon pokes again.
"Why're you poking my cat?" Jon asks.
Brendon pulls his hand away quickly. "Don't-- Don't panic," Brendon says. "But, um. I just. I think Dylan's dead," he says in a rush.
Jon snorts loudly and Brendon makes an appalled face.
"I gave him a tranquilizer," Jon says. "For traveling."
"Oh. Never mind then."
--
Brendon goes out to buy a sandwich on a Thursday afternoon and comes back the new owner of a condo.
When he tells his parents, his mom says that he can take the old set of plates and cups with him. His dad says that since they were planning on buying a new couch anyways, he can have the one in the family room.
It never occurs to Brendon to tell them that he can really afford to buy all of this for himself. Brendon also never thinks to mention how he could have used this stuff more in his first apartment, but they hadn't offered him anything then.
Instead, he says thank you, and asks if he can also take the old armchair that he stole from the living room and moved into his bedroom.
They say yes.
~~~
one:
Haley graduates, and Spencer flies in for her prom. They both fly back to the cabin, afterwards. They show up a day sooner than expected, so Ryan and Jon have to go into town to buy groceries.
Brendon would have gone, too. He's the only one with a sister, so he's the only one who'd know how to shop to feed a girl anyway, but Ryan and Jon just walked to the car, and Brendon's stuck at home to greet Spencer.
"They do know that girls eat the same food as everyone else?" Haley asks him. They're sitting on the deck: Haley lying across Spencer's chest on the long wooden bench, Brendon on a chair with his arms wrapped around his calves and his chin resting on his knees.
Brendon laughs.
He's not so sure about that though. It's been just them in the cabin for a long time, and he's pretty sure girls think that meals consist more than nachos and sometimes canned beans.
Spencer kisses the top of her head.
--
Having Haley at the cabin is different than when Keltie comes to visit. Keltie's older, and she's used to traveling. When she comes, they all make an effort not to go more than three days without showering, and Ryan sometimes even wears jeans instead of sweatpants. But for the most part, it's pretty comfortable.
Haley's young and used to eating three meals at the same time every day and to sleeping in the same bed every night, and they're all on their best behaviour.
Spencer seems to know it too. He does the dishes every single night without complaint.
--
Haley likes hiking.
When Brendon's sent out of the cabin (to, "Work of some of your energy," Ryan says, holding his broken tennis racket and glaring at Brendon), Haley offers to join him.
Brendon looks over at Spencer.
"Don't let the bears eat her," Spencer tells him solemnly.
"Where do you want to go?" Brendon says, standing outside and waiting for her to finish lacing up her shoes.
She laughs, softly. "I don't know this area at all," she reminds him. "We can go wherever you want."
Brendon ends up leading her to one of the lower summits. She oohs and awws appropriately and asks him where they're going to go next.
Brendon is impressed in spite of himself.
They ends up walking all the way up to the where the stream starts, way up at the top of one of the peaks, and only make it back to the cabin before dark by the skin of their teeth. Haley's talkative, but not giggly, and she and Brendon manage to get mildly lost on the way up, chasing a squirrel off the path.
--
Brendon wanders into the kitchen in the early evening and finds Spencer folding up the empty cereal boxes that have been accumulating in the corner. He throws the plastic bag away and flattens the cardboard.
"Someone can take this in for recycling the next time they go into town," Spencer says when Brendon steps over the pile on his journey to the fridge.
"Good idea," Brendon says. He grabs the orange juice out of the fridge, and even pours it into a glass instead of just drinking out of the carton. After he's rinsed out the glass, Spencer turns to face him.
"Brendon," he says, and then pauses.
There's a long moment of silence. Spencer's gaze darts around the room, looking everywhere but at Brendon.
“Is something up?” Brendon finally asks.
"No," Spencer says. "I mean. Okay. So, Haley was thinking, right. Umm. That--"
Brendon tilts his head to the side. "That?"
"Well, maybe. If you wanted to. I mean, if you didn't mind. I mean, if you wanted to. That." Spencer clears his throat. He looks at the ground. "You know?"
Brendon doesn't know. "That what?"
"That you could, maybe. You know. With us." Spencer still hasn't looked up.
Brendon heart stops beating for a long stretch.
"Well, more with her," Spencer says. "Like. With us, but it'd be with her, right?"
Brendon attempts to swallow. "Oh," he manages to croak out.
"So?" Spencer says, looking up at Brendon for the first time.
~~~
Six:
A pipe under Brendon's sink explodes while he's out seeing a movie with Jon.
When he gets back home, the entire place is flooded, four inches deep. He knows this because when he opens the front door and water spills from inside his place into the hallway, his shoes get completely soaked.
"Uh oh," Jon says.
--
The floors have to be completely redone.
Theoretically, most of his furniture should be replaced as well, but Brendon just can't bring himself to care that the wood on his kitchen table's legs is warped and discolored.
--
"Three weeks," Brendon says when the four of them go out for lunch. "And that was only because I bribed the guy at the counter with an autograph for his daughter."
Everyone grimaces.
"And I'm not allowed to live there in the meantime. Something about mold issues."
"Where are you going to stay?" Jon asks.
Brendon shrugs. The thing of it is that he's got a couple of friends who have their own places, and he could probably mooch off them, maybe. But he hasn't really been in contact with them since. It's been a while. And besides them, most of his friends still live at home.
Jon's been staying with people he knows (Brendon still hasn't figured out how Jon has more friends in Vegas than he does), in and out of houses, like he hadn't gotten enough of it while they were on the road.
"You can have my couch," Ryan says. Ryan's condo has a spare bedroom, but Ryan decided to turn it into an art studio. "Unless-- Jon, you've still got a place to stay right? Were you planning on crashing with me?"
"Eh," Jon says. "I hadn't really thought that far ahead."
"Just stay with me," Spencer says.
"Who?" Brendon asks.
"Either of you. Both of you. I've got three bedrooms."
"I thought Haley was staying with you," Brendon says.
"She doesn't sleep in a different bedroom," Spencer says slowly, and Jon laughs loudly, elbowing Brendon.
"I know," Brendon snipes. "I just meant. That. She's staying with you. And."
"It's fine," Spencer says. "Seriously."
--
It isn't fine, because Brendon's sitting at the island in Spencer kitchen, watching Haley feed Spencer macaroni as they make dinner together and, "Hot, hot, hot," Haley says, trying to blow on the noodle she's holding. Spencer takes it from her and sucks on her fingers.
"Do you eat cheese?" Haley asks Brendon. "Can we put some in the sauce?"
Spencer snorts. "He's barely even a practicing vegetarian," Spencer says, pulling a block of cheddar out of the fridge. "No way he could manage to be a vegan."
Brendon picks at the cuticle on his thumbnail until it starts to bleed and Haley makes him stop.
~~~
Two:
Brendon feels almost sick to his stomach when he knocks on Spencer's bedroom door. He stands for about four and a half seconds and is just about ready to turn back and flee, when Spencer opens the door.
"How's it going?" Spencer asks automatically, and the normalcy of it almost makes Brendon laugh out loud. Spencer wrinkles his nose in something like an apology and doesn't press for Brendon to answer.
Haley's in the bed, sitting on top of the covers. Brendon gives her a little wave. His hands are shaking.
If they ask him if he's sure, if they give him an out, he's going to take it. If they give him a chance to go, if they laugh it off, if they laugh him out. Anything. And he'd be grateful for it.
His cock's hard in his jeans and he's not sure if he's still supposed to hide that, or if now that's the kind of thing that they can know about. He tugs his t-shirt down a little bit.
Spencer climbs up on the bed next to Haley. They kiss, slow and wet, and Brendon can hear them, the slick noises of their mouths coming together. Spencer runs his hands under Haley's shirt, stroking over her lower back, before catching the shirt and pulling it over her head. Brendon watches the movement of Spencer's arms and he doesn't notice that Spencer's taken off her bra until it's in Spencer's hand and being dropped onto the floor.
Spencer moves down on the bed and Haley arches off the mattress as Spencer slides off her jeans. They look good together, which Brendon already knew, somewhere in his head, even though he's always tried not to think about it. They look good together, and for a minute Brendon feels a cold wash of relief because he must have misunderstood. He's really only here to watch.
He can do that. He can stand here and then walk away, knowing what Spencer looks like this, and maybe it will make it worse, harder, to face Spencer in the morning, but Brendon's had to face him every day for years now knowing what Spencer looks like drumming, and maybe it's harder, but Brendon wouldn't have it any other way.
Brendon adjusts his stance a little, letting one hip push forward. He crosses his arms over his chest. He doesn't understand why they want him here, doesn't understand how Haley could possibly want someone else when she's got Spencer. But maybe it's one of those things that all couples do after they've been dating for a couple of years: get a friend to watch them while they have sex. Brendon wouldn't know; he's never dated anyone longer than a short handful of months.
Spencer's feet are bare, and Brendon watches the way that they twist against the sheets as he holds himself up, Haley's bare calves resting on the bed beside him. It seems like a safe place to watch. Brendon's pretty sure that Haley's naked now, but he's scared to check.
He's staring hard at their feet, so it takes him a minute to realize that they are both looking at him, that they've stopped what they were doing. Brendon finally glances towards the head of the bed, guiltily, even though he hasn't been doing anything wrong.
"Are you coming?" Haley asks.
Oh.
Brendon takes a first trip-step forward.
"You're probably going to have to get naked," Haley reminds him. Her smile isn't unkind, but Brendon would rather strip down on-stage in front of an arena full of fans than do it here, while Spencer and Haley watch.
He pulls off his shirt and fumbles with his belt buckle. There's movement on the bed, but Brendon doesn't look up. The temperature of the room feels cold, and Brendon mostly would just like to crawl under the comforters, but Haley's lying on the bed, and that's not an option. Brendon crawls up on the bed beside her. He doesn't know if it's better or worse to have Spencer actually on the bed too. The comforter is a dusty blue color, Haley's thigh a pale tan, and Brendon still doesn't know where he's allowed to look.
Brendon can't read the look on his face when Spencer passes over a condom, still in the wrapper, but he doesn't care to look harder, anyway. He holds it in his hand for a minute before finally, finally looking up to Haley's eyes. She nods encouragingly. He tears the foil.
Fucking Spencer's girlfriend isn't weirder than playing for Pete Wentz in Spencer's grandmother's garage. Brendon's not sure why that's what pops into his head, except that this is a kind of performance too. He pushes inside of her slowly. Probably more carefully than he really has to be, given that he knows that he's not more than she'd used to. He pushes all the way inside and fights the urge to look up at Spencer and see if it's all right for him to move now.
Spencer hasn't said anything since Brendon has entered the room. Even now, all he says is, "Can you-- Just up a bit?" but still Brendon's cock jerks. He moves and Spencer gets a hand between him and Haley, and Brendon doesn't come just like that, but it's a close thing. Spencer moves his hand between them, and Haley's making noise now, just barely. There's a soft edge to her exhales.
Brendon manages something like a rhythm, manages to thrust in without pushing into Spencer's hand. Spencer's hand which is right there, right above Brendon's cock, and Brendon counts the flowers on the pillow under Haley's head and breathes silently through his nose.
Somewhere in there, Haley comes. Brendon only really knows this because her head twists on the pillow, spilling her hair across the flower pattern.
Brendon freezes. He doesn't know what he's supposed to do now. If he should stop, should pull out, should just keep going. He can't bring himself to look anyone in the eye, but he lets his eyes snap down. Spencer's hand is still on Haley, rubbing slowly. Brendon pushes in, a couple times. Still, Spencer's hand doesn't pull away.
Brendon stops moving and stares down between them, watching Spencer's hand move, fingers working in quick circles, the flex of his forearm as he reaches. Brendon watches and Spencer brings Haley off again. She's louder this time, now that her voice has gone a bit raw. Spencer moves his hand away after that, finally, and now Brendon's watching Haley's hands, as she twists her upper body and stretches to Spencer. Spencer's still dressed, all the way. Haley pushes his shirt away, pulls his cock out of his pants, lets him push into her fist, and Brendon comes, sudden and silent, at the sight.
Brendon pulls out quickly, moving away. He tugs hard until the condom snaps off and throws it in the waste basket beside the bed, forgetting to tie it first. He walks to his pile of clothes, tugs on his jeans, his t-shirt. Doesn't even try to fight with his belt.
Spencer and Haley are kissing now, but Spencer's making little noises, rocking slowly upwards, and Brendon just can't.
He closes the door quietly behind himself.
~~~
Seven:
Brendon rents the second season of Family Guy and watches through the first three discs in one sitting. He lies in his bed, with his laptop on his stomach, until he laughs so hard that it almost falls on the floor. After that, he puts the laptop on his bed, and he lies on his stomach.
Somewhere else in the house, Spencer and Haley make lunch, go out shopping, come home, leave for dinner. Brendon can hear them moving around, hear them leaving.
--
It's three in the morning and Brendon's playing Guitar Hero. He's got it on so quietly that he has to stand right in front of the TV to make out the music and he doesn't hear it until Spencer's right beside him.
Spencer just unwraps the cord from the second guitar, waits until Brendon's song finishes and the game saves to restart the machine.
They're still playing when Haley wakes up. She wanders in the room, and Brendon doesn't know if she's still wearing her pajamas because he doesn't look away from the screen.
"You can turn it up now," she tells them, "and move away from the TV, before you both go blind."
"Too late for Brendon," Spencer says.
Brendon tilts the guitar and activates his star power.
--
Brendon falls asleep on the couch, watching Spencer play. When he wakes up many hours later, Haley's sitting over him, and Spencer's gone.
She presses her hand flat across his chest.
"Hey," she says.
"Hi," Brendon croaks. Without his glasses, her face is blurry, even this close. He can tell that she's smiling.
"When you wake up, you should come to Spencer's room," she says. Then, she pecks him on the lips and walks away.
--
Brendon paces around in the living room for a good half hour, but in the end, he goes.
By the time he gets to Spencer's room, they've already started. The door has been left open; Brendon just walks in. It's late afternoon, so even though the blinds are drawn, and the lights are off, Brendon can still see them clearly. Can see the stretch and flex of Spencer's back as he leans over her, working his hips quickly.
Spencer fucks Haley while Brendon shuts the door, even though there's no reason to, and takes his clothes off. Brendon perches of the edge of the bed, sitting gingerly so the mattress doesn't dip under his weight. They're closer to one edge of the bed; Brendon sits on the other side. He turns sideways, one leg tucked under himself and watches as Haley comes, shuddering, just from Spencer's cock. Brendon's never been able to get her to do that.
Spencer pulls out after that. He hasn't come yet, Brendon doesn't think, because he's still hard.
The bedside table is on the same side of the bed as Brendon, but Brendon really doesn't want to reach for a condom. Not after seeing what it's like for her with Spencer. He waits until Spencer settles, then pulls himself all the way onto the bed, pulls himself over to her, and settles on his elbows in between her thighs.
She's so wet when he licks into her, twisting his tongue inside as far as it will go. She tastes almost sweet, against the sharp taste of the lube from the condom. The lube from when Spencer was fucking her. Spencer fucked her, and now Brendon's licking inside, and there's just the taste of latex, but still it's enough to make Brendon's head swim.
He pulls his tongue away reluctantly, sweeping over her clit. She touches his head gently, and Brendon makes a soft noise when her fingers pet across his hair. Her clit is flushed and full and he sucks gently, until her fingers tighten and her hips jump up off the bed. He keeps on licking, through her shudders, past when she stops. She moves restlessly beneath him, hips shifting against his mouth, back and away when it's too much. He makes his tongue slick and gentle, coaxes until when she moves, she's moving towards him. He slips two fingers inside and pulses slowly, touches over the same places Spencer's cock touched, and brings her off again.
He can feel her leg shaking where it's pressed to his side, and the bed is soaking wet underneath them. He scoots backwards. Haley rolls away from the wet spot and falls asleep.
Brendon stares at her for a minute, watches as she curls into herself, tucking her fist under her chin, until there's a movement on the other side of the bed drawing his attention back to Spencer for the first time.
Spencer's naked and still hard, and now it's just the two of them. Brendon looks up from where he's crouched, and Spencer looks back. Brendon's mouth and chin are still wet. He looks up and Spencer's looking at him for once, actually looking at him. Brendon can't stop himself. He shuffles over the thirtysome inches between them and swallows Spencer's cock.
Spencer's silent and still and unresponsive, but he's hard in Brendon's mouth and Brendon gasps in air before taking him all the way down. Spencer makes a noise then, low in his throat. Brendon shuts his eyes tight.
There must be a spring right under Brendon's knee, because each time he shifts his weight, the bed squeaks. It's the loudest sound in the room, louder than Haley's deep breaths and Spencer's stilted exhalations. Spencer's hands are resting on the bed, fingers splayed, and Brendon wants to twist his fingers into Spencer's. He wants Spencer's to twist into his hair. He twists his tongue over the head of Spencer's cock and licks until his tongue feels thick and salty.
Spencer isn't moving; his hips are still in the sheet. He just lies there and when he comes, he doesn't make a sound, no warning or anything, but he comes and Brendon swallows.
Brendon swallows and lets Spencer cock slip out of his mouth and he takes a deep ragged breath. He licks his lips and wishes that Spencer was more demonstrative so that he could have dragged it out for longer. He's still close to Spencer, can still smell Spencer. Brendon takes a breath and then moves away quickly. He gets his boxers on, and is halfway out the door before he's even got his pants done up.
Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Spencer rolling across the bed and curling around Haley.
~~~
Three:
Spencer corners him the next day.
Jon's on the phone, and Ryan's taking Hobo for a walk, but still Brendon looks around guiltily when Spencer leans in.
Spencer looks calm, and his eyes are twinkling a little bit, but still Brendon flinches when Spencer says, "You're going to hurt Haley's feelings. She thinks you don't like her."
"No," Brendon says. "I do. I mean, not that I--"
Spencer must take pity on him, because he grins. "So come again tonight. She's going to be leaving in a couple of days."
Brendon nods, then slumps against the wall when Spencer walks away.
"No," he says out loud. Apparently his mouth can still form the words. Just not when it counts.
--
He probably would have found some way to get out of it except that they corner him when he's walking out of the bathroom. Haley's in a long t-shirt that probably once belonged to Spencer and her legs are bare. The cabin's got an erratic heating system, but it keeps the place warm at night. She threads her arm through his and Spencer follows behind, and neither of them say anything, so it's not like Brendon has the chance to say no anyways.
Haley leads him to the bed and helps him take his clothes off. She gestures for him to lie down, then shimmies out of her clothes while he watches. She holds herself up on one elbow and sucks on his cock while Spencer fucks her from behind. Brendon feels more exposed this time, feels embarrassed, because again it's Spencer making her moan. He's so uncomfortable that despite being strangely turned on, he doesn't know if he's going to be able to come. Haley's mouth is soft and wet and lovely, and Brendon tries to focus on that, but Spencer's fucking her hard, and he's sweating, rising up on his knees as he thrusts in deep. Brendon feels so turned on watching him that it goes right passed aroused and into ashamed.
Spencer fucks her until he comes, and then he slips his fingers inside. Brendon can't really see, but Haley's making little noises around his cock and pushing backwards. Spencer has nice fingers.
Haley's lifts her head up and, "Can I?" she asks, looking up at Brendon.
He's not sure what she's asking for, but he nods quickly.
She reaches into the blankets and manages to pull out a condom, which she rolls onto him. Brendon feels like he's not entirely in his own body when she sinks down on top of him. Somewhere in his lower belly, he can feel the slow tug of orgasm, but it's far away. Haley's hair is swishing around her shoulders as she moves. He watches the way her hips roll, what it does to the swell of her belly, and then Spencer's reaching around and pressing his fingers to her clit, so Brendon watches that.
Spencer rises up behind her, pushing up on his knees and kissing along her shoulder. She turns her head to the side and Brendon watches as the tip of Spencer's tongue traces the shell of her ear. His hand is still working over her. She's not moving much, just clenching around him, and maybe it's enough but Brendon still feels like he's watching from far away.
Spencer shifts and says, loud enough that they can both hear, "Sit up, so Brendon can move," and pulls at her thigh with his free hand. Haley rises up further on her knees, and Brendon grips the sheets hard as he snaps his hips up. He sweats with the effort. The sound of their bodies coming together is loud and sharp, but it's hardly any time at all before Haley's whimpering sweetly, arching back against Spencer as she keens, and then slumping forward on to Brendon's chest.
Brendon reaches up and pushes her hair away from her face. She blinks up at him slowly and says, "Come on," grinding back against him. Brendon's surprised when he comes, minutes later, just from the friction between their bodies, as Spencer rubs over Haley's thigh and catches the skin of Brendon's stomach with the tips of his fingers on each downstroke.
He doesn't make a sound when he comes, so it takes Haley a minute to sit up and move off him. Brendon rolls out from under her when she starts to lift off and he sits at the edge of the bed, pulling the condom of himself. He leans over and picks his boxers up off the floor, tugging them over his feet and up his calves before hopping off the bed and pulling them all the way on. He wouldn't bother putting his pants back on, but he still has to walk back to his own bedroom and he's worried he might run into Ryan or Jon.
"Night," he says before he slips out the door.
--
When get back back to his own room, his Sidekick buzzes.
U didn't have to leave, from Spencer. Well, from Spencer's cell. Brendon's pretty sure that the message is from Haley.
He turns his phone off completely and goes to bed still wearing all of his clothes.
--
The next day, he breaks three strings on his guitar and Ryan breaks one of his own.
"Maybe we should stop for now," Jon says. "Bass strings are really expensive."
"I've still got lots of drumsticks," Spencer says.
"You two keep going," Ryan says to Brendon and Spencer. "Use the piano. I'll do mine and Jon'll restring your guitar for you."
And then it's just him and Spencer.
Brendon sits down at the piano bench and cracks his knuckles.
Spencer counts them in.
There's an easy balance between them, between the melody and the rhythm and Brendon's voice and Spencer's movement and Brendon just lets go and plays.
~~~
Eight:
Brendon brushes his teeth, then goes back to his own room and lies awake until he manages to bore himself into slumber by reciting all the passages of the Book of Mormon that he can still remember word for word.
Brendon's car is still in the underground parking lot for his building. He wakes up at 4:30 AM, 5:15 AM, 6:03 AM and decides that he needs to bring it over to Spencer's. Spencer and Haley are still asleep, should still be asleep, so Brendon leaves a note on the kitchen table, Be back soon, -Bden, and leaves on foot.
--
He's only been to Spencer's house a small handful of times before this recent stretch as a house guest. He's only had his own place for a couple handfuls of weeks. He's pretty sure that cutting through the park is going to be a short cut, but he comes out the other side and loses sight of the main road that he usually takes when he drives. He ends up taking side streets, one up and then one across, trying to find it again, but he can't. After 3 hours and 15 minutes of walking, he ends up at a mall he recognizes, completely in the opposite direction from his house.
He goes inside and tries to find a bus schedule at the info booth, but they're all out. His feet aren't sore exactly, his sneakers are more comfortable than the kind of boots he wears when he performs, but his nervous energy is gone now, and mostly he just wants a nap.
He walks through the mall until he finds a vendor selling sunglasses and buys the biggest pair that he can find. He knows, knows somewhere logical, that he's more conspicuous wandering around indoors wearing shades, but he can't help the easy rush of relief he gets when he puts them on.
The mall is mostly full of elderly people walking slowly up and down the hallways. Brendon ducks into a bookstore when he sees a group of preteens walking towards him and reads through a collection of Far Side comics until he starts getting dirty looks from the staff.
There's a juice bar just off the side of the food court and Brendon orders a strawberry and cranberry smoothie.
He calls Spencer for a ride.
Spencer says, "Only you could get lost walking to your own house and still manage to find a place to get smoothies."
"I'll just call Ryan," Brendon says after a pause.
"Don't be a dickwad," Spencer says. "I'll be right there."
--
Spencer shows up in about eighteen minutes, during which time four people ask if they can bum a smoke off Brendon, and no one asks for an autograph. He looks like the kind of guy who has cigarettes? Really?
Spencer pulls into the loading zone and Brendon slumps into the passenger seat.
"To your place, right?" Spencer asks.
"If that's okay," Brendon says gratefully. Something had definitely gone wrong along the course of the morning, because if Brendon had wanted to be trapped inside an enclosed space with Spencer, he would have just stayed at Spencer's house.
Spencer turns up the music even louder and taps out a complex beat on the steering wheel while he waits at the red light.
They pull into Brendon's complex and Brendon's out of the door almost before Spencer's come to a complete stop. He turns to say a quick thanks for the ride before bolting away, but to his surprise, Spencer has pulled the car into park and is unbuckling his seatbelt.
He clicks the key chain to lock the car and follows Brendon into his building.
"We probably should have been coming more often to check the mail," Spencer comments, as Brendon turns his key into the lock and pulls open the tiny door. His mailbox is packed surprisingly full, but when he sorts through the letters, most are just credit card applications.
"I'm just going to--" Brendon says, starting for the elevator, but all Spencer does is nod and follow.
Brendon's condo smells like a dead dog. Though they tell him that it will be habitable by next week, none of the floors have actually been installed. They're still in boxes, leaning up against the walls.
"I think it's worse than when I left," Brendon says.
"How would you expect it to get better if you weren't there," Spencer says and it's not a question. It's not a question and Brendon's pretty sure the windows haven't been opened in the two and a half weeks since he left, so he walks over to the balcony and pulls the sliding door as wide as it'll go.
"I could just sleep out here," he says when Spencer comes up behind him.
"Stop being stupid."
--
"Can you find your way back to my place, or do you want me to drive first and make sure you're following behind?" Spencer asks as they walk out of the front doors.
Brendon's plan, half-cocked because it was formed on something like three hours of sleep, was to get his car and find somewhere else to stay. The holes in his plan are the part where he left all of his stuff at Spencer's house and the part where he couldn't come up with anywhere else to stay. There's only maybe another half week before Brendon's going to be able to move back into his place, but it's longer than five and a half seconds, which is about how long Brendon thinks he can stand to be back at Spencer's house for.
"Spencer," he says and stops.
"Brendon," Spencer says. He cocks his hips to the side and gives Brendon the chance to talk, but Brendon can't come up with anything to say. "Okay," Spencer says when the silence stretches all the way past awkward and back into something like companionable. "So you can follow behind my car."
Brendon runs his fingers through his hair and tugs at the ends. He nods.
Spencer takes three steps forward before pausing, rolling his shoulders, and doubling back.
"It's not like it's something that anyone would have given you a hard time about," he says.
Brendon gapes at him for a long moment. He knew that after-- That there was no way that Spencer wouldn't have it figured out, but how could he possibly say-- Until Brendon realizes that Spencer's talking in a more global sense, and, "Oh, right. Yeah. But, you didn't... Have you told them?"
Spencer shakes his head no.
"Did you tell Ryan?" Ryan could maybe count as a 'them' but it's Ryan and it's Spencer and Brendon just wants to know for sure.
"Ryan knows what we've been doing," Spencer says. "But I didn't say anything about-- No. Only because I think you should."
"Why?" Brendon asks. "It's not like-- It's not something I have to go around telling people. It's not a thing or whatever."
Spencer tips his head and leans into his folded arms until he's almost the same height as Brendon. "You are, right?" he asks. "Not, um. Exclusively?" Spencer tries. "But. You are?"
Brendon looks at the ground. He's never said it out loud and Spencer seems to understand enough not to try and make him.
"Have you, um?" Spencer voice cracks. Brendon looks up at him. Spencer's cheeks are a soft pink, but he looks back at Brendon.
Brendon toys with the idea of making Spencer say it out loud, but in the end, he just nods.
Spencer seems like he wants to say something else, but he just bobs his head.
"Hey," Brendon says and when Spencer looks up, he smiles. Spencer grins back and Brendon's throat closes in just a bit, just like it always does, just until he looks away. "Give me a minute to get my car."
~~~
Four:
Haley goes back home. She's still got a number of weeks left until she graduates officially. Brendon's never understood the timing of proms.
Haley leaves and Brendon's almost frantic in the energy it takes to keep everything normal. He throws himself onto Spencer on the six occasions that Spencer actually manages to beat him at Guitar Hero and pulls away before it could possibly look like he was trying for anything more than tussling.
He tries not to sit beside Spencer when they all pile onto the couch to watch movies, but he doesn't make a fuss if that's what happens, either.
He watches when Spencer shows them what his idea for the drum part sounds like, same as everyone else watches. He makes himself stare at Spencer's sticks and his foot on the kick pedal and doesn't watch the way his shoulders flex, or the way his tongue comes out from between his lips.
--
He almost jumps out of his skin when he catches Ryan watching him watching Spencer talk on the phone one evening. It turns out that Ryan just has an idea for the piano part, but.
--
He spends more time with Jon.
They create a makeshift basketball count in between two trees in the back of the cabin, even though they're both terrible at basketball. Brendon's good at jumping up and blocking Jon's shots on net, but he never remembers to dribble when he dashes back to his own side. Jon good at using his body to stop Brendon on his way to the hoop but he has remarkably bad aim from further than three feet away.
--
"Brendon, wait a sec," Spencer calls as Brendon's heading to his bedroom.
Brendon freezes. He wonders how full the tank of gas is, how far he'd be able to make it before he had to pull over if he leaves right now. He clenches his hands at his sides and wonders if the keys are still in the mug by the entrance.
"Are you tired?" Spencer asks.
Brendon isn't, not really. But there's less pressure when it's him alone in his bedroom. He shrugs noncommittally.
"I was going to watch This is Spinal Tap," Spencer says. "You want to join me?"
Brendon nods quickly, following behind Spencer. He watches Spencer set up the DVD and stretches out his legs onto the footstool, feet flopping over the edge. Spencer sits at the other end of the couch and tucks his toes under Brendon's calves. He stays like that for the whole movie.
~~~
Nine:
Brendon cooks dinner and sends Spencer out for more milk for the cream sauce.
Haley calls him a genius and asks for seconds. Spencer does the dishes.
--
Haley goes out shopping late the next afternoon and Brendon and Spencer engage in the manly art of re-alphabetizing Spencer's CDs.
Brendon tries to convince Spencer that he should start a special section just for bands that they've been on tour with. Spencer hems and haws and says, "What about bands that we've done festivals with? That section's going to get fucking huge."
Which is a fair point.
Brendon sees something caught behind the shelf and gets down on his knees to pick it up. He finds four CDs. "Do you know where the cases for these are?" he looks up and asks Spencer. Spencer looks down at him. Brendon swallows hard and stand to his feet quickly.
"I'll just put these here," Brendon says, setting the CDs down awkwardly on top of the shelf.
He tries to take a step back, but Spencer catches his wrist. Spencer wraps his fingers around Brendon's wrist and says, "Brendon," and pulls until Brendon takes a step forward, takes a step himself. He moves closer, drops Brendon's wrist and presses a hand into Brendon's hair to tilt his head up, leaning down to kiss him carefully.
Brendon's knees give a little, but Spencer catches him with a firm hand on his side.
"I want--" Spencer says. "Will you let me?"
Brendon nods and leans into Spencer's chest, leans up for another kiss.
"Tonight?" Spencer asks against his lips.
Brendon licks into his mouth slowly.
--
Haley comes home and piles her bags into Spencer's room.
"This isn't all going to fit into your suitcase," Spencer says, trailing after her.
--
Haley showers, Spencer finishes putting away the CDs, and Brendon eats left over chickpea salad, leaning over the sink.
"There's no point in me getting dressed, right?" Haley called from Spencer's room.
"That's a hint," Spencer says, waiting for Brendon to put the container back into the fridge before they walk to the bedroom together.
--
Spencer peels the plastic wrap off a new bottle of lube. Brendon pushes a pillow under his own hips and lies face down on the mattress, resting his cheek on his forearm. He can feel Spencer move on the bed behind him, crawling forward on his knees before settling and reaching for Brendon with slick fingers. Haley comes into sight after a few long moments, stretching out on the bed beside Brendon.
She holds her head up on her hand and faces him. "Does it hurt?" she whispers, even though Brendon's pretty sure that Spencer will still be able to hear her.
Spencer has slipped one finger inside and he's hardly moving.
"No," Brendon says.
"Spencer wanted to try," Haley says. "You know. With us. But--" She makes a little face.
"That's okay," Brendon says. He closes his eyes while Spencer pushes another finger inside. "You shouldn't-- anything you don't want." He opens his eyes and meets hers. She looks at him intently, frowning a little bit. "It doesn't hurt," he says again. "I promise."
He doesn't tell her that it can hurt, that it has hurt before.
Haley sweeps her hair away from her face then rests her hand on top of Brendon's. He rubs over her index finger with his thumb and concentrates hard on keeping his hips still. He wants to push back against Spencer's fingers, to rub forward against the pillow. He turns his hand palm-up and curls his fingers between Haley's.
Spencer isn't touching him anywhere except inside. He's still hardly moving his hand, but his fingers are curled a little bit and rubbing and Brendon shudders before he can help himself. Spencer keeps doing it, so Brendon thinks that maybe it's on purpose, even though he can't imagine how Spencer would know.
His grip tightens around Haley, and even though his palm is warm and wet now, she doesn't seem to mind.
"Is he doing it right?" she asks. "We looked online."
"Y-yeah," Brendon says. "He's doing it right."
Spencer pulls his fingers apart and there's a stretch and Brendon wants more. He rubs his cheek into the pillow and gasps, "Haley."
She pushes up and twists around. "Alright," she says to Spencer. "Get on with it, now. Geeze."
Spencer hesitates. "Maybe I should just--" He spreads his fingers again and moves slowly. "I don't know."
"I think he's ready," she says.
This is maybe a conversation that Brendon should be part of, but he just presses his forehead into the pillow and grins to himself.
Somewhere in there, there's a shuffle above him and Haley leaning over to pass something to Spencer before lying back down on the bed. Spencer's fingers move away. Brendon makes himself stay how he is, face turned towards Haley, instead of burrowing into the pillow like he wants. He almost worries that too much is going to show if he lets her see his face, but it's so far past too late for that, that he doesn't even bother trying to hide. He faces her and lets his eyes fall half-shut as Spencer leans over him and starts to push inside.
He goes slowly, so slowly, and it's almost too much already, almost more than Brendon can stand, and Haley sits up, saying, "Spencer, Spence, stop, I don't think--" so he has to release his bottom lip from between his teeth and grit out, "Doesn't hurt. It doesn't-- Fuck."
Spencer used a lot of lube with his fingers, even more on his cock, so it's an easy slide. He can tell that the effort behind Spencer's hips is coming from trying not to sink in, not from exerting enough pressure to push inside.
Haley looks back and forth between them and chews on her thumb.
"Come here," Brendon says, reaching for her until she lies back down. They share the same pillow, and he presses his forehead against hers and kisses her softly. Spencer pulls out a little bit, still just as carefully, before pressing forward again. Brendon thinks it should be easier to muffle the noise he makes against Haley's lips, but when she licks just the tip of her tongue over his bottom lip, his breath catches sharply. Spencer pushes inside again; he's using longer strokes now and Brendon arches into it. He aches into it and Spencer pushes in again and he's nudging Brendon forward into the pillow. Brendon's cock jerks. He can't breathe. He can't breathe and he opens his mouth and gasps raggedly, and Haley licks inside, sweeping over his tongue and licking up the sound, and then the next, when Spencer fucks in harder.
Spencer reaches his hands around Brendon's hips, and even though it means losing some of the glorious friction supplied by the pillow, Brendon pushes back into his hands. His hands. Spencer's hands. Spencer's hands and Spencer's fingers pressing into Brendon's skin, gripping firmly, and when he fucks in all the way, there's no pause before he pulls out again, pushes forward again. Just the steady roll of his hips, and Haley can't catch the noise Brendon makes, hoarse and raw in his throat. Spencer just fucks him harder.
Brendon told them that he's done this before, but Spencer's still being more careful than the guy Brendon lost his virginity to was. Spencer's fucking him smooth and steady, holding him, but not forcing him still.
Brendon spreads his legs wider and the angle changes. He exhales loudly. He's the only one making noise, but he didn't come, so he's not as embarrassed as he could be.
Spencer ducks his head down for a quick press of his lips to Brendon's back. His hands are tighter on Brendon's hips now, pulling him back when Spencer thrusts forward, and it's good. It's good and Brendon moves with him as best he can, but mostly just closes his eyes and tries to feel everything, everywhere.
Haley hasn't kissed him for a while. When he looks her way she's biting her lip and rubbing her hand between her legs.
"Shit," Brendon says softly, watching as she arches against her hand. "Shit," he says. "Spencer. Spencer, look."
"I know," Spencer says. His voice is rough like Brendon's never heard before and he shivers hard.
Brendon whimpers.
"You've got to," Spencer says. "You have to tell me--"
"Don't stop," Brendon gasps. "Spencer please."
Spencer's fucking him hard now, fucking him like he fucked Haley and Brendon pushes his hand into the pillow under his hips, curling it around his cock.
He should move the pillow, probably, but he can't stop. He can't move his hand away from his cock, can't move away from Spencer's cock, the slick sounds beside him as Haley touches herself. She's mostly quiet, but Brendon can feel her staring.
"Brendon," Spencer says, urgently, and Brendon comes.
He comes, hard, and it's a long time before his body stops shaking. Spencer fucks him through it before he jerks in hard, one last time and Haley gasps loudly, finally stilling beside him.
Brendon rubs his face into his arm and waits for feeling to return to all of his limbs.
Spencer flops down on top of him and Brendon groans under his weight.
"Baby," Spencer says, before rolling off of Brendon onto the bed.
Brendon takes one last deep breath before pushing off the mattress and reaching a hand out of grope for his clothes on the floor.
"Do you always wear clothes to sleep?" Spencer says.
"No," Brendon says.
"Then just leave it." Spencer crawls over the bed, fixing the pillows, pulling down the comforter. He lies down in the center of the bed, sprawling on his back bonelessly.
"Spence! You're taking up all the space," Haley says, poking at him. "Brendon!"
"You're taking up all the space," Brendon repeats, curling up around Spencer's side.
Haley reaches across Spencer's chest until she catches Brendon's shoulder, following down the path of his arm until she gets to his hand. She wraps their fingers together and makes a face at Brendon when Spencer makes a little snarfling noise.
"Hey," she whispers, leaning over conspiratorially. "I want to see you fuck him next."
"Okay," Brendon says as his eyes start to drift shut. "We should probably wait until he wakes up though."