Switch | Spencer/Brendon | ~7000 words | Set in the Tell Me to Stop world
Switch
Spencer/Brendon | NC-17 | 7000 words | Warnings for kink! Spanking, one of those rake thingers that Jen and I couldn't remember the name of, clothes pins. Sex. It's very NC-17.
Or: that one time Spencer figured out that he's a bit of a masochist.
By airgiodSLV & disarm_d
This takes place in Jen's Tell Me To Stop universe. We wrote this in January, I think. It hung out in my googledocs for a long time.
disarm_d: okay! Okay! How about the time that they try switching? Spencer's never let anyone top him like that before.
airgiodSLV: !!!
disarm_d: Brendon's probably done it both ways, but not for a verrrry long time
disarm_d: it comes up as a joke or something.
airgiodSLV: Yes. And it was probably just trying things out, feeling around, not all that earnest.
disarm_d: they're being all normal, and Brendon makes some kind of comment about how his back hurts or something, and Spencer calls him a baby, because he was using the soft flogger, and Brendon was asking for more anyway.
disarm_d: and Brendon says something about how it's not like Spencer would have been able to take even the soft one.
airgiodSLV: Oh man, yes.
airgiodSLV:Challenge issued! Even though he doesn't mean it.
airgiodSLV: Because he really is happy with the way things are, he doesn't want to change it. And he doesn't mean it as an insult, exactly, just a little ribbing.
disarm_d: he was just teasing. They tease each other a lot, when they're not 'teasing' each other.
airgiodSLV: Absolutely!
disarm_d: But, it totally gets Spencer thinking!
disarm_d: he'll sometimes try things out on himself, but not really. Like, dripping the wax on his inner arm first to check how hot it is, or something.
airgiodSLV: Yes! Yes yes yes! He's always careful, and he's protective enough of Brendon that he won't do anything new without testing to make sure it's not too much.
airgiodSLV: He would never do anything to Brendon that he couldn't handle himself, but it's still not the same; there's definitely a difference between 'testing out to make sure it won't cause permanent disfigurement' and actually letting someone do *that* Spencer's never ever done anything like that before, never wanted to, but.
They keep all of their toys in a box in the closet, and Brendon comes into the bedroom and finds Spencer staring at it. He walks up behind him and says, "What're you planning for me?"
Spencer startles, badly.
"What if it wasn't for you tonight?" Spencer asks, which throws Brendon completely through a loop. He blinks and tries to laugh it off, in case it's a joke. But Spencer is completely serious.
They sit down at the kitchen table and drink green tea and Spencer says that Brendon can't call him names-- including pet names-- and he can't do anything that will make Spencer too uncomfortable the next day, because Spencer has a long shift at work. Brendon says that Spencer isn't allowed to turn things around halfway through and that he's not allowed to get mad at Brendon if Brendon does something he doesn't like, and seriously, Spencer isn't going to get mad, right? This is the main concern from Brendon. Brendon's not so much worried about actually hurting Spencer, because he knows Spencer could stop him in an instant. He doesn't really believe that he'd be able to make Spencer go under at all
But it's kind of exciting, too, once he stops panicking and babbling internally, because Spencer. Under his control for once? It's...well, really hot. Brendon really likes trying out new things, he's all about the exploration. He likes to find out how things work, how they feel, but it's not worth messing everything up, so he needs to be sure. And he spends hours practicing, rehearsing what to do and how everything will go.
Once they've made their little contract, they go to separate parts of the house. Brendon goes into the bedroom where all of the toys are, and Spencer takes a bath, tries to relax, tries to get into a different mindset. The more he relaxes, the more nervous he gets, actually. Like, the further down his guard goes, the less self assured he feels. Which is...weird. That's not how he's used to approaching sex. He doesn't know how he's supposed to feel, exactly, or how Brendon gets into that blissfully relaxed state he always seems to be in. He's trying, but it's not working well, and he's kind of cranky about it. It's relaxing. How can he not be good at relaxing? He feels almost irritated at Brendon, in advance.
Meanwhile, Brendon is simultaneously totally freaking out and trying to calmly rehearse in the other room, because he can totally do this, he can.
Spencer sneaks over to the bedroom, even though Brendon's not actually ready to start yet, and pokes his head into the door.
"Brendon," he says. "Brendon, I thought of a few more things that I don't want to do."
Brendon looks up, and just holds Spencer gaze like he never usually does. "I'm not ready yet," Brendon says, and that's it. He just waits.
"Oh," Spencer says, and steps back, thrown. "Sorry."
Spencer paces around outside the door, and finally makes his way to the living room to sit on the couch. He wants to know what Brendon's doing inside the bedroom, and the more he thinks about it, the more nervous he gets. He's not so much worried about it hurting. It's more that he's worried about what Brendon's going to be like, if he's going to change and get mean or something. Spencer meant it when he said that he didn't want name calling. He hates that. Brendon getting away with calling him his bitch is testament to how much Brendon's got him wrapped around his little finger. If anyone else tried that, they'd have a black eye.
The waiting is killing him, so when Brendon finally calls for him, it's nothing but a relief, even though it means that things are finally going to start.
Brendon has totally found that place, that inner calm that means he can be in control without cracking, because it's not so different from what he does when it's the other way around, really. He's good at finding his zen, knowing exactly what's going to happen and what he needs to do. Brendon doesn't think of it so much as topping Spencer, so much as another way of giving him what he wants. Brendon likes doing that. Nothing's really changed, he's still here to please Spencer, he's just approaching it in a different way.
Spencer can sense that things are different, but it's still Brendon. He's seen Brendon like this before, it's just that there's a new feel to it as well, which leaves him anxious, but almost in a stomach-fluttery, nervous kind of way, because Brendon makes it look easy, but Spencer's never tried anything like this before.
Spencer decides, as he walks to the bedroom, that if Brendon makes him kneel on the floor and wait, he's just going to walk right out. He can't, he just knows it. But, when he walks inside, Brendon just meets him half way and helps him take off his clothes. He doesn't kiss him, isn't overly warm or anything, but he helps Spencer get naked, and that's immediately comforting.
Brendon probably doesn't even need to give orders. He has to stay in control, yes, but Spencer instinctively reacts to people challenging him, so the easiest way for this scene to play out would be just to do it, to keep going one step at a time without giving him any wiggle room or reason to fight back. As long as Brendon stays calm, keeps his voice even and explains what he's going to do, Spencer doesn't have much of a reason to push back. Spencer wouldn't like being told what to do, anyway.
Brendon gets Spencer all the way naked, and stays fully clothed. Spencer lets it slide, something he'd normally never do.
"Come to the bed, and put your hands down. Like this," Brendon says running his hand down Spencer's back and pushing lightly so that Spencer bends over. "You've got to hold still," Brendon says, "so if you can't, I'm going to tie you up."
Spencer doesn't really acknowledge him, but he doesn't roll his eyes, so that's good enough for Brendon. He's sticking to the happy medium, giving Spencer orders without being bossy enough that Spencer bristles, warning him that he's in control without forcing the issue by going with something like full bondage or making Spencer respond deferentially.
Brendon rubs his hand down Spencer's ass and says, "You want to pick a number?"
Spencer waits for a minute before shaking his head.
"You want to count?" Brendon asks, and Spencer shakes his head right away, this time.
Spencer is totally willing to take it, but it's one thing to agree and another thing to be...to act like that, to have to admit it out loud and hear himself. And he doesn't know how to judge things from this end, how to know what's enough or what's too much, or whether he's going to hate it no matter what. He's giving Brendon as much as he can, but it's still hard.
Brendon asks, "You want me to count for you?"
Spencer drops his head and rolls his neck and says, "I don't know. Can I-- Wait and see?"
"Yeah," Brendon says, and then, "here we go," and brings his hand down.
Spencer startles, because even thinking he's ready for it and knowing what's coming, it's still a surprise. He grits his teeth, though, because he's determined to do this, and he really does want to know how it feels. He wants to learn.
Brendon might not be all that forceful, but he's not exactly going easy on Spencer. He pauses at first, watching Spencer's reactions, but when Spencer doesn't fight or try to get away, he gradually eases into it and starts spanking in earnest.
Spencer's doing fine, starting to relax into it because that makes it easier to take, evaluating how he feels and what it's like, and the first time Brendon catches him right under the curve of his ass, on a spot he's already hit that still stings, he makes a noise completely involuntarily and startles himself. Brendon strokes over the skin quickly, roughly, and doesn't stop.
"Do you want me to count them off?" he asks again.
"No, just keep going," Spencer says. He's surprised by how hot his ass feels. It's not so much the impact of Brendon's hand coming down, because while it kind of stings, it also feels reasonably good. What's harder to take is the burn afterwards, when Brendon isn't touching him.
That starts him thinking about how he must look, because his skin feels like it's glowing, so he can only imagine how red he's turning, and he can feel himself flushing all the way through his cheeks and throat. He's glad he has his face down, because Brendon doesn't even seem to notice, just keeps spanking him in rhythm, sending heat all the way down his thighs and through his groin.
And then Brendon starts smacking him more lightly, barely leaving a sting, and it's more annoying than it is painful, these stupid silly little slaps that Brendon keeps landing all over his ass and thighs, so before he really realizes he's doing it, he pushes back and growls, and that's when Brendon spanks him so hard he gasps and jerks forward, because he hadn't been expecting that at all.
He catches himself before he actually loses his balance, and when Brendon sees that he's stable, he hits him again. Not as much as the other time, but hard still, so it's less of a smack and more of a thump. Spencer spreads his legs wider and digs his fingers into the mattress, bracing himself. He arches his back a little, even though he knows it makes him more exposed. He knows that he's naked and Brendon's watching him and that he's sweating a little, flushed all over. He knows what Brendon's ass looks like under his hand, and his skin is even more fair than Brendon's is, so he can imagine what his ass must look like. He doesn't care though. The burning is constant now, not just in the aftermath to the contact from Brendon's hand. It hurts all the time, but Spencer's still ready, each time Brendon's hand comes down again.
Spencer's actually getting turned on by it now, and he's leaning back into the blows a little, enjoying the feeling of being able to take it, growing more confident every time Brendon hits him, focusing less on the sting of the blows themselves and more on the dull fire all the way through his ass and thigh muscles.
"You're tiring my hand out," Brendon says, conversationally. "I didn't think you'd last this long." And Spencer's got just enough bite ready to challenge a little, daring Brendon to push him further, saying, "Anything you give, I can take." He feels almost invincible now, which is rationally pretty stupid, but he really is starting to feel good.
Brendon scratches his nails over Spencer's ass, hard, and says, "Hey now, none of that." The scratches almost make his skin feel cold for the short moment afterwards, like sharp and white, before they fade into the burn burn burn, just like everywhere else. He doesn't even know he's panting a little, isn't aware of it beyond the roar of blood in his ears and in his face.
Brendon runs his fingers lightly over the burn and says, "You're going to feel this tomorrow, I think. And you said you wanted to be able to sit down, so I think we have to do something else now."
Spencer swallows, but doesn't stand up right away. He hurts, but his body's all light and loose, and he kind of liked the way that it hurt when Brendon's hand came down.
Brendon smacks his ass lightly and says, "Up, up."
Spencer turns his head around and glares, because Brendon's disrupting the pleasant buzzing in his head.
Brendon's patient, but not all that patient. He runs his finger down between Spencer's cheeks, right in the middle of the burn, and rubs over that spot. Which makes Spencer stop breathing for just a second, because they've done that, but it's different like this, and he's not altogether sure how he feels about Brendon fingering him right now. But Brendon just drops his hand away and says, not in a mean way but definitely no-nonsense, "Come on."
Spencer stands, and blinks. He's unsteady on his feel, and grateful for Brendon's quick hand to his elbow. Normally, Spencer takes advantage of the difference in their heights, but right now he's slouched down to Brendon's level.
"You're hard!" Brendon blurts out, surprised right out of his no-nonsense tone for a minute.
And again, Spencer doesn't roll his eyes. Just shrugs.
It only takes a second for Brendon to blink and pull himself back together, though, because he's obviously doing something right if Spencer is getting off on it, and he wants to keep that going.
He's still kind of shocked, but if it's doing something for Spencer, he's not going to complain about it. He tilts Spencer's chin and gives him a kiss, because he always finds that reassuring during scenes, and Spencer was being good. He doesn't linger, though, because if Spencer really kisses him, Brendon is going to melt into a puddle and that would kind of suck for what they're trying to accomplish. Spencer doesn't push for more, either. He holds still when Brendon leans closer, but he doesn't crumble in, like how Brendon does sometimes. Spencer's face is lax, and he stares off somewhere else, or maybe nowhere at all, but he doesn't cling to Brendon, and he isn't begging.
Brendon wraps a hand around his erection and says, "You wanna come now?"
Spencer rolls his hips into the circle of Brendon's fist, but, after considering for a minute, says, "I want to try something else first."
Brendon gives a little squeeze, then pulls his hand away, looking around the room, considering.
He hadn't actually planned this far, because he'd thought Spencer wouldn't like the spanking, and if they even made it through that, it would be enough. He doesn't think Spencer would get off on anything actually submissive, but he seems to be doing well enough with pain, so Brendon tells him, "Go stand in the doorway."
Brendon isn't actually tall enough to make the spread-eagle-in-the-doorway position really work, at least not without having to balance on his toes (which is great for Spencer, but really frustrating for Brendon after the first five minutes). Spencer can actually do it, though, can stretch out and put himself on really nice display, and Brendon suddenly has a lot of skin he can touch. Brendon's already worked over Spencer's ass and thighs pretty well, so he strokes the smooth skin of Spencer's shoulders and considers.
Brendon gets the rake-thing and studies Spencer's back for a minute, enjoying the play of muscles because Spencer can't help it, if Brendon is going to hover around behind him not doing anything, he's going to tense, and then Brendon sets it into his shoulder and drags it down slowly, pressing just hard enough for it to bite into the skin and leave four rows of pink scratch-marks.
He gives Spencer a moment to figure out what he's doing. Spencer shifts a little, readjusting his stance and nods his head, not giving Brendon permission exactly, more like, 'yeah, I'm along for the ride.'
Brendon draws it down on the other side, and this time he digs in a little harder, enough that Spencer hisses a little through his teeth before pushing back into it deliberately. It's not a burn this time, it's colder, like Brendon's nails, and he can feel every individual line on his skin, dragging over his muscles.
Brendon does it again, and again, until he has four neat rows of lines and has pretty much covered all of Spencer's back, and then he pauses, waits for Spencer to breathe, "Yeah," before he goes back over the lines, drawing them out harder into thin welts and watching Spencer tense up under the prongs.
Brendon gets creative after that, making a grid, going from one side of Spencer's back to the other. Spencer is fine across the shoulders, and in the middle of his back, but when Brendon gets down near his waist and drags it across his side, he inhales hard because it tickles, but also hurts, and for some reason that combination is arousing as hell. Brendon experiments a little there, digging the points in and scratching across the more sensitive areas, and then leans down and licks across the darkest set of lines.
Spencer does tense when his tongue touches, goes stiff for a moment, before exhaling and relaxing.
Brendon can feel the way that the skin is raised under his tongue, hot and flushed with blood. He thinks that if he dragged the rake over again, if he pushed down hard, he could probably break the skin a little. He thinks that he could break the skin and that Spencer would probably let him, and he presses his head between Spencer's shoulder blades and takes a deep breath.
He switches to the clothespins instead, because he doesn't actually want to hurt Spencer, to let this get out of control. But before he does, he drags the rake up over Spencer's ass, which is still red, all the way from the soft crease underneath to Spencer's waist, and says, "Time to try something else."
Clothespins are the easiest clamps to use, but they're not adjustable, so they bite in and don't ease up once you let go. Brendon starts in the less sensitive areas, the ones he knows don't hurt as much; Spencer's forearm stretched over his head, his elbow, the thick muscle right behind his armpit. He doesn't leave the clothespin on anywhere yet, just gets Spencer used to the feeling of it tightening and pinching, the relief when it releases again. The longer you leave them on, the worse they get, so he waits until he finds the right spot, the soft flesh right over Spencer's hip, just on the edge of one of the scratches, and slowly releases the clothespin until he can let go and it hangs on its own.
Spencer can take the pain, he's enjoying processing it, actually, but while Brendon starts teasing him with the next one, pinching his skin in different places without actually clamping and leaving it, the first one is starting to hurt more, and it's driving Spencer crazy that he can't just reach down and slap it away, because he kind of really wants to. It hurts.
Brendon pinches skin between his fingers, then secures the second clothespin. Spencer notices how it doesn't hurt, doesn't hurt compared to the first one, which is starting to throb, and he concentrates on that, until that one starts to hurt, too. Brendon's working on a third one though, and Spencer tries to focus on that. On how it feels right when Brendon first releases it and it catches on his skin.
Brendon seems to be just feeling his way around and pinching them on where the thinks the skin will best take them. Spencer knows that he should appreciate that, but a part of his brain thinks about how it would be if they were in a line, it they were straight and even. Maybe up one side of his back and down the other.
Spencer loses himself for a minute or something because when he forces himself present again, Brendon's hands aren't on him any more, and Spencer's not sure what he's doing. Spencer isn't blindfolded, but he still doesn't turn his head around to try and see.
When Brendon flicks at the first one, all of the breath tears out of Spencer's throat in a low, low moan. Because Jesus Christ. He'd all but forgotten the first one, even though it's throbbing now, sharp and intense, and he's just inhaling to steady himself when Brendon flicks the one right below it, close enough that the nerves in the same area flare up and he doesn't mean to make any noises, he really doesn't, but everything hurts, everywhere, and all Brendon has to do is flick one with his fingernail to send little heatwaves all the way through Spencer's skin.
Brendon is watching carefully, gauging Spencer's reactions, and he thinks he's safe enough now, distracting Spencer with the ones down his hips and sides, to reach around and start teasing Spencer's nipple with a pin, nipping at it just enough to get it to tighten so he can clamp it.
Spencer wants to start swearing, because the others are vicious little thorns biting into his skin, but this one, when Brendon lets it go, feels like it's twisting and tugging, and now it hurts to inhale, because every time he does his chest feels like it's on fire. Brendon gives him a minute to adjust, stroking his side, and then twists it, and Spencer nearly bites his tongue when he starts cursing.
Brendon twists it and the pain goes sharp, down his sides, up his chest, through his fucking ribs somehow, and he can't breath except that he must be because he keeps swearing. He thinks that there's maybe a scream caught in the back of his throat that he's choking back. Brendon moves his other hand back, flicks the ones of his sides and hips, down in a row, one shocking flare after another.
Spencer clings to the door frame as much as he can, as the pain rises up in waves. He's dimly aware that his mouth is open (because he can't breathe) and he's pushing out sound every time he exhales, but he can't really hear it, he's too focused on Brendon's fingers and the fucking clamps that are beyond burning now, he doesn't think he can stand them much longer, but he's determined, so he just keeps holding on.
Brendon is fascinated by this, because is this how he reacts? It's such a powerful feeling, choosing what to touch and when, drawing out reactions. Spencer's skin has gone from red to almost purple, though, so he knows he needs to take the clamps off soon before Spencer goes out of his mind. Taking them off is the worst part, though, and he's not really sure how to communicate that to Spencer (Spencer already knows, Brendon realizes that, but he might not be immediately aware of it, considering), so he just uses the words Spencer uses for him, strokes Spencer's side right between the clothespins, and says, "Take a deep breath."
Spencer has about a second and a half to do so, expecting Brendon to go for the other nipple or to twist again, but instead he eases the first clamp off, and suddenly Spencer's skin is on fire. He can't breathe, he can't think, and somewhere in a very distant corner of his brain that's still taking all of this in, he thinks he might finally understand why Brendon begs.
He thinks, hurts, thinks, do I want to say something? Brendon's pulling them off, but he's taking his sweet time about it: flicking over them with his fingers first, tugging them off before he loosens the hinge all the way. Spencer can feel what he's doing, the way the pain of him playing around first is almost a tease for when he actually pulls them off completely, that movement when the blood rushes back. He thinks, Jesus fuck, then takes a breath and floats on top of the hurting. He imagines what his back must look like. The red on his ass is probably just starting to fade into a shy purple, the hint of bruising. The streaks down his back are probably still raised and vivid. The circles from the clothespins are doing something, because fuck fuck fuck.
Spencer catalogues his body, but from a distance. He holds himself as high as he can get with his hands on the frame, and says it out loud, "Fuck, fuck, fuck," as Brendon pulls another clothespin away and then rubs his thumb over the mark.
Brendon thinks that if their positions were reversed, Spencer would be talking to him now, murmuring encouragement and telling him how good he was doing. He thinks that if their positions were reversed, he would like that. He doesn't think that's what Spencer wants now.
He's focused now on getting it over with. Spencer has lasted this long, but Brendon doesn't want to push him. He works reasonably quickly, but he doesn't want to rip them all off, because then Spencer really would scream, and probably deck him. He's down to the last two when he pauses. He pulls the pin off of the back of Spencer's hip, the fleshy part right above his ass, then pinches the skin between his fingernails while he gets rid of the one on Spencer's chest, which has turned his nipple dark, wine-stain purple and is probably going to sting like a bitch. Brendon's been there, he can relate.
Spencer doesn't even realize it's over, because everything still hurts, his nerves still skin and it feels like the clamps are still on, just relaxed to a lesser degree of torment. It takes him a minute to figure it out, that Brendon's hands are rubbing over his sides, one resting still and calming over his stomach, which is just about the only place on his body that isn't burning right now. That knowledge helps him get through it, calm his breathing down until it's almost back to normal. Brendon hasn't said anything yet, waiting for him to come back to himself, just stays with him and waits until he does. Brendon's also not sure what exactly to do at this point, because aftercare with Spencer is bound to be a lot different than it is the other way around. He still hasn't gotten Spencer off, but he doesn't think Spencer would appreciate being taken care of the same way Brendon does, and he doesn't want to ruin this now.
Spencer takes a breath, and this time when he breathes out, his exhalation isn't just a whimper in disguise. He breathes again. Again. Opens his eyes and focuses on a spot on the floor.
He knows it's time to start thinking about taking his hands away from the door frame, but his fingers have locked into place, and that's how he's been supporting most of his weight. Brendon's right there behind him, but Spencer still doesn't want to let go until he knows he can stand on his own again.
He's savouring it too, maybe. There's nothing that's causing new pain right now, and even though his skin is scorched and throbbing all over, his head is clear. His body feel far away, anyway. He's body is far away and Brendon is right there, touching him still, not crowding, just a hand to his stomach. Still, Spencer's not exactly sure how close he wants him; he feels a little like he might like to just sit down and focus on how he feels, alone. But only sort of. Not enough to actually push Brendon away. Brendon's quiet, at least, which is mostly what Spencer wants.
He shuffles his feet inwards, lifts himself up on the balls of his feet, and somehow manages to pry his hands away from the door. It probably hurts, but not more than everything else, so it's nothing he notices. Brendon's hands are right there, but, as Spencer lets his arms drop down to his sides, he doesn't need them.
Brendon stops touching Spencer, although he doesn't move away, doesn't go anywhere. He's stuck now, past being in control but still wanting to give Spencer what he wants, only he's not getting any sort of feedback from Spencer, so he doesn't know what that is. Usually there are signals, Spencer either tells Brendon what he wants or makes him work to figure it out, but right now he's at a loss. He doesn't want Spencer to feel alone, but he also doesn't want to do the wrong thing, so he just holds still and opens and closes his hands at his sides once or twice, waiting.
Finally nerves get the better of him, and he can't keep not knowing, so he says, "Spence-r," - no pet names, he doesn't know if that counts - "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, 'm good," Spencer says. He's surprised at how his voice sounds, slow and slurred and thick. He doesn't feel like that. He feels sharp and aware and very-- Clear. He feels clear, and also like he never wants to put on clothes again, because fuck does his back ever burn. "'s good," Spencer tries again, but that one isn't any better, so he finishes with a, "don't want'a talk right now. Later."
Brendon nods, and his face is back to what Spencer knows, which is something that looks a lot like eager. It helps Spencer focus.
"You sho'ld get naked, too," Spencer says, then props himself gingerly up against the wall and watches as Brendon strips. There's something curling under Spencer's skin now, underneath the pain. He reaches down for his cock and strokes until he's hard again (which doesn't take long), careful of his movement because it hurts every time the skin pulls or stretches.
Brendon would have been content with a careful hug, earlier, but now Spencer's eyes have gone dark and he's touching himself, which has the perverse effect of making Brendon want desperately to do that for him, and he's completely okay with them switching back now, with the scene being over. He just wants Spencer, and his eyes keep darting to the hints of pink he can see at Spencer's waist, over his wrist to where the muscles in his forearm are flexing.
He's not completely sure whether he's supposed to still be in control or not, but the fact that he's waiting for Spencer to tell him what to do pretty much gives that one away. He wants to kneel, but he's still hesitant to do anything quite that subservient until he knows what Spencer wants, so he just licks his lips.
"What do you want?" Brendon asks, because hey, the direct approach definitely counts for something. And it's his signal to Spencer, in case he needs it; Brendon is relinquishing control.
"Don't think I want to try and leave my wall," Spencer says, and Brendon laughs. Spencer grins with his whole face, open and fucking blinding, and only quickly before he bites his lip after rubbing his thumb over the head of his cock.
"Okay," Brendon says, edging a little closer. It's stupid and maybe a little ridiculous, but Brendon is kind of a romantic, and at the moment all he can think is love, so he slides his hands up Spencer's sides, gentle over the skin he'd abused earlier, and offers himself up for a kiss.
Brendon bites Spencer's lip and says, "Want to fuck me?" and Spencer's cock jumps a little against Brendon's stomach.
"Want to go finger yourself so that I can watch from over here and not have to move?" Spencer says.
Brendon gives him the look again, accompanied with a slow sweep of his eyelashes. Spencer has time to think, ... what? and then he feels another hand curl around his cock.
"What if I just suck you off against the wall?" Brendon suggests, and his tone is light, but he's got a grip on Spencer's cock that isn't really messing around.
Spencer swallows, gets his voice back under control, and says, "Wouldn't you have to be on your knees?" Because fuck it, if Brendon is going to play, Spencer can too. And he knows he's just playing into Brendon's hand - literally - but when Brendon gives him that fucking look and slides down, hand on his cock sliding to the base for a good squeeze, Spencer decides he doesn't particularly care. Especially not when Brendon apparently decides to take him at his word, sliding his mouth far enough over Spencer's cock that he takes in one of his own fingers as well, and then reaches back and arches up and fuck, Spencer wishes he could see what Brendon was doing, even though he knows.
Spencer reaches both hands behind himself and presses them flat to the wall. He's hard, but not desperate, and he's happy to let Brendon work over him at his own pace. Spencer still aches and throbs, some places worse than others, but the pain is starting to feel like shards around the edge of his orgasm, creeping up slowly, another sensation on top of everything else.
Brendon moans around his cock and Spencer can see his arm twisting and flexing, even though he can't see where he's actually fingering himself open. He's seen it before though, he can imagine.
Brendon moans again, and the audio's nice. Spencer gives a little, 'hmmm,' which rumbles easily through his chest; Brendon makes a sound of agreement, and they're both being loud, trading wordless sounds back and forth. Spencer realizes that he's probably high as a kite on endorphins, but it's nice: being open, how easy everything feels right now. Brendon's mouth, especially, is nice. Hot, but not raw and burning like his back is hot. Brendon's mouth is wet.
Brendon is bobbing along at a steady pace, enjoying the sounds Spencer makes when he sucks just a little harder, when he runs his tongue along Spencer's cock. He paces himself by how he's going down on Spencer; fingers pushing in deep whenever he takes Spencer in until he nudges the back of Brendon's throat, twisting up and crooking inside whenever he does something with his tongue. His other hand is busy keeping Spencer's cock steady, which is frustrating him in a satisfying way, because he'd be jerking himself off right now if he could, but he can't, so he just has to keep going, moaning every time he manages to crook his fingers enough to feel really nice.
Eventually, though, he can tell Spencer's getting closer, and his own fingers just really, really aren't enough, so he pulls off, licks from base to tip, and says breathlessly, "Can I?" His voice is a complete wreck, throat already pleasantly sore, but he knows Spencer understands by the way his eyes slit open, looking down at him and measuring.
Spencer is feeling lazy, enjoying the ride. He reaches out with one hand, not answering Brendon in words, tangling his hand in Brendon's hair and tugging him back down on Spencer's cock.
Brendon makes a little disappointed humf, but he opens his mouth again when Spencer guides him down.
"You can use a dildo or something, later," Spencer says, his voice still thick, still a little far away.
He wouldn't mind watching Brendon fuck himself. He wouldn't mind watching Brendon do whatever the hell Brendon wanted to do. He just doesn't think he's up for a whole lot more participation than that. Somewhere in the future, he can see a slow journey over to the bathroom, because he hopes that a cool shower will sooth his skin, but that's about all the movement he can imagine. It's a new experience, having Brendon on his knees like this, doing exactly as he's asked, but without the accompanying urge to push Brendon, so see if he can get Brendon to give. It's easier to appreciate the view now, at least, and Spencer looks down at Brendon, mouth stretched wide and red, fondly.
Spencer is playing with his hair; not pulling or tangling, but curling it loosely around his fingers, and while Brendon really wants to get off, he thinks this is fine, too, at least for now. He still really wants to get Spencer off, so he sucks harder, working his hand a little to help give Spencer more friction.
Orgasm is a novel feeling like this, when it's not accompanied by any urgency, just the wet heat of Brendon's mouth providing contrast to the hot dry burn over therst of his skin, and Spencer tips his head back and closes his eyes when he comes, Brendon swallowing around him, his own mouth open and dragging in air.
Brendon's licking him clean, being a lot more patient than usual, and Spencer starts having fantasies about lukewarm baths where he doesn't have to do anything but float, only he can't decide whether his skin coming into contact with cold porcelain is a good idea or a bad one.
He slits his eyes open again when Brendon finishes, looks down and crooks a finger. Brendon scrambles up and Spencer presses the hinge of his jaw until it opens, licks inside Brendon's mouth and then eases away, satisfied. He thinks he'd like that shower now. Maybe some aloe.
Spencer looks at Brendon, who is still hard, probably still a little open from when he fingered himself, and thinks, I don't have to look after him right now, which is something that he's never thought before, in the entire time he's known Brendon.
"I'm going to shower," he says, leaning forward to press his forehead against Brendon's, then brushes the tips of their noses together. "Do you want to come with me, or do you have stuff to take care of?"
He doesn't have to take care of Brendon, but already his brain is starting to tune in again, to pay attention to the way that Brendon's holding his shoulders, the way his cock is shining wet over the head.
Brendon is torn, and he really wants to get off, but he also wants to take care of Spencer, or at least enjoy being with him. The idea of jerking himself, without Spencer even being in the same room, doesn't really hold as much appeal as usual. Besides, Spencer had said he could use a dildo later, and Brendon's an exhibitionist, not too far deep down. He's willing to wait for that.
"Shower," he says, and pecks Spencer on the lips again, because he can. Spencer is interesting like this, satisfied and lazy without the usual aura of calm Brendon is used to. He's still relaxed, just possibly more vague about it.
Spencer gives the distance to the bathroom door a good hard look before he decides to take the first step. His legs were less than reliable before, and now they're post-orgasm wobbly. Brendon is hovering, but Spencer can make it on his own. He just needs to think about it for a minute first.
"Okay," he says, and pushes off the wall.