anecdoche
Title: anecdoche
Pairing: hinted hyunsub (????is that what they're called????)
Rating: pg
Summary: everyone is talking, smiling - surrounding hyunsik with their joy while he melts into the background.
A/N: this didn't turn out how i wanted it to i'm sorry it's horrible
Everyone is talking, smiling - surrounding Hyunsik with their joy while he melts into the background, his quiet sorrow swallowing him with its wide jaws. He sits in the middle of his friends, who are so happy that they remind him of the pictures that he sees online sometimes; the ones with the crappy actors who smiled widely for the cameras with people they didn't know personally just to get a paycheck. Out of the corner of his eyes, Hyunsik sees Ilhoon do his 'cutie player' and fights the almost irrepressible urge to roll his eyes at the act. Instead, he feigns a smile, his eyes curling into the half crescent moons that he is so known for.
Hyunsik wants to flee from the chair he's resting in, the atmosphere much too suffocating for his liking. But he doesn't - he knows it would be suspicious if he suddenly bolted from the room. fortunately, his inner brooding doesn't show through his mask of bliss. Well, either that or the other members are too busy with each other to pay attention to his grief.
It's only when Sungjae tries to kiss Donggeun does he stand, uttering an offstandish "i'm going to go sleep" which isn't true because it's not nearly close to being dawn yet, but anything to get out of the room suffices. He doesn't notice that throughout the entire time he'd been sitting quietly with the group, Changsub had been stealing mildly concerned glances at him.
Perhaps, he thinks as he wiggles under the covers of his bed sheets without bothering to remove his clothes, someone will have noticed.
He lays in bed for a long while, staring at the white ceiling mindlessly. With every blink of his eyes, he can feel himself drifting off into the dark place one would call a dreamless sleep - his favorite place.
Just as he closes his eyes for the last time, the door opens and clicks shut, and his bed is dipping down under someone else's weight.
"Hyunsik," they whisper; the rough, sleepy voice is placed as Changsub's. He keeps his eyes closed, and Changsub continues. "Are you okay? I'm worried about you."
The younger fights the need to groan and roll so his back is facing his hyung. Instead, he pulls his covers closer to his body, trying to gain sleep.
"I know you're not paying attention to what i'm saying, but i just wanted you to know that i'm here to listen. Just for if- if you ever need that, okay?"
Hyunsik is almost shocked. Nevertheless, he blinks one eye open as if what the elder said hadn't affected him in the least bit and whispers in a feigned sleepy tone. "Thanks, hyung. I'm gonna go to sleep now."
Changsub stares at him for a moment, his expression blank, before he smiles sadly and nods his head, getting up to leave. When he's at the door, he turns back to the brunet as if in an afterthought.
"We all care about you, Hyunsik."
Then he leaves the room, and Hyunsik is left alone once more.
Perhaps, he thinks as he closes his eyes and drifts off, perhaps he means it.
For the first time in years, he dreams.