Beautiful Nightmare (5/?)
Title: Beautiful Nightmare
Pairing: Santana/Brittany
Rating: NC-17 (just to be safe)
Summary: Is Santana really worth chasing after? (Eventual Brittany/Santana, a bit of FaBerry on the side.)
Spoilers: Season 1, just to be safe.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, still!
5
Santana sat at the kitchen table nursing a cup of tea between her hands. She stared at the cup miserably as her thoughts from the day caught up with her. Quinn was right, she needed to sort herself out and make something happen with Brittany. The only problem she was having though was the thought of telling her parents. She wouldn't be able to keep it a secret from them, she couldn't... it wouldn't be fair on Brittany. She sighed heavily as she heard the front door to her house open.
Her mother walked in muttering something in Spanish under her breath. Santana took a deep breath as she stood up.
“Mom? I need to talk to you about something.” The older lady busied herself around the kitchen putting her shopping away.
“Right now Mija? Can it wait until later? Your father is on his way home and I haven't even started getting dinner ready yet.”
“Not really, it's sort of important.” Her voice wasn't as strong as she was hoping and her mother stopped to face her. She stepped forwards and inspected her daughter.
“Is everything okay?” Santana nodded and motioned for the older woman to sit down at the kitchen table, the brunette taking her seat from before, her cup of tea now cold and forgotten.
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.
“This doesn't have anything to do with Brittany does it?” Santana's eyes shot open and her jaw dropped slightly.
“The only reason I ask is because I haven't seen her around here for a while. I mean you two are practically inseparable. Did something happen between you two?”
Santana nodded softly and dropped her gaze to the table. Her mother reached across the table and grabbed her daughter's hand.
“Whatever it is you can tell me, I'll try and help you fix whatever it is that's happened with you two.”
Santana shook her head as tears began rolling down her cheeks.
She dragged a shaky hand through dark locks. “I don't think I can.” She looked up at her mother and smiled sadly.
“You'll hate me.” Her mother shook her head and reached forwards and cupped her daughter's cheek and smiled softly.
“Mija, I'm your mother. Nothing you ever do will make me hate you. You have and will continue to do stupid things in your life, but that's all part of that learning curve that comes with growing up. I could never ever hate you.”
The tears were constant now and Santana's whole body shook violently as she sobbed. Her mother quickly stood up and moved to cuddle her daughter and whispered comforting words to her.
“Mija... what has happened?”
“I'm in love with Brittany.”
Silence. Santana sat there in shock whilst she went over in her head just what she'd just said. She knew she had feelings for the blonde cheerleader but she wasn't exactly ready to just drop her own mother in it all like that. She felt her mother move backwards out of the embrace they had been sharing and look at her with wide eyes.
“You love her?” She near enough whispered.
Santana closed her eyes, images of Quinn being disowned by her parents flashing through her head. Quinn's sobbing voice explaining to everyone how her father had called her filth, a disgrace to her family. She thought about her own family doing the same, her father yelling at her and calling her a disappointment.
“I figured you liked her, but I didn't know you loved her.”
Wait, what?
Santana looked up with wide eyes at her mother who was sat there with a knowing smile on her face. She pulled her daughter into a hug again and chuckled softly in her ear.
“Mija, have you seen you two together?” Santana was still in shock as she listened to her mother's words.
After a few minutes, Santana had finally calmed down. She wiped at her eyes with her sleeve and sniffed.
“So are you two together?” Santana let out a bitter chuckle and shook her head.
“Nope. I acted like an idiot and now I don't even know if I have a chance with her.”
“What makes you say that?”
“I pretended to not be interested in her.” She resisted the urge to slam her head down on the table as even she couldn't believe what she'd done.
“I did it to protect her. I didn't want everyone at school giving her hell because of it. She couldn't take it.”
The older woman show her daughter a sympathetic smile.
“You should have more confidence Santana, your father and I raised you to be a strong woman.” She makes Santana look at her again.
Santana smiled at her mother.
She froze again slightly as she thought of her father again. “What's dad going to say?” Her mother chuckled as she squeezed her daughter one more time before getting up and making a start on dinner.
“Like I said, have you seen you two together? He'll probably just be glad he doesn't have to worry about you getting pregnant.” She laughed as Santana went bright red and groaned as she started to drag herself away from the table.
“Santana, just remember one thing-” Her mother was throwing various ingredients into a pot on the stove as the Latina looked up.
“Nothing that's worth having comes easy. Never forget that.”
There it was. There were no more reasons now, no more excuses.
Santana ran out of the room and grabbed her jacket from the closet before slamming the door and grabbing her keys.
“Where are you going?” Her mother came out of the kitchen holding a wooden spoon.
“I've got to go tell Brittany how I feel.” She opened the door and ran down the path towards her car.
“Save me some food! I'll warm it when I get back in!” She shouted up to her mother as she got in her car and shut the door.
“Mija! Not a late one please!” She yelled back as the car screeched off down the street. She shook her head with a small smile, barely noticing her husband walking up to her and kissing her on the cheek.
“Where's Santana off to in such a hurry?”
The older woman sighed softly. “She's finally following her heart.” Both parents grinned as the walked back into the house.
Brittany was lying on the couch when she heard a knock at the door. Her father walked through to answer.
“Oh, well long time no see.” The older man smiled warmly as he opened the door and ushered the guest inside. “Brittany, you have a guest.” She looked at the door as her father walked in to the room and gasped when she saw who was following him. She stood up immediately and came face to face with Santana.
Neither girls said anything for a few minutes, just staring at each other. Brittany's father stood there with a slightly confused smile on his face as he looked between the two girls. Eventually he rolled his eyes and walked out muttering something under his breath about not understanding girls.
Santana felt nerves flush through her as she looked at the blonde girl in front of her, her blue eyes burning into the Latina's brown ones. “I'm sorry.” Santana finally broke the silence. The blonde let her gaze drop to the floor as her friend spoke. She wanted to be with Santana so badly and she knew that deep down, Santana had some good intentions with her actions, but she wasn't going to just let her apologise and that was it. A soft hand cupped her chin lifted her head so the two girls locked eyes again. Brittany gasped as she stared into the Latina's dark eyes and saw something she rarely saw with Santana.
Desperation.
“I'm sorry.” She whispered again as tears started gathering in those same dark eyes. Brittany smiled softly and nodded.
“I know you are-” Santana shook her head interrupting her friend.
“No Brittany, listen. I wanted to protect you, make sure no one hurt you. I never thought I'd be the one doing the hurting though.” Brittany didn't say a word, what could she say? Watching her flirt and hook up with a random guys did hurt her.
“I'm scared B. I mean look at all the shit that Kurt gets, that Rachel and Quinn got. It scares the shit out of me.” She paused and took a deep breath, whilst grasping one of Brittany's hands between her own. “Thing is, I'm more scared of what might happen if I let you go, and lose you for good.” The blonde girl's heart was racing, she knew as soon as Santana came in that there would be loads of apologising and maybe, just maybe she'd come to her senses, but now as the inevitable was rapidly approaching, nerves completely overcame her and she started shaking slightly in anticipation. This was really happening.
“Santana-” The Latina shook her head again.
“Look, It's going to be hard, really fucking hard I know that. Thing is, I was told something today that really put things in perspective for me.” She leaned forward and rested her forehead against Brittany's and smiled.
“What if everyone starts saying things and it gets too much for you?” Brittany needed to make damn sure this was going to work. It hurt like hell when she was under the assumption that she wanted something she probably could never have the way she wanted it. That was probably nothing in comparison to the hurt she'd feel if she poured everything into a relationship, only for it to break down as soon as Santana got freaked.
“They can kiss my very amazing ass.” Brittany went to speak but Santana beat her to it again.
“Brit, I know I'm not being hugely convincing right now. Please just, give us a go-” Brittany raised her hand and placed a finger against the Latina's lips, effectively silencing her. Santana began to panic.
“Calm down. I was going to say, I think we should give this a go.” The other girl's eyes went wide before a grin broke out on her face.
Brittany chuckled and looked into the other girl's eyes. “Tell me this is really happening.” The dark skinned cheerleader laughed this time and nodded, a watery grin spread across her face. She opened her mouth to say something but closed it again straight after. Words really weren't needed right now.
She leaned forwards and pressed her lips softly against Brittany's, every bit of emotion and understanding poured into it. They both pulled back and were breathing heavily.
“I love you.” Santana whispered, tears now streaming freely down her cheeks, the emotion from the last few days catching up to her again.
“I know, it's obvious.” Santana raised an eyebrow and Brittany giggled. “Have you seen us together?” Santana's jaw dropped slightly.
“I'm having a total deja-vu moment.” Brittany was the one to raise an eyebrow in confusion this time. Santana just smiled again and pressed another kiss to her lips.
Brittany pulled Santana to her and held her tight. She rested her cheek against the top of the Latina's head and breathed in savouring the moment, still scared that at any moment she would suddenly wake up and still be lying on the couch watching crappy tv. Santana placed a kiss against the blonde's neck and Brittany grinned. She pulled back and held the other girl at arm's length, earning a confused look.
“I have one more favour... no, condition.” Brittany spoke suddenly and moved slightly so her eyes met her girlfriend's.
Her girlfriend. That had a nice ring to it.
The Latina smiled and nodded.
“You have to start being nice to Rachel.”
Santana groaned. “Why do I need to start being nice to that midget?” The blonde girl swatted Santana's arm gently.
“If it wasn't for her, we may not be here right now.”
“Woah woah woah, sweet child of mine. Repeat that last part for me?” Brittany smirked.
“I was really angry at you, really upset. I didn't want to talk to you, or see you. Rachel came to see me and managed to convince me that you're a good person deep down and that you were trying to look after me, basically everything you said. Which is sorta weird, maybe she's the one who's psychic, not Quinn.” She had her thinking face on whilst Santana's jaw still remained hanging open.
“She, huh?” Brittany giggled at Santana's face.
“She had a lot of nice things to say about you, even though you've been really mean to her since we were kids.” Santana seriously couldn't believe what she was hearing and was about to go into a tirade of reasons about why exactly this wasn't going to happen, when she looked into Brittany's eyes and saw the flicker of sadness in them.
“She's a really good person and she's had loads of bad stuff happen to her. I was just thinking, now you've decided you don't have to protect me so much, maybe you can protect her a bit now?”
“I don't know B...” Brittany jumped up and down.
“No no wait! It's fine we can make one of those list things!” Santana's eyebrow rose again.
“Yeah yeah! Those lists people use to make decisions and stuff!”
“A pro and con list?” The bubbly blonde nodded excitedly. “Seriously?”
“I'll start! Pro: She's really nice and kind!”
“Con: She's really loud and irritating.” The blonde girl frowned slightly.
“Pro: She's going out with Quinn!”
“Con: She's going out with Quinn.”
“Santana! Come on, please?”
Santana frowned and shook her head letting out an exasperated sigh.
“If I agree to this, can we start making out again?” The blonde girl giggled and pulled her girlfriend into her again.
Santana was totally whipped.
Pairing: Santana/Brittany
Rating: NC-17 (just to be safe)
Summary: Is Santana really worth chasing after? (Eventual Brittany/Santana, a bit of FaBerry on the side.)
Spoilers: Season 1, just to be safe.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, still!
5
Santana sat at the kitchen table nursing a cup of tea between her hands. She stared at the cup miserably as her thoughts from the day caught up with her. Quinn was right, she needed to sort herself out and make something happen with Brittany. The only problem she was having though was the thought of telling her parents. She wouldn't be able to keep it a secret from them, she couldn't... it wouldn't be fair on Brittany. She sighed heavily as she heard the front door to her house open.
Her mother walked in muttering something in Spanish under her breath. Santana took a deep breath as she stood up.
“Mom? I need to talk to you about something.” The older lady busied herself around the kitchen putting her shopping away.
“Right now Mija? Can it wait until later? Your father is on his way home and I haven't even started getting dinner ready yet.”
“Not really, it's sort of important.” Her voice wasn't as strong as she was hoping and her mother stopped to face her. She stepped forwards and inspected her daughter.
“Is everything okay?” Santana nodded and motioned for the older woman to sit down at the kitchen table, the brunette taking her seat from before, her cup of tea now cold and forgotten.
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.
“This doesn't have anything to do with Brittany does it?” Santana's eyes shot open and her jaw dropped slightly.
“The only reason I ask is because I haven't seen her around here for a while. I mean you two are practically inseparable. Did something happen between you two?”
Santana nodded softly and dropped her gaze to the table. Her mother reached across the table and grabbed her daughter's hand.
“Whatever it is you can tell me, I'll try and help you fix whatever it is that's happened with you two.”
Santana shook her head as tears began rolling down her cheeks.
She dragged a shaky hand through dark locks. “I don't think I can.” She looked up at her mother and smiled sadly.
“You'll hate me.” Her mother shook her head and reached forwards and cupped her daughter's cheek and smiled softly.
“Mija, I'm your mother. Nothing you ever do will make me hate you. You have and will continue to do stupid things in your life, but that's all part of that learning curve that comes with growing up. I could never ever hate you.”
The tears were constant now and Santana's whole body shook violently as she sobbed. Her mother quickly stood up and moved to cuddle her daughter and whispered comforting words to her.
“Mija... what has happened?”
“I'm in love with Brittany.”
Silence. Santana sat there in shock whilst she went over in her head just what she'd just said. She knew she had feelings for the blonde cheerleader but she wasn't exactly ready to just drop her own mother in it all like that. She felt her mother move backwards out of the embrace they had been sharing and look at her with wide eyes.
“You love her?” She near enough whispered.
Santana closed her eyes, images of Quinn being disowned by her parents flashing through her head. Quinn's sobbing voice explaining to everyone how her father had called her filth, a disgrace to her family. She thought about her own family doing the same, her father yelling at her and calling her a disappointment.
“I figured you liked her, but I didn't know you loved her.”
Wait, what?
Santana looked up with wide eyes at her mother who was sat there with a knowing smile on her face. She pulled her daughter into a hug again and chuckled softly in her ear.
“Mija, have you seen you two together?” Santana was still in shock as she listened to her mother's words.
After a few minutes, Santana had finally calmed down. She wiped at her eyes with her sleeve and sniffed.
“So are you two together?” Santana let out a bitter chuckle and shook her head.
“Nope. I acted like an idiot and now I don't even know if I have a chance with her.”
“What makes you say that?”
“I pretended to not be interested in her.” She resisted the urge to slam her head down on the table as even she couldn't believe what she'd done.
“I did it to protect her. I didn't want everyone at school giving her hell because of it. She couldn't take it.”
The older woman show her daughter a sympathetic smile.
“You should have more confidence Santana, your father and I raised you to be a strong woman.” She makes Santana look at her again.
Santana smiled at her mother.
She froze again slightly as she thought of her father again. “What's dad going to say?” Her mother chuckled as she squeezed her daughter one more time before getting up and making a start on dinner.
“Like I said, have you seen you two together? He'll probably just be glad he doesn't have to worry about you getting pregnant.” She laughed as Santana went bright red and groaned as she started to drag herself away from the table.
“Santana, just remember one thing-” Her mother was throwing various ingredients into a pot on the stove as the Latina looked up.
“Nothing that's worth having comes easy. Never forget that.”
There it was. There were no more reasons now, no more excuses.
Santana ran out of the room and grabbed her jacket from the closet before slamming the door and grabbing her keys.
“Where are you going?” Her mother came out of the kitchen holding a wooden spoon.
“I've got to go tell Brittany how I feel.” She opened the door and ran down the path towards her car.
“Save me some food! I'll warm it when I get back in!” She shouted up to her mother as she got in her car and shut the door.
“Mija! Not a late one please!” She yelled back as the car screeched off down the street. She shook her head with a small smile, barely noticing her husband walking up to her and kissing her on the cheek.
“Where's Santana off to in such a hurry?”
The older woman sighed softly. “She's finally following her heart.” Both parents grinned as the walked back into the house.
Brittany was lying on the couch when she heard a knock at the door. Her father walked through to answer.
“Oh, well long time no see.” The older man smiled warmly as he opened the door and ushered the guest inside. “Brittany, you have a guest.” She looked at the door as her father walked in to the room and gasped when she saw who was following him. She stood up immediately and came face to face with Santana.
Neither girls said anything for a few minutes, just staring at each other. Brittany's father stood there with a slightly confused smile on his face as he looked between the two girls. Eventually he rolled his eyes and walked out muttering something under his breath about not understanding girls.
Santana felt nerves flush through her as she looked at the blonde girl in front of her, her blue eyes burning into the Latina's brown ones. “I'm sorry.” Santana finally broke the silence. The blonde let her gaze drop to the floor as her friend spoke. She wanted to be with Santana so badly and she knew that deep down, Santana had some good intentions with her actions, but she wasn't going to just let her apologise and that was it. A soft hand cupped her chin lifted her head so the two girls locked eyes again. Brittany gasped as she stared into the Latina's dark eyes and saw something she rarely saw with Santana.
Desperation.
“I'm sorry.” She whispered again as tears started gathering in those same dark eyes. Brittany smiled softly and nodded.
“I know you are-” Santana shook her head interrupting her friend.
“No Brittany, listen. I wanted to protect you, make sure no one hurt you. I never thought I'd be the one doing the hurting though.” Brittany didn't say a word, what could she say? Watching her flirt and hook up with a random guys did hurt her.
“I'm scared B. I mean look at all the shit that Kurt gets, that Rachel and Quinn got. It scares the shit out of me.” She paused and took a deep breath, whilst grasping one of Brittany's hands between her own. “Thing is, I'm more scared of what might happen if I let you go, and lose you for good.” The blonde girl's heart was racing, she knew as soon as Santana came in that there would be loads of apologising and maybe, just maybe she'd come to her senses, but now as the inevitable was rapidly approaching, nerves completely overcame her and she started shaking slightly in anticipation. This was really happening.
“Santana-” The Latina shook her head again.
“Look, It's going to be hard, really fucking hard I know that. Thing is, I was told something today that really put things in perspective for me.” She leaned forward and rested her forehead against Brittany's and smiled.
“What if everyone starts saying things and it gets too much for you?” Brittany needed to make damn sure this was going to work. It hurt like hell when she was under the assumption that she wanted something she probably could never have the way she wanted it. That was probably nothing in comparison to the hurt she'd feel if she poured everything into a relationship, only for it to break down as soon as Santana got freaked.
“They can kiss my very amazing ass.” Brittany went to speak but Santana beat her to it again.
“Brit, I know I'm not being hugely convincing right now. Please just, give us a go-” Brittany raised her hand and placed a finger against the Latina's lips, effectively silencing her. Santana began to panic.
“Calm down. I was going to say, I think we should give this a go.” The other girl's eyes went wide before a grin broke out on her face.
Brittany chuckled and looked into the other girl's eyes. “Tell me this is really happening.” The dark skinned cheerleader laughed this time and nodded, a watery grin spread across her face. She opened her mouth to say something but closed it again straight after. Words really weren't needed right now.
She leaned forwards and pressed her lips softly against Brittany's, every bit of emotion and understanding poured into it. They both pulled back and were breathing heavily.
“I love you.” Santana whispered, tears now streaming freely down her cheeks, the emotion from the last few days catching up to her again.
“I know, it's obvious.” Santana raised an eyebrow and Brittany giggled. “Have you seen us together?” Santana's jaw dropped slightly.
“I'm having a total deja-vu moment.” Brittany was the one to raise an eyebrow in confusion this time. Santana just smiled again and pressed another kiss to her lips.
Brittany pulled Santana to her and held her tight. She rested her cheek against the top of the Latina's head and breathed in savouring the moment, still scared that at any moment she would suddenly wake up and still be lying on the couch watching crappy tv. Santana placed a kiss against the blonde's neck and Brittany grinned. She pulled back and held the other girl at arm's length, earning a confused look.
“I have one more favour... no, condition.” Brittany spoke suddenly and moved slightly so her eyes met her girlfriend's.
Her girlfriend. That had a nice ring to it.
The Latina smiled and nodded.
“You have to start being nice to Rachel.”
Santana groaned. “Why do I need to start being nice to that midget?” The blonde girl swatted Santana's arm gently.
“If it wasn't for her, we may not be here right now.”
“Woah woah woah, sweet child of mine. Repeat that last part for me?” Brittany smirked.
“I was really angry at you, really upset. I didn't want to talk to you, or see you. Rachel came to see me and managed to convince me that you're a good person deep down and that you were trying to look after me, basically everything you said. Which is sorta weird, maybe she's the one who's psychic, not Quinn.” She had her thinking face on whilst Santana's jaw still remained hanging open.
“She, huh?” Brittany giggled at Santana's face.
“She had a lot of nice things to say about you, even though you've been really mean to her since we were kids.” Santana seriously couldn't believe what she was hearing and was about to go into a tirade of reasons about why exactly this wasn't going to happen, when she looked into Brittany's eyes and saw the flicker of sadness in them.
“She's a really good person and she's had loads of bad stuff happen to her. I was just thinking, now you've decided you don't have to protect me so much, maybe you can protect her a bit now?”
“I don't know B...” Brittany jumped up and down.
“No no wait! It's fine we can make one of those list things!” Santana's eyebrow rose again.
“Yeah yeah! Those lists people use to make decisions and stuff!”
“A pro and con list?” The bubbly blonde nodded excitedly. “Seriously?”
“I'll start! Pro: She's really nice and kind!”
“Con: She's really loud and irritating.” The blonde girl frowned slightly.
“Pro: She's going out with Quinn!”
“Con: She's going out with Quinn.”
“Santana! Come on, please?”
Santana frowned and shook her head letting out an exasperated sigh.
“If I agree to this, can we start making out again?” The blonde girl giggled and pulled her girlfriend into her again.
Santana was totally whipped.