[SHINee] i could be your superstar
i could be your superstar | SHINee | junghee/minjung (girl!jongho) | pg-13 | 4400~
taemin thinks junghee is the korean rachel berry (except more obnoxious); minjung finds obnoxiousness endearing
for sarah because ENABLER and amber because everything i write is for her lbr
i could be your superstar
Everyone knows Junghee, even if it is not all for good reasons. Most people know Junghee because she is that bit loud and obnoxious, going down the halls in her slightly too tight t-shirts and her skinny jeans while she hums or sings something loud enough for people to hear. She is the lead singer of the glee club anyway, and some people think she probably lives her life as if she was in a running musical.
Some people know Junghee because they have been the opposite end of her blunt tongue, throwing out opinions and even insults without much thought or repercussions. She can't help it, she had tried to reason one day, the words just slip out of her mouth without any warning.
Minjung knows Junghee because the glee club has a terrible habit of practicing next to the study tables, where Minjung spends most of her after schools at, slogging through the same thick textbook as the previous day. She gets an hour, two tops, before the glee club shuffles into the empty space and belts out the latest pop tune, except with harmonization. She has tried to reasoned with Junghee once about rehearsing elsewhere, like in their designated choir room maybe, but Junghee insists that the space had better acoustics. Minjung had squint and glare at her but Junghee had completely ignored her annoyance and shuffled the glee club back into another number.
Minjung had returned to her table and drew stickman figurines of how she was going to end a certain Kim Junghee.
♯
"You know who Junghee reminds me of?" Taemin had piqued up one day, mouth half-full of meat. Minjung had cringed and waved at him to finish his food. Taemin chews slowly just to piss her off.
"Who?" Minjung inquires politely as she flips to the next page of the notebook next to her on the table.
"Rachel Berry."
Minjung raises an eyebrow at him in confusion, hand hovering over the page. She would rather review this chapter of History than listen to Taemin and his numerous pop culture references. Just last week, he had called one of Minjung's classmate, some girl named Jessica, a Manic Pixie Dream Girl, whatever that meant. Even after explanations and even clips from selected movies, Minjung had drew a blank and Taemin had to give up.
"You know, from Glee? That show where they sing and dance and there's high school drama?" Taemin drives on further. Minjung shakes her head. "Well, she is exactly like their lead actress."
"You know I don't care, right?" Minjung replies bluntly. Taemin snorts loudly as response and Minjung can't help but feel slightly affronted.
"Whatever," Taemin brushes her off, "go home and watch an episode or two and tell me Junghee is not the korean version of Rachel Berry."
"Junghee is not a fictional character, Taemin, none of us are."
Taemin frowns at her and tells her to go back to her stupid books.
♯
(Minjung does go home and watch Glee afterwards, and that Rachel Berry girl was an exact replica of Junghee, only nicer. Which probably wasn't a compliment because everyone found Rachel Berry annoying, Minjung just found her kind of obnoxiously adorable.)
♯
"She's totally channelling Rachel Berry," Taemin whispers into her ear the following week, when Junghee walks into school wearing a sweater that honestly was really ugly, this coming from Minjung, who didn't care about clothes or fashion. The sweater has little reindeers decorating the rim of it, and to make it worse, it was the middle of August, not near Christmas yet. Junghee wears it with one of her usual skinny jeans and Minjung has never really noticed what nice legs she has, despite her lack of height. She tears her gaze away to zone back into whatever Taemin is saying.
"I mean look at the sweater," Taemin insists and Minjung isn't about to admit that she had spent the last few nights marathoning every single episode of Glee instead of studying, so she just shrugs and demands Taemin google her something up. Taemin sighs at his choice of best friend before pulling out tumblr and a blog dedicated to the fashion of Rachel Berry.
♯
The first sign that it is a weird day is when Minjung gets wolf-whistled at walking down the corridor. Minjung is an attractive girl, tall with legs and the hints of curves clinching at her waist. But she has never gotten hit on in school, not in her plain shirts and loose jeans or her form-ruining dresses.
The second sign that it is a weird day is when Minjung sits in class and reaches into her bag to realize that she had left her textbook at home, right on her desk. She groans in frustration and has to focus twice as hard to take down notes, notes that she probably already has written into the margins of the words in her textbook.
The third sign that it is a weird day is when she finds a note on her table after break, with a single pink rose. The note itself is a pale yellow in colour, and scrawled on it is "Female washroom down the hall". Minjung blames her curiosity streak as she walks down the oddly empty hallway.
She doesn't know what she expects to find when she opens the door, but Kim Junghee sitting on one of the sinks, swinging her legs, is not one of them. Minjung starts to shut the door, but Junghee calls out to her. She stops the door mid-swing, and walks in resolutely, the door slamming shut behind her.
Her heart is slamming in her chest, because this feels oddly like a confession, except no one is supposed to know that she like girls. She is not ashamed of it, but she doesn't think it's anyone's business. Besides, everybody that knows her thinks she is dating Taemin and she believes in studies before dating.
"Is this a joke?" she blurts out before she can stop herself. Junghee jumps off the sink and walks towards her. Minjung finds herself rooted to the ground.
"I just wanted to ask you out," Junghee says nonchantly, and Minjung feels her eyes go wide.
There is an awkward silence that permeates the air, and Minjung shuffles on the spot, tip of her Converse scrapping through the tiles.
"I didn't know you like girls," Minjung finally settles on. Junghee laughs.
"I wasn't sure if you did," Junger replies, adverting the question back to her. Minjung shrugs as a response, and hopes Junghee understands what she means with that action.
"So, can I ask you out?" Junghee asks again and Minjung's foot pauses its awkward dance with the floor.
She should say no, because she can't stand Junghee and her glee club, yet she has never been asked out before (not by a girl), and the thought of going out with one is exciting to her, new and shiny, so Minjung allows herself to nod.
(She likes Junghee's legs at least, and going out with someone so loud means the presence of stilted conversation will probably not be as prevalent.)
Junghee smiles at her happily and they exchange numbers and Junghee promises to text her the location and to keep her Saturday free.
♯
"Do you think Junghee could you be - you know - lesbian?" Minjung asks Taemin on Wednesday, halfway through their weekly tutoring sessions, where Minjung goes through every lesson that Taemin has skipped for "reasons". Taemin looks up from his notes and tilts his head.
"Didn't you not care for Junghee?" Taemin asks instead of answering the question, and Minjung scowls at him. "Why do you care now?"
Minjung twirls her pen once, twice and then thrice in her hands, even as Taemin continues to look at her expectantly. "She kind of sort of maybe asked me out?" she blurts out eventually, and has to jam Taemin in the hand to remove the look of surprise from his face.
"She what?" Taemin articulates each word precisely. Minjung feels the start of a blush crawl up her cheek.
"Asked me out," she answers with more resolution, "she made me meet her at the washroom Monday afternoon and asked me out."
Taemin pursues his lips and assumes a position of thinking as Minjung returns to her textbook, highlighting a sentence on a new page. Taemin taps against her book after a few minutes.
"Have fun on the date," he seems to have settle on and Minjung snaps up.
"What made you think I agreed?"
Taemin rolls his eyes dramatically. "As if we would be having this conversation if you didn't. Now, tell me what Mrs. Kim went through in Chemistry."
Minjung resists the urge to drench Taemin with the cup of coffee next to her.
♯
Junghee texts her the location on Thursday night, and they ended up continuously texting each other until the day of the date itself. Minjung asks Junghee to stop bringing her glee club over to the area next to the study tables and disrupting her studying; Junghee tells her to go somewhere else, that it was Regionals in two weeks and she - they - couldn't fuck it up. Minjung had snorted at her phone in class and earned herself cleaning duties for the next week.
Minjung learns that Junghee really is as obnoxious as she portrays herself to be, frequently sending out four to five texts in a chain as she finds more things to add to her input; Junghee texts her about everything and nothing, telling her about how her voice sounded more hollow than usual or that she is having Japanese for dinner. Minjung usually replies with an okay or a haha cool, conversation enders, but Junghee finds some way to drag the conversation out so they can continue texting.
Junghee is also surprisingly insightful at times, even though most of it is lost under her incessant rambling. Minjung can't help but smile at the silly emoticons Junghee leaves in her texts or frown at the hints of self-doubts littered throughout through the use of question marks. She thinks that maybe Junghee wasn't as terrible a person as she thought she was.
(Besides, Minjung did like them obnoxious.)
♯
Minjung arrives fifteen minutes early for their date, sighing at her watch as she found a seat at the train station. She had wore one of her fancier casual dresses, not one of those plain dresses she sometimes wore to school, but one that was slightly tighter around her waist and flared out a little. Her hair was soft around her face and straight down the front of her chest.
"You're early," Junghee calls from behind five minutes later, Minjung spinning around too fast to greet her. Junghee wears as if she was going to school, but there's the trace of something that can only be eyeliner smudged under her eyes and the hint of gloss on her lips.
"So are you," Minjung throws back, and Junghee doesn't fight it like she thinks she would. Instead, she laughs nervously and nods.
"Didn't want to be late," she reasons.
"Yeah, me neither."
They walk in mutual silence to take the train to the mall a few stops away, Junghee's hand sometimes against Minjung's elbow when she is directing the latter to a specific destination. It is the furthest thing from intimate, but it still makes Minjung's heart skip a beat in nervousness.
Conversations don't come as easy when they are face to face, Minjung's lack of response translating to indifference in real life, but she does try, and when Minjung shares something with Junghee instead of only the latter speaking, Junghee smiles bright and easy at her.
Maybe it's kind of creepy, but Minjung spends a significant portion of the movie (some cheesy romantic comedy) observing Junghee instead of actually watching the screen. To be fair, Minjung has never been one for cheesy romances, and Junghee's face is more interesting than the movie itself. She laughs with the characters and her face falls when something bad happens. Junghee cringes when something embarrassing happens and cries even when The Misunderstanding happens and smiles also dreamily when the leads have their big moment of reconciliation.
Minjung finds it equal parts fascinating and endearing and when Junghee drones on about the movie afterwards while they are having dinner, she nods and agrees with everything, drinking in the delighted sound Junghee makes when Minjung agrees with any of her theories. Minjung also learns that Junghee has an aversion to rice (it's fattening she claims) but chomps down meat like a winner.
They end the day at the park, day giving way to night as stars come out to twinkle. It is quiet, families having left for home and only the stray passerby using the park as a shortcut home. Junghee sits on the bench and crosses her legs, while Minjung has to make do with crossing hers at the ankles.
"I had a nice day," Junghee starts, because she is the conversation starter between them. Her head is turned towards Minjung, waiting for a reply. Minjung nods in agreement.
Junghee shifts a little closer, turning her body so she can take Minjung's hand between her two. Minjung crooks an eyebrow as question.
"I really did. When I asked you out - no never mind that, I really enjoyed your company," Junghee finishes. This is the first time Minjung has seen Junghee anywhere near ineloquent, it is intriguing.
"I had a good time too, really," Minjung replies. Junghee smiles and when had her face been so close?
Junghee's face reaches even closer and something catches in Minjung's throat. She wants to kiss a girl, she really fucking does, but -
"I have to get home soon," she blurts out and something in her twists as Junghee pulls away, the start of pink across her cheeks.
♯
Sorry, Minjung texts Junghee that night.
You're silly, I had a good time, she gets as a reply, five minutes later.
♯
They slip into this stream of constant texting; nothing important or worth mentioning to anyone else, but sometimes the words hold that hint of flirtation, especially when Junghee texts Minjung about a dress she had wore to school and how the dress she had wore to their date had been much cuter, and how it was adorable she had obviously put in effort. Minjung had replied with a one word text containing the word lipgloss, effectively forcing Junghee to change the topic.
Minjung comes to see Junghee as a friend even if a relationship doesn't work out. It is easy to talk to her, and even though they haven't talked about anything very serious (maybe except for that discussion about Minjung and her need to win), Minjung feels like she could bring herself to
trust Junghee in the future.
"You should come to Regionals," Junghee decides halfway through one of their phone calls. Minjung is lying on her bed, staring up at the ceiling.
"Didn't the tickets sell out last week?" Minjung asks and honestly, she kind of wants to go. She has seen the glee club performed before in school, but never properly with all their costumes and at such a professional arena.
Junghee hums monotonously, a sound Minjung has come to like. "I could score you tickets. Just turn up, your name will be on the seat."
"I am excited to watch you perform," Minjung says honestly. There is a silence and then Junghee's laughter rings in her ear, flighty and possibly shaky.
"You're so silly."
♯
Minjung trips over someone's jeans as Taemin and her enter the party venue. Her fingers clenched tight around the edge of Taemin's jacket. Taemin laughs at her good-naturedly, and then chides her for being clumsy.
They are at a party organized by the glee club for pre-regionals and Junghee had invited Minjung, who had insisted that Taemin followed her because she refused to have to turn up alone amongst people that she didn't know.
Minjung picks up one of the many filled cups from the first table she sees, all filled with a black liquid that she identifies as Coca Cola. She takes a sip and there's something different about the taste of it, but she shrugs it off as just the warmness of it and the intimidation she felt in the air.
Taemin and her walk around and greet the minority of people they actually know, Minjung constantly gulping out of her cup. Taemin hasn't taken a drink yet, and they stop at the drink station for him to pour himself a cup of Sprite.
"Minjung, you came!" she hears Junghee call from behind her and she takes another sip out of her cup before she turns, world spinning along with her. That was weird. Taemin's grip on her arm turns firmer and he looks at her puzzledly. Minjung just shrugs and takes another gulp of her drink.
She feels loose and easy, so when Junghee comes close, she yanks her arm out of Taemin's grip and drapes herself on the other girl. Junghee's greeting dies in her throat and she instead wraps a tentative arm around Minjung. Minjung snuggles close, head buried into the crook of Junghee's neck. Lord, why was she so warm?
She feels more than see Taemin take the cup from her and take a sip. "There's whiskey in this," he sighs and Minjung thinks about how she had practically emptied the huge cup. She squeezes her eyes shut and when she opens them the room is spinning, and something lumps dangerously in her throat. She quickly pushes away from Junghee.
"I'm going to be sick," she announces, loudly, by the looks of the people who are relatively close to them. Before Taemin can support her, Junghee wraps a vice grip around her wrist and drags her to the bathroom of the house, and locks the door behind them.
Minjung feels pathetic and embarrassed as she throws up into the toilet bowl, Junghee holding her hair up and rubbing soothing circles into her back.
"You're okay, you're going to be okay," Junghee coos even as Minjung loses even more of her dinner, the whiskey sharp as it crawls back up her throat. She heaves once and wants to laugh at how disgusting she must seem now, so she does, laughing before more bile makes its way out of her body.
"You must think I am really pathetic now," she says in between gargles of tap water, sitting on the bathroom floor, legs pulled up close to her. Junghee sits next to her, legs sprawled on the floor and in the spaces between Minjung's ass and feet.
"All of us have our bad moments - besides, you didn't get drunk willingly," Junghee reasons with her. Minjung is still intoxicated, she knows, recognizes this feeling as the one she gets after a good many cups of wine with Taemin in the comfort of either of their houses.
So when Junghee stops talking and just breathes instead, Minjung can't seem to tear her gaze away from Junghee's lips and the way they are pursued in thought.
"You're staring at my lips like you want to - like you want to kiss me," Junghee says matter-of-factly, even though there is a current of tentativeness hidden in that small pause.
"What if I did? Kiss you, that is," Minjung asks, the alcohol destroying any filter that she might have. Her heart beats in her chest rapidly, but she doesn't think this is something she will regret come morning.
"Do you want to kiss me?" Junghee asks instead, and Minjung is frustrated at these pauses. So Minjung doesn't answer verbally and nods instead, and almost instantaneously there are lips pressed against her own.
Kissing, Minjung muses as Junghee becomes more daring and parts her lips, is wetter than she imagined it would be, and way more messier. It is also a little awkward because she doesn't know quite what to do with her tongue, or how to match the way Junghee's tongue was pressing against her lips. Teeth are also apparently a huge obstacle because they kept clashing against each other almost painfully.
Minjung nuzzles against Junghee's neck after a while, nose running against the soft skin behind Junghee's ear before they pull apart. Junghee's eyes are hazy but yet focused and Minjung inhales.
♯
If there is one thing Minjung is glad about the party, is that things don't turn weird afterwards. Junghee and her still text and talk, and the kiss is spoken of with laughter and also fondness.
Minjung is walking over to Junghee's classroom to return her an earring (that had fallen into her pocket during The Kiss) when she hears Gwiboon, cheerleader and also Junghee's best friend, shriek from the classroom. She pauses her steps, and rearranges herself so she is at the edge of the door. She knows this is eavesdropping, but she wants to know why Gwiboon had raised her voice at Junghee that way.
"You kissed her, Junghee. You fucking - " Gwiboon says loudly, and Minjung cringes inwardly. Was she that unappealing that Gwiboon was affronted at the idea of Junghee and her kissing?
"I know I did, I didn't - no I wanted to I know - " Junghee blabbers and Minjung is honestly confused at where the conversation was going to.
"When are you going to tell her that asking her out was a dare, Junghee? That I had pissed you enough for you to ask out that girl who studied everyday at the same bench." Gwiboon replies harshly.
Oh.
She must have made a sound, a loud gasp, a sigh, maybe slided her Converse across the floor and made a squeak, because Junghee looks up then and calls her name. Minjung turns to walk away, swallowing quickly because she didn't want to cry, not when their possible relationship, their kiss, their friendship had all been a fucking joke to Junghee. She shrugs hard when there is a hand on her shoulder.
"Minjung, I - "
"I don't want to speak to you. Not now, not ever," she bites back without turning back, and walks away quickly the same way.
♯
The glee club doesn't practice at the space next to the study tables the same afternoon. Taemin wonders out loud why and Minjung glares at him.
♯
There is an empty seat at the regionals with Choi Minjung scribbled on the paper pasted on it. The glee club gets through of course, especially when its lead singer, a certain Kim Junghee, has never sounded this emotional in a song before.
♯
It's two weeks after the truth had been illuminated before Gwiboon approaches Minjung at the start of her lunch break, standing in front of her desk, hands akimbo as she waited for everyone else to leave the classroom. Gwiboon can be intimidating when she wants to, so Minjung sits and stares at the speck of eraser dust on her table.
"Junghee really liked you," Gwiboon starts, relaxing her hands. She drags a chair from the seat beside and sits on it.
"But I heard what you said," Minjung reasons. Gwiboon stares at her and sighs.
"Yes, it might have been a dare at first, but Junghee really did like you. She wouldn't stop talking about you. As a best friend, I was getting annoyed."
"Then why isn't she here telling me that herself?"
Gwiboon sighs again, more dramatically this time. Minjung is getting kind of annoyed at her. "You've been avoiding her calls and her texts, haven't you? I am here because I got sick of the stupid love ballads she has been humming all week."
"Well, if she was sorry, ask her to prove it," Minjung snaps back, "excuse me, I have lunch to attend to."
Minjung walks out of class, hearing Gwiboon muttering under her breath about girls.
♯
There are pebbles being thrown against her window, that is the only reason for the little tapping sounds against her ear. Minjung groans and blinks am at the clock. It was eight in the morning on a Saturday, who was throwing pebbles at her window?
Minjung reaches blindly on the study chair for the shirt she had shrug out of the previous night, and puts it on. She rubs her eyes wearily and unlatches her window before opening it up.
It's Junghee. It's Junghee with Gwiboon standing a clear distance away from him, holding an iPod in her hands.
"It's eight in the morning," she shouts at them, turning back to go back to bed. Except before she can do that -
"I made it through the wilderness, somehow I MADE IT THROUGHHHHH."
What?
"Didn't know how lost I was until I found youuuuuu."
God, Minjung knows this song - Junghee couldn't be serenading her this song. It was probably inappropriate for apologizing to someone and god Minjung knows this song, Rachel Berry had sang it in that one episode of Glee. It was -
"Like a virgin, touched for the very first time. Like a virrrrrrrrgin when your heart beats next to mine."
Minjung can't help the laughter that bubbles out of her, and soon she is laughing loudly, fucking chuckling with her head out of her window early in the morning.
"Are you serious?" Minjung manages to verbalize and Junghee motions for Gwiboon to pause the iPod, and the music stops. The silence is awkward but fraught with tension.
"Am I forgiven?" Junghee asks loudly. Minjung can hear Gwiboon snort from all the way up at where she is, and she watches as Gwiboon waves good bye before walking away.
Minjung isn't quite sure whether she wants to forgive Junghee or not, but Junghee did serenade her on a Saturday morning (albeit with a very badly chosen song).
"Why don't you ring the doorbell and find out?" Minjung shouts back and closes the window. She is scrambling down the stairs when the music from the doorbell finds the house. She yanks the door open.
"Hello," she greets, flustered. Her hair is covering her chest because she hasn't had the time to wear a bra yet and sleep probably still rings around her eyes. Junghee was impeccably dressed of course, in another of her figure-hugging shirts and skinny jeans.
"Hello, is it me you're looking for?" Junghee sings and Minjung laughs again (or giggle really).
"This is not Glee, Junghee, we don't burst out in song."
Minjung leans forward and kisses Junghee.
- THIS IS ACTUALLY TERRIBLE
- So basically i was like "i want to write hs!jongho" and sarah was like "yes good" and i was like "i want to write lesbian!jongho so i can write jonghyun as rachel berry" and sarah was like "I NEED IT" so here we are
- THE ENDING I AM DEAD i just couldn't think of a song lord so this happened deal with it
- i am so done with myself; don't write shinee for a year come back with lesbian!jongho
- written while listening to ke$ha ft iggy pop's dirty love
taemin thinks junghee is the korean rachel berry (except more obnoxious); minjung finds obnoxiousness endearing
for sarah because ENABLER and amber because everything i write is for her lbr
i could be your superstar
Everyone knows Junghee, even if it is not all for good reasons. Most people know Junghee because she is that bit loud and obnoxious, going down the halls in her slightly too tight t-shirts and her skinny jeans while she hums or sings something loud enough for people to hear. She is the lead singer of the glee club anyway, and some people think she probably lives her life as if she was in a running musical.
Some people know Junghee because they have been the opposite end of her blunt tongue, throwing out opinions and even insults without much thought or repercussions. She can't help it, she had tried to reason one day, the words just slip out of her mouth without any warning.
Minjung knows Junghee because the glee club has a terrible habit of practicing next to the study tables, where Minjung spends most of her after schools at, slogging through the same thick textbook as the previous day. She gets an hour, two tops, before the glee club shuffles into the empty space and belts out the latest pop tune, except with harmonization. She has tried to reasoned with Junghee once about rehearsing elsewhere, like in their designated choir room maybe, but Junghee insists that the space had better acoustics. Minjung had squint and glare at her but Junghee had completely ignored her annoyance and shuffled the glee club back into another number.
Minjung had returned to her table and drew stickman figurines of how she was going to end a certain Kim Junghee.
♯
"You know who Junghee reminds me of?" Taemin had piqued up one day, mouth half-full of meat. Minjung had cringed and waved at him to finish his food. Taemin chews slowly just to piss her off.
"Who?" Minjung inquires politely as she flips to the next page of the notebook next to her on the table.
"Rachel Berry."
Minjung raises an eyebrow at him in confusion, hand hovering over the page. She would rather review this chapter of History than listen to Taemin and his numerous pop culture references. Just last week, he had called one of Minjung's classmate, some girl named Jessica, a Manic Pixie Dream Girl, whatever that meant. Even after explanations and even clips from selected movies, Minjung had drew a blank and Taemin had to give up.
"You know, from Glee? That show where they sing and dance and there's high school drama?" Taemin drives on further. Minjung shakes her head. "Well, she is exactly like their lead actress."
"You know I don't care, right?" Minjung replies bluntly. Taemin snorts loudly as response and Minjung can't help but feel slightly affronted.
"Whatever," Taemin brushes her off, "go home and watch an episode or two and tell me Junghee is not the korean version of Rachel Berry."
"Junghee is not a fictional character, Taemin, none of us are."
Taemin frowns at her and tells her to go back to her stupid books.
♯
(Minjung does go home and watch Glee afterwards, and that Rachel Berry girl was an exact replica of Junghee, only nicer. Which probably wasn't a compliment because everyone found Rachel Berry annoying, Minjung just found her kind of obnoxiously adorable.)
♯
"She's totally channelling Rachel Berry," Taemin whispers into her ear the following week, when Junghee walks into school wearing a sweater that honestly was really ugly, this coming from Minjung, who didn't care about clothes or fashion. The sweater has little reindeers decorating the rim of it, and to make it worse, it was the middle of August, not near Christmas yet. Junghee wears it with one of her usual skinny jeans and Minjung has never really noticed what nice legs she has, despite her lack of height. She tears her gaze away to zone back into whatever Taemin is saying.
"I mean look at the sweater," Taemin insists and Minjung isn't about to admit that she had spent the last few nights marathoning every single episode of Glee instead of studying, so she just shrugs and demands Taemin google her something up. Taemin sighs at his choice of best friend before pulling out tumblr and a blog dedicated to the fashion of Rachel Berry.
♯
The first sign that it is a weird day is when Minjung gets wolf-whistled at walking down the corridor. Minjung is an attractive girl, tall with legs and the hints of curves clinching at her waist. But she has never gotten hit on in school, not in her plain shirts and loose jeans or her form-ruining dresses.
The second sign that it is a weird day is when Minjung sits in class and reaches into her bag to realize that she had left her textbook at home, right on her desk. She groans in frustration and has to focus twice as hard to take down notes, notes that she probably already has written into the margins of the words in her textbook.
The third sign that it is a weird day is when she finds a note on her table after break, with a single pink rose. The note itself is a pale yellow in colour, and scrawled on it is "Female washroom down the hall". Minjung blames her curiosity streak as she walks down the oddly empty hallway.
She doesn't know what she expects to find when she opens the door, but Kim Junghee sitting on one of the sinks, swinging her legs, is not one of them. Minjung starts to shut the door, but Junghee calls out to her. She stops the door mid-swing, and walks in resolutely, the door slamming shut behind her.
Her heart is slamming in her chest, because this feels oddly like a confession, except no one is supposed to know that she like girls. She is not ashamed of it, but she doesn't think it's anyone's business. Besides, everybody that knows her thinks she is dating Taemin and she believes in studies before dating.
"Is this a joke?" she blurts out before she can stop herself. Junghee jumps off the sink and walks towards her. Minjung finds herself rooted to the ground.
"I just wanted to ask you out," Junghee says nonchantly, and Minjung feels her eyes go wide.
There is an awkward silence that permeates the air, and Minjung shuffles on the spot, tip of her Converse scrapping through the tiles.
"I didn't know you like girls," Minjung finally settles on. Junghee laughs.
"I wasn't sure if you did," Junger replies, adverting the question back to her. Minjung shrugs as a response, and hopes Junghee understands what she means with that action.
"So, can I ask you out?" Junghee asks again and Minjung's foot pauses its awkward dance with the floor.
She should say no, because she can't stand Junghee and her glee club, yet she has never been asked out before (not by a girl), and the thought of going out with one is exciting to her, new and shiny, so Minjung allows herself to nod.
(She likes Junghee's legs at least, and going out with someone so loud means the presence of stilted conversation will probably not be as prevalent.)
Junghee smiles at her happily and they exchange numbers and Junghee promises to text her the location and to keep her Saturday free.
♯
"Do you think Junghee could you be - you know - lesbian?" Minjung asks Taemin on Wednesday, halfway through their weekly tutoring sessions, where Minjung goes through every lesson that Taemin has skipped for "reasons". Taemin looks up from his notes and tilts his head.
"Didn't you not care for Junghee?" Taemin asks instead of answering the question, and Minjung scowls at him. "Why do you care now?"
Minjung twirls her pen once, twice and then thrice in her hands, even as Taemin continues to look at her expectantly. "She kind of sort of maybe asked me out?" she blurts out eventually, and has to jam Taemin in the hand to remove the look of surprise from his face.
"She what?" Taemin articulates each word precisely. Minjung feels the start of a blush crawl up her cheek.
"Asked me out," she answers with more resolution, "she made me meet her at the washroom Monday afternoon and asked me out."
Taemin pursues his lips and assumes a position of thinking as Minjung returns to her textbook, highlighting a sentence on a new page. Taemin taps against her book after a few minutes.
"Have fun on the date," he seems to have settle on and Minjung snaps up.
"What made you think I agreed?"
Taemin rolls his eyes dramatically. "As if we would be having this conversation if you didn't. Now, tell me what Mrs. Kim went through in Chemistry."
Minjung resists the urge to drench Taemin with the cup of coffee next to her.
♯
Junghee texts her the location on Thursday night, and they ended up continuously texting each other until the day of the date itself. Minjung asks Junghee to stop bringing her glee club over to the area next to the study tables and disrupting her studying; Junghee tells her to go somewhere else, that it was Regionals in two weeks and she - they - couldn't fuck it up. Minjung had snorted at her phone in class and earned herself cleaning duties for the next week.
Minjung learns that Junghee really is as obnoxious as she portrays herself to be, frequently sending out four to five texts in a chain as she finds more things to add to her input; Junghee texts her about everything and nothing, telling her about how her voice sounded more hollow than usual or that she is having Japanese for dinner. Minjung usually replies with an okay or a haha cool, conversation enders, but Junghee finds some way to drag the conversation out so they can continue texting.
Junghee is also surprisingly insightful at times, even though most of it is lost under her incessant rambling. Minjung can't help but smile at the silly emoticons Junghee leaves in her texts or frown at the hints of self-doubts littered throughout through the use of question marks. She thinks that maybe Junghee wasn't as terrible a person as she thought she was.
(Besides, Minjung did like them obnoxious.)
♯
Minjung arrives fifteen minutes early for their date, sighing at her watch as she found a seat at the train station. She had wore one of her fancier casual dresses, not one of those plain dresses she sometimes wore to school, but one that was slightly tighter around her waist and flared out a little. Her hair was soft around her face and straight down the front of her chest.
"You're early," Junghee calls from behind five minutes later, Minjung spinning around too fast to greet her. Junghee wears as if she was going to school, but there's the trace of something that can only be eyeliner smudged under her eyes and the hint of gloss on her lips.
"So are you," Minjung throws back, and Junghee doesn't fight it like she thinks she would. Instead, she laughs nervously and nods.
"Didn't want to be late," she reasons.
"Yeah, me neither."
They walk in mutual silence to take the train to the mall a few stops away, Junghee's hand sometimes against Minjung's elbow when she is directing the latter to a specific destination. It is the furthest thing from intimate, but it still makes Minjung's heart skip a beat in nervousness.
Conversations don't come as easy when they are face to face, Minjung's lack of response translating to indifference in real life, but she does try, and when Minjung shares something with Junghee instead of only the latter speaking, Junghee smiles bright and easy at her.
Maybe it's kind of creepy, but Minjung spends a significant portion of the movie (some cheesy romantic comedy) observing Junghee instead of actually watching the screen. To be fair, Minjung has never been one for cheesy romances, and Junghee's face is more interesting than the movie itself. She laughs with the characters and her face falls when something bad happens. Junghee cringes when something embarrassing happens and cries even when The Misunderstanding happens and smiles also dreamily when the leads have their big moment of reconciliation.
Minjung finds it equal parts fascinating and endearing and when Junghee drones on about the movie afterwards while they are having dinner, she nods and agrees with everything, drinking in the delighted sound Junghee makes when Minjung agrees with any of her theories. Minjung also learns that Junghee has an aversion to rice (it's fattening she claims) but chomps down meat like a winner.
They end the day at the park, day giving way to night as stars come out to twinkle. It is quiet, families having left for home and only the stray passerby using the park as a shortcut home. Junghee sits on the bench and crosses her legs, while Minjung has to make do with crossing hers at the ankles.
"I had a nice day," Junghee starts, because she is the conversation starter between them. Her head is turned towards Minjung, waiting for a reply. Minjung nods in agreement.
Junghee shifts a little closer, turning her body so she can take Minjung's hand between her two. Minjung crooks an eyebrow as question.
"I really did. When I asked you out - no never mind that, I really enjoyed your company," Junghee finishes. This is the first time Minjung has seen Junghee anywhere near ineloquent, it is intriguing.
"I had a good time too, really," Minjung replies. Junghee smiles and when had her face been so close?
Junghee's face reaches even closer and something catches in Minjung's throat. She wants to kiss a girl, she really fucking does, but -
"I have to get home soon," she blurts out and something in her twists as Junghee pulls away, the start of pink across her cheeks.
♯
Sorry, Minjung texts Junghee that night.
You're silly, I had a good time, she gets as a reply, five minutes later.
♯
They slip into this stream of constant texting; nothing important or worth mentioning to anyone else, but sometimes the words hold that hint of flirtation, especially when Junghee texts Minjung about a dress she had wore to school and how the dress she had wore to their date had been much cuter, and how it was adorable she had obviously put in effort. Minjung had replied with a one word text containing the word lipgloss, effectively forcing Junghee to change the topic.
Minjung comes to see Junghee as a friend even if a relationship doesn't work out. It is easy to talk to her, and even though they haven't talked about anything very serious (maybe except for that discussion about Minjung and her need to win), Minjung feels like she could bring herself to
trust Junghee in the future.
"You should come to Regionals," Junghee decides halfway through one of their phone calls. Minjung is lying on her bed, staring up at the ceiling.
"Didn't the tickets sell out last week?" Minjung asks and honestly, she kind of wants to go. She has seen the glee club performed before in school, but never properly with all their costumes and at such a professional arena.
Junghee hums monotonously, a sound Minjung has come to like. "I could score you tickets. Just turn up, your name will be on the seat."
"I am excited to watch you perform," Minjung says honestly. There is a silence and then Junghee's laughter rings in her ear, flighty and possibly shaky.
"You're so silly."
♯
Minjung trips over someone's jeans as Taemin and her enter the party venue. Her fingers clenched tight around the edge of Taemin's jacket. Taemin laughs at her good-naturedly, and then chides her for being clumsy.
They are at a party organized by the glee club for pre-regionals and Junghee had invited Minjung, who had insisted that Taemin followed her because she refused to have to turn up alone amongst people that she didn't know.
Minjung picks up one of the many filled cups from the first table she sees, all filled with a black liquid that she identifies as Coca Cola. She takes a sip and there's something different about the taste of it, but she shrugs it off as just the warmness of it and the intimidation she felt in the air.
Taemin and her walk around and greet the minority of people they actually know, Minjung constantly gulping out of her cup. Taemin hasn't taken a drink yet, and they stop at the drink station for him to pour himself a cup of Sprite.
"Minjung, you came!" she hears Junghee call from behind her and she takes another sip out of her cup before she turns, world spinning along with her. That was weird. Taemin's grip on her arm turns firmer and he looks at her puzzledly. Minjung just shrugs and takes another gulp of her drink.
She feels loose and easy, so when Junghee comes close, she yanks her arm out of Taemin's grip and drapes herself on the other girl. Junghee's greeting dies in her throat and she instead wraps a tentative arm around Minjung. Minjung snuggles close, head buried into the crook of Junghee's neck. Lord, why was she so warm?
She feels more than see Taemin take the cup from her and take a sip. "There's whiskey in this," he sighs and Minjung thinks about how she had practically emptied the huge cup. She squeezes her eyes shut and when she opens them the room is spinning, and something lumps dangerously in her throat. She quickly pushes away from Junghee.
"I'm going to be sick," she announces, loudly, by the looks of the people who are relatively close to them. Before Taemin can support her, Junghee wraps a vice grip around her wrist and drags her to the bathroom of the house, and locks the door behind them.
Minjung feels pathetic and embarrassed as she throws up into the toilet bowl, Junghee holding her hair up and rubbing soothing circles into her back.
"You're okay, you're going to be okay," Junghee coos even as Minjung loses even more of her dinner, the whiskey sharp as it crawls back up her throat. She heaves once and wants to laugh at how disgusting she must seem now, so she does, laughing before more bile makes its way out of her body.
"You must think I am really pathetic now," she says in between gargles of tap water, sitting on the bathroom floor, legs pulled up close to her. Junghee sits next to her, legs sprawled on the floor and in the spaces between Minjung's ass and feet.
"All of us have our bad moments - besides, you didn't get drunk willingly," Junghee reasons with her. Minjung is still intoxicated, she knows, recognizes this feeling as the one she gets after a good many cups of wine with Taemin in the comfort of either of their houses.
So when Junghee stops talking and just breathes instead, Minjung can't seem to tear her gaze away from Junghee's lips and the way they are pursued in thought.
"You're staring at my lips like you want to - like you want to kiss me," Junghee says matter-of-factly, even though there is a current of tentativeness hidden in that small pause.
"What if I did? Kiss you, that is," Minjung asks, the alcohol destroying any filter that she might have. Her heart beats in her chest rapidly, but she doesn't think this is something she will regret come morning.
"Do you want to kiss me?" Junghee asks instead, and Minjung is frustrated at these pauses. So Minjung doesn't answer verbally and nods instead, and almost instantaneously there are lips pressed against her own.
Kissing, Minjung muses as Junghee becomes more daring and parts her lips, is wetter than she imagined it would be, and way more messier. It is also a little awkward because she doesn't know quite what to do with her tongue, or how to match the way Junghee's tongue was pressing against her lips. Teeth are also apparently a huge obstacle because they kept clashing against each other almost painfully.
Minjung nuzzles against Junghee's neck after a while, nose running against the soft skin behind Junghee's ear before they pull apart. Junghee's eyes are hazy but yet focused and Minjung inhales.
♯
If there is one thing Minjung is glad about the party, is that things don't turn weird afterwards. Junghee and her still text and talk, and the kiss is spoken of with laughter and also fondness.
Minjung is walking over to Junghee's classroom to return her an earring (that had fallen into her pocket during The Kiss) when she hears Gwiboon, cheerleader and also Junghee's best friend, shriek from the classroom. She pauses her steps, and rearranges herself so she is at the edge of the door. She knows this is eavesdropping, but she wants to know why Gwiboon had raised her voice at Junghee that way.
"You kissed her, Junghee. You fucking - " Gwiboon says loudly, and Minjung cringes inwardly. Was she that unappealing that Gwiboon was affronted at the idea of Junghee and her kissing?
"I know I did, I didn't - no I wanted to I know - " Junghee blabbers and Minjung is honestly confused at where the conversation was going to.
"When are you going to tell her that asking her out was a dare, Junghee? That I had pissed you enough for you to ask out that girl who studied everyday at the same bench." Gwiboon replies harshly.
Oh.
She must have made a sound, a loud gasp, a sigh, maybe slided her Converse across the floor and made a squeak, because Junghee looks up then and calls her name. Minjung turns to walk away, swallowing quickly because she didn't want to cry, not when their possible relationship, their kiss, their friendship had all been a fucking joke to Junghee. She shrugs hard when there is a hand on her shoulder.
"Minjung, I - "
"I don't want to speak to you. Not now, not ever," she bites back without turning back, and walks away quickly the same way.
♯
The glee club doesn't practice at the space next to the study tables the same afternoon. Taemin wonders out loud why and Minjung glares at him.
♯
There is an empty seat at the regionals with Choi Minjung scribbled on the paper pasted on it. The glee club gets through of course, especially when its lead singer, a certain Kim Junghee, has never sounded this emotional in a song before.
♯
It's two weeks after the truth had been illuminated before Gwiboon approaches Minjung at the start of her lunch break, standing in front of her desk, hands akimbo as she waited for everyone else to leave the classroom. Gwiboon can be intimidating when she wants to, so Minjung sits and stares at the speck of eraser dust on her table.
"Junghee really liked you," Gwiboon starts, relaxing her hands. She drags a chair from the seat beside and sits on it.
"But I heard what you said," Minjung reasons. Gwiboon stares at her and sighs.
"Yes, it might have been a dare at first, but Junghee really did like you. She wouldn't stop talking about you. As a best friend, I was getting annoyed."
"Then why isn't she here telling me that herself?"
Gwiboon sighs again, more dramatically this time. Minjung is getting kind of annoyed at her. "You've been avoiding her calls and her texts, haven't you? I am here because I got sick of the stupid love ballads she has been humming all week."
"Well, if she was sorry, ask her to prove it," Minjung snaps back, "excuse me, I have lunch to attend to."
Minjung walks out of class, hearing Gwiboon muttering under her breath about girls.
♯
There are pebbles being thrown against her window, that is the only reason for the little tapping sounds against her ear. Minjung groans and blinks am at the clock. It was eight in the morning on a Saturday, who was throwing pebbles at her window?
Minjung reaches blindly on the study chair for the shirt she had shrug out of the previous night, and puts it on. She rubs her eyes wearily and unlatches her window before opening it up.
It's Junghee. It's Junghee with Gwiboon standing a clear distance away from him, holding an iPod in her hands.
"It's eight in the morning," she shouts at them, turning back to go back to bed. Except before she can do that -
"I made it through the wilderness, somehow I MADE IT THROUGHHHHH."
What?
"Didn't know how lost I was until I found youuuuuu."
God, Minjung knows this song - Junghee couldn't be serenading her this song. It was probably inappropriate for apologizing to someone and god Minjung knows this song, Rachel Berry had sang it in that one episode of Glee. It was -
"Like a virgin, touched for the very first time. Like a virrrrrrrrgin when your heart beats next to mine."
Minjung can't help the laughter that bubbles out of her, and soon she is laughing loudly, fucking chuckling with her head out of her window early in the morning.
"Are you serious?" Minjung manages to verbalize and Junghee motions for Gwiboon to pause the iPod, and the music stops. The silence is awkward but fraught with tension.
"Am I forgiven?" Junghee asks loudly. Minjung can hear Gwiboon snort from all the way up at where she is, and she watches as Gwiboon waves good bye before walking away.
Minjung isn't quite sure whether she wants to forgive Junghee or not, but Junghee did serenade her on a Saturday morning (albeit with a very badly chosen song).
"Why don't you ring the doorbell and find out?" Minjung shouts back and closes the window. She is scrambling down the stairs when the music from the doorbell finds the house. She yanks the door open.
"Hello," she greets, flustered. Her hair is covering her chest because she hasn't had the time to wear a bra yet and sleep probably still rings around her eyes. Junghee was impeccably dressed of course, in another of her figure-hugging shirts and skinny jeans.
"Hello, is it me you're looking for?" Junghee sings and Minjung laughs again (or giggle really).
"This is not Glee, Junghee, we don't burst out in song."
Minjung leans forward and kisses Junghee.
- THIS IS ACTUALLY TERRIBLE
- So basically i was like "i want to write hs!jongho" and sarah was like "yes good" and i was like "i want to write lesbian!jongho so i can write jonghyun as rachel berry" and sarah was like "I NEED IT" so here we are
- THE ENDING I AM DEAD i just couldn't think of a song lord so this happened deal with it
- i am so done with myself; don't write shinee for a year come back with lesbian!jongho
- written while listening to ke$ha ft iggy pop's dirty love