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Hark, I come bearing loggage! And lo! it has plot! Features Jocasta and Tonker out at a cafe, along with Nivin and Lofty. Craziness ensues.
Completed over the course of three days with lily22. It's 15 pages in Microsoft Word.
"So... do you see two girls in Assassin black?" said Tonker. Lofty shook her head. "Yes!" Tonker cheered, and made her way to one of the cafe tables, keeping a hold of Lofty's hand. "And you thought we were going to be late."
"What kind of a first impression would that be, to show up late?"
"Hey, someone's got to get here earlier than the other. Besides, it's only a few minutes. Assassins have got to be patient, right?"
Lofty shrugged. "I guess so."
And a few minutes wait later, two such girls in Assassins black entered. The paler of the two scanned the cafe before finally resting her gaze on Tonker and Lofty's table. She chanced a little wave. "Magda?"
Hi!" said Tonker, jumping up. She didn't let go of Lofty's hand, and Lofty had to follow. "You're Jocasta?" Tonker hazarded.
"Oh, yes." Jo smiled and extended a hand. "Hello! I hope we haven't kept you waiting long."
"Nope, not at all!" Tonker said, beaming. "I'm Ton-- Magda, and this is Lofty. I mean Tilda." With her free hand, Tonker took Jocasta's, and gave it a shake.
"Pleasure to meet you, finally," said Jocasta. "Dare I ask about the two names?" Almost immediately afterward, she started slightly and added, "Oh, I'm sorry." She indicated her friend. "This is-"
"Nivin al-Gebra," said Niv. "Wonderful to meet you, Magda and Tilda."
"Hi, Nivin!" said Tonker. "And two names. Ah, well, if you want you can call me Tonker and her Lofty. But the others at the University Look Down Upon it, so what can you do..."
"Well, I'll agree they're not particularly common names," said Jocasta, "but the University people look down on it? And shall we sit down, do you think?"
Tonker laughed. War nicknames tended to be anything but common. "Yeah, let's sit," said Tonker, who sat. Lofty followed, looking carefully down at the table. She'd let her hair grow out, unlike Tonker, who insisted on trimming hers. Now Lofty's hair fell in a sheet over her face, shielding her from view.
"But Mrs. Whitlow-- she's the housekeeper, you ever met her? She's strict, believe me-- doesn't like the idea of people running around shouting 'TONKER!', and she has to yell at me a lot."
"I can't say I've ever met her, but the reasoning does make sense, I suppose," said Jocasta, who slid into another seat at the table. "It's an... interesting nickname. I assume it's a nickname?"
"Yeah, it is. I got it in Borogravia and it kind of stuck." Tonker was surprised to find herself talking about Borogravia like a place she'd happened to visit once, but it wasn't a bad feeling, not at all.
"Borogravia?" said Nivin. "Did you hang out with a bit of a rough crowd? If you don't mind my asking. Since... well."
"Niv!" Jocasta dealt a light punch to her companion's shoulder. "What she means is... it's an interesting nickname. Er."
Tonker laughed again. Even Lofty giggled a little, and dared to look at Nivin and Jocasta before looking back down.
"Yeah, funny you should say that," said Tonker. "Long story short, Lofty and I were in the army. Only we were pretending to be male 'cos women in the army is an Abomination Unto Nuggan or something. We all had pretty weird nicknames. Wazzer, Shufti, Ozzer..."
"Oh," said Niv, which was about as close as the girl generally got to surprise. "'Tonker' doesn't seem so singular in comparison. Were you in the war a little back then?"
"... How do you get 'Tonker,' from Magda?" said Jocasta, who apparently had been puzzling over the question. It wasn't entirely clear whether it was addressed to herself or the world in general. "Because you have a T and an M, and there's no 'er' at the end of Magda... Unless it's a nickname for something you did, which, er..."
Tonker grinned. Fun as it would be to make something up about having done something to deserve the nickname 'Tonker', she did want to make a good impression. "Nah, nothing like that. But since we were pretending to be men and all, we couldn't exactly tell everybody our real names, could we? I was Thomas."
Jocasta breathed a short sigh of relief. She'd been contemplating possible reasons to warrant 'Tonker' as a nickname, and had been slightly afraid of the answer. "Right. That makes sense. Thank you. So then Lofty would have something like... Lawrence, say?"
Nivin sighed, although not in relief. "Terribly sorry, but Jo does things like this. A little weird, but you get used to her."
"No, she didn't really want to change her name." Tonker looked over and gave her a little poke. Lofty ducked her head. "People just called her Lofty because she didn't like to talk a lot." She shrugged at Nivin. "What's so weird?" Compared to some of the people Tonker knew, Jo was pretty normal.
"Odd questions," Niv replied. "And similar. And a tendency to make unrelated remarks. Oh, and a knack for getting into trouble. A big one." Jocasta shot her friend a mock glare and pointedly searched the table for untensils or condiment containers. "And she's rather fond of throwing things at people."
"No, just you."
"Oh. No problem about that, we get into trouble all the time!" Tonker looked around. "Let's get some coffee," she added.
Jocasta stretched up a bit in her chair, looking about the cafe. "Are there waiters here? Ah!" She flagged the sighted server down, and a few moments later the man had returned to their table, with menus. "What are you lot having?" she asked, browsing through it.
Tonker blinked. The subtle differences in flavor escaped her. "I dunno. Coffee, I guess. You?"
Jocasta stared at the menu for a little longer. And a little longer. And just a little longer. Finally, she shut the thing and said solemnly, "Coffee." She paused. "A cup. Of."
The waiter quirked an eyebrow, but dutifully wrote down the orders nonetheless. He turned a questioning gaze on the other two. "For you?"
"What she's having," said Nivin, jerking a thumb in Jocasta's direction.
"Lofty wants some coffee too. With milk," Tonker added helpfully.
"Right," said the waiter, who had stopped scribbling in 'coffee' after the second order and started using tally marks instead. "That's ... four coffees. With milk. On the side? Or in the coffee? One of the coffees."
"Make that two," Nivin cut in. "With milk."
"Right," said Tonker. "And have you got any sandwiches or something?" She looked at Lofty thoughtfully. "Actually, make that cookies. Have you got cookies? Biscuits, that kind of thing?"
"Er... yes. Sugar cookies. Do you want four orders of sugar cookies?"
"Sure," said Tonker. "Er..." she looked at Jocasta and Nivin. "Do you guys mind?"
"Oh, no, cookies, fine," Jo and Niv chorused.
The waiter scribbled this in. "Okay. Four coffees, two with milk, and four orders of sugar cookies. Yes?"
"Could I take the milk on the side?" Nivin asked.
"...Sure. Fine. Four coffees, two with milk, one on the side, and four sugar cookies?"
Tonker wondered if she should make things harder for the waiter, but in the end decided against it. "Sounds good to me," she said. She looked over at Lofty in case she had any objections, and gave her hand a little squeeze. Lofty leaned a bit closer.
"Right. Okay then. I'll just be a few minutes. Right." The waiter moved off.
Jocasta drummed idly on the table. "Well, this is interesting. Was anyone else aware there are that many kinds of coffee?"
"Yeah, I found out last time I came here," said Tonker. "They all seeemed to be named after places. Like 'Our Fine Klatchian Brew'. And then pages later it'll be 'Klatchian Express' or something. Not that giving us the place tells us a whole lot about how the coffee tastes."
"Maybe there's some specific taste for beans from a certain region that... experts know about?" Jocasta shrugged, then nudged Niv. "Know anything special about Klatchian coffee?"
"Beyond the fact that it's supposed to be wonderful for sobering you up? Not really."
"...What do you know about having to get sobered up?"
"Isn't all coffee supposed to sober you up?" said Tonker. She looked thoughtfully at the other coffee-drinkers. "That lady over there," she said in conspiratorial tones, "is definitely having a Genua. You can tell because she's drinking it so slowly. Burns through your tongue, Genua does, if you drink it too fast."
Said lady looked up to fix Tonker with a suspicious look. Tonker waved cheerfully. As did Jocasta. Coupled with a slightly manic grin. Nivin followed suit.
The lady's look, if possible, grew more suspicious. And a little more disturbed.
"I say, do we have any idea what the waiter's going to bring out? Since 'coffee's a rather general term," said Jocasta.
Tonker laughed out loud. It was so much more fun terrorizing old ladies when you had other people terrorizing right along with you. "I think the menu's just there to trick you, and it's all the same coffee," suggested Tonker. "Or maybe coffee from somewhere has got stuff added in it, but if you just say coffee they give you real coffee."
Now it was Jocasta's turn to lean in and speak in hushed tones. "Oh, yes, added stuff. Just makes you wonder what they add right?" She tried to wiggle her eyebrows suggestively, although this most likely gave the impression of some tic of the eye.
"I mean, so many people just love coffee," said Nivin. "I know some people that just can't get up in the morning without it."
"Suspicious."
"Very," said Tonker, leaning in as well. She didn't let go of Lofty's hand. "Maybe we should find out just want they put in this coffee..."
"And report it," said Jocasta. "To the Times.We could investigate." She grinned.
"Oh, see now? She's only met you for the first time and already we have crazy plots a-foot."
"This isn't crazy," declared Tonker. "This is a public service!" She paused and contrived to look innocent. The waiter was coming back.
"... Your coffees," he said. It wasn't every day he ended up serving a bunch of girls seemingly engaged in some secret meeting. Conspirators tended to congregate in bars, in his personal world-view, not sunny cafes.
He set the cups down on the table. "And milk. On the side. And cookies. Er... enjoy. Right."
"We will, thanks!" Tonker called after him. She grinned at the others. "Well? Do we follow him?" She hadn't had this much fun in ages.
"Certainly! But... discreetly." Jocasta was nearly rubbing her hands with glee, completely ignoring Nivin, who was quietly bring her face down to meet her palm. "We wait until he's not looking, and then... sneak into the kitchens after him!"
"I'm not too good at discreet," said Tonker, reflecting that two Assassins would probably be better at it than she would. "But if he catches us we can just say we, um..." Tonker looked down at the table. She took three sugar cookies from her plate and put them on Lofty's, and took a bit out of the last one. "We could always say I wanted more cookies," she said, voice slightly muffled.
"Ahah, yes! Genius, my friend, genius." The excited (and some would say not entirely sane) gleam had returned to Jocasta's eyes. She hadn't plotted something in ages. "But we should avoid being seen regardless. Then we can observe the cooking process undisturbed."
"Avoid being seen? While wearing black from head to toe?"
"Er... we could attack a chef?"
"If you're going to attack a chef, you might as well just question him about what he puts in this coffee." Tonker took an experimental sip. "Not bad stuff, actually."
"Exactly. It might be addictive," said Jocasta, who then proceeded to absently take a sip from her cup. "But I suppose we could ask. And then investigate if he's not too talkative."
"Right," said Tonker. She took another sip. "But it'd be a lot more interesting to... investigate."
"I vote interesting," Jocasta said. "I say, this really isn't bad coffee, is it?"
"Just don't get arrested, please," said Nivin, voice slightly muffled by the table. On account of her head being pressed to it.
"No, it's not. Must be the additives in it." She blinked at Nivin. "Er, say, is your friend okay?"
Without lifting her head from the table, Nivin flashed a thumbs up.
Tonker was really laughing too much today. She tried to still herself. "Good, good. Are we ready to go, then?"
"Quite," said Jocasta happily, beginning to rise from her seat. She slid back into it hastily as another one of the cafes waiters strode past, tray of hot drinks in hand. "Right."
Nivin lifted her head from the wood. "Seeing as nothing I say is go to dissuade you, let's see if I can just have you avoid getting caught. You want to get into the kitchens without being stopped?"
"Well, yes. That's the idea."
"Then you don't want employees peeking in on you, yes? Draw there attention."
"What with?"
Nivin waved a hand dismissively. "It's your plan."
"I'll do it!" Tonker volunteered cheerfully, jumping up. "I'll tell them this sugar cookie is stale.” She took aother bite of it and grimaced convincingly.
"Oh," said Jocasta. She frowned. "Thank you, but... are you sure?" It was quite inconceivable to the student Assassin that anyone would volunteer to miss out on the fun.
"Yup! I'll catch up with you after I send the guy off to get milk from a white cow at midnight under a full moon to make better cookies," Tonker said, winking.
"Sure thing," said Jocasta. "You and Lofty both? Or does she want to come with us?"
Tonker looked at Lofty, who was now staring fixedly at the rim of her cup. "Yeah, we're going to do this together," she declared.
"As you say," said Jocasta. "Just come along as soon as it's convenient."
"Right," said Nivin. "Follow the trail of outraged chefs."
"Let's go, Niv." Jocasta pushed her chair out and rose, then waited for Nivin to do the same. She did, after heaving a dramatic sigh. "Just let us get a few steps, and then... have fun."
Tonker finished the cookie. "This actually isn't bad," she said. "Uh, I mean, this is the WORST cookie I've ever tasted!" She stamped her feet and picked up another one.
Lofty waited until Jocasta and Nivin had gone before daring to look out from behind her protective curtain of hair. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" she asked.
"Well, no. But you gotta admit, it sure beats scrubbing pots."
Lofty thought for a moment. "Okay, then." she said, and stood up.
A few feet away, Jocasta and Nivin were visible threading their way through the various tables, and in one case, accidentally bumping into a chair and disturbing a young couple. Their progress appeared to lack any other significant obstacles until, near the back of the main room, the two student Assassins met a waitress, apparently heading out from the kitchen.
Tonker picked up plate and cookies, put a cup of coffee in Lofty's hands for good measure, and marched over. Lofty trailed after her like a bridesmade, still holding the coffee in both hands. Seeing that she wouldn't be able to hang on to Lofty's hands at the moment, Tonker shifted the plate of cookies so she could pick up one and start waving it about.
The cafe employee eyed the approaching girls suspiciously. They had the look of Obnoxious Customers Who Are Not Going to Shut Up. "Yes?"
"What do you call these?" Tonker yelled, drawing the attention of all patrons of the cafe. "I think I ordered sugar cookies! These are not sugar cookies! These are cardboard soles! They're completely stale! Look at this!"
Tonker shoved the cookie close to the employee's face so that there was no way said employee would be able to see what was happening without backing up several feet, and she broke the cookie from the position, spraying crumbs everywhere. "THIS IS A DISGRACE TO COOKIEDOM! I DEMAND BETTER!"
And under cover of the crumbs and, more importantly, Tonker's impassioned defense of the honor of all Cookiedom, Jo and Niv made there escape. After all, they weren't worth their seventh year student assassin salt if they couldn't slip out with that as a diversion. The two black clad figures crept off towards the nearby kitchen door.
The waitress was a little busy. She took a step back from the onslaught. "Those are cookies baked right to regulation, miss, just today. You won't find better."
"You're telling me these were baked today? You want me to believe these were baked today?" Tonker screeched.
"Wait. There are regulations?" She seemed to subside a little. "What kind of regulations?" She seemed almost calm, except that she was manically crushing the remains of the cookie in her fist.
The waitress panicked for, while she was fairly certain there were regulations, she was not familiar, as such, with them. In fact, she didn't so much know there were regulations as assume. She tried frantically to change the subject. "Ah... efficient ones. To ensure that ... all of our products are of the best quality." She hesitated. "... Have you tried the coffee?"
"THE COFFEE?" Tonker screeched. She threw the devasted cookie, which had been crumbled into a small ball of dough, to the ground with enough force to make it go SPLAT. "You call that coffee? I call it mud! It's worse than SCUMBO! Let me see that."
Lofty handed over the cup and took the dish, trying not to call attention to herself.
"This. Is not coffee," said Tonker. "Look." She brandished the cup in a similar manner to when she had thrust the cookie forward earlier, i.e., pushed the cup so close that the waitress's eyeballs could feel the heat through the cup. "Do you see that?" said Tonker. "DO YOU SEE THAT? It's got STUFF floating in it! STUFF! I'd rather drink from the Ankh!!"
The waitress stifled the urge to ask what scumbo was (the fact that her eyes feel like they were melting helped) and pointing out that one would only ever drink from the Ankh if one were suicidal. Instead, she backed up a few more steps and said, "Those are coffee grounds. They're... supposed to be there."
"Not those," said Tonker. She took the dish back from Lofty, leaving her trying to cup cookies in her arms, and poured the coffee into it, seemingly oblivious of how much it splattered.
"Look!" she declared, triumphantly, pushing it forward. She was running out of ideas, but at this point she was going on sheer adrenaline anyway. Besides, people complained about nothing all the time. She was just complaining about nothing and knowing it was nothing. "Look at this!" she waved the dish so that coffee flew, in case the waitress really was looking. "What kind of cafe is this anyway??"
The waitress looked, and frowned as the brown liquid hit her cheek. She wiped it off with sleeve of her uniform. "Please, miss, calm down. There's nothing there."
Tonker sighed, pulling the dish back. She was pretty sure Nivin and Jo had already made it. Good thing, too: she didn't know what else to complain about. "Some people just can't take constructive criticism," she muttered. She picked up a sugar cookie and took a big bite out of it as she and Lofty walked back to the table.
The waitress stared. Then she stared for a few more seconds. Then she curse, although under her breath, since she rather liked having a job. Muttering darkly about certain torments she would love to inflict upon certain customers, she headed back to the turn leading to the kitchen door.
Then she went to sleep.
"Yes, Jo, very elegant," said Nivin.
"It's not as if I was expecting this. I don't pack my entire dart collection on casual lunches. Now help me get the apron off. Quick, before someone comes."
Nivin bent. "And exactly what are you going to do with her for now?"
"... Er."
When everyone had stopped staring at them, Tonker and Lofty made their way as surreptiously as possible back to the kitchen. Maybe she shouldn't have made quite so much noice, Tonker mused, flashing a grin at the Genua-drinking old lady, whose frown deepened with suspicion for Young People as their gazes met.
Tonker slipped into the kitchen, holding up a fork in case her presence would have to be explained, or in case there were mad drug lords waiting in ambush. She thought she could make out the outline of people in the darkness... She stepped protectively in front of Lofty.
A whispered conversation could be heard. "We could drag her
into the bathroom?"
"Yes, right, and no one will notice us dragging an unconscious woman around."
"She took sick?"
"Oh, very funny, Jo - Magda?"
"What's this about dragging someone into the bathroom?" said Tonker, relaxing and putting the fork down.
"Ssshh," the figure that was now identified as Jocasta said. She indicated the fallen waitress. "We, er, needed a uniform." And, indeed, the woman's apron, jacket, and other official trappings were gone, leaving just a white shirt and a skirt.
"But now," said Nivin, who was hanging on to their acquired disguise, "the genius here can't figure out what to do with the body."
"She's not dead, Niv, you don't need to put it quite like that."
"Um," said Tonker. "If you wore the uniform, don't you think they'd notice that you weren't... well, you weren't her? It's not like you look like her or anything..."
"...Good point," said Jo. "Unless, um, they weren't really paying attention?"
"And were a few miles away?" Nivin added dryly. "And blind?"
Jocasta paused for a moment, apparently deep in then. Then she snapped her fingers. "You know what? Let's just sneak in there. If someone tries to catch us we'll just run before they do. I mean, we can escape a bunch of chefs, right?"
"Good plan!" said Tonker. "But what about, er, her?" She looked down at the waitress. "What did you do to her anyway?"
"Just hit her over the head," said Jocasta, grimacing. She produced a knife from one of the many pockets on her person and tapped the hilt meaningfully. "I'll admit it lacked style, sadly." She eyed the unconscious woman again. "Is there some corner here where the customers wouldn't see us? Like.. a big shelf, or a bar, or something?"
Tonker shrank slightly away from the knife.
"I guess if we prop her up against the wall and put something over her?" Tonker looked around. "Hey, here's some bags of coffee beans. Maybe we could push her behind them?"
Jocasta casually flipped the (sheathed) weapon into the air before finally noticing the other girl's discomfort and tactfully stowing it away again. "Sure, why not? It's convenient enough. Here, Magda, could you move one of them aside a bit? Niv, take her legs, please."
"Sure," said Tonker. "Lofty, give me a hand, will you? Coffee beans are a lot heavier than I thought they'd be." She tugged at her sack with some effort, while Lofty moved for the one next to hers.
"Umm..." said Lofty, causing Tonker to look up sharply. Tonker walked over to Lofty, wondering what could've happened to make Lofty say even that much. Maybe the bag was too heavy for her? Tonker grabbed the bag and heaved--
Tonker stumbled backwards. "Is this empty??" Tonker said, peering into the opening of the sack. "No, there's stuff in it... but it's not coffee..."
"Not coffee?" Jocasta seemed about to rush over, but then recalled exactly what she was carrying, and set the woman down gently. Slightly startled, Nivin nevertheless followed suit. "What do you mean, not coffee?" She leaned down to peek into the bag. "Oh. That sort of not coffee."
"What sort?" asked Niv, who didn't quite have enough room to push her head in.
"The sort that's white? And powdery?"
"Is it flour?" said Tonker, reaching in and, against all common sense, tasting a pinch. "Yuck, that's not--!"
"Hey, what's going on out there?" said a low and distinctly nearby voice. "Who's there?" There were footsteps.
Jocasta hissed something innapropriate under her breath. Nivin did the same, and, although the words sounded foreign, one could probably grasp the general gist.
"Quick," Jocasta whispered urgently. "Is there another way out?"
"Lofty and I came in the back," said Tonker, "Because everyone was staring at us. Over there!" Tonker pointed, then paused. "But what about the...?" She motioned to the sack of not-coffee-nor-flour.
Jocasta hesitated, but Nivin grabbed her friend's shoulder and ran. She gestured urgently with her free hand. "It's not important; we can worry about it later!"
"What do you mean 'later?'"
"Just go!"
Tonker realized that it'd probably be smarter to run. She threw the lip of the sack closed, grabbed Lofty's hand, and ran after Jocasta and Nivin. But she thought this was probably their only chance to do something about their drug, and now it was disappearing behind them...
Nivin threw the door open and pushed Jocasta out, ignoring her friend's quick protest. She held the door open for the other two. "Hurry! This is not going to look good if they find us..."
Tonker dove through, dragging Lofty after her. "But what about that powder?" she protested, although she was already running away from the door. "I feel sick."
Nivin shut it behind her, only remembering an instant before not to slam it. "Sick?" The girl opened her mouth to continue, then shut it when the sounds of movement became audible behind the closed door. Then there was a loud curse. Jocasta dodged around the corner of the building, and Nivin motioned for the others to do the same.
Tonker and Lofty followed. "Dizzy, sort of," said Tonker after a while, when her brain finally caught up to her ears and she realized Nivin had asked a question.
"Oh, gods," said Jocasta. "That wouldn't be poison, or anything, right?"
"I doubt it," said Nivin grimly. "Just something you don't want to be eating, is all. Look, can you get back to the University? Or should we take you back to the Guild?"
"Why?" Jocasta asked.
"I don't know. Do we know anyone who can take of this sort of thing?"
There now seemed to be some sort of argument going on behind the door.
"Never mind, let's just get out of here," Tonker yelled, giddy from the adrenaline. She ducked into a random alleyway and threaded through to the street on the other side. After running a few yards, she stopped short. "Did you just see that?" she said, pointing a finger at the ground. "There was this... spider-thing that just ran by! It was huge!"
"Did you see a spider-thing?" Jocasta asked.
"No," said Nivin flatly.
"Good, " said Jocasta. "Or bad. Depending. Oh, damn." She took off after Tonker. Niv started to follow, then turned to come back for Lofty; leaving the girl behind wouldn't feel right.
Meanwhile, Jo had stopped next to the apparently hallucinating Tonker. "Look, um, let's just get you home, okay?" She placed a tentative hand on the other girl's shoulder. "Remember, class," she muttered, "under no circumstances are you to taste any unknown substance."
"Okay, let's go," said Tonker cheerfully. "Wasn't that awesome, though? We found out that, that, that the coffee place was putting stuff in the coffee! We're like coppers!"
"Oh, yes," said Nivin, although it wasn't clear from her tone whether she thought this was a good thing or a bad thing. "Listen, Jo, how's the university going to react if she shows up like this? Do you want to take her back to the Guild? There's probably someone there who, I don't know, knows about chemicals?"
"Yes. Poisons."
"It's the best I can think of." Niv turned to Lofty. "Do you think the wizards at your university would be much help?"
"Poisons?" said Tonker, while Lofty shied away from Nivin. She thought about the Archhcancellor, who thought if you waited long enough all problems would probably go away, and shook her head. Maybe Ponder Stibbons, but...
"I don't think they'd be able to help," said Lofty quietly. "She's not... sick, is she?"
"'Course not, Lofty!" Tonker declared. "I feel better than ever! I feel like I could fly!"
"No, she's not sick," said Nivin, in the sort of amazingly calm voice that denoted a person under very tight control. She turned to Jocasta. "She says the wizards can't help. Let's take her back to the Guild."
"And say what?"
"I don't know! But I'm not just taking her home like this."
"I wouldn't either," said Jocasta. "Fine. Just... we can talk to someone. Someone can sort it out, right?"
"Wait, what?" said Tonker. "What's wrong with going back to the University? We have the rest of the day off until after dinner, but we should probably go back soon..." It suddenly occurred to her that she and Lofty were running around with two people they didn't even know, who happened to be training to be Assassins and also had randomly knocked out a waitress and not thought much about it. She stopped short, took Lofty's hand, and look at them suspiciously. "I think we should go back to the University now," she said. "I'm fine."
"Really?" Nivin raised an eyebrow. "No giant spiders?"
Jocasta elbowed the other girl. "Do you want us to walk you back?" she asked earnestly.
"Actually, now that you mention it," said Tonker, staring at the wall behind Nivin's head. "There's a... bigggg spider... Get ou to fthe way!"
Almost mechnically, Nivin spun around. And punched the wall. Jocasta bit her lip. "Er...do you want to come with us? We'll take care of any-" She glanced at Niv, who still had her hand against the wall. "Spiders," she finished lamely.
"Did you-- your hand just passed through--?" Tonker sputtered. Lofty looked on with concern. "This can't be real," said Tonker, staring at Nivin's hand, which was apparently sitting in the spider.
"Oh, damn," said Nivin flatly. She removed her hand and straightened. She stretched her palm out before Tonker. "Look. No guts."
Jocasta was beginning to look increasingly worried. She reached for Tonker's hand. "Let's, um, go back. There's no ... spiders there. Yes. Right. Um. This way."
"No guts," repeated Tonker in a dazed voice, allowing herself to be dragged a ways before noticing. "Argh!" she screamed. "What do you want! Lofty, they've got me, but you can still run!"
Lofty looked suitably horrified.
This was unnerving enough to make Jocasta drop the other girl's hand. Rooftops, drops, knives, various other perils of the night, and yes, cesspits, she could deal with, but this a bit much. That Nivin was ... well, a touch off would be the understatement of the century, wasn't helping matters at all. Jo drew instinctively closer to her classmate. "We don't want anything," she said as gently as possible. "You just need to... sit down for a bit. And, er, get some help." She paused, unsure of where to go from there. The truth seemed as good an option as any. "We're not really sure what you tasted, in there, but it wasn't good, I know that."
"But I feel fine," Tonker protested, standing by Lofty. "Just a bit nervous, that's all..."
Jocasta bit her lip again. What she wanted to do was pull out one of her knives and fiddle with it, because that would be relatively normal and familiar, but was bright enough to realize this would not be the most prudent move. "Er... you feel fine now, but, um, we should probably have someone check. Just to, um, make sure."
"We wouldn't want anything to happen to you, after all."
"Yeah, but I don't even know you," protested Tonker uneasily. She suddenly felt like she was forgetting something very, very important. She gripped Lofty's hand tightly.
"Maybe we should just listen to them," Lofty said, obviously worred about Tonker. "You are acting kind of... strange."
"Strange?" said Tonker. "I'm not acting strange! Am I?"
Yes! "Not as such," Jocasta said slowly. "Just... a little different. Look, we just want to take precautions. We're not going to do anything to you, on my honor."
"Which she takes very, very seriously," Nivin added dryly.
"So what do you want me to do, then?" said Tonker distractedly, staring at the rabbits who were walking in single file across the street. Odd...
"Just come with us back to the Guild." The relief in Jo's voice was evident. "We'll talk to one of the teachers, or something. It'll be as quick as possible, I promise. Everything will be fine." She wasn't quite sure whether the last bit was appropriate, but it had slipped out anyway.
A noise back at the cafe caused both student Assassins to start. "Okay, we should probably be leaving now," said Nivin.
"At least I agree with that," said Tonker, glancing back. When she looked again, the rabbits were gone. She stared at the road for another second, then shook her head. "Fine, let's go," she said.
"Thank you," said Jocasta, although she wasn't entirely sure whether she was speaking to Tonker or not. She took Tonker's hand. "This way..."
This is actually part of a larger planned plot- nothing particularly angsty, just slightly odd. It would be quite easy for The Times and/or the Watch to get mixed in, and it could conceivably include anyone else interested. And we'd, um, be happy if it did, if you take my meaning. For details, or other ideas (that'd be great!), you can, um, ping me. Contact info is here under litsares for anyone who doesn't know it.
Completed over the course of three days with lily22. It's 15 pages in Microsoft Word.
"So... do you see two girls in Assassin black?" said Tonker. Lofty shook her head. "Yes!" Tonker cheered, and made her way to one of the cafe tables, keeping a hold of Lofty's hand. "And you thought we were going to be late."
"What kind of a first impression would that be, to show up late?"
"Hey, someone's got to get here earlier than the other. Besides, it's only a few minutes. Assassins have got to be patient, right?"
Lofty shrugged. "I guess so."
And a few minutes wait later, two such girls in Assassins black entered. The paler of the two scanned the cafe before finally resting her gaze on Tonker and Lofty's table. She chanced a little wave. "Magda?"
Hi!" said Tonker, jumping up. She didn't let go of Lofty's hand, and Lofty had to follow. "You're Jocasta?" Tonker hazarded.
"Oh, yes." Jo smiled and extended a hand. "Hello! I hope we haven't kept you waiting long."
"Nope, not at all!" Tonker said, beaming. "I'm Ton-- Magda, and this is Lofty. I mean Tilda." With her free hand, Tonker took Jocasta's, and gave it a shake.
"Pleasure to meet you, finally," said Jocasta. "Dare I ask about the two names?" Almost immediately afterward, she started slightly and added, "Oh, I'm sorry." She indicated her friend. "This is-"
"Nivin al-Gebra," said Niv. "Wonderful to meet you, Magda and Tilda."
"Hi, Nivin!" said Tonker. "And two names. Ah, well, if you want you can call me Tonker and her Lofty. But the others at the University Look Down Upon it, so what can you do..."
"Well, I'll agree they're not particularly common names," said Jocasta, "but the University people look down on it? And shall we sit down, do you think?"
Tonker laughed. War nicknames tended to be anything but common. "Yeah, let's sit," said Tonker, who sat. Lofty followed, looking carefully down at the table. She'd let her hair grow out, unlike Tonker, who insisted on trimming hers. Now Lofty's hair fell in a sheet over her face, shielding her from view.
"But Mrs. Whitlow-- she's the housekeeper, you ever met her? She's strict, believe me-- doesn't like the idea of people running around shouting 'TONKER!', and she has to yell at me a lot."
"I can't say I've ever met her, but the reasoning does make sense, I suppose," said Jocasta, who slid into another seat at the table. "It's an... interesting nickname. I assume it's a nickname?"
"Yeah, it is. I got it in Borogravia and it kind of stuck." Tonker was surprised to find herself talking about Borogravia like a place she'd happened to visit once, but it wasn't a bad feeling, not at all.
"Borogravia?" said Nivin. "Did you hang out with a bit of a rough crowd? If you don't mind my asking. Since... well."
"Niv!" Jocasta dealt a light punch to her companion's shoulder. "What she means is... it's an interesting nickname. Er."
Tonker laughed again. Even Lofty giggled a little, and dared to look at Nivin and Jocasta before looking back down.
"Yeah, funny you should say that," said Tonker. "Long story short, Lofty and I were in the army. Only we were pretending to be male 'cos women in the army is an Abomination Unto Nuggan or something. We all had pretty weird nicknames. Wazzer, Shufti, Ozzer..."
"Oh," said Niv, which was about as close as the girl generally got to surprise. "'Tonker' doesn't seem so singular in comparison. Were you in the war a little back then?"
"... How do you get 'Tonker,' from Magda?" said Jocasta, who apparently had been puzzling over the question. It wasn't entirely clear whether it was addressed to herself or the world in general. "Because you have a T and an M, and there's no 'er' at the end of Magda... Unless it's a nickname for something you did, which, er..."
Tonker grinned. Fun as it would be to make something up about having done something to deserve the nickname 'Tonker', she did want to make a good impression. "Nah, nothing like that. But since we were pretending to be men and all, we couldn't exactly tell everybody our real names, could we? I was Thomas."
Jocasta breathed a short sigh of relief. She'd been contemplating possible reasons to warrant 'Tonker' as a nickname, and had been slightly afraid of the answer. "Right. That makes sense. Thank you. So then Lofty would have something like... Lawrence, say?"
Nivin sighed, although not in relief. "Terribly sorry, but Jo does things like this. A little weird, but you get used to her."
"No, she didn't really want to change her name." Tonker looked over and gave her a little poke. Lofty ducked her head. "People just called her Lofty because she didn't like to talk a lot." She shrugged at Nivin. "What's so weird?" Compared to some of the people Tonker knew, Jo was pretty normal.
"Odd questions," Niv replied. "And similar. And a tendency to make unrelated remarks. Oh, and a knack for getting into trouble. A big one." Jocasta shot her friend a mock glare and pointedly searched the table for untensils or condiment containers. "And she's rather fond of throwing things at people."
"No, just you."
"Oh. No problem about that, we get into trouble all the time!" Tonker looked around. "Let's get some coffee," she added.
Jocasta stretched up a bit in her chair, looking about the cafe. "Are there waiters here? Ah!" She flagged the sighted server down, and a few moments later the man had returned to their table, with menus. "What are you lot having?" she asked, browsing through it.
Tonker blinked. The subtle differences in flavor escaped her. "I dunno. Coffee, I guess. You?"
Jocasta stared at the menu for a little longer. And a little longer. And just a little longer. Finally, she shut the thing and said solemnly, "Coffee." She paused. "A cup. Of."
The waiter quirked an eyebrow, but dutifully wrote down the orders nonetheless. He turned a questioning gaze on the other two. "For you?"
"What she's having," said Nivin, jerking a thumb in Jocasta's direction.
"Lofty wants some coffee too. With milk," Tonker added helpfully.
"Right," said the waiter, who had stopped scribbling in 'coffee' after the second order and started using tally marks instead. "That's ... four coffees. With milk. On the side? Or in the coffee? One of the coffees."
"Make that two," Nivin cut in. "With milk."
"Right," said Tonker. "And have you got any sandwiches or something?" She looked at Lofty thoughtfully. "Actually, make that cookies. Have you got cookies? Biscuits, that kind of thing?"
"Er... yes. Sugar cookies. Do you want four orders of sugar cookies?"
"Sure," said Tonker. "Er..." she looked at Jocasta and Nivin. "Do you guys mind?"
"Oh, no, cookies, fine," Jo and Niv chorused.
The waiter scribbled this in. "Okay. Four coffees, two with milk, and four orders of sugar cookies. Yes?"
"Could I take the milk on the side?" Nivin asked.
"...Sure. Fine. Four coffees, two with milk, one on the side, and four sugar cookies?"
Tonker wondered if she should make things harder for the waiter, but in the end decided against it. "Sounds good to me," she said. She looked over at Lofty in case she had any objections, and gave her hand a little squeeze. Lofty leaned a bit closer.
"Right. Okay then. I'll just be a few minutes. Right." The waiter moved off.
Jocasta drummed idly on the table. "Well, this is interesting. Was anyone else aware there are that many kinds of coffee?"
"Yeah, I found out last time I came here," said Tonker. "They all seeemed to be named after places. Like 'Our Fine Klatchian Brew'. And then pages later it'll be 'Klatchian Express' or something. Not that giving us the place tells us a whole lot about how the coffee tastes."
"Maybe there's some specific taste for beans from a certain region that... experts know about?" Jocasta shrugged, then nudged Niv. "Know anything special about Klatchian coffee?"
"Beyond the fact that it's supposed to be wonderful for sobering you up? Not really."
"...What do you know about having to get sobered up?"
"Isn't all coffee supposed to sober you up?" said Tonker. She looked thoughtfully at the other coffee-drinkers. "That lady over there," she said in conspiratorial tones, "is definitely having a Genua. You can tell because she's drinking it so slowly. Burns through your tongue, Genua does, if you drink it too fast."
Said lady looked up to fix Tonker with a suspicious look. Tonker waved cheerfully. As did Jocasta. Coupled with a slightly manic grin. Nivin followed suit.
The lady's look, if possible, grew more suspicious. And a little more disturbed.
"I say, do we have any idea what the waiter's going to bring out? Since 'coffee's a rather general term," said Jocasta.
Tonker laughed out loud. It was so much more fun terrorizing old ladies when you had other people terrorizing right along with you. "I think the menu's just there to trick you, and it's all the same coffee," suggested Tonker. "Or maybe coffee from somewhere has got stuff added in it, but if you just say coffee they give you real coffee."
Now it was Jocasta's turn to lean in and speak in hushed tones. "Oh, yes, added stuff. Just makes you wonder what they add right?" She tried to wiggle her eyebrows suggestively, although this most likely gave the impression of some tic of the eye.
"I mean, so many people just love coffee," said Nivin. "I know some people that just can't get up in the morning without it."
"Suspicious."
"Very," said Tonker, leaning in as well. She didn't let go of Lofty's hand. "Maybe we should find out just want they put in this coffee..."
"And report it," said Jocasta. "To the Times.We could investigate." She grinned.
"Oh, see now? She's only met you for the first time and already we have crazy plots a-foot."
"This isn't crazy," declared Tonker. "This is a public service!" She paused and contrived to look innocent. The waiter was coming back.
"... Your coffees," he said. It wasn't every day he ended up serving a bunch of girls seemingly engaged in some secret meeting. Conspirators tended to congregate in bars, in his personal world-view, not sunny cafes.
He set the cups down on the table. "And milk. On the side. And cookies. Er... enjoy. Right."
"We will, thanks!" Tonker called after him. She grinned at the others. "Well? Do we follow him?" She hadn't had this much fun in ages.
"Certainly! But... discreetly." Jocasta was nearly rubbing her hands with glee, completely ignoring Nivin, who was quietly bring her face down to meet her palm. "We wait until he's not looking, and then... sneak into the kitchens after him!"
"I'm not too good at discreet," said Tonker, reflecting that two Assassins would probably be better at it than she would. "But if he catches us we can just say we, um..." Tonker looked down at the table. She took three sugar cookies from her plate and put them on Lofty's, and took a bit out of the last one. "We could always say I wanted more cookies," she said, voice slightly muffled.
"Ahah, yes! Genius, my friend, genius." The excited (and some would say not entirely sane) gleam had returned to Jocasta's eyes. She hadn't plotted something in ages. "But we should avoid being seen regardless. Then we can observe the cooking process undisturbed."
"Avoid being seen? While wearing black from head to toe?"
"Er... we could attack a chef?"
"If you're going to attack a chef, you might as well just question him about what he puts in this coffee." Tonker took an experimental sip. "Not bad stuff, actually."
"Exactly. It might be addictive," said Jocasta, who then proceeded to absently take a sip from her cup. "But I suppose we could ask. And then investigate if he's not too talkative."
"Right," said Tonker. She took another sip. "But it'd be a lot more interesting to... investigate."
"I vote interesting," Jocasta said. "I say, this really isn't bad coffee, is it?"
"Just don't get arrested, please," said Nivin, voice slightly muffled by the table. On account of her head being pressed to it.
"No, it's not. Must be the additives in it." She blinked at Nivin. "Er, say, is your friend okay?"
Without lifting her head from the table, Nivin flashed a thumbs up.
Tonker was really laughing too much today. She tried to still herself. "Good, good. Are we ready to go, then?"
"Quite," said Jocasta happily, beginning to rise from her seat. She slid back into it hastily as another one of the cafes waiters strode past, tray of hot drinks in hand. "Right."
Nivin lifted her head from the wood. "Seeing as nothing I say is go to dissuade you, let's see if I can just have you avoid getting caught. You want to get into the kitchens without being stopped?"
"Well, yes. That's the idea."
"Then you don't want employees peeking in on you, yes? Draw there attention."
"What with?"
Nivin waved a hand dismissively. "It's your plan."
"I'll do it!" Tonker volunteered cheerfully, jumping up. "I'll tell them this sugar cookie is stale.” She took aother bite of it and grimaced convincingly.
"Oh," said Jocasta. She frowned. "Thank you, but... are you sure?" It was quite inconceivable to the student Assassin that anyone would volunteer to miss out on the fun.
"Yup! I'll catch up with you after I send the guy off to get milk from a white cow at midnight under a full moon to make better cookies," Tonker said, winking.
"Sure thing," said Jocasta. "You and Lofty both? Or does she want to come with us?"
Tonker looked at Lofty, who was now staring fixedly at the rim of her cup. "Yeah, we're going to do this together," she declared.
"As you say," said Jocasta. "Just come along as soon as it's convenient."
"Right," said Nivin. "Follow the trail of outraged chefs."
"Let's go, Niv." Jocasta pushed her chair out and rose, then waited for Nivin to do the same. She did, after heaving a dramatic sigh. "Just let us get a few steps, and then... have fun."
Tonker finished the cookie. "This actually isn't bad," she said. "Uh, I mean, this is the WORST cookie I've ever tasted!" She stamped her feet and picked up another one.
Lofty waited until Jocasta and Nivin had gone before daring to look out from behind her protective curtain of hair. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" she asked.
"Well, no. But you gotta admit, it sure beats scrubbing pots."
Lofty thought for a moment. "Okay, then." she said, and stood up.
A few feet away, Jocasta and Nivin were visible threading their way through the various tables, and in one case, accidentally bumping into a chair and disturbing a young couple. Their progress appeared to lack any other significant obstacles until, near the back of the main room, the two student Assassins met a waitress, apparently heading out from the kitchen.
Tonker picked up plate and cookies, put a cup of coffee in Lofty's hands for good measure, and marched over. Lofty trailed after her like a bridesmade, still holding the coffee in both hands. Seeing that she wouldn't be able to hang on to Lofty's hands at the moment, Tonker shifted the plate of cookies so she could pick up one and start waving it about.
The cafe employee eyed the approaching girls suspiciously. They had the look of Obnoxious Customers Who Are Not Going to Shut Up. "Yes?"
"What do you call these?" Tonker yelled, drawing the attention of all patrons of the cafe. "I think I ordered sugar cookies! These are not sugar cookies! These are cardboard soles! They're completely stale! Look at this!"
Tonker shoved the cookie close to the employee's face so that there was no way said employee would be able to see what was happening without backing up several feet, and she broke the cookie from the position, spraying crumbs everywhere. "THIS IS A DISGRACE TO COOKIEDOM! I DEMAND BETTER!"
And under cover of the crumbs and, more importantly, Tonker's impassioned defense of the honor of all Cookiedom, Jo and Niv made there escape. After all, they weren't worth their seventh year student assassin salt if they couldn't slip out with that as a diversion. The two black clad figures crept off towards the nearby kitchen door.
The waitress was a little busy. She took a step back from the onslaught. "Those are cookies baked right to regulation, miss, just today. You won't find better."
"You're telling me these were baked today? You want me to believe these were baked today?" Tonker screeched.
"Wait. There are regulations?" She seemed to subside a little. "What kind of regulations?" She seemed almost calm, except that she was manically crushing the remains of the cookie in her fist.
The waitress panicked for, while she was fairly certain there were regulations, she was not familiar, as such, with them. In fact, she didn't so much know there were regulations as assume. She tried frantically to change the subject. "Ah... efficient ones. To ensure that ... all of our products are of the best quality." She hesitated. "... Have you tried the coffee?"
"THE COFFEE?" Tonker screeched. She threw the devasted cookie, which had been crumbled into a small ball of dough, to the ground with enough force to make it go SPLAT. "You call that coffee? I call it mud! It's worse than SCUMBO! Let me see that."
Lofty handed over the cup and took the dish, trying not to call attention to herself.
"This. Is not coffee," said Tonker. "Look." She brandished the cup in a similar manner to when she had thrust the cookie forward earlier, i.e., pushed the cup so close that the waitress's eyeballs could feel the heat through the cup. "Do you see that?" said Tonker. "DO YOU SEE THAT? It's got STUFF floating in it! STUFF! I'd rather drink from the Ankh!!"
The waitress stifled the urge to ask what scumbo was (the fact that her eyes feel like they were melting helped) and pointing out that one would only ever drink from the Ankh if one were suicidal. Instead, she backed up a few more steps and said, "Those are coffee grounds. They're... supposed to be there."
"Not those," said Tonker. She took the dish back from Lofty, leaving her trying to cup cookies in her arms, and poured the coffee into it, seemingly oblivious of how much it splattered.
"Look!" she declared, triumphantly, pushing it forward. She was running out of ideas, but at this point she was going on sheer adrenaline anyway. Besides, people complained about nothing all the time. She was just complaining about nothing and knowing it was nothing. "Look at this!" she waved the dish so that coffee flew, in case the waitress really was looking. "What kind of cafe is this anyway??"
The waitress looked, and frowned as the brown liquid hit her cheek. She wiped it off with sleeve of her uniform. "Please, miss, calm down. There's nothing there."
Tonker sighed, pulling the dish back. She was pretty sure Nivin and Jo had already made it. Good thing, too: she didn't know what else to complain about. "Some people just can't take constructive criticism," she muttered. She picked up a sugar cookie and took a big bite out of it as she and Lofty walked back to the table.
The waitress stared. Then she stared for a few more seconds. Then she curse, although under her breath, since she rather liked having a job. Muttering darkly about certain torments she would love to inflict upon certain customers, she headed back to the turn leading to the kitchen door.
Then she went to sleep.
"Yes, Jo, very elegant," said Nivin.
"It's not as if I was expecting this. I don't pack my entire dart collection on casual lunches. Now help me get the apron off. Quick, before someone comes."
Nivin bent. "And exactly what are you going to do with her for now?"
"... Er."
When everyone had stopped staring at them, Tonker and Lofty made their way as surreptiously as possible back to the kitchen. Maybe she shouldn't have made quite so much noice, Tonker mused, flashing a grin at the Genua-drinking old lady, whose frown deepened with suspicion for Young People as their gazes met.
Tonker slipped into the kitchen, holding up a fork in case her presence would have to be explained, or in case there were mad drug lords waiting in ambush. She thought she could make out the outline of people in the darkness... She stepped protectively in front of Lofty.
A whispered conversation could be heard. "We could drag her
into the bathroom?"
"Yes, right, and no one will notice us dragging an unconscious woman around."
"She took sick?"
"Oh, very funny, Jo - Magda?"
"What's this about dragging someone into the bathroom?" said Tonker, relaxing and putting the fork down.
"Ssshh," the figure that was now identified as Jocasta said. She indicated the fallen waitress. "We, er, needed a uniform." And, indeed, the woman's apron, jacket, and other official trappings were gone, leaving just a white shirt and a skirt.
"But now," said Nivin, who was hanging on to their acquired disguise, "the genius here can't figure out what to do with the body."
"She's not dead, Niv, you don't need to put it quite like that."
"Um," said Tonker. "If you wore the uniform, don't you think they'd notice that you weren't... well, you weren't her? It's not like you look like her or anything..."
"...Good point," said Jo. "Unless, um, they weren't really paying attention?"
"And were a few miles away?" Nivin added dryly. "And blind?"
Jocasta paused for a moment, apparently deep in then. Then she snapped her fingers. "You know what? Let's just sneak in there. If someone tries to catch us we'll just run before they do. I mean, we can escape a bunch of chefs, right?"
"Good plan!" said Tonker. "But what about, er, her?" She looked down at the waitress. "What did you do to her anyway?"
"Just hit her over the head," said Jocasta, grimacing. She produced a knife from one of the many pockets on her person and tapped the hilt meaningfully. "I'll admit it lacked style, sadly." She eyed the unconscious woman again. "Is there some corner here where the customers wouldn't see us? Like.. a big shelf, or a bar, or something?"
Tonker shrank slightly away from the knife.
"I guess if we prop her up against the wall and put something over her?" Tonker looked around. "Hey, here's some bags of coffee beans. Maybe we could push her behind them?"
Jocasta casually flipped the (sheathed) weapon into the air before finally noticing the other girl's discomfort and tactfully stowing it away again. "Sure, why not? It's convenient enough. Here, Magda, could you move one of them aside a bit? Niv, take her legs, please."
"Sure," said Tonker. "Lofty, give me a hand, will you? Coffee beans are a lot heavier than I thought they'd be." She tugged at her sack with some effort, while Lofty moved for the one next to hers.
"Umm..." said Lofty, causing Tonker to look up sharply. Tonker walked over to Lofty, wondering what could've happened to make Lofty say even that much. Maybe the bag was too heavy for her? Tonker grabbed the bag and heaved--
Tonker stumbled backwards. "Is this empty??" Tonker said, peering into the opening of the sack. "No, there's stuff in it... but it's not coffee..."
"Not coffee?" Jocasta seemed about to rush over, but then recalled exactly what she was carrying, and set the woman down gently. Slightly startled, Nivin nevertheless followed suit. "What do you mean, not coffee?" She leaned down to peek into the bag. "Oh. That sort of not coffee."
"What sort?" asked Niv, who didn't quite have enough room to push her head in.
"The sort that's white? And powdery?"
"Is it flour?" said Tonker, reaching in and, against all common sense, tasting a pinch. "Yuck, that's not--!"
"Hey, what's going on out there?" said a low and distinctly nearby voice. "Who's there?" There were footsteps.
Jocasta hissed something innapropriate under her breath. Nivin did the same, and, although the words sounded foreign, one could probably grasp the general gist.
"Quick," Jocasta whispered urgently. "Is there another way out?"
"Lofty and I came in the back," said Tonker, "Because everyone was staring at us. Over there!" Tonker pointed, then paused. "But what about the...?" She motioned to the sack of not-coffee-nor-flour.
Jocasta hesitated, but Nivin grabbed her friend's shoulder and ran. She gestured urgently with her free hand. "It's not important; we can worry about it later!"
"What do you mean 'later?'"
"Just go!"
Tonker realized that it'd probably be smarter to run. She threw the lip of the sack closed, grabbed Lofty's hand, and ran after Jocasta and Nivin. But she thought this was probably their only chance to do something about their drug, and now it was disappearing behind them...
Nivin threw the door open and pushed Jocasta out, ignoring her friend's quick protest. She held the door open for the other two. "Hurry! This is not going to look good if they find us..."
Tonker dove through, dragging Lofty after her. "But what about that powder?" she protested, although she was already running away from the door. "I feel sick."
Nivin shut it behind her, only remembering an instant before not to slam it. "Sick?" The girl opened her mouth to continue, then shut it when the sounds of movement became audible behind the closed door. Then there was a loud curse. Jocasta dodged around the corner of the building, and Nivin motioned for the others to do the same.
Tonker and Lofty followed. "Dizzy, sort of," said Tonker after a while, when her brain finally caught up to her ears and she realized Nivin had asked a question.
"Oh, gods," said Jocasta. "That wouldn't be poison, or anything, right?"
"I doubt it," said Nivin grimly. "Just something you don't want to be eating, is all. Look, can you get back to the University? Or should we take you back to the Guild?"
"Why?" Jocasta asked.
"I don't know. Do we know anyone who can take of this sort of thing?"
There now seemed to be some sort of argument going on behind the door.
"Never mind, let's just get out of here," Tonker yelled, giddy from the adrenaline. She ducked into a random alleyway and threaded through to the street on the other side. After running a few yards, she stopped short. "Did you just see that?" she said, pointing a finger at the ground. "There was this... spider-thing that just ran by! It was huge!"
"Did you see a spider-thing?" Jocasta asked.
"No," said Nivin flatly.
"Good, " said Jocasta. "Or bad. Depending. Oh, damn." She took off after Tonker. Niv started to follow, then turned to come back for Lofty; leaving the girl behind wouldn't feel right.
Meanwhile, Jo had stopped next to the apparently hallucinating Tonker. "Look, um, let's just get you home, okay?" She placed a tentative hand on the other girl's shoulder. "Remember, class," she muttered, "under no circumstances are you to taste any unknown substance."
"Okay, let's go," said Tonker cheerfully. "Wasn't that awesome, though? We found out that, that, that the coffee place was putting stuff in the coffee! We're like coppers!"
"Oh, yes," said Nivin, although it wasn't clear from her tone whether she thought this was a good thing or a bad thing. "Listen, Jo, how's the university going to react if she shows up like this? Do you want to take her back to the Guild? There's probably someone there who, I don't know, knows about chemicals?"
"Yes. Poisons."
"It's the best I can think of." Niv turned to Lofty. "Do you think the wizards at your university would be much help?"
"Poisons?" said Tonker, while Lofty shied away from Nivin. She thought about the Archhcancellor, who thought if you waited long enough all problems would probably go away, and shook her head. Maybe Ponder Stibbons, but...
"I don't think they'd be able to help," said Lofty quietly. "She's not... sick, is she?"
"'Course not, Lofty!" Tonker declared. "I feel better than ever! I feel like I could fly!"
"No, she's not sick," said Nivin, in the sort of amazingly calm voice that denoted a person under very tight control. She turned to Jocasta. "She says the wizards can't help. Let's take her back to the Guild."
"And say what?"
"I don't know! But I'm not just taking her home like this."
"I wouldn't either," said Jocasta. "Fine. Just... we can talk to someone. Someone can sort it out, right?"
"Wait, what?" said Tonker. "What's wrong with going back to the University? We have the rest of the day off until after dinner, but we should probably go back soon..." It suddenly occurred to her that she and Lofty were running around with two people they didn't even know, who happened to be training to be Assassins and also had randomly knocked out a waitress and not thought much about it. She stopped short, took Lofty's hand, and look at them suspiciously. "I think we should go back to the University now," she said. "I'm fine."
"Really?" Nivin raised an eyebrow. "No giant spiders?"
Jocasta elbowed the other girl. "Do you want us to walk you back?" she asked earnestly.
"Actually, now that you mention it," said Tonker, staring at the wall behind Nivin's head. "There's a... bigggg spider... Get ou to fthe way!"
Almost mechnically, Nivin spun around. And punched the wall. Jocasta bit her lip. "Er...do you want to come with us? We'll take care of any-" She glanced at Niv, who still had her hand against the wall. "Spiders," she finished lamely.
"Did you-- your hand just passed through--?" Tonker sputtered. Lofty looked on with concern. "This can't be real," said Tonker, staring at Nivin's hand, which was apparently sitting in the spider.
"Oh, damn," said Nivin flatly. She removed her hand and straightened. She stretched her palm out before Tonker. "Look. No guts."
Jocasta was beginning to look increasingly worried. She reached for Tonker's hand. "Let's, um, go back. There's no ... spiders there. Yes. Right. Um. This way."
"No guts," repeated Tonker in a dazed voice, allowing herself to be dragged a ways before noticing. "Argh!" she screamed. "What do you want! Lofty, they've got me, but you can still run!"
Lofty looked suitably horrified.
This was unnerving enough to make Jocasta drop the other girl's hand. Rooftops, drops, knives, various other perils of the night, and yes, cesspits, she could deal with, but this a bit much. That Nivin was ... well, a touch off would be the understatement of the century, wasn't helping matters at all. Jo drew instinctively closer to her classmate. "We don't want anything," she said as gently as possible. "You just need to... sit down for a bit. And, er, get some help." She paused, unsure of where to go from there. The truth seemed as good an option as any. "We're not really sure what you tasted, in there, but it wasn't good, I know that."
"But I feel fine," Tonker protested, standing by Lofty. "Just a bit nervous, that's all..."
Jocasta bit her lip again. What she wanted to do was pull out one of her knives and fiddle with it, because that would be relatively normal and familiar, but was bright enough to realize this would not be the most prudent move. "Er... you feel fine now, but, um, we should probably have someone check. Just to, um, make sure."
"We wouldn't want anything to happen to you, after all."
"Yeah, but I don't even know you," protested Tonker uneasily. She suddenly felt like she was forgetting something very, very important. She gripped Lofty's hand tightly.
"Maybe we should just listen to them," Lofty said, obviously worred about Tonker. "You are acting kind of... strange."
"Strange?" said Tonker. "I'm not acting strange! Am I?"
Yes! "Not as such," Jocasta said slowly. "Just... a little different. Look, we just want to take precautions. We're not going to do anything to you, on my honor."
"Which she takes very, very seriously," Nivin added dryly.
"So what do you want me to do, then?" said Tonker distractedly, staring at the rabbits who were walking in single file across the street. Odd...
"Just come with us back to the Guild." The relief in Jo's voice was evident. "We'll talk to one of the teachers, or something. It'll be as quick as possible, I promise. Everything will be fine." She wasn't quite sure whether the last bit was appropriate, but it had slipped out anyway.
A noise back at the cafe caused both student Assassins to start. "Okay, we should probably be leaving now," said Nivin.
"At least I agree with that," said Tonker, glancing back. When she looked again, the rabbits were gone. She stared at the road for another second, then shook her head. "Fine, let's go," she said.
"Thank you," said Jocasta, although she wasn't entirely sure whether she was speaking to Tonker or not. She took Tonker's hand. "This way..."
This is actually part of a larger planned plot- nothing particularly angsty, just slightly odd. It would be quite easy for The Times and/or the Watch to get mixed in, and it could conceivably include anyone else interested. And we'd, um, be happy if it did, if you take my meaning. For details, or other ideas (that'd be great!), you can, um, ping me. Contact info is here under litsares for anyone who doesn't know it.