hello, sun [jongyu, g]
hello, sun
jongyu, g
fluff, romance
Today is exactly your day
I'll do anything for you
I want to give you a small gift
That only I can give to you
I'll run to you now and confess »
There’s a gasping, bubbling breath seeping down his throat. It tastes like early mornings on the roof of their old high school, sipping coffee and nursing hangovers that leave you reeling on the balls of your feet. Even as the sun kicks up its heels and begins it’s daily dash across the sky - but yet to peek it’s head over the horizon -, it feels like time is trying to push it back under night’s spell. He wishes it would, just for today.
Sighing, he stares up at the colors decorated across the sky, both in welcome to the day and one last bid farewell to another party, another night.
“Think we should go home?”
The dew from the grass is seeping into his clothes and he shivers, “Probably.”
The other boy’s head suddenly blocks the wisps of clouds he was trying to distinguish between a rubber duck and a whale as he leans over him from his sitting position.
“My ass is wet and the next train will be here in a few minutes.”
“Yeah.”
There it is again, him being a complete asshole. He can’t help but want to push the other away, far away.
So many times they’ve ended up here, when they used to sneak out during their early summers as friends, just to feel alive. Or when the other couldn’t sleep because of some stupid assignment or essay and he was made to sit and watch him rack his brain for something intelligible before school.
The Han river has always been that place they would meet, even if by accident.
He watches the other stand up, slipping hands into his jacket pockets and looking more awkward then he can remember him ever looking. There’s a bitter taste at the back of his throat that has nothing to do with soju. He knows it’s coming.
“Hey.” he says, before Jinki can say anything.
Jinki keeps his back to him and continues to stare straight out at the very edge of the earth, where the sun will rise. And, like all the other times, the line between light and dark begins it’s creep up from behind and makes its way towards them, running down from the very top of the hill. He lifts his chin and Jonghyun imagines his eyes are closed.
“Hmm?”
It’s tumbling along the wet grass, getting closer and he’s resolved that he has to do this before the day starts. He flips over, pushes off his stomach and onto his feet.
“Jinki-hyung, I-“
“Formality doesn’t suit you well, Jonghyun.”
He’s smiling. Jonghyun can hear it in his voice and feel it in his own chest. But when he turns, with his eyes all wrinkled and teeth shining, his breath catches on something while on its way out of his lungs. Probably the lump in his throat.
“Don’t worry, Jonghyun. I know about you and Kibum-goon.”
His heart twangs something weird. Painful.
“It’s not like I expected us to always be like this. We’re already 20. I mean, we ... it wasn’t always going to be just us.”
‘We’re not what you think. It’s not like that at all.’ He wants to say.
He recalls the wicked heat of skin against skin and the scrap on his lip - which Jinki had asked about the day after -, made by an earring. The dark spot on the side of his neck, where the younger man’s mouth had sucked a tiny bruise into his skin, teeth harsh around it.
“There’s no such thing as forever. We‘ve had girlfriends and we don‘t go to the same school anymore so … ” He sighs, smiling still.
The sun is speeding up. No, he doesn’t want Jinki to remember the light’s heat on his face as something bittersweet.
“I ... I promise I won’t be an asshole. I’ll make you stupid healthy meals during exams and I’ll make you even stupider songs. W-We’ll go anywhere you want, whenever you want.”
He hates that he wants to cry, that he’s practically ripping open his chest and handing his heart over to the other.
“But I won’t let you dance with anyone else other than me, because then I’ll get jealous and I hate being jealous. Especially when ... I want what’s there. Like ... I don’t know. I just ... I-“
He looks down at his shoes and fights the tears that are building, burning. The ratty pair of Converse have seen him - them - through a few rough patches and a lot of good times. Warmth spreads in his chest and throughout his entire body as he remembers Jinki’s face, all snotty like a child, as he cried over his first failed attempt at love in junior high.
It was the first time Jonghyun had seen that much emotion on Jinki’s face, so fragile. Jonghyun likes to think he’s the only one to have ever seen the elder like that. Held him like that.
“I love you, Jonghyun.”
Looking back up at the other, he watches as the sun slips it’s arms around Jinki and washes him in a new day. He’s staring straight at him, eyes dark and scary serious. Jonghyun feels his chest compress and fill again, ready to burst open and spill forth everything an anything he‘s been holding within it.
This moment, his feelings and the look on Jinki's face are too much. All too much to take in. Might as well let it out.
“I was supposed to say it first.” He rubs his sleeve to his nose, sniffling in order to hide the tears that cling to his eyelids.
“You weren’t … even making sense.”
He watches Jinki swallow, lips fall open in order to say something else. But close again. Letting his gaze fall, he finds the limited view he has of the other’s collarbones a tease and he wants to pull his shirt off right then and there. Just to mark that body as his.
Stepping towards him, he grabs his wrist and brings their bodies together, wrapping his arms around his waist and burying his face inside the crook of Jinki’s neck.
“Whatever, I love you more.”
“Liar.”
Just as he’s about to pull away and glare at him, he’s embraced back, arms wrapped around him in return. He can feel the tears again. The guilt has been gnawing at his insides since that morning weeks ago. It was one night that they - Jonghyun and Kibum - wanted to forget. But they knew other people knew and they just happened to be the people they didn’t want to know.
‘Kibum and I were drunk. I was angry at you for leaving me for Taemin that night. So was he.‘ It’s petty. He’s petty.
“C’mon, let’s go home.” Jinki pulls away, but Jonghyun just buries his face further into his neck.
“What are yo-”
“Can we go to your place?”
He rubs his nose up the side of the elder’s neck, smelling the last lingering hint of cologne on his skin and brushes parted lips along his jaw line. The other is stiff in his arms and he can’t help the dirty smile that stretches across his face.
“I-” Jinki swallows audibly and lets the silence make him look even more stupid.
“We’ll cuddle.” He pulls away, but keeping his arms around Jinki and smiles innocently.
“I hate you.”
The elder is walking away as quickly as possible and Jonghyun is momentarily stunned as to how the other slipped out of his arms so easily. Not hiding his grin, he jogs after him and slips his hand into Jinki’s, limp at his side. He looks up and finds the other’s face is glowing a dusky red. Jinki zips up his jacket fully, burying his face into the high collar and clears his throat as he threads his fingers through Jonghyun’s.
He squeezes the hand in his and turns to look at the sun, rising lazily over the horizen.
Good morning.
-
“Stop staring, it‘s rude.”
“No, it’s love.”
“God, stop, please. Your poetry won’t work on me, Jonghyun.”
“Just wait until we get into bed, I’ll show you every trick up my sleeve. Or in my pant-”
Jinki leans in and plants an awkward kiss on the corner of Jonghyun’s mouth. Swiftly silencing him into a surprised stupor.
“Stop it, already.”
ilu if you read this ;~;
if there are any grammer/structure/whatever issues, let me know.
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