I cant believe i'm being mis represented like this. I thought htis was a place i could work through my pain in an environment where people didn't have to be always with being mean and i get nothing but anti semitizvs and lesbians and people trying to tell me how to live when all i want to do is get through one day after the other without having to ( Read more... )

i just want to clarify something that some of you may have heard about me and the orientals and the blacks, OK? because, like i dont even know any black people really and the thing is that asians are all over the place right now in the summer up here at the resort and, yes, i am not rascicst but also yes i dont like the summer asians. in my school ( Read more... )

So, apparently, mean is the new "hi, How are you" around here ( Read more... )

So a consequence of all my therapy is that i'm not so repulsed by myself as i was like a year ago and later. I used to hate having to take a shower because i didn't want to see myself or touch any part of me. Especially i didn't want anybody to look at me and somebody else touching me was unthinkable ( Read more... )

I keep trying to relive all these things to work through them. my doctor said i need to confront what happened to me. The reliving them in my mind part doesnt really work though because i dont remember any of the really bad things that happened to me. The psychiatrist says i'm blocking it out but my doctor told me that i was probably in a ( Read more... )

i woke up in the hospital i wasn't really awake i thought i was dreaming that i had died. i couldn't feel my face or my hands or anything. it was dark and i could hear everything. i remember hearing carts and voices and squeaking and my own blood. I remember people coming into the room to visit the person who was sharing it with me. I don't ( Read more... )

i was hoping that i could use this journal to kind of expose my experiences of the last year and that by putting them out there for just anyone to see it would help me be more comfortable talking about it in real life with my family and my friends ( Read more... )

Visitor Q
Streetcar Named Desire
Night of the Hunter
Julien Donkey-Boy
Cool Hand Luke
Fat Girl
The Holy Mountain
Putney Swope
Gadjo Dilo
Nadja

It's been a little while but I'm back.

I hope i dont have to leave again at all. ever. ever.