(Untitled)

[dismasiniowa]

someone told me tonight that they were a lot happier than they've ever been, but that they're not necessarily sure if they really are, because a lot of their happiness is based on things that they shouldn't be doing

Comments

[optometron]

its an interesting question. i appreciate it. i think:

as long as its YOUR "should", i definitely don't think you're in a worse position.

by which i mean, are you doing what YOU feel you ought to be doing? or what a good student, a good 20 year old, a good grinnellian, a good son, a good friend, a good catholic (etc) ought to be doing? not that those are mutually exclusive.

because if that person's not doing what they themselves feel is the right thing i can't see how that's going to work out well in the long run.

and as long as you're doing what you think is right, you at least have that. it'll come together eventually, Ethan.

i think? i mean of course im just me and no wiseman.

[karapety]

For me personally the most difficult part of the question comes from not being able to distinguish between what I think is right and what I'm told is right. Or realizing that what I think is right might not necessarily be right for me. I guess that's just part of growing up....

If you need to talk/vent, I'm willing to listen.

[optometron]

interesting. because i usually don't have a hard time knowing what i think is right and what i think is wrong. or comparing them to societal standards. but i also have a theory that i have a hyper-sensitive conscience, so... i KNOW when i'm not okay with something. no to suggest i always know, though, because thats not true.

but. like. do normal people get that feeling in their stomach when they feel theyre not doing the right thing? like..."fear"? dread? fear is the closest thing i have to a comparison of what the feeling is. or disgust?

realizing that what you think is right might not necessarily be right for you? what do you mean?

[dismasiniowa]

amanda, i find it interesting that you seemed to interpret this (or read into it) questions of moral choice. at least, that's what I'm getting. Arpi maybe did too, although maybe just knowing her I am reading it in more general terms. Who the hell knows. Anyway.

I don't question the moral choices I made; that's not what I meant at all in the original post. My questions are not, "am I a good student" or even, "am I a good person." Not to say that I think I'm infallible; I am all too aware of the mistakes I make, and how I fall short of my moral standards.

The person I was discussing it might have been talking about things in these terms. I am asking myself more fundamental questions; not, "am I a good student," but "why am I a student at all?" That is, I can trace back the decisions I make; I know why I make them; my problem is that being right hasn't made me particularly happy. Professional/academic decisions.