Minor Melodies (Shibutani Subaru, Yasuda Shota)
Minor Melodies
Shibutani Subaru, Yasuda Shota
Notes:
This is written for Subaru's birthday, but since Yasu's one is totally focused on Subaru, it's the reverse this time. Inspired by their Life ~Me no Mae no Mukoe~ Music Station performances. It's sort of implied that they're in an established relationship, but it can be read as close friendship as well, which I actually prefer. Kind of a character study on Yasu, and by god is he hard to write. I don't think I quite succeeded. Had to write this in a rush too, so I really don't like this one much.
Anyway, regarding the title, minor has two meanings here. The first is the meaning insignificant. The other has to do with music, and minor tunes tend to have a heavier or gloomier sense to them. Note that I don't actually know anything about band music, so I apologize for any mistakes on the subject.
Yasu barely notices himself singing, but he pays extra attention to the timing for him to alternate between his guitar and his voice. He has been doing this since the beginning, and his guitar is a natural extension of himself by now. Even back when he wasn't quite so serious about music, Yasu has always wanted to stay in a band.
It's simple for him, reaching a goal he's been striving for. But for the others, Yasu realizes that it's not as easy. Yoko's movements are so stiff that the timing's almost off. Just from the keyboard's sounds, Yasu can tell that Hina's fingers are shaking violently. The others aren't doing all that well either, though Maru -- Yasu's partner from the start -- is hanging on solidly, harmonizing with Yasu's guitar while steadying the beat of Ohkura's drums.
It's alright, though. This is only their first time playing as a band on live television. It's enough that they're showing all of Japan that they're more than just the comedic group of Johnnys.
And yet, something's not right. When Subaru's voice doesn't come through as usual, Yasu can tell that it's more than the microphones that are malfunctioning. There's also something wrong with Subaru's guitar, until Subaru misses a beat and Yasu steals a glance towards Subaru's direction. Yasu realizes quickly that Subaru's fingers are nearly frozen, clumsily moving on when they could skillfully play a melody much harder than the one Subaru's playing.
Yasu watches as Subaru cracks. Yasu sees the signs of Subaru's forcing himself to keep his expression neutral, but there's panic in Subaru's voice, and it takes all of Yasu's willpower not to reach out for Subaru. All Yasu can do then is to go on with all his might, forcing his voice out in hope of touching Subaru.
It doesn't work. When they go offstage, Subaru immediately closes himself off, not a smile in sight. Yasu tries to move in Subaru's direction, but they're huddled towards the guest area, and Subaru slips away while Yasu's placed on a seat where there's no chance of offering Subaru any comfort. He chats with the ones sitting next to him, and Hina smiles as he confesses his mistakes while Ohkura congratulates them all. But it's not enough, because Subaru's the one Yasu wants to reach before Subaru slips further away.
By the time the show finally ends, it's already too late. Yasu thinks it isn't fair, how Subaru always comes and goes at his own pace. How Subaru clings to Yasu when they're doing fine, but withdraws the moment he's scared. Years have gone by, yet Subaru still acts as though they're going to fall apart any day.
It hurts. When Subaru doesn't even look at Yasu as he walks into their resting room, Yasu feels a part of himself break, and it just isn't fair how Subaru can hurt him like this. When Subaru asks Ohkura for the comb that's obviously closer to Yasu, he feels like hiding away in a corner to lick his own wounds. It hurts, and it's worse because even like this, all he wants is to comfort Subaru, to make sure Subaru's alright.
"Please, go talk to Shibuyan for me," Yasu says to Maru when he catches the other wandering in the hallway.
Maru sighs. Yasu knows he's not being fair to Maru, who has a life of his own too. But Maru would always be too kind to refuse his requests, and it's this gentleness that Subaru easily accepts. Maybe it's what Subaru needs for now, though it aches for Yasu to admit this much.
"Wait here," Maru says.
Yasu frowns, "I just want to go home, Maru." He's carrying his bag with him, ready to leave as soon as he's certain Subaru's taken care of. Lingering around would only worsen Yasu's mood, and when he's desperate enough he might do something he'd regret.
"Just wait here, alright?"
Yasu's frown deepens, but he nods reluctantly. He just hopes Maru isn't planning on dragging Subaru out to meet him. He can't hide from Subaru forever, but Yasu's feeling too depressed himself to try drawing Subaru out now. For such a stupid reason, too. They're Johnnys, they've embarrassed themselves countless times to get here, and yet Subaru's willing to withdraw himself because of one measly mistake.
Subaru's no longer the angry teenager that lashes out to everyone, but there are so many traces of that instability that Yasu doesn't know how to react to. He wants to help Subaru, but Subaru wants to help himself, and Yasu doesn't know if he's just supposed to wait until Subaru comes out of his shell again.
When Maru comes out of the waiting room, Yasu's relieved that Subaru isn't beside him. What comes next is suspicion -- wasn't Maru going to accompany Subaru? Maru isn't the type to abandon people, especially when companionship is needed.
"You're staying in Tokyo tonight, right?" Maru asks.
Cautiously, Yasu nods his head. "Of course. There's a meeting tomorrow morning, right?"
"We're going out for a drink," Maru says, putting a hand on Yasu's shoulder.
"I thought you were going to talk to Shibuyan?" Yasu asks skeptically. He takes a step backward, but he doesn't brush Maru's hand off, because the hand is warm and comforting and maybe, just maybe, Yasu needs the support as well.
"Yokocho can take care of him. You're coming with me."
Even though Yasu knows that Yoko's more than competent at offering advice, he still feels like asking Maru to tag along anyway. He knows about their junior days, about how Yoko, Hina and Subaru were basically the Osaka team in the Tokyo battlefield, how they went through fire and water by sticking together and being loud enough to smother the noises telling them to go back home. But Yasu's always been firmly planted in Kansai, and so he rarely sees it with his own eyes while he knows that even privately Subaru always relaxes around Maru.
"Stop worrying," Maru says. "We're the Yamada team, remember? We're partners. If you think about it, we actually started all this band business."
Yasu feels the tips of his lips quirking into a small smile. Maru's right, of course. They were the ones playing their respective instruments from the beginning, stubbornly wanting to go on in the road they chose. Well, that's actually mostly Yasu, but Maru's been with him all the way.
"You mean we're to blame?" Yasu laughs. In a much more serious tone, he asks while looking deliberately away, "We did okay, right?"
Maru doesn't even pause to think. "Of course we did. You're going to disagree after watching the recording and you'll beat yourself up a thousand times for any tiniest bit more you can do, and Subaru's already doing that, but I think we did okay. And no," Maru adds when he sees Yasu's expression, "not just because we're not a professional band."
Yasu takes a few steps towards the exit. Sometimes, it's easier to be a little selfish, to enjoy life before facing the difficult things. "So, where are we going?"
After yesterday, Yasu knows that he could confront Subaru anytime and Subaru wouldn't refuse him. But if it's uncomfortable for Subaru, then they wouldn't get anywhere, and some conversations are better done in private. Yasu's patient enough, and he takes the chance to cherish the quiet atmosphere of Kanjani∞ when they're not being recorded.
They're taking different trains home, since Yasu has another photoshoot. But it should be simple and easy, and even extra interviews really won't take up much time.
When Yasu waits for the staff to prepare the set, he finally gets a message from Subaru. But he's been waiting for it since yesterday, and reading the message would only distract him from work. Even with his shaking hands anticipating Subaru's words, it can wait a little longer.
When the shoot's finally over, Yasu reads the text, and he smiles. It's simple and to the point, exactly like Subaru's usual messages. Even the content feels normal.
Come over tonight.
He rings the doorbell. After a few short seconds, Subaru opens the door, and Yasu notices the casual t-shirt and shorts that Subaru's wearing, meaning Subaru has already showered. Yasu takes a moment to remember the day they found that t-shirt in a second-hand shop, how Subaru had gotten excited because it's the right size too, large enough to be comfortable but small enough that it wouldn't drag around.
There's food on the table, and although it's just takeout, Yasu recognizes it as a peace offering. Subaru had gotten Yasu's favorites, though there's nothing Subaru dislikes either. It's still rare for Subaru to be this obvious.
"Do you want to shower first?" Subaru asks, the first thing he says to Yasu since their performance.
"Later," Yasu answers, "You must be hungry. Let's eat first?"
Subaru gives a small nod, and they sit down in their usual seats, facing each other. It's cozy like this, just the two of them around a table without anything else to disturb them. Like this, it's easy to remember why he likes spending time with Subaru, why he's willing to do anything for this man who doesn't say anything outright and yet writes the most poetic lyrics. Even with tension in the air, a certain expectancy over the conversation that needs to take place, it's still what Yasu wants to reach out for.
After a quiet meal, Subaru shoves Yasu towards the shower and goes off to wash the plates. Yasu notices two shirts in the pile of clothes Subaru prepared for him, and the simple white one is Yasu's while the dark red one is clearly Subaru's. It couldn't have been a mistake, and Yasu thinks this is Subaru asking a question. Yasu answers by wearing the red t-shirt, and it warms him faster than any fabric has the right to.
When Yasu gets out of the shower, Subaru's sitting on the couch watching a television show that Subaru's evidently not interested in. Yasu slides in next to Subaru, and they sit with their sides pressed firmly against each other.
"Hey," Yasu begins.
"I'm sorry," Subaru says immediately, "I couldn't think, and I didn't mean to, but I was scared and it was stupid of me and I'm sorry, I'll try not to-"
"Shibuyan, it's okay." Sometimes simple words are much more effective, and Yasu wants to get his point across. "Yoko explained to me this morning. It's not like," Yasu bites his lower lip, "it's not like it doesn't hurt, but it's okay."
"No!" Subaru says forcefully, but he doesn't move. "Even if you did want to point out my mistakes right after the performance, I still shouldn't have ran away. I guess it's just...been a while since I've faced such a major failure, and after we're finally viewed as musicians, I couldn't face this being a step backwards all because of me."
Yasu still doesn't understand why Subaru couldn't trust him to push aside their work until both of them are ready to face it.
He thinks about Subaru, about their music and their career and their joy and pain, and he wonders if he's truly standing by Subaru as equals. Anyone can learn how to play a guitar, but Subaru's strengths and skills are unrivaled. Most of the time it seems like they're closer than ever, sinking into their own melodies, but there are days when Subaru barely pays him any attention. He thought they trusted each other with everything, but if Subaru can't trust Yasu with Subaru's music, what else is there?
Beside him, Subaru sits with his hands on his laps, looking even smaller than his body frame suggests, and Yasu wraps an arm around Subaru's shoulder instinctively.
"You haven't watched the recording, have you?" Yasu feels rather than sees Subaru shaking his head. "Maybe you're right, I might be the first person able to spot your mistakes. But I was rushing through the performance as well, and none of us were at our best. But we did it, we're finally playing a band song on live television. Who knows what's next?"
"The new album," Subaru mutters, but Yasu notices the underlined joke in Subaru's tone.
Yasu laughs, "We're always going to have to face failures, Shibuyan. And people are always going to be pointing and criticizing us. But we're also going to have successes along the way, and I think our flaws make us all the more interesting."
Subaru sigh and lies his head onto Yasu's lap, curling up into a comfortable position. "I'm still sorry," he murmurs.
"We're Johnnys. Music can be a passion and a matter of pride, but it'll always be secondary," Yasu says. He doesn't add that Kanjani∞ is first, but Subaru should know. At the spur of the moment, he says, "And even Eito is secondary to you."
"Idiot," Subaru says, but there's only affection in his voice.
Yasu twirls a strand of Subaru's hair playfully, "You want to practice?" he asks. "You can play and I can sing."
"Maybe later," Subaru says while yawning.
Subaru must be dead tired to not even try teasing Yasu's singing. It's unfair when the only comparison is Subaru, who as everyone knows has abnormal singing prowess.
"Nevermind," Yasu puts a palm on Subaru's back, "you're clearly tired." Yasu wonders if Subaru slept at all last night, wishing once more that Subaru allowed Yasu to be with him yesterday. Nothing's guaranteed, but if they had this talk yesterday, they both would have had a better night's sleep. "Come on, Shibuyan. Let's get you to bed."
Yasu thinks about the obstacles before them. He thinks about Subaru's insecurities, and he thinks about his own, biting his lips to stop himself from confronting Subaru about them.
As long as Subaru still accepts him, Yasu's going to be right next to Subaru, and that's enough for this night.
With Subaru draping over Yasu, they manage to reach the bedroom. Yasu convinces Subaru to brush his teeth, and Subaru's already half asleep by the time they're finally lying on the bed.
"Yasu," Subaru murmurs.
"Hmm?" Yasu voices questionably. He's not exactly sleepy yet, but it's nice just cuddling like this, feeling Subaru's warmth directly.
"Next week, our performance," Subaru begins.
Yasu nods. They have another performance scheduled next week, and it could be a chance for revenge. Or it could be another potential disaster, but it never helps to think that way.
"I'm still going to be nervous wreck. Same with Yoko and Hina, all of us really. But we'll be together in it, right?"
Yasu couldn't stop the emotions clawing through him if he wanted. He wraps his arms around Subaru, enveloping Subaru as best as he could. Subaru returns the hug by snuggling into him, and Yasu smiles, "Most definitely."
Shibutani Subaru, Yasuda Shota
Notes:
This is written for Subaru's birthday, but since Yasu's one is totally focused on Subaru, it's the reverse this time. Inspired by their Life ~Me no Mae no Mukoe~ Music Station performances. It's sort of implied that they're in an established relationship, but it can be read as close friendship as well, which I actually prefer. Kind of a character study on Yasu, and by god is he hard to write. I don't think I quite succeeded. Had to write this in a rush too, so I really don't like this one much.
Anyway, regarding the title, minor has two meanings here. The first is the meaning insignificant. The other has to do with music, and minor tunes tend to have a heavier or gloomier sense to them. Note that I don't actually know anything about band music, so I apologize for any mistakes on the subject.
- Minor Melodies
Shibutani Subaru, Yasuda Shota
Yasu barely notices himself singing, but he pays extra attention to the timing for him to alternate between his guitar and his voice. He has been doing this since the beginning, and his guitar is a natural extension of himself by now. Even back when he wasn't quite so serious about music, Yasu has always wanted to stay in a band.
It's simple for him, reaching a goal he's been striving for. But for the others, Yasu realizes that it's not as easy. Yoko's movements are so stiff that the timing's almost off. Just from the keyboard's sounds, Yasu can tell that Hina's fingers are shaking violently. The others aren't doing all that well either, though Maru -- Yasu's partner from the start -- is hanging on solidly, harmonizing with Yasu's guitar while steadying the beat of Ohkura's drums.
It's alright, though. This is only their first time playing as a band on live television. It's enough that they're showing all of Japan that they're more than just the comedic group of Johnnys.
And yet, something's not right. When Subaru's voice doesn't come through as usual, Yasu can tell that it's more than the microphones that are malfunctioning. There's also something wrong with Subaru's guitar, until Subaru misses a beat and Yasu steals a glance towards Subaru's direction. Yasu realizes quickly that Subaru's fingers are nearly frozen, clumsily moving on when they could skillfully play a melody much harder than the one Subaru's playing.
Yasu watches as Subaru cracks. Yasu sees the signs of Subaru's forcing himself to keep his expression neutral, but there's panic in Subaru's voice, and it takes all of Yasu's willpower not to reach out for Subaru. All Yasu can do then is to go on with all his might, forcing his voice out in hope of touching Subaru.
It doesn't work. When they go offstage, Subaru immediately closes himself off, not a smile in sight. Yasu tries to move in Subaru's direction, but they're huddled towards the guest area, and Subaru slips away while Yasu's placed on a seat where there's no chance of offering Subaru any comfort. He chats with the ones sitting next to him, and Hina smiles as he confesses his mistakes while Ohkura congratulates them all. But it's not enough, because Subaru's the one Yasu wants to reach before Subaru slips further away.
By the time the show finally ends, it's already too late. Yasu thinks it isn't fair, how Subaru always comes and goes at his own pace. How Subaru clings to Yasu when they're doing fine, but withdraws the moment he's scared. Years have gone by, yet Subaru still acts as though they're going to fall apart any day.
It hurts. When Subaru doesn't even look at Yasu as he walks into their resting room, Yasu feels a part of himself break, and it just isn't fair how Subaru can hurt him like this. When Subaru asks Ohkura for the comb that's obviously closer to Yasu, he feels like hiding away in a corner to lick his own wounds. It hurts, and it's worse because even like this, all he wants is to comfort Subaru, to make sure Subaru's alright.
"Please, go talk to Shibuyan for me," Yasu says to Maru when he catches the other wandering in the hallway.
Maru sighs. Yasu knows he's not being fair to Maru, who has a life of his own too. But Maru would always be too kind to refuse his requests, and it's this gentleness that Subaru easily accepts. Maybe it's what Subaru needs for now, though it aches for Yasu to admit this much.
"Wait here," Maru says.
Yasu frowns, "I just want to go home, Maru." He's carrying his bag with him, ready to leave as soon as he's certain Subaru's taken care of. Lingering around would only worsen Yasu's mood, and when he's desperate enough he might do something he'd regret.
"Just wait here, alright?"
Yasu's frown deepens, but he nods reluctantly. He just hopes Maru isn't planning on dragging Subaru out to meet him. He can't hide from Subaru forever, but Yasu's feeling too depressed himself to try drawing Subaru out now. For such a stupid reason, too. They're Johnnys, they've embarrassed themselves countless times to get here, and yet Subaru's willing to withdraw himself because of one measly mistake.
Subaru's no longer the angry teenager that lashes out to everyone, but there are so many traces of that instability that Yasu doesn't know how to react to. He wants to help Subaru, but Subaru wants to help himself, and Yasu doesn't know if he's just supposed to wait until Subaru comes out of his shell again.
When Maru comes out of the waiting room, Yasu's relieved that Subaru isn't beside him. What comes next is suspicion -- wasn't Maru going to accompany Subaru? Maru isn't the type to abandon people, especially when companionship is needed.
"You're staying in Tokyo tonight, right?" Maru asks.
Cautiously, Yasu nods his head. "Of course. There's a meeting tomorrow morning, right?"
"We're going out for a drink," Maru says, putting a hand on Yasu's shoulder.
"I thought you were going to talk to Shibuyan?" Yasu asks skeptically. He takes a step backward, but he doesn't brush Maru's hand off, because the hand is warm and comforting and maybe, just maybe, Yasu needs the support as well.
"Yokocho can take care of him. You're coming with me."
Even though Yasu knows that Yoko's more than competent at offering advice, he still feels like asking Maru to tag along anyway. He knows about their junior days, about how Yoko, Hina and Subaru were basically the Osaka team in the Tokyo battlefield, how they went through fire and water by sticking together and being loud enough to smother the noises telling them to go back home. But Yasu's always been firmly planted in Kansai, and so he rarely sees it with his own eyes while he knows that even privately Subaru always relaxes around Maru.
"Stop worrying," Maru says. "We're the Yamada team, remember? We're partners. If you think about it, we actually started all this band business."
Yasu feels the tips of his lips quirking into a small smile. Maru's right, of course. They were the ones playing their respective instruments from the beginning, stubbornly wanting to go on in the road they chose. Well, that's actually mostly Yasu, but Maru's been with him all the way.
"You mean we're to blame?" Yasu laughs. In a much more serious tone, he asks while looking deliberately away, "We did okay, right?"
Maru doesn't even pause to think. "Of course we did. You're going to disagree after watching the recording and you'll beat yourself up a thousand times for any tiniest bit more you can do, and Subaru's already doing that, but I think we did okay. And no," Maru adds when he sees Yasu's expression, "not just because we're not a professional band."
Yasu takes a few steps towards the exit. Sometimes, it's easier to be a little selfish, to enjoy life before facing the difficult things. "So, where are we going?"
- ---
After yesterday, Yasu knows that he could confront Subaru anytime and Subaru wouldn't refuse him. But if it's uncomfortable for Subaru, then they wouldn't get anywhere, and some conversations are better done in private. Yasu's patient enough, and he takes the chance to cherish the quiet atmosphere of Kanjani∞ when they're not being recorded.
They're taking different trains home, since Yasu has another photoshoot. But it should be simple and easy, and even extra interviews really won't take up much time.
When Yasu waits for the staff to prepare the set, he finally gets a message from Subaru. But he's been waiting for it since yesterday, and reading the message would only distract him from work. Even with his shaking hands anticipating Subaru's words, it can wait a little longer.
When the shoot's finally over, Yasu reads the text, and he smiles. It's simple and to the point, exactly like Subaru's usual messages. Even the content feels normal.
Come over tonight.
- ---
He rings the doorbell. After a few short seconds, Subaru opens the door, and Yasu notices the casual t-shirt and shorts that Subaru's wearing, meaning Subaru has already showered. Yasu takes a moment to remember the day they found that t-shirt in a second-hand shop, how Subaru had gotten excited because it's the right size too, large enough to be comfortable but small enough that it wouldn't drag around.
There's food on the table, and although it's just takeout, Yasu recognizes it as a peace offering. Subaru had gotten Yasu's favorites, though there's nothing Subaru dislikes either. It's still rare for Subaru to be this obvious.
"Do you want to shower first?" Subaru asks, the first thing he says to Yasu since their performance.
"Later," Yasu answers, "You must be hungry. Let's eat first?"
Subaru gives a small nod, and they sit down in their usual seats, facing each other. It's cozy like this, just the two of them around a table without anything else to disturb them. Like this, it's easy to remember why he likes spending time with Subaru, why he's willing to do anything for this man who doesn't say anything outright and yet writes the most poetic lyrics. Even with tension in the air, a certain expectancy over the conversation that needs to take place, it's still what Yasu wants to reach out for.
After a quiet meal, Subaru shoves Yasu towards the shower and goes off to wash the plates. Yasu notices two shirts in the pile of clothes Subaru prepared for him, and the simple white one is Yasu's while the dark red one is clearly Subaru's. It couldn't have been a mistake, and Yasu thinks this is Subaru asking a question. Yasu answers by wearing the red t-shirt, and it warms him faster than any fabric has the right to.
When Yasu gets out of the shower, Subaru's sitting on the couch watching a television show that Subaru's evidently not interested in. Yasu slides in next to Subaru, and they sit with their sides pressed firmly against each other.
"Hey," Yasu begins.
"I'm sorry," Subaru says immediately, "I couldn't think, and I didn't mean to, but I was scared and it was stupid of me and I'm sorry, I'll try not to-"
"Shibuyan, it's okay." Sometimes simple words are much more effective, and Yasu wants to get his point across. "Yoko explained to me this morning. It's not like," Yasu bites his lower lip, "it's not like it doesn't hurt, but it's okay."
"No!" Subaru says forcefully, but he doesn't move. "Even if you did want to point out my mistakes right after the performance, I still shouldn't have ran away. I guess it's just...been a while since I've faced such a major failure, and after we're finally viewed as musicians, I couldn't face this being a step backwards all because of me."
Yasu still doesn't understand why Subaru couldn't trust him to push aside their work until both of them are ready to face it.
He thinks about Subaru, about their music and their career and their joy and pain, and he wonders if he's truly standing by Subaru as equals. Anyone can learn how to play a guitar, but Subaru's strengths and skills are unrivaled. Most of the time it seems like they're closer than ever, sinking into their own melodies, but there are days when Subaru barely pays him any attention. He thought they trusted each other with everything, but if Subaru can't trust Yasu with Subaru's music, what else is there?
Beside him, Subaru sits with his hands on his laps, looking even smaller than his body frame suggests, and Yasu wraps an arm around Subaru's shoulder instinctively.
"You haven't watched the recording, have you?" Yasu feels rather than sees Subaru shaking his head. "Maybe you're right, I might be the first person able to spot your mistakes. But I was rushing through the performance as well, and none of us were at our best. But we did it, we're finally playing a band song on live television. Who knows what's next?"
"The new album," Subaru mutters, but Yasu notices the underlined joke in Subaru's tone.
Yasu laughs, "We're always going to have to face failures, Shibuyan. And people are always going to be pointing and criticizing us. But we're also going to have successes along the way, and I think our flaws make us all the more interesting."
Subaru sigh and lies his head onto Yasu's lap, curling up into a comfortable position. "I'm still sorry," he murmurs.
"We're Johnnys. Music can be a passion and a matter of pride, but it'll always be secondary," Yasu says. He doesn't add that Kanjani∞ is first, but Subaru should know. At the spur of the moment, he says, "And even Eito is secondary to you."
"Idiot," Subaru says, but there's only affection in his voice.
Yasu twirls a strand of Subaru's hair playfully, "You want to practice?" he asks. "You can play and I can sing."
"Maybe later," Subaru says while yawning.
Subaru must be dead tired to not even try teasing Yasu's singing. It's unfair when the only comparison is Subaru, who as everyone knows has abnormal singing prowess.
"Nevermind," Yasu puts a palm on Subaru's back, "you're clearly tired." Yasu wonders if Subaru slept at all last night, wishing once more that Subaru allowed Yasu to be with him yesterday. Nothing's guaranteed, but if they had this talk yesterday, they both would have had a better night's sleep. "Come on, Shibuyan. Let's get you to bed."
Yasu thinks about the obstacles before them. He thinks about Subaru's insecurities, and he thinks about his own, biting his lips to stop himself from confronting Subaru about them.
As long as Subaru still accepts him, Yasu's going to be right next to Subaru, and that's enough for this night.
With Subaru draping over Yasu, they manage to reach the bedroom. Yasu convinces Subaru to brush his teeth, and Subaru's already half asleep by the time they're finally lying on the bed.
"Yasu," Subaru murmurs.
"Hmm?" Yasu voices questionably. He's not exactly sleepy yet, but it's nice just cuddling like this, feeling Subaru's warmth directly.
"Next week, our performance," Subaru begins.
Yasu nods. They have another performance scheduled next week, and it could be a chance for revenge. Or it could be another potential disaster, but it never helps to think that way.
"I'm still going to be nervous wreck. Same with Yoko and Hina, all of us really. But we'll be together in it, right?"
Yasu couldn't stop the emotions clawing through him if he wanted. He wraps his arms around Subaru, enveloping Subaru as best as he could. Subaru returns the hug by snuggling into him, and Yasu smiles, "Most definitely."