Comments | distant_hearts: Noob advice

photogfrog in distant_hearts

Noob advice

Feb 05, 2009 23:50

What advice would you give a n00b to LDRs?

My friend has recently started on and while I have been at this for 5 years, I feel ill prepared to offer advice for some reason. I have given her some hints, but I curious what others would have to say.

Comments 7

heartovmidnight February 6 2009, 01:08:40 UTC

RUN AWAY!!!

Just kidding.

Be patient. Very, very patient.

photogfrog February 6 2009, 01:14:34 UTC

You're helpful! :)

fu3kthepainaway February 6 2009, 01:15:54 UTC

International - Get a reasonable phone plan or calling cards.
Get a laptop if you have flatmates so you can guarantee privacy (if you live alone don't worry about it).
Get a decent webcam and mic
And if you do use your credit cards a lot, at least get one that offers frequent flier miles.

If it's a national relationship - Get cellphones from the same carrier so all calls are free (if applicable).
Depending on the distance, the frequent flier miles might not be so bad.

For both, I suggest lots of patience, understanding, communication, and above all trust. Without trust, your LDR is bound to fail.

photogfrog February 6 2009, 01:23:07 UTC

This is excellent. Thanks.

heartofmoon February 6 2009, 01:21:33 UTC

Find lots of other interests and friends. In an LDR, you can't lean on your SO constantly the way most couples can.

somethingpirate February 6 2009, 16:46:55 UTC

Agreed. I was amazed by how Nicholas and I grew together even though we pursued very different friendships and interests while we were in an LDR. It makes for interesting things to talk about!

somethingpirate February 6 2009, 16:50:01 UTC

I would tell your friend to make sure that both he/she and his/her SO are both in it for long term. LDRs take a huge amount of commitment, and that commitment will probably be tested. Don't be afraid to ask others for help (ie., have relatives go in on plane tickets for Christmas or birthdays, etc., or even emotional support from other people in LDRs.)

And hope is the most important part. Tell them to keep their eye on the light at the end of the tunnel, because it's amazing when you finally get to be with the person all the time. =)