For me it felt less like the grief of "being done here", which suggests a movement toward shrugging off the mortal coil, and more the brain processing a very active sense of letting go of things and stuff, including parts of myself and my history and old, faulty expectations or patterns... Which is a very Buddhist way of moving further INTO the world, rather than out of it.
This feeling really picked up speed as I moved into my 40's, and now it's just so much a part of me that I just let it flow in contemplation when it hits me.
It could well be that Krissy is right; moving into the crone phase. You are one of those people I want to connect with but you always seem so busy. Would you like to make space to get together over a cuppa soon? SF area code and Five three3 -6412 reaches me :-)
I'm reading this a few days later. Yesterday I had tea with a good friend and we were talking about realizing we're closer to 'the end' than 'the beginning'. Unusual coincidence there.
I fleetingly feel that bit of grief, that feeling that I'm almost done. For me it passes and I see it as a part of aging gracefully.
I have experienced this with music as well as other triggers of beauty, visual and sensory. Sometimes it's just a hot shower.
I believe for me it is coming into a full appreciation of what life is and how precious it is coupled with the realization that it is fragile and finite. Before "a certain age", there concept of mortality resides in the mind but not in the heart (or the seat of our emotions). There comes a point when that realization drops into our space of true understanding. For me it brings both a joy and a sadness... and deeper appreciation as well as grief for its brief flame.
And there is the sadness that it takes us this long (into the later years) to come to that depth of appreciation.
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This feeling really picked up speed as I moved into my 40's, and now it's just so much a part of me that I just let it flow in contemplation when it hits me.
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(i'll be 60 in a few years (just saying that is - wow)).
but, it's starting to fade.
"wasted-my-time" replaced with "wonder-what's-next?"
anticipation supplants mourning.
it's a more pleasant place to be.
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I fleetingly feel that bit of grief, that feeling that I'm almost done. For me it passes and I see it as a part of aging gracefully.
Reply
I believe for me it is coming into a full appreciation of what life is and how precious it is coupled with the realization that it is fragile and finite. Before "a certain age", there concept of mortality resides in the mind but not in the heart (or the seat of our emotions). There comes a point when that realization drops into our space of true understanding. For me it brings both a joy and a sadness... and deeper appreciation as well as grief for its brief flame.
And there is the sadness that it takes us this long (into the later years) to come to that depth of appreciation.
Reply
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