Booooring...
CHILDHOOD
1. What did you want to be when you grew up? I didn’t want to be anything. I knew I would be an English teacher, because it was practical and allow me to take care of my grandparents, mother, and house.
2. Who was your favorite person to do things with (excluding your parents)? Sara or Denise.
3. Did you love school or did you hate it? Academically, I vacillated between frustration and adoration. Socially, I was worse than an outcast and loathed school.
4. Was your family close? We were different. I was at the beginning of the wave of “divorced children.” I was also first-generation American in a bilingual house in an age cohort and social situation that did not understand the “old country.”
5. Did you think that being an adult would be cool? I’ve been told I was X-age-going-on-30 since I was four or five. I don’t remember not being an adult, although I did think for some time that once I turned six, I would know everything.
DREAMS
1. What was the last dream that you had about? I was walking home from the gym on Lincoln Street carrying a wet towel that I’d borrowed from the MIQ, who was living on St. Nicholas Avenue. I got there and noticed another woman’s car in the driveway (and it was the middle of the night), and we had an altercation in the driveway over the fact that I hadn’t laundered the towel. Then I walked the rest of the way down St. Nicholas Avenue to discover that all the houses in the valley were gone and there was a festival going on there instead. Quite bizarre.
2. Does it hold any significant meaning to you? I think the fact that I’d gone swimming, gone home via St. Nick with a wet towel, and had an entire bowl of sour cream and chive mashed potatoes shortly before bed had something to do with it.
3. Do you dream in color or black and white? Usually color.
4. What is the most frightening dream you ever had? Not long ago. I was staying over at Josh’s in Portsmouth and woke up nearly screaming. I dreamt that I went home to find my mother, grandmother, and all my pets axed to death and lying in pools of blood in different parts of the house. As I walked into the parlor, I turned around just as a figure in black was about to take the axe to the back of my head and then I screamed and woke up.
5. Is there one dream that stays clear in your mind despite the fact it was more than a few years ago? I had a recurring dream as a child about a huge gray wolf behind the garage, lying in wait to kill my grandfather.
BELIEFS
1. What is something that you used to believe, but are glad you don’t believe anymore? I guess I could say I’m glad I’m not Catholic anymore, but I guess I was never really Catholic anyway. Not in the way I’m Pagan.
2. Is there something you wish you still believed? In love.
3. What experience or person taught you the most about life? Suffering through 10 grades of school nearly broke me emotionally, given the hell they put me through. But getting into college at 16 proved that the system can be beaten and that perseverance occasionally leads to success.
4. What area of life would you like to know or understand more about? Volkswagen mechanickry (is that a word?), mostly.
5. What is your most valuable lesson about life so far? Don’t ever fall in love. It will torture you near to death before it eventually kills you.
You wake up one morning, all groggy and tired. As you stumble your way into the bathroom, you look in the mirror and find out that...
1. You’re the opposite sex. Besides the obvious playing with the new parts, what would you do? Find the nearest necktie and hang myself from the shower curtain. :-P
2. You’re someone famous. Who and why? Julie Andrews. She’s amazing in so many ways, and so very talented.
3. You’re the King (Queen) of the World (no, you’re not James Cameron). What do you do? Banish all bigots, mysoginists, homophobes, racists, and fanatics of all stripes that I have yet to name to some remote island inhabited only by man-eating spiders.
4. You’re no longer in Kansas (or this world) anymore. Where are you? Avalon.
5. You have a clone standing next to you and it’s going to work/school for you while you get to play hooky. What are you going to do today? Clean my house, work on my yard, call the structural engineer about the crack in my foundation, argue with Blue Cross about health insurance so I don’t have to take up stripping to keep my grandmother in a nursing home, work on training my dogs, and tackle some admiral about bringing Josh home sometime like yesterday.
FORTUNE COOKIE
1. What is your opinion on karma? I don’t know what I did in a past life to deserve what I’ve been through so far in this one, but I promise, I’ve cleaned up my act.
2. If anything, do you think attitude makes any difference? Sometimes. Especially with mechanics. Also short skirts.
3. How has luck/chance/facts-of-life/God/karma/nature treated you so far? I know I’m paying for terrible transgressions in a past life. I try so hard to find the good in things, and whatever little smidgens of happiness I manage to grasp get ripped out of my hands with no warning and I’m thrown back into the miserable pit that I’ve lived in forever.
4. What is your opinion of the concept of destinies? Destiny is what you make of it. Life advice: do not do whatever I did in a past life - the retribution sucks.
5. Are both bad and good things needed in order to truly live life? Absolutely - but in balance. Skewed either way, you lose perspective.
MAGIC
1) If you came upon a time machine, where would you go? Would you alter anything? I would love to go back to the days of old Lithuania, when the people lived their lives in relative peace and simplicity and believing in things like the earth and the gods and happiness. And yes, I know exactly how much the years before the Renaissance sucked quality-of-life-wise, and I don’t much care. I can deal. I’d want to single-handedly fend off the Christian Crusaders who came and burned the sacred groves, drained the sacred waters, burnt down the temples and replaced them with churches, who would run through with a sword anyone who refused to denounce their ways and join Christ, or burn them alive. But I know that altering any part of history is wrong for many reasons that I am too feeble-minded to ever understand.
2) If you managed to capture the Questing Beast, an odd combination of animal forms that is said to know the answers to all questions, what one question would you ask it? Would the answer change anything? Why? I would want to know how to get my Josh back so that we could be happy together again, forever. I would follow its advice, no matter the cost to me, assuming the method did not cause harm to anyone else. And why? Because I’m realizing that I don’t want to live without him.
3) You’ve found yourself a rather obedient genie in a bottle. Make your three wishes. Why, out of everything you could ask for, do these three win out? 1.) For a happy, resolved romantic relationship with Josh, and I won’t explain it again. 2.) For my small family to be happy for the first time in history, healthy, and financially stable enough to live; mostly because I love them, crazy though they are, and they deserve some happiness. 3.) For his freedom, of course, because I suspect he’d be happier free and probably capable of solving many of the world’s problems without waiting around for someone to wish them away.
4) Someone presents you with a working voodoo doll. Do you use it? On who, why, and to what purpose? Yes, on the one person I am willing to reject my life of positive workings for the sole purpose of making him understand the hurt he inflicted on an undeserving victim - my father. The man is a lecherous bastard and I would happily curse his dick and the rest of him to make him suffer the way he made my mother suffer. Karma be damned.
5) Pick a superpower, any superpower. What and why? How would this change your life? Omniscience. Because I’m not quite there yet.
PUDDING
1. What is the best dessert you’ve ever had? Créme Brulée at Mohonk Mountain House.
2. Is there a dessert that just plain grosses you out? Not a huge fan of tiramisu and I can’t STAND cannolis.
3. Straight out of the container or with lots of toppings .... tell us how you like your ice cream. I hardly ever eat ice cream. However, depression and Josh’s company usually involves a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, and an outing in the summer usually involves a sundae with peanut butter.
4. Cookie dough, brownie mix, cake batter or the finished products? I’m a sucker for cookie dough, but usually the finished stuff.
5. You’ve just invented a great new dessert .... what’s in it and what is it called? My own trifle recipe uses rum-soaked cupcake, whipped cream made fresh with sherry and rosewater and sugar, strawberries, blueberries, and raspberries. Slight variation on 19th-century trifle.
SUMMER
1. What is your favorite summer activity? Wow. I actually don’t do anything all that different. Grazing my raspberry bush?
2. What was one great thing you did this summer? Last summer? I came up with a new, easy way to pump out my garden pond using the wet-dry vac.
3. When you were a child, what was your favorite summer activity? Reading?
4. What has been your favorite summer vacation? Vermont and long weekends in Saratoga last year. NOT the trip(s) to Charleston. Those just hurt.
5. Summer goes well into September, but when do you feel like it is over? When it’s too cold to drink iced coffee (read: repeatedly below 60).
ALIENS
1. If you were an alien visiting Earth where would you come from? Somewhere else?
2. How would you get here and how long would it take? In some form of vehicle, and however long it takes to cross an expanse of space in science fiction.
3. What would you do or say when you got here? You folks are egotists extraordinaire, thinking you’re the only ones out there.
4. What would be your best judgment about Earth and what would be your worst judgment about Earth? It’s beautiful and being killed by its inhabitants.
5. What would you look like? I think I’d like to be lilac.
CLOTHING
1) Of everything in your wardrobe what do you feel the most comfortable wearing? Why? Physically, I suppose my pink fuzzy pants and my purple fuzzy slippers. In public, anything that makes me look presentable.
2) How would you describe your style? Classic, I suppose, with trendy bits thrown in and lots of decollétage.
3) How many pairs of shoes do you own and do you wear them all? Everyday shoes, cold weather: dark gray loafer heels, brown oxford heels, black Skechers flats, black and white Skechers sneakers (leftover from my valet days), black knee boots, tawny calf boots. Everyday shoes, warm weather: black slides, brown slides, straw sandals, Birkenstocks. Work shoes, all seasons: pretty black pumps, pretty brown pumps, sensible black heels, black 30s-style heels, black-and-white tweed and patent leather pumps. Formals: black strappy sandals, white strappy sandals, silver strappy sandals, black strappy stilettos. Miscellaneous: Wolverine workboots banished to porch due to stench, winter boots, riding boots (2 pairs paddock, 1 pair dress). So 24, and mostly. Not to mention my beloved purple fuzzy slippers.
4) Where do you buy most of your clothes? Express, the Limited, NY&Co, American Eagle, Gap, Kohl’s.
5) What was the last piece of clothing you bought? An obscenely low-cut v-neck olive green shirt that I actually got for free due to a refund card at Express that I plan to wear on my lunch date tomorrow. :-)
MUSIC
1) Who was your favorite band/musican when you were younger? Fleetwood Mac.
2) Why? They play such an amazing variety of original stuff.
3) Are they still your favorite/one of your favorites? Always.
4) What is your favorite of their songs? “Rhiannon”
5) Are there any specific lyrics you hold dear? From anyone? From “Rhiannon:” “Dreams unwind, love’s a state of mind.” From “Ordinary Morning:” “It’s just an ordinary morning/it’s just an ordinary day//And I’m just an ordinary woman/slipping away.” From “Last Midnight,” Into the Woods: “I’m the hitch, I’m what no one believes, I’m the Witch.” All of Nickelback’s “Someday” and Amy Grant’s “The Feeling I Had.”
HANDWRITING
1. What color ink pen do you like best? Black, usually.
2. Do you prefer plain paper or paper with lines (notebook paper)? I’m a neat freak when it comes to the written word. Lines, please.
3. What’s better: books from the library, or reading online? Real books, naturally.
4. Which would you rather get, e-mail or snail mail? Email is great, but there’s something to be said for the old-fashioned way now and again.
5. Do you have a paper weight on your desk? Some funky glass thing that’s been kicking around forever.
KISSES
1) Do you remember your first kiss? Mm. It was a long time ago.
2) How old were you when you had your first kiss? 13
3) Where did your first kiss occur? Sitting on the lawn of my middle school.
4) Where do you think is the most romantic place to exchange a kiss? Lying in bed at sunup when you’re still half asleep.
5) What type of kisser are you? Reportedly a very good one...
Pick one and explain why...
1. Would you rather earn more money or have more time off? Right now, I have no money and tons of time off. A little more balance would be fabulous.
2. Which is more important, the ends or the means? [Sigh] The means, of course. (”If the end is right, it justifies the beans.” - The Baker’s Wife)
3. How are our personalities formed, by nature or through nurture? Personalities are a mix. Some things are not.
4. Who do you feel closer to, your mother or your father? Obviously my mother, as I told my father to go screw years ago and I doubt I’ll talk to him again while there’s breath in my body.
5. Why do you answer these silly questions, out of boredom or out of love of introspection? Almost always boredom - but this one is actually deeper than most.
EVERYDAY
1. What is the creepiest everyday object you know? My wrought-iron dagger letter opener.
2. What’s the most useful everyday item? Coffee pot.
3. What’s the most useless everday item? My dogs? Er, no, um...
4. If the power was out for 24 hours, what would you do? Catch up on long-lost sleep.
5. If you had to have one item you use everyday surgically attached to you, what would it be, and why? My coffee mug, naturally. Because I’m an addict.
There’s a movie being made about your life! Which celebrity will play...
1. you? Why? I’d love to say Catherine Zeta-Jones because she’s wonderful and amazing and talented and, oh, wait...that means she wouldn’t be playing me.
2. your love interest? Why? Well, I’m presently in love with Russell Crowe and Jerry O’Connell. Either. But neither looks much like Josh.
3. your best friend? Why? Someone tall and thin and bendy like Jen.
4. your enemy? Why? That asshole who plays Dog the Bounty Hunter on A&E, as he looks frighteningly like my father.
5. any family member? Why? Heh. Diana Rigg as my mother. Yes.
1. What did you want to be when you grew up? I didn’t want to be anything. I knew I would be an English teacher, because it was practical and allow me to take care of my grandparents, mother, and house.
2. Who was your favorite person to do things with (excluding your parents)? Sara or Denise.
3. Did you love school or did you hate it? Academically, I vacillated between frustration and adoration. Socially, I was worse than an outcast and loathed school.
4. Was your family close? We were different. I was at the beginning of the wave of “divorced children.” I was also first-generation American in a bilingual house in an age cohort and social situation that did not understand the “old country.”
5. Did you think that being an adult would be cool? I’ve been told I was X-age-going-on-30 since I was four or five. I don’t remember not being an adult, although I did think for some time that once I turned six, I would know everything.
DREAMS
1. What was the last dream that you had about? I was walking home from the gym on Lincoln Street carrying a wet towel that I’d borrowed from the MIQ, who was living on St. Nicholas Avenue. I got there and noticed another woman’s car in the driveway (and it was the middle of the night), and we had an altercation in the driveway over the fact that I hadn’t laundered the towel. Then I walked the rest of the way down St. Nicholas Avenue to discover that all the houses in the valley were gone and there was a festival going on there instead. Quite bizarre.
2. Does it hold any significant meaning to you? I think the fact that I’d gone swimming, gone home via St. Nick with a wet towel, and had an entire bowl of sour cream and chive mashed potatoes shortly before bed had something to do with it.
3. Do you dream in color or black and white? Usually color.
4. What is the most frightening dream you ever had? Not long ago. I was staying over at Josh’s in Portsmouth and woke up nearly screaming. I dreamt that I went home to find my mother, grandmother, and all my pets axed to death and lying in pools of blood in different parts of the house. As I walked into the parlor, I turned around just as a figure in black was about to take the axe to the back of my head and then I screamed and woke up.
5. Is there one dream that stays clear in your mind despite the fact it was more than a few years ago? I had a recurring dream as a child about a huge gray wolf behind the garage, lying in wait to kill my grandfather.
BELIEFS
1. What is something that you used to believe, but are glad you don’t believe anymore? I guess I could say I’m glad I’m not Catholic anymore, but I guess I was never really Catholic anyway. Not in the way I’m Pagan.
2. Is there something you wish you still believed? In love.
3. What experience or person taught you the most about life? Suffering through 10 grades of school nearly broke me emotionally, given the hell they put me through. But getting into college at 16 proved that the system can be beaten and that perseverance occasionally leads to success.
4. What area of life would you like to know or understand more about? Volkswagen mechanickry (is that a word?), mostly.
5. What is your most valuable lesson about life so far? Don’t ever fall in love. It will torture you near to death before it eventually kills you.
You wake up one morning, all groggy and tired. As you stumble your way into the bathroom, you look in the mirror and find out that...
1. You’re the opposite sex. Besides the obvious playing with the new parts, what would you do? Find the nearest necktie and hang myself from the shower curtain. :-P
2. You’re someone famous. Who and why? Julie Andrews. She’s amazing in so many ways, and so very talented.
3. You’re the King (Queen) of the World (no, you’re not James Cameron). What do you do? Banish all bigots, mysoginists, homophobes, racists, and fanatics of all stripes that I have yet to name to some remote island inhabited only by man-eating spiders.
4. You’re no longer in Kansas (or this world) anymore. Where are you? Avalon.
5. You have a clone standing next to you and it’s going to work/school for you while you get to play hooky. What are you going to do today? Clean my house, work on my yard, call the structural engineer about the crack in my foundation, argue with Blue Cross about health insurance so I don’t have to take up stripping to keep my grandmother in a nursing home, work on training my dogs, and tackle some admiral about bringing Josh home sometime like yesterday.
FORTUNE COOKIE
1. What is your opinion on karma? I don’t know what I did in a past life to deserve what I’ve been through so far in this one, but I promise, I’ve cleaned up my act.
2. If anything, do you think attitude makes any difference? Sometimes. Especially with mechanics. Also short skirts.
3. How has luck/chance/facts-of-life/God/karma/nature treated you so far? I know I’m paying for terrible transgressions in a past life. I try so hard to find the good in things, and whatever little smidgens of happiness I manage to grasp get ripped out of my hands with no warning and I’m thrown back into the miserable pit that I’ve lived in forever.
4. What is your opinion of the concept of destinies? Destiny is what you make of it. Life advice: do not do whatever I did in a past life - the retribution sucks.
5. Are both bad and good things needed in order to truly live life? Absolutely - but in balance. Skewed either way, you lose perspective.
MAGIC
1) If you came upon a time machine, where would you go? Would you alter anything? I would love to go back to the days of old Lithuania, when the people lived their lives in relative peace and simplicity and believing in things like the earth and the gods and happiness. And yes, I know exactly how much the years before the Renaissance sucked quality-of-life-wise, and I don’t much care. I can deal. I’d want to single-handedly fend off the Christian Crusaders who came and burned the sacred groves, drained the sacred waters, burnt down the temples and replaced them with churches, who would run through with a sword anyone who refused to denounce their ways and join Christ, or burn them alive. But I know that altering any part of history is wrong for many reasons that I am too feeble-minded to ever understand.
2) If you managed to capture the Questing Beast, an odd combination of animal forms that is said to know the answers to all questions, what one question would you ask it? Would the answer change anything? Why? I would want to know how to get my Josh back so that we could be happy together again, forever. I would follow its advice, no matter the cost to me, assuming the method did not cause harm to anyone else. And why? Because I’m realizing that I don’t want to live without him.
3) You’ve found yourself a rather obedient genie in a bottle. Make your three wishes. Why, out of everything you could ask for, do these three win out? 1.) For a happy, resolved romantic relationship with Josh, and I won’t explain it again. 2.) For my small family to be happy for the first time in history, healthy, and financially stable enough to live; mostly because I love them, crazy though they are, and they deserve some happiness. 3.) For his freedom, of course, because I suspect he’d be happier free and probably capable of solving many of the world’s problems without waiting around for someone to wish them away.
4) Someone presents you with a working voodoo doll. Do you use it? On who, why, and to what purpose? Yes, on the one person I am willing to reject my life of positive workings for the sole purpose of making him understand the hurt he inflicted on an undeserving victim - my father. The man is a lecherous bastard and I would happily curse his dick and the rest of him to make him suffer the way he made my mother suffer. Karma be damned.
5) Pick a superpower, any superpower. What and why? How would this change your life? Omniscience. Because I’m not quite there yet.
PUDDING
1. What is the best dessert you’ve ever had? Créme Brulée at Mohonk Mountain House.
2. Is there a dessert that just plain grosses you out? Not a huge fan of tiramisu and I can’t STAND cannolis.
3. Straight out of the container or with lots of toppings .... tell us how you like your ice cream. I hardly ever eat ice cream. However, depression and Josh’s company usually involves a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, and an outing in the summer usually involves a sundae with peanut butter.
4. Cookie dough, brownie mix, cake batter or the finished products? I’m a sucker for cookie dough, but usually the finished stuff.
5. You’ve just invented a great new dessert .... what’s in it and what is it called? My own trifle recipe uses rum-soaked cupcake, whipped cream made fresh with sherry and rosewater and sugar, strawberries, blueberries, and raspberries. Slight variation on 19th-century trifle.
SUMMER
1. What is your favorite summer activity? Wow. I actually don’t do anything all that different. Grazing my raspberry bush?
2. What was one great thing you did this summer? Last summer? I came up with a new, easy way to pump out my garden pond using the wet-dry vac.
3. When you were a child, what was your favorite summer activity? Reading?
4. What has been your favorite summer vacation? Vermont and long weekends in Saratoga last year. NOT the trip(s) to Charleston. Those just hurt.
5. Summer goes well into September, but when do you feel like it is over? When it’s too cold to drink iced coffee (read: repeatedly below 60).
ALIENS
1. If you were an alien visiting Earth where would you come from? Somewhere else?
2. How would you get here and how long would it take? In some form of vehicle, and however long it takes to cross an expanse of space in science fiction.
3. What would you do or say when you got here? You folks are egotists extraordinaire, thinking you’re the only ones out there.
4. What would be your best judgment about Earth and what would be your worst judgment about Earth? It’s beautiful and being killed by its inhabitants.
5. What would you look like? I think I’d like to be lilac.
CLOTHING
1) Of everything in your wardrobe what do you feel the most comfortable wearing? Why? Physically, I suppose my pink fuzzy pants and my purple fuzzy slippers. In public, anything that makes me look presentable.
2) How would you describe your style? Classic, I suppose, with trendy bits thrown in and lots of decollétage.
3) How many pairs of shoes do you own and do you wear them all? Everyday shoes, cold weather: dark gray loafer heels, brown oxford heels, black Skechers flats, black and white Skechers sneakers (leftover from my valet days), black knee boots, tawny calf boots. Everyday shoes, warm weather: black slides, brown slides, straw sandals, Birkenstocks. Work shoes, all seasons: pretty black pumps, pretty brown pumps, sensible black heels, black 30s-style heels, black-and-white tweed and patent leather pumps. Formals: black strappy sandals, white strappy sandals, silver strappy sandals, black strappy stilettos. Miscellaneous: Wolverine workboots banished to porch due to stench, winter boots, riding boots (2 pairs paddock, 1 pair dress). So 24, and mostly. Not to mention my beloved purple fuzzy slippers.
4) Where do you buy most of your clothes? Express, the Limited, NY&Co, American Eagle, Gap, Kohl’s.
5) What was the last piece of clothing you bought? An obscenely low-cut v-neck olive green shirt that I actually got for free due to a refund card at Express that I plan to wear on my lunch date tomorrow. :-)
MUSIC
1) Who was your favorite band/musican when you were younger? Fleetwood Mac.
2) Why? They play such an amazing variety of original stuff.
3) Are they still your favorite/one of your favorites? Always.
4) What is your favorite of their songs? “Rhiannon”
5) Are there any specific lyrics you hold dear? From anyone? From “Rhiannon:” “Dreams unwind, love’s a state of mind.” From “Ordinary Morning:” “It’s just an ordinary morning/it’s just an ordinary day//And I’m just an ordinary woman/slipping away.” From “Last Midnight,” Into the Woods: “I’m the hitch, I’m what no one believes, I’m the Witch.” All of Nickelback’s “Someday” and Amy Grant’s “The Feeling I Had.”
HANDWRITING
1. What color ink pen do you like best? Black, usually.
2. Do you prefer plain paper or paper with lines (notebook paper)? I’m a neat freak when it comes to the written word. Lines, please.
3. What’s better: books from the library, or reading online? Real books, naturally.
4. Which would you rather get, e-mail or snail mail? Email is great, but there’s something to be said for the old-fashioned way now and again.
5. Do you have a paper weight on your desk? Some funky glass thing that’s been kicking around forever.
KISSES
1) Do you remember your first kiss? Mm. It was a long time ago.
2) How old were you when you had your first kiss? 13
3) Where did your first kiss occur? Sitting on the lawn of my middle school.
4) Where do you think is the most romantic place to exchange a kiss? Lying in bed at sunup when you’re still half asleep.
5) What type of kisser are you? Reportedly a very good one...
Pick one and explain why...
1. Would you rather earn more money or have more time off? Right now, I have no money and tons of time off. A little more balance would be fabulous.
2. Which is more important, the ends or the means? [Sigh] The means, of course. (”If the end is right, it justifies the beans.” - The Baker’s Wife)
3. How are our personalities formed, by nature or through nurture? Personalities are a mix. Some things are not.
4. Who do you feel closer to, your mother or your father? Obviously my mother, as I told my father to go screw years ago and I doubt I’ll talk to him again while there’s breath in my body.
5. Why do you answer these silly questions, out of boredom or out of love of introspection? Almost always boredom - but this one is actually deeper than most.
EVERYDAY
1. What is the creepiest everyday object you know? My wrought-iron dagger letter opener.
2. What’s the most useful everyday item? Coffee pot.
3. What’s the most useless everday item? My dogs? Er, no, um...
4. If the power was out for 24 hours, what would you do? Catch up on long-lost sleep.
5. If you had to have one item you use everyday surgically attached to you, what would it be, and why? My coffee mug, naturally. Because I’m an addict.
There’s a movie being made about your life! Which celebrity will play...
1. you? Why? I’d love to say Catherine Zeta-Jones because she’s wonderful and amazing and talented and, oh, wait...that means she wouldn’t be playing me.
2. your love interest? Why? Well, I’m presently in love with Russell Crowe and Jerry O’Connell. Either. But neither looks much like Josh.
3. your best friend? Why? Someone tall and thin and bendy like Jen.
4. your enemy? Why? That asshole who plays Dog the Bounty Hunter on A&E, as he looks frighteningly like my father.
5. any family member? Why? Heh. Diana Rigg as my mother. Yes.