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Jan 12, 2005 18:12


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Maki here anonymous January 13 2005, 01:33:03 UTC
me like...very well written. <3 Maki

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mperezrosas January 13 2005, 15:42:25 UTC
Ahaha, the ending is great. The tone is consistent, which is a good thing. The essay in general is well-written, but there's something peculiar about this sentence:

If I thought anyone would understand what that has anything to do with being profound or intellectual (two words I don’t think anyone has ever associated with reality television) I’d leave it there, but seeing as the percentage of us reality stars is so slim in the world I’m guessing you don’t and that the answer surprised you somewhat.

"...the percentage of us reality stars is so slim in the world..."? Sounds kind of off. Not quite sure. The sentence itself seems a bit jumbled; maybe you can divide it with a semicolon? I don't know.

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daydreamer67 January 14 2005, 02:53:35 UTC
I like it a lot. Personally, I probably wouldn't use "you" in an essay, but it doesn't seem totally out of place here. good job ally with a star. memories in stricks class... : )
smile girlie

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w00t w00t anonymous January 14 2005, 18:42:28 UTC
youre awesome!!!! I love that I'm semi-included (even tho I didnt even go to the Dalai Lama thing) its awesome. . . I'm so proud of you.

<3 britt

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