[Frontdated to February 7th, After the tags are gathered]
We interrupt this broadcast and your regularly scheduled D-Comm time to bring you TETHA FIVE NEWS!
Now more reliable than The Digital World Weekly. Digital print is dead, suckers!
Filling in for Tom Penmon, Guest Anchor and Bombyou Weather Forecaster, Ollie Bomber Nanimon.
[The lights in the studio turn on, revealing Ollie BomberNanimon sorting papers at the news desk. He notices the camera is on, stares right at it, and gives discreet clear of his throat.]
[Beloved Weather Mon and Anchor, Ollie BomberNanimon]
IT'S ARMAGEDDON!
[He turns in his chair and points to a screen.]
SYLVIA! TALK ABOUT TETHA!
[Fanservice Correspondent Sylvia Shutumon]
Thank you, Ollie. I'm here in Tetha where the entire island has just suffered a major earthquake. Ironic when you consider that Tetha is an airborne city, not located on any faults.
We are standing atop the bleachers of the Phoenix Colosseum, and if you look carefully, you can see that the ground all around this stadium is starting to crack and split ominously.
[The camera whirls to zoom in on long gouges forming in the rock, before turning back to Sylvia Shutumon. The cameraman can be heard uttering "Ummm..." from out of sight. Then, ominously, the cracking starts turning audible and the camera starts to shake.]
That cracking you hear is likely this part of the island breaking away, where it will suffer at gravity's cruel hands. And you may be noticing that the camera is beginning to shake. This is because the portion of Tetha that we're standing on has just broken free of the rest of the island, and is proving the human scientist Sir Isaac Newton correct. Fortunately for this reporter, I can fly.
[Shutumon lifts off from the ground, while the camera remains in place. The cameraman drops the camera, and fading sounds of cursing can be heard, accompanied by the growing rush of winds]
Back you you, Ollie.
[Beloved Weather Mon and Rushed Anchor, Ollie BomberNanimon]
TETHA'S BREAKING UP!
NOW, TIDAL WAVES IN AXORYI! YOU GO VADO!
[Ollie spins and points to another screen excitedly]
[World Conqueror Action Correspondent Vado Vadermon]
THANK YOU, OLLIE. YOUR DEATH WILL BE SWIFT AND MERCIFUL.
I WAS SAMPLING THE MISERABLE SEASIDE DINING OF AXORYI WHEN THE EARTH SHOOK. IMMEDIATELY, I GRABBED AN EXPERT ON THE SCENE TO DEMAND THAT HE INFORM ME OF WHAT THIS COULD MEAN LEST I DESTROY HIM IN A MAELSTROM OF KINETIC FURY.
[Axoryi Tamer and Seismologist]
Psy... duck? PSY! Psyduck Psyduck!
[Action Correspondent Vado Vadermon]
TRULY, A DIRE WARNING. I LEFT THE FLESHLING TO HIS RESEARCH AND MOVED TO HIGHER GROUND, WHERE I AND THE PUNY CAMERAMAN ARE WATCHING THE FIRST OF MANY WAVES APPROACHING THE HARBOR!
[The camera turns towards the Axoryi docks, where many large waves are visible in the distance as they approach the harbor city.]
THIS IS A DARK DAY FOR THIS PEACEFUL COASTAL TOWN. BACK TO YOU, OLLIE. MAKE YOUR PEACE WITH YGGDRASIL!
[Beloved Weathermon and Terrible Anchor, Ollie BomberNanimon]
IT'S GONNA GET WET!
NOW, NEON CITY! LINDA! WHAT'S UP?!
[Once again, Ollie turns in his chair and points to a screen]
[Anchorwomon Linda Angewomon, On Location]
Ollie! It's chaos here! Do you know what's happened, Ollie?!
HOW WOULD I KNOW?!
You're safe in the studio, aren't you?!
YUP!
There's rioting here! We don't know what's happened! The ground is splitting open, entire buildings are being swallowed whole! What could have caused this?!
I'M ASKIN' YOU!
You're useless, Ollie! USELESS!
LEAST I'M NOT IN A RIOT! BACK TO ME!
[Beloved Weathermon and Disgraced Anchor, Ollie BomberNanimon]
DIGITAL WORLD'S DOOMED!
...
...
You can't close with that!
WHY NOT?!
It sounds hopeless! It'll kill our ratings!
IT'S TRUE!
Say something to comfort our viewers!
SAY YOUR PRAYERS!
THAT'S IT! I QUIT! WE CAN'T SAVE THIS BROADCAST!