Application for T-Rex, Dinosaur Comics
A thirty-foot-tall, bright green talking Tyrannosaurus Rex appears outside the gates. "Oh my goodness! I seem to have been transported to an alternate dimension, just like Utahraptor that one time!" T-Rex gasps. That's what he assumes must have happened, anyway, until he looks around and realizes that a.) nobody has a goatee and b.) everything is tiny! What has happened?!
Mickey coughs theatrically. "'What is your name?'"
"Hey! It's Mickey Mouse! Hi, Mickey Mouse! I'm T-Rex. I ask what the haps are."
"What is your quest?" asks the Cat. It's perched, suddenly, on the roof of one of the gate-stiles.
"Forget quests! They're for lame fantasy stories! Everyone knows SCI-FI is where it's at! Why don't you ask me what my Death Star is instead?"
"'What is the average w..?'" Mickey frowns down at the notebook. "You know, I don't really see why that's important." He flips a page. "'If you could be granted three wishes, what would they be?'"
"Utahraptor and I talked about this once! At the time, I said think I'd just save them. Can I do that? It'd be kind of nice to think that I'd just have wishes to save for when I need them. So If I things ever got really bad, I'd have a way out." There's a beat. "Or I'd wish for happy women with steaks! Or for my creepy cephalopod neighbors to go away..."
"Or," the Cat says, examining its tail with interest, "if you were a genie and someone you were trying to give three wishes to was trying to trick you into giving him more, what would you say?"
"I guess it depends on his specific situation, and what he wants the extra wishes for. Maybe he has a sick little sister and he needs the extra wish to save her life? But then why didn't he use one of his first three wishes to save her if she's so gosh-darned important to him? Is his sister not good enough for one of this three wishes?! Maybe he doesn't even have a sister. Maybe he's just lying so I'll give him extra wishes. He thinks he can trick me! Man, forget you, lying imaginary wishes dude!"
Mickey looks rather nonplused at the next, but reads, "'When the revolution comes, what skills will you be able to barter for food?'"
"If someone needed something stomped, I guess I could stomp it for them!" T-Rex demonstrates by stomping the ground. "Stomping for food? PRETTY MUCH MY DREAM JOB!"
The Cat rolls its eyes in a friendly (and rather disconcertingly out-of-sync) way, and asks, "Milk, dark, or white chocolate?"
CHOCOHOLICS COMICS
"'Chocoholics' are what people like to call themselves because they like chocolate! A lot! They just can't get enough of chocolate! It's a play on being an 'alcoholic,' except being a 'chocoholic' is much more fun. Personally, I'm a MEATAHOLIC. I just can't get enough of extremely delicious meat!"
"'Choose the two coolest: robots, pirates, fairies, bears, ninjas, monkeys, vampires, or humans,'" says Mickey, giggling a bit as he goes through the list. "'Explain.'"
"H-Hey... how come there aren't any T-Rexes on your list?" T-Rex looks a bit sad, and would probably look sadder if he was capable of more than six facial expressions. "Because T-Rexes are radical! Everyone wants to be a T-Rex like me! There is NOTHING BETTER than being a T-Rex!"
"Great!" Mickey flips through the blank pages of the notebook at top, cartoon-y speed. "Well, I think that's just about it! Oh, and I'm supposed to ask, 'for your safety: are you carrying anything sharp?'"
"I am carrying my teeth! They're sharp!"
Mickey coughs theatrically. "'What is your name?'"
"Hey! It's Mickey Mouse! Hi, Mickey Mouse! I'm T-Rex. I ask what the haps are."
"What is your quest?" asks the Cat. It's perched, suddenly, on the roof of one of the gate-stiles.
"Forget quests! They're for lame fantasy stories! Everyone knows SCI-FI is where it's at! Why don't you ask me what my Death Star is instead?"
"'What is the average w..?'" Mickey frowns down at the notebook. "You know, I don't really see why that's important." He flips a page. "'If you could be granted three wishes, what would they be?'"
"Utahraptor and I talked about this once! At the time, I said think I'd just save them. Can I do that? It'd be kind of nice to think that I'd just have wishes to save for when I need them. So If I things ever got really bad, I'd have a way out." There's a beat. "Or I'd wish for happy women with steaks! Or for my creepy cephalopod neighbors to go away..."
"Or," the Cat says, examining its tail with interest, "if you were a genie and someone you were trying to give three wishes to was trying to trick you into giving him more, what would you say?"
"I guess it depends on his specific situation, and what he wants the extra wishes for. Maybe he has a sick little sister and he needs the extra wish to save her life? But then why didn't he use one of his first three wishes to save her if she's so gosh-darned important to him? Is his sister not good enough for one of this three wishes?! Maybe he doesn't even have a sister. Maybe he's just lying so I'll give him extra wishes. He thinks he can trick me! Man, forget you, lying imaginary wishes dude!"
Mickey looks rather nonplused at the next, but reads, "'When the revolution comes, what skills will you be able to barter for food?'"
"If someone needed something stomped, I guess I could stomp it for them!" T-Rex demonstrates by stomping the ground. "Stomping for food? PRETTY MUCH MY DREAM JOB!"
The Cat rolls its eyes in a friendly (and rather disconcertingly out-of-sync) way, and asks, "Milk, dark, or white chocolate?"
CHOCOHOLICS COMICS
"'Chocoholics' are what people like to call themselves because they like chocolate! A lot! They just can't get enough of chocolate! It's a play on being an 'alcoholic,' except being a 'chocoholic' is much more fun. Personally, I'm a MEATAHOLIC. I just can't get enough of extremely delicious meat!"
"'Choose the two coolest: robots, pirates, fairies, bears, ninjas, monkeys, vampires, or humans,'" says Mickey, giggling a bit as he goes through the list. "'Explain.'"
"H-Hey... how come there aren't any T-Rexes on your list?" T-Rex looks a bit sad, and would probably look sadder if he was capable of more than six facial expressions. "Because T-Rexes are radical! Everyone wants to be a T-Rex like me! There is NOTHING BETTER than being a T-Rex!"
"Great!" Mickey flips through the blank pages of the notebook at top, cartoon-y speed. "Well, I think that's just about it! Oh, and I'm supposed to ask, 'for your safety: are you carrying anything sharp?'"
"I am carrying my teeth! They're sharp!"