[SCI, 8x1] What's Missing?

[dizzydog]

Comments

[tigrkittn]

I love how this came out! Still quick but good flow, and a great final punchline - adds retroactive spooky!

[mymisguided]

I liked this; the way you worked in the prompt was creative, all of the characters have their own quirks, and it was a fun story to read. I agree with tigrkittn that the breaks aren't really necessary... (it might be a 'me' thing, though, they're very visually prominent, and if you kept them it might look better to have them centered? I dunno)

Glad to see you back! =)

[dizzydog]

Thanks! I tried on my edit pass to take out the breaks and it felt a bit jarring, and I had no time to fill in the gaps a bit. Maybe after I'll voting I'll circle around and see what I can do with this :D

[lrig_rorrim]

I really liked this! It's subtle but effective, and the ending is perfect!

[dizzydog]

Thank you, glad you liked it! I was hoping I wasn't TOO subtle, it's burned me in the past :)

[roadnotes]

Subtle and creepy.

[dizzydog]

Thanks! I like both those words for this week :D

[karmasoup]

Absolutely fabulous. Brilliant use of the prompt, you've managed to create a puzzle in this piece, with a touch of malevolent mischief. Excellent work!

[dizzydog]

Whee, thanks! :D