Feeling better already...
I feel so lazy but I obviously needed sleep. I went to bed at 10 last night! If that doesn't say how shitty I was feeling then I don't know what will. I love falling asleep beside her and snuggling. Also, we had sex so that probably helped falling asleep be a lot easier too lol. I can't get over how happy I am. I don't fight with her. We don't argue or have any problems. Not saying that we never will, but it's been almost 2 mths and nothing. It's refreshing. It's nice to be with someone who cares.
This weekend is going to be awesome. We're gonna go for a walk on this little trail on Saturday. I can't wait! I'm gonna bring my camera and we're gonna take pictures together because we haven't in a while. I want to take pics of her. She's so incredibly beautiful and I want to capture that and keep it forever. I feel so inspired when I'm with her. She makes me wanna be so much better and I feel so alive when we're together.
I haven't had an anxiety attack or panic attack in a long time. I never thought I would be able to say that. I was reading over my old LJ entries, and I was having them everyday a year ago. I remember crying so hard that my body hurt. I remember taking pills and numbing myself so I couldn't feel anymore. I didn't want to live back then and that scares me. I'm so glad I didn't give up. I'm so glad that I found a reason to stick around. Life is so amazing now. I may not have a lot of money, or the best car or anything like that. But I've never been a materialistic person so those things don't matter to me anyways. I do however have my health both mental and physical, a loving family, a loving girlfriend who is always there for me, a great group of friends, and an awesome job.
I feel like I want to do something crazy. I think I wanna start by dying my hair all bright red. I also want to gauge my ears, and I want a new tattoo. I decided I want Evanescence lyrics. I want "Am I too lost, to be saved?" I don't know where I want it yet. maybe on the inside of my right forearm? Idk, just something about those lyrics struck a chord w me and I really want them. Maybe my next paycheck? I think I'll do my ears and get my tatt. That would make me super happy!
This weekend is going to be awesome. We're gonna go for a walk on this little trail on Saturday. I can't wait! I'm gonna bring my camera and we're gonna take pictures together because we haven't in a while. I want to take pics of her. She's so incredibly beautiful and I want to capture that and keep it forever. I feel so inspired when I'm with her. She makes me wanna be so much better and I feel so alive when we're together.
I haven't had an anxiety attack or panic attack in a long time. I never thought I would be able to say that. I was reading over my old LJ entries, and I was having them everyday a year ago. I remember crying so hard that my body hurt. I remember taking pills and numbing myself so I couldn't feel anymore. I didn't want to live back then and that scares me. I'm so glad I didn't give up. I'm so glad that I found a reason to stick around. Life is so amazing now. I may not have a lot of money, or the best car or anything like that. But I've never been a materialistic person so those things don't matter to me anyways. I do however have my health both mental and physical, a loving family, a loving girlfriend who is always there for me, a great group of friends, and an awesome job.
I feel like I want to do something crazy. I think I wanna start by dying my hair all bright red. I also want to gauge my ears, and I want a new tattoo. I decided I want Evanescence lyrics. I want "Am I too lost, to be saved?" I don't know where I want it yet. maybe on the inside of my right forearm? Idk, just something about those lyrics struck a chord w me and I really want them. Maybe my next paycheck? I think I'll do my ears and get my tatt. That would make me super happy!