Go Rest, Tenku! Failure, As Usual...
Remind me not to play DDR, or even get near it. I will possibly kill myself playing it. Or did I do that already?
So, ever since I came back with the aforementioned illness, I felt like I was well enough to at least play some. Stubborn? Maybe. Downright stupid? Possibly.
What brought this on is that there is the DDR tournament up in Birmingham next week --all of us knew this for quite a while, like a month -- and of course, everyone is going. Did I mention that we're all Heavy players? Yeah... well, anyway, the reason I'm going is that there is actually a Girls' bracket -- Standard and Heavy. Oh, I could do the Standard, but why should I skimp myself and my friends out on this? No, I'm doing Heavy.
To better myself in a faster way, I've been doing Nonstop Random on Difficult. If you're not familiar with that here's the thing. Nonstop is just what it means, Nonstop; you choose a course of 4 songs, some of them specific. You can still set mods, unlike in Oni mode to your liking. You can only choose Normal and Difficult. Depending on what course, Normal is basically Light/Standard and maybe an Oni song thrown in there for good measure. Difficult is both Heavy/Oni. Random, it's either all Heavy songs, 1 Oni 3 Heavy, 2 Oni 2 Heavy, but never 3 or all Oni.
For whatever reason, I've been getting 4H, and I think, ok, there could be a chance they could be easy or hard... or random. There has been some epic choices. Long story short, I'd get winded on the first song. Now, it would be a 5/6/7 footer, easy to pass ordinarily with no problem. The second song I would either have to get help or fail out completely. The fact that I am just refusing to put it on 1.5x because I can read 2x, its like a... bad handicap. I would be left coughing for 5 minutes straight.
See, everyone has gotten near the end or in Trent's case finished Paranoia Survivor on Heavy (with a A no less...) and I can't even pass Maxx Unlimited on Standard (but pass Saints as long as I don't panic on the crossovers. It strikes me as backwards) and I haven't done Max 300 in a while, so ... either way, officially, I've only passed one boss song on Standard. Everyone else is full-fledged Heavy. I'm...falling behind on this. Of course, if it ever comes up or at least a hard 9 I'll be prepared, at least get through a goo chunk of the song.
All of talks about who was better, when we decide to hold it (towards the end of the semester)... of course, I definiately wasn't in contention by any means, but I kept hearing about this "amazing" girl who can like AA Max 300 or some shit like that. I've never even see another girl with my type of skill -- not to sound arrogant, just saying. But, this was starting to piss me off and at the same time second guess myself. Obviously, there was a Girls' bracket for a reason... I'm not expecting any like wussification (that would be like, misognynist or however the fuck you spell it), but at the same time, I'm not expecting like... well, "amazing". I got jealous, I'll admit.
I know I'm sick, and being constantly told that I should just sit out the whole week... I know I shouldn't try to seek validation, because it's just petty but, I just got extremely pissed off. So, I got some quarters and... the first song was, I think, was... well, it wasn't hard, but I got extremely winded. Sweet Sweet <3 Magic came up. It's a 9. A hard 9 at that. At first, I thought, what the fuck. I considered asking for help, but, I've done that so many times, I was getting tired of it. The pad was actually a bit slippery for whatever reason. But, I planted my feet firmly on the arrows and braced myself.
The song really is that hard. I've only seen it a handful of times, but I knew enough that there was some dickery (the short .2 pause in the middle of the song). There were many points in the song that I should have failed, due to the fact that I am extremely weak on crossovers, especially of the LUR and vice versa -- no problem on the LDR or the variation, and I'm forced to shuffle or double step, or shuffle double step... and that takes a lot more energy than needed. Even losing place in a crossover stream is just instant death. Or cross over gallops. I can't... I just can't. I almost passed it, but the thing, my lungs and my legs were telling me to stop and my brain just forced me to slip up.
I got angry at myself and everyone, and yet I still had a sliver left. I wasn't gonna be percieved as being weak because I couldn't pass a boss song or a hard 9. (Or a 9 regardless). I almost got through it. Maybe 10 sec left. It was a little more to go. I just stopped, and I saw the game over screen. I didn't let them see my face, I sorta stormed off with my water and went towards the bus station and hid out there for a few seconds.
I tried to compose myself when I came back in... but I couldn't.
So, I cried.
I know it's a petty thing to do, considering it's just a game, but it was the pressure to at least pass a Nonstop course, even though I'm still technically sick with the occasional coughing fit... it was pent up stress and frustration that I just couldn't express in proper words. (I've never been gifted in verbal skills, lets just say that.)
I told Trent about this -- well, mumbled it because I still had my head down on the table. I told him I pretty much failed everything -- mainly because I was sick really, but this was happening before I became sick, like a few days before, and it would be songs that have crossover stream, crossovers period really. Whatever reason I can't negotiate them, and it automatically a shuffle panic. I have no way of practicing because a] my pad's down arrow is fucked and b] I don't have enough room in my room between the desk and my bed. Unless I move it.
He told me it wasn't something to be upset over, and the fact that I used to be real relunctant to play Heavy songs period when I first started playing (well, playing on the machine anyway... I haven't told that story have I? Hm) which is true... so, he said I was more than welcome to come over his place and practice.
When I feel not so winded, I'm gonna take him up on that offer.
So, ever since I came back with the aforementioned illness, I felt like I was well enough to at least play some. Stubborn? Maybe. Downright stupid? Possibly.
What brought this on is that there is the DDR tournament up in Birmingham next week --all of us knew this for quite a while, like a month -- and of course, everyone is going. Did I mention that we're all Heavy players? Yeah... well, anyway, the reason I'm going is that there is actually a Girls' bracket -- Standard and Heavy. Oh, I could do the Standard, but why should I skimp myself and my friends out on this? No, I'm doing Heavy.
To better myself in a faster way, I've been doing Nonstop Random on Difficult. If you're not familiar with that here's the thing. Nonstop is just what it means, Nonstop; you choose a course of 4 songs, some of them specific. You can still set mods, unlike in Oni mode to your liking. You can only choose Normal and Difficult. Depending on what course, Normal is basically Light/Standard and maybe an Oni song thrown in there for good measure. Difficult is both Heavy/Oni. Random, it's either all Heavy songs, 1 Oni 3 Heavy, 2 Oni 2 Heavy, but never 3 or all Oni.
For whatever reason, I've been getting 4H, and I think, ok, there could be a chance they could be easy or hard... or random. There has been some epic choices. Long story short, I'd get winded on the first song. Now, it would be a 5/6/7 footer, easy to pass ordinarily with no problem. The second song I would either have to get help or fail out completely. The fact that I am just refusing to put it on 1.5x because I can read 2x, its like a... bad handicap. I would be left coughing for 5 minutes straight.
See, everyone has gotten near the end or in Trent's case finished Paranoia Survivor on Heavy (with a A no less...) and I can't even pass Maxx Unlimited on Standard (but pass Saints as long as I don't panic on the crossovers. It strikes me as backwards) and I haven't done Max 300 in a while, so ... either way, officially, I've only passed one boss song on Standard. Everyone else is full-fledged Heavy. I'm...falling behind on this. Of course, if it ever comes up or at least a hard 9 I'll be prepared, at least get through a goo chunk of the song.
All of talks about who was better, when we decide to hold it (towards the end of the semester)... of course, I definiately wasn't in contention by any means, but I kept hearing about this "amazing" girl who can like AA Max 300 or some shit like that. I've never even see another girl with my type of skill -- not to sound arrogant, just saying. But, this was starting to piss me off and at the same time second guess myself. Obviously, there was a Girls' bracket for a reason... I'm not expecting any like wussification (that would be like, misognynist or however the fuck you spell it), but at the same time, I'm not expecting like... well, "amazing". I got jealous, I'll admit.
I know I'm sick, and being constantly told that I should just sit out the whole week... I know I shouldn't try to seek validation, because it's just petty but, I just got extremely pissed off. So, I got some quarters and... the first song was, I think, was... well, it wasn't hard, but I got extremely winded. Sweet Sweet <3 Magic came up. It's a 9. A hard 9 at that. At first, I thought, what the fuck. I considered asking for help, but, I've done that so many times, I was getting tired of it. The pad was actually a bit slippery for whatever reason. But, I planted my feet firmly on the arrows and braced myself.
The song really is that hard. I've only seen it a handful of times, but I knew enough that there was some dickery (the short .2 pause in the middle of the song). There were many points in the song that I should have failed, due to the fact that I am extremely weak on crossovers, especially of the LUR and vice versa -- no problem on the LDR or the variation, and I'm forced to shuffle or double step, or shuffle double step... and that takes a lot more energy than needed. Even losing place in a crossover stream is just instant death. Or cross over gallops. I can't... I just can't. I almost passed it, but the thing, my lungs and my legs were telling me to stop and my brain just forced me to slip up.
I got angry at myself and everyone, and yet I still had a sliver left. I wasn't gonna be percieved as being weak because I couldn't pass a boss song or a hard 9. (Or a 9 regardless). I almost got through it. Maybe 10 sec left. It was a little more to go. I just stopped, and I saw the game over screen. I didn't let them see my face, I sorta stormed off with my water and went towards the bus station and hid out there for a few seconds.
I tried to compose myself when I came back in... but I couldn't.
So, I cried.
I know it's a petty thing to do, considering it's just a game, but it was the pressure to at least pass a Nonstop course, even though I'm still technically sick with the occasional coughing fit... it was pent up stress and frustration that I just couldn't express in proper words. (I've never been gifted in verbal skills, lets just say that.)
I told Trent about this -- well, mumbled it because I still had my head down on the table. I told him I pretty much failed everything -- mainly because I was sick really, but this was happening before I became sick, like a few days before, and it would be songs that have crossover stream, crossovers period really. Whatever reason I can't negotiate them, and it automatically a shuffle panic. I have no way of practicing because a] my pad's down arrow is fucked and b] I don't have enough room in my room between the desk and my bed. Unless I move it.
He told me it wasn't something to be upset over, and the fact that I used to be real relunctant to play Heavy songs period when I first started playing (well, playing on the machine anyway... I haven't told that story have I? Hm) which is true... so, he said I was more than welcome to come over his place and practice.
When I feel not so winded, I'm gonna take him up on that offer.