Essay I wrote - Very Funny compared to my last.
Generalizations 101
- The French are sissies who don’t shave or use deodorant.
- African- Americans are homophobic
- Asians are short
- Jews are cheap
- Irish are drunks
- Gays have an eye for interior design
- Scottish don’t wear underwear under their kilts.
- British don’t brush their teeth
- Germans and Russians are big meany heads
- Canadians are...........there
- Southerners can’t read and breed with cousins.
- Bay area residents sit in their hot tubs and complain about the gap of the rich and poor getting wider.
- Berkeley students are free-spirited, open-minded liberals who will kill you and your family if you dare say you’re a republican and voted for Bush.
- Blondes are airheads
- Red heads are either child prodigies or have a horrible temper.
- Older siblings are the responsible, independent, and have good leadership skills
- The middle child is a alcoholic
- The youngest child is a stripper
- Men watch football, make the money, spit, and scratch.
- Women cook, clean, spend the money, and yell at their husbands for spitting and scratching.
- Italian men are sleazy. Wait no that’s Italian men who reside in South beach, Florida.
- Floridians can’t count.
- Jewish grandmothers in Florida always accidently vote for Pat Buchanan.
- Republicans love the rich, hate trees and babies, and would pick the bible over saving the life of a gay person any day.
- Democrats will allow America to be bombed and attacked. And will always ask for the UN for approval in all cases and think diplomacy works even in the serious of times. They also sell your guns and bibles to fund abortion clinics, which is a practice they live by.
- White men wear suits, preppy clothes, can’t dance, and created most if not all generalizations and have discriminated against all races, women, and some religions at one point in history.
So many generalizations. So much fun. Now before I get e-mails from angry people let me explain myself. None of those statements are 100% correct nor are they 100% incorrect. These statements are meant to be funny or shed light on cultural thinking. Sure there’s always a black sheep in the herd, but when it comes to political analysis generalizations are a gift from God. (Or not God, if you worship a goat then automatically insert goat in place of God. And if you don’t believe in any kind of God nor worship any type of Goat then just put someone you admire in place of God) <- see what political correctness does to a person!
Without generalizations there would be no comedy. Without generalizations analysis on the political tendencies of a certain ethnic group could be quite confusing. This is a normal report from the news that may offend some insane politically correct people. "African-Americans who always sway towards the left in elections didn’t go Kerry’s way this time around. All because of the Gay marriage issue. African-Americans are against gay-marriage and a have a tendency of being strongly homophobic." Now if we were to give in to those political insane people that report would now be this. "Africans- Americans have a tendency of voting liberal, although some do vote conservative. But a overwhelming amount of African-Americans voted for Bush, although a good amount still showed support for Kerry. All because some African-Americans are anti-gay marriage -although not all- and because they also have a tendency of being strongly homophobic-although not all-and I apologize if you are a African American who doesn’t fit that description. Or a person who has a African-American friend who doesn’t fit that description." Now which in your opinion is more efficient? The first statement. The "although not all" is always implied when someone makes a generalization about a certain ideology of a certain group of people. So don’t think when the news people are saying "Mexicans vote democratic" and you’re a Mexican who votes Republican doesn’t mean your any less Mexican. It just means you are a very rare person in your kind. All I’m saying is being politically correct is a awesome and noble thing, but being politically insane is not the way to go. Politically insane means that you took offense to all the statements I said at the beginning of this e-mail.
Now generalizations and stereotypes shouldn’t be used to hate or discriminate. And I do know that it happens. To use a generalization you need to know that what your saying isn’t necessarily correct for all. And there’s always a time and a place to use such generalizations. But I like to think that people-for the most part-understand when someone uses a generalization it’s not to be mean, it’s to either make a joke or to shed light on a political issue. As for me personally I am probably the least politically correct person. I rarely get offended. I’m not saying everyone should be like me, because if that happened America would be a chaotic place. All I’m saying is to be real. When a comedian makes a joke about Jewish people being cheap; take it for what it is, a joke. And when a newscaster says that a certain group voted a certain way, don’t throw a hissy fit because of it and realize the "not everyone" is included in the statement.
I want people to recognize a generalization, I want people to use them in smart situations, and I don’t want people to think it’s the ultimate truth and choose to not befriend people because of those so-called generalizations. The thing is to be real and mature about these generalizations. They exist for a reason. But we need to be smart. So don’t be a whiny person and take a part a generalization by pointing out yourself and your family to prove it wrong. And on the flip-side don’t take generalizations and think it justifies any hatred you may have towards a group. That is all my children. And now this white-blonde-Marinite-teenage-girl needs to get in her hot tub, do my nails, talk about boys, think that chicken of the sea is actually chicken, and dance horribly to a hip-hop song and think I’m the best thing since Vanilla Ice. Good night, good luck, and good generalizations to you.
PS: Generalization is just a fancy, longer, and nicer version to say stereotype. haha