Yoinked from elessa

[djkitty]

"One thing I've learned this past year is that it's essential to take responsibility for your actions and your choices or you'll never be able to move forward in life. Keep blaming other people for things, feeling as if you're a constant victim and you'll just dig yourself into a hole." - Amanda Grosvenor

Comments

[descendingchaos]

wise words. who's that? sounds familar.

[djkitty]

I yoinked it from elessa. I tried googling her but nothing came up but that quote.

[ravendragonwing]

Very wise words....although sometimes we are not given a choice, but must pay for the actions.

[djkitty]

That's where I disagree. We always have a choice. It may not seem that way because some of the options seem near impossible or not feasible, but the choice to undertake them is there. A lot of times, we discount them because of the difficulty, timing or inconvenience. Once we start saying "Oh, I had no choice", we are falling back into the habit of relinquishing responsibility.

[ravendragonwing]

And I disagree. If a woman was to be raped and given a STD, is that her choice? To be raped and given a possibly incurable STD, I hope not. But she must now pay for the actions of another.

[djkitty]

Okay, that's true. But I don't think that quote was talking about situations like those. But taking your example, that woman now has a choice. She can wallow in the tragedy of what has happened, letting it consume her and alienate everyone around her because she builds walls/pushes people away/lashes out at them/whatever else. Or she can try to continue on with her life, treating the STD, seeking therapy and counseling and try to move fwd with her life, unafraid or victimized.

[ravendragonwing]

grr...stupid lj, the above post had something about her having a choice after the fact, but lj ate it and I had to rewrite it. And the post I tried to post got eaten too.
Ok, trying again.
But now you cannot say you ALWAYS have a choice. By saying she was raped and given HIV, can she relinquish the responsibilty of having chosen it? She will always be a victim to that crime, but how she reacts to it, is her choice.

[djkitty]

I will agree to that statement. But originally, the reason I disagreed was because events like those were not included in the situations I would apply that quote to.

[ravendragonwing]

I understand, I like to banter words sometimes :P
And what situations would you apply that quote to?

[djkitty]

Generally, the "woe is me, feel sorry for me" when the situation is one that they made/helped create.

Example:
"Woe is me, I can't get/keep a job...."
Situation - person quit last job because of a schedule not to their liking or they didn't get along with someone or they just didn't like it or they were fired due to poor performance. Person has not really done much in the way of job-hunting and does that whole "Well, I don't really know what I want to do..."