Chronicles (2/2)
(taohun, nc17, 11,810wc, non!au, fluff, romance, drama)
The true story of how Sehun falls in love with Tao.
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part II
It was only a week later that Sehun and eleven other trainees were called into the president's office, including Zi Tao who wrapped an arm around Sehun's neck as soon as he appeared next to him in the doorway, giving him a teethy grin and Sehun just wanted to punch himself in the dick. They sat down at the huge conference-like table next to each other right across from Yifan and Yixing who gave them a nod. They were still the only ones in the room, all of them pretending that this was no big deal, that they got called into the president's office every other day, but in reality - and at least that's how it was for Sehun - they were sweating underneath their t-shirts, grasping the fabric of their jeans with their shaky little fingers and praying to god that this was actually what they wished it was. That this would be the day they'd finally be told that they were ready. Ready to have their debut.
It only took another three minutes for the rest of the chairs at their table to get filled, Baekhyun coming in with a huge satisfied grin on his face and giving Sehun a little smirk before sitting down across from him next to Yifan.
Sehun couldn't look at him. No, he wouldn't look at him. He knew that he couldn't possibly blame Baekhyun for anything that had happened at Joonmyeon's party a few weeks ago because it hadn't really been his fault. Oh well, somehow it had been his fault. Because of him, Sehun had been forced to participate in their stupid little game. But you couldn't forget the fact that Baekhyun had given Sehun the opportunity to chose Zi Tao and he had not forced him to go ahead and just kiss him on the lips, wasting his precious first kiss on such an idiot. No, Sehun didn't seriously blame him... but at the same time, Baekhyun just wouldn't let it go, making sneaky comments and giving him those looks all the time. And if that guy at least had the courtesy to tease him when nobody else was around, Sehun could have dealt with it, but Baekhyun was somewhat of an asshole so everytime he saw Sehun with Tao he would not only give him that look but also throw him a kiss from afar. Zi Tao and him hadn't even been a couple at that point, and boy, they still weren't, but nevertheless Sehun felt like he had betrayed Zi Tao in some way and being reminded of it all the time made him hate Baekhyun a little.
It was stupid. Sehun was a fool for thinking like that, right? Then how come Zi Tao was suddenly all stiff next to him, the grin having left his face and his fingers formed into a fist while looking down at them.
They had not talked about it since that day. After their little conversation and it taking a turn that made Sehun blush and feel like he was going to pass out from a too-fast beating heart, Sehun had quickly changed the topic, asking Tao to go and grab a bite with him. Sehun had seen the disappointed look on his best friend's face then but the night had already been too exciting in a very bad way and Sehun had not wanted for anything more spectacular to happen. He thought that now that Tao had basically been pretty obvious about his feelings towards Sehun as well, they'd soon get their next opportunity to talk about it... but the opportunity hadn't come, not even after weeks, and Baekhyun being there to rile up the angry emotions inside of Tao everytime the annoying guy would pass Sehun a smile just made everything worse and Sehun felt like Tao was still being angry at him, which he probably was, based on the fact that Tao had turned his head to Sehun now and was almost glaring.
That was one of the few times Sehun was thankful for seeing their president as he walked into the room, a goofy little smile on his face.
The boys at the table immediately got quiet, even Jongdae who had been in the middle of telling a tired Kyungsoo about how he had finally hit that really deep note he'd been trying to hit for weeks and was going to treat himself to a big steak before going home for that.
Lee Soo Man sat down at the end of the desk, still smiling that weird little smile before putting both of his palms on the table, moving his finger over it like he was playing a piano.
“Boys,” he said in his usual calm tone, “you probably know what this is about. What could be a reason for you to get called into my office like that other than for me to tell you that we've got something special planned for you.” Sehun could hear Joonmyeon next to him take in a quick breath before Lee Soo Man continued.
“EXO,” their president suddenly sad in a loud voice, confusion in the boys eyes but Sehun could almost guess what that word meant. “That... will be the name of your group. EXO. A twelve-member performance group.”
And this should probably have been one of the best moments of Sehun's life. The goal he had been working towards... he would finally accomplish it, and while Sehun was about to let the tears flow down his cheek in bliss, he almost stopped breathing when Lee Soo Man finally came to that part.
“You guys will be separated into a Chinese and a Korean group. Yifan, Yixing, Lu Han, Zi Tao, Jongdae and Minseok you will be in EXO-M, the group that will be promoting mainly in China. And the rest of you will be in EXO-K, promoting in Korea,” he started to explain like it was the best fucking idea he had ever come up with and Sehun already felt like he was ready to wake up from that nightmare, “While promoting, you guys will be apart a lot. On special occasions you will get to perform as twelve but for now consider yourself two separate groups that perform the same songs in different languages.”
Sehun still couldn't breath. He continued to listen to the president, trying not to break out in tears, but this time for a wholly different reason. He was waiting for him to say something that would make him feel better, feel less horrible about this situation, but the words of 'separated' and 'won't be together' were flouting in his head, threatening to tear him apart and Sehun didn't even feel like an idiot for having such strong emotions about this because he was too busy trying to imagine a life without Zi Tao.
He was doing all of this for Zi Tao. He had come to do this for Zi Tao and even if he had learned to love it without him being a part of it, there was no way that now when their relationship had come this far, he was going to be able to take this.
“Excuse me,” Sehun said and suddenly everyone was looking at him, shocked that he had been able to talk at such an important moment “I really need to use the bathroom,” he stood up without waiting for permission and and didn't come back that day.
Hell was going to get him for this, he knew it. And by hell he meant Zi Tao because if there was one thing Tao didn't like it was unprofessionality... and being tickled but that was a wholly different story.
“Explain yourself!” Zi Tao said the moment he had entered Sehun's room without even knocking, finding the boy curled into a fetus-position on his bed. “The president was really angry that you just left without coming back. You should be glad that you are still a part of EXO.”
“Glad?” Sehun asked confused and he just didn't get why Zi Tao seemed to unaffected by this horrible outcome.
Had Sehun been all wrong? Had he read that situation after Joonmyeon's party the wrong way and Zi Tao didn't like him back after all? Because that would be the only way to explain his indifference about being separated from Sehun for such a long time.
“What is there to explain... I...,” he sat up, pausing as Tao got closer, sitting down next to him and not as much anger in his eyes as Sehun had expected.
“I, what?”
“You really don't know?” Sehun asked desperately because he wouldn't say it out loud, he was a coward like that. He wouldn't say that he could hardly imagine being apart from Zi Tao for such a long time. He wouldn't say that he just wanted to cry thinking about not being able to see him for over a week. He wouldn't say that he'd die of missing him too much.
He already felt like a whiny baby, he didn't want Tao to think of him as one too - even though Zi Tao was to biggest whiny baby there was.
“We can do this,” Zi Tao suddenly said and Sehun looked up at him in surprise “We can Skype everyday or night if necessary. We can send each other texts and send each other pictures. And it's not like we won't see each other at all. At least once a month EXO-M will be in Ko-”
“Once a month? What the hell, Tao?”
“What else are we supposed to do then? Pass off the chance of finally having our debut after we've been working so hard for years? I am telling you, this will be our only chance. There is no second chance in this business. We can either accept it or not and honestly... as much as I don't want to go to China without you... I am not going to quit. This is my dream!”
“And you know what my dream is?” Sehun suddenly said, feeling as confident as he'd never felt before, the desperate need to keep Tao by his side not making him able to think straight “To have you by my side. All the time.”
Zi Tao was suddenly looking at him with his lips slightly apart like he was going to say something, but then they started quivering and Tao stood up, hitting the mattress with both of his fists hard “Fuck you, Sehun!” he shouted right into his face, sounding desperate all of a sudden “You are too fucking late! You could have had me all this time but no, you wouldn't. And now that we are about to be separated you finally decide to be ok with being gay and step all over me, telling me that you want me? Fuck you!”
“It was never about being gay,” Sehun answered almost shouting as well and standing up. “I was afraid that you wouldn't like me the same way and I'd even lose you as a friend so I never said anything.”
“Oh don't be such a clichéd drama-queen. It's too late! We're going to be separated now! It's just too fucking late!” and with those words Zi Tao stormed out of the room, eyes wet and shiny.
Sehun would have followed him to tell him that it wasn't too late and that they'd be able to make it but... he wasn't so sure about that himself.
Sehun had surely never expected for their relationship to take such a drastic turn to the worst ever. Especially not at such a time, when they should have been celebrating that they were this close to their dream finally coming true and them finally getting a reward for the years of hard work they've gone through. And also especially not after they had kind of confessed their feelings to one another.
Sehun had never even considered that there could be anything standing between them if they'd ever get past the not-talk-about-our-feelings-for-each-other thing because he had always found that to be the worst and final barrier to overcome.
He had been so so wrong.
Zi Tao wouldn't talk to him. He wouldn't even look at him if he didn't have to and he was being so obvious about it that people close to them had already realized after only a day of practice, when their dance couch had told Zi Tao to stretch together with Sehun like always and Tao had just walked over to Yifan without a word, shooing Chanyeol over to Sehun to change partners.
Sehun had spent half an hour in the toilet crying that day, not knowing what to do or say to somehow get Tao to not be mad at him anymore. But something told him that Zi Tao wasn't even mad... he was probably just as horrified and afraid of being separated as Sehun was and that made it even worse because no apology on the planet or nothing Sehun could say would change that.
They were going to get separated in a few months and from then on they would not be able to continue on as best friends, not to mention more. This was something Sehun hadn't expected. Something he had not been ready for.
Countless of photo shootings. Countless of hours of dance practice. Several teaser and music videos to film. Crazy diets that had each of them collapse at least once in combination with their lack of sleep and lack of rest. Everything was so different than Sehun had expected and after a while of starving himself and practising until he felt the pain in every limb, he had forgotten what he was even doing this for. This had never been his dream unlike most of the other members. This had never been what he wanted. He'd always only wanted Zi Tao but... he didn't have him anymore and he'd never have him again.
Just looking at Zi Tao these days would make Sehun consider to just fuck everything and drop out of EXO. He didn't want this. He couldn't do this. Not with him and Zi Tao being like that. He wasn't that strong and after weeks and month of not talking to each other, Sehun had come to the conclusion that not having Tao at all would probably be better than this because seeing him everyday was like a daily reminder of what Sehun could have had but didn't get because he had been too afraid to mouth his feelings. Because he was a fucking coward and the moment he had realized that, it had already been to late.
Sehun had thought about it for weeks. After he had seen Baekhyun collapse in the dance practice room from exhaustion, the smile even leaving his lips, he had realized that he would break from all of this. He had decided to end this madness of making his mind and body sick and leave SM. There was nothing really holding him there despite the pain and his fear of losing Tao for good anyway.
He had taken a shower right after practice, putting on his clothes and ready to walk up to the president's office and apologize and leave and never come back when Zi Tao had put a hand on his shoulder from behind him.
Perfect timing, Sehun would have said if the two of them had still been in a good relationship then.
“Sehun,” the boy said and it had literally been months since Sehun had last heard Tao say his name.
For a moment he was forgetting. For a moment he was considering not to do this after all because even if he had felt like he'd been in living hell for the past few months, just this simple touch and the sound of Zi Tao saying his name had suddenly made everything so fucking worth it.
How could Sehun ever leave him?
“Are you ok,” the Chinese boy asked him, exhaustion in his face, his eye bags darker than ever. “You've been looking really out of it for a while now.”
“Am I the only one?” Sehun asked tired but he knew that there was a huge difference between him and the other members. Most of them wanted this too much to give up despite the pain.
“I'm worried. EXO's debut is in less than a month and you look...” he didn't finish that sentence because Sehun snorted.
Of course. What had Sehun been thinking. This was about their debut. Of course it was. There was nothing left between him and Zi Tao to talk about other than their fucking debut.
“Don't worry. EXO will be fine.”
“You know that this is not what I meant,” Tao said more tired than angry, but held on to Sehun's shoulder harder.
“Do I?” Sehun just answered, looking at Zi Tao and searching for something and for a very tiny second he thought that he was really not going to be able to leave him after all because he was weak and he had always been so weak when it came to Zi Tao.
But then he remembered that Tao had been the one to abandon their friendship because of EXO. He had been the one who had ended it all and now Zi Tao had no right to hold on to Sehun like that anymore.
Sehun slapped his hand from his shoulder.
“Where you you going?” Zi Tao asked when he saw Sehun approach the elevator instead of leaving for the exit.
“President's office.”
“What for?” Sehun could hear the confusion in Tao's voice but he wouldn't care. He wouldn't turn around. He continued walking, pressing the button.
“Why do you care?”
“What the hell are you doing, Oh Sehun?”
“I'm leaving,” Sehun answered voice strong, and when the elevator arrived he stepped inside to turn around and press the button to the top floor.
“What do you mean?” Tao asked him with a horrified look on his face. He was about to follow him into the lift but the moment Sehun could see him make a step towards him, he pushed him away with one hand hard, voice getting louder.
“Leave me alone, Zi Tao! That's what you've gotten so good at, isn't it?” He pressed the close button but before the doors could shut completely Tao had entered despite Sehun trying to push him out, slapping him in the face hard, all of the frustration he had kept inside of him going through with him all at once. “Get out!” her screamed, the pain of those past few weeks audible with every syllable spoken, but the elevator had already started moving and Zi Tao was struggling to grasp Sehun by his arms and press him against the glassed-walls of the moving box.
“Calm down!” he almost screamed at Sehun who was still struggling under his touch, powerless against the strong form of Zi Tao. “You don't want to do this!” Zi Tao said like it was a fact but he was so so wrong. This was one of the things Sehun was sure he wanted.
“Yes, I do. Yes, I fucking do. This is what I want, Tao! I want to leave!” Sehun screamed and when the robotic voice announced that they had almost reached their floor, Zi Tao pressed the stop button and the elevator came to a halt with a loud crushing noise.
“No, you don't!” Zi Tao said, sounding so confident in his words but Sehun could see the doubt in his eyes.
“Believe me, Tao, I do.” And when suddenly Tao's expression changed, the horrified look back on his face, Sehun knew what this meant. Tao really did believe him.
“No, you can't.”
“I can.”
“You can't,” Tao said, voice suddenly so quiet “How can you just... no...” His grip on Sehun's arms loosened but Sehun didn't move anyway, even though he could have easily pushed him off by now. “After all we've been through... how can you just abandon your dream and just leave like that?”
Sehun was getting mad again. It didn't matter that Zi Tao was hurting and that Zi Tao obviously wanted him to stay for whatever selfish reason. Sehun was getting mad because Zi Tao was being so egoistic. He had been ignoring him for months, not caring about how Sehun had been suffering, crying himself to sleep almost every night, his body breaking from all the practice. But now that it was about Zi Tao losing him for good, he thought that he had a say in it?
“Don't fuck with me, Tao!” Sehun said angrily “EXO is not my dream! I would never abandon my dream. My dream has abandoned me! Months ago!” he finally screamed, and for a moment he saw remembrance in Zi Tao's eyes and than a little bit of shock “I've finally come to terms with it. I've finally realized that there is nothing I can do anymore. That's why I'm leaving! I am moving on.” Sehun made a pause, suddenly feeling like he was about to cry, but he wouldn't.
“Please Tao, let me move on.”
That's when the hands on his shoulders collapsed to his side, Tao's eyes being the last thing he ever wanted to look at again.
Sehun quickly shoved Tao to the side to press the move button again and it was only a few seconds later that they arrived at the top floor, the door opening. Sehun felt like Zi Tao had understood him and would let him go. Finally.
So he had thought.
Before Sehun could take anymore steps towards the huge door at the end of the empty corridor, without any warning, Zi Tao had hugged him from behind, pressing the whole length of his body against Sehun, legs against legs, chest against his back, Tao's cheek pressing against Sehun's from one side, a wet tear running down between them.
“Your dream has not abandoned you,” Tao said and Sehun just wanted to scream and toss and hit but he couldn't move because he didn't have the power. He was so so tired and this was more than he could handle. This had literally been the worst thing Zi Tao could have said to him now. The last words to break him.
“Let go, Tao,” he said voice only a whisper, because Tao had been right. It had been too late then and it was too late now. There was no going back.
“I will but before that can you listen for a second,” Zi Tao asked quietly, a few sobs leaving his mouth but Sehun could hear him try to stay calm and swallow the sounds down.
Sehun was about to say no because he didn't want to hear any more but Tao didn't even wait for an answer when he started talking.
“Remember that day three years ago? It was really hot and humid and I was late for practice. I'd already been late the day before so I was running really fast, I didn't want to get scolded again.”
Sehun didn't need to hear anymore to know which day Zi Tao was talking about. He didn't need to hear more to know where Tao was getting at and more importantly he didn't want to hear it. But something... something made him unable to stop Zi Tao.
“I was just a few steps away from the building when I ran into you. I hadn't even realized that there was a person standing right in front of me because I had been running for half an hour straight and was totally out of it. But when we bumped together and I turned around to apologize... you were looking at me like I was the most beautiful person you'd ever seen in your life” and suddenly there was the sobbing again and it took Sehun a second to realize that it wasn't Tao who was crying this time “and when I saw you look at me like that I just realized that I wanted to have someone look at me like that for the rest of my life.”
At first I was just in love with the thought of someone being so much in love with me that someone would follow me to SM and try to be a singer just so you could be close to me. It was so wonderful to see you chasing me and see you look all disappointed when I wouldn't look back at you and wouldn't talk to you.” Zi Tao was giggling a bit now but Sehun just felt his heart ripping apart more because he just wanted to go back to those innocent days but he knew that they couldn't. “And then you called me once and just hung up because you were too afraid to talk to me. And the way you looked at Yifan everytime I was sitting too close to him. I fell asleep smiling at the thought of that angry face of yours so many times.”
When we finally became friends it was because I had decided to make the first step because you were just too afraid of ever talking to me. I was looking forward to that weekend of training so much, I barely slept the night before. And when we met on Sunday... you were so perfect. I fell so much in love with you when we started spending more time together, but this time not because of the way you loved me. I honestly loved you for who you are. I was so happy just being close to you at first but soon it was getting harder and harder to bear just being friends. I would sleep over, undress myself in front of you and even jump into your shower with you and pretend to touch you by accident just to finally have you make a move on me. But you never did. Never.” Zi Tao said and suddenly he didn't sound that happy anymore “
And then the news of our debut and our separation came. I almost started crying hearing those words from the president and when you left me alone in that conference room, I almost came out running after you because I love you so much and the thought of losing you hurt so much. I was just trying so hard to not think about it. But then, of course, that day you decided to tell me that you wanted me to be with you... but we couldn't. So I was angry and hurt and... I made a mistake.” Tao finally admitted and Sehun was crying to hard by now, he felt disgusting and snotty but Zi Tao was still pressing himself against him from behind, cheek against cheek, hands resting tightly around Sehun's stomach.
“These past few months I've been thinking about how to approach you. At the beginning, I wouldn't because I just didn't know what to say or how to make things better... but after a while you had suddenly stopped paying any attention to me and... I thought that you had maybe gotten over me and did-”
“What kind of bullshit are you even talking about?” Sehun said for the first time, still sobbing but anger in his voice. “How could I ever not love you?”
“I don't know. I just don't know what I was thinking. I was so afraid that you'd suddenly reject me so... I didn't talk to you because I was thinking that having you by my side like that was still better than have you reject me... but then you've been looking so ill and miserable for the past few days and I just couldn't bear it anymore and now you are telling me that you want to leave and that I abandoned you and I just don't know what to do to change your mind.”
“Just...” Sehun started but he didn't know what to say. The answer was so easy but somehow it stood against everything he's been feeling for the past few weeks.
With Zi Tao holding on to him like that, not pulling away even though Sehun felt tired and disgusting, he realized how fucking easy everything could be if they would just be together. It didn't matter how, it didn't matter for how long. They'd be away from each other for a few months tops. They would never be separated for good as long as they were both in EXO. They could have a future together.
“Just don't ever let me go again,” Sehun concluded in a whisper and it didn't even take Zi Tao a second to turn him around in his arms and kiss him.
It was crazy. Officially, they had just been planning to get some bubble tea and then go to Zi Tao's place to rest after many exhausting hours of dance practice, with their debut just a week away. The moment they had entered Zi Tao's dorm room, though, closing the door behind them, they had turned into a mess of kisses and limps and fingers ripping at clothes. Sehun had no idea who had even started it because since them officially becoming boyfriends a few weeks ago there had been that incredible sexual tension between them. When Zi Tao had asked him to come to his place today even though it was so far away and so small and cramped, Sehun had been about to ask him why but then he had looked into Zi Tao's eyes and the question had answered itself. It was the only place where they'd really be completely alone. Just the two of them.
It only took them a few seconds to get the many layers of fabric off of their bodies and it was only when Sehun was pushed back into Tao's sheets that he actually realized that this was what he had been dreaming about for months - or even fucking years.
Zi Tao was covering Sehun's body with his own, cock pressing hard against his thigh when Sehun moaned out loud, telling his boyfriend to slow down. Tao didn't listen, though.
“Wait, I don't know what to do,” was the first proper sentence he was able to mutter after Tao's lips had separated from his after kissing him red and swollen.
“You're doing well,” Zi Tao answered and Sehun really didn't know what he was supposed to be doing well. His hands were roaming over Tao's back and further down, occasionally squeezing his buttocks, but he hadn't really been paying any attention to what he had been doing.
“Like this?” Sehun asked confused, squeezing his ass harder and Tao moaned a little against his neck, snuggling his nose right under Sehun's ear, making him shudder.
“Yea, just like that.” And those words were enough to convince Sehun to continue senselessly touching places of Zi Tao's body he hadn't touched before.
When he felt Zi Tao's lips leaving his neck, going deeper to kiss around his hard nipples and then even deeper, kissing right below his bellybutton, he knew exactly what was going to happen next.
“Oh god, don't”, he said even though he really didn't mean it and his hands were already in Tao's hair, pressing him down as Tao swallowed the head, licking over the tip skilfully. Sehun knew that there was no way that this was the first time Tao was doing this but he really didn't want to think about it and he wasn't able to anyway when Zi Tao suddenly went down on him deeper, swallowing the whole length of his dick and Sehun could feel the tip touching the back of Zi Tao's throat. He came right that second, moaning out loud and pulling one leg up to push deeper inside of him.
Sehun had imagined this so many times, had imagined Zi Tao licking up and down his dick deliciously, swallowing his cum while begging for more and non of those fantasies had come close to the real deal. He had just cum but he still felt desire burning through his body and when Zi Tao's lips let go of him with a plop, he could hardly contain himself from grasping the boy by the neck and press him down to fuck him hard into the sheets. But a fact was that Sehun had no idea how sex with a guy really worked so he had to wait for any more instructions before he could actually do something.
“Want to return the favour?” Zi Tao asked after having caught the boy staring at his dick, and Sehun nodded willingly but then the older boy laughed at him and reached to his desk drawer. “Afterwards, ok?”
“After what?” Sehun asked and Zi Tao just grinned, pulling out a bottle of what looked like lube to wiggly it in front of Sehun's face.
“Why do you even have that?”
“Just in case,” the Chinese boy grinned.
Sehun was pushed back down right at that moment with Tao straddling his lap and opening the lid of the bottle. Tracing the index finger covered in liquid behind his own back, Tao suddenly made a little sound that send sparks through Sehun's body and because he was way too afraid to cum again just from watching Zi Tao finger himself on top of him, he decided to help out, sliding his hands to where Tao had buried his index deep inside just so he could replace it with his own.
“Do you know what you're doing?”, Zi Tao asked, leaning forward and accepting Sehun's finger inside of him, a small moan coming from his lips when Sehun started rushing and buried another two fingers inside at once. “Slow down.” And Sehun tried to do that, only moving his fingers slowly and carefully so not to stretch too much at first, but after some minutes passing and Tao getting softer he started moving his fingers in and out in a quick rhythm, watching Zitao hungrily as the boy slowly started losing control over his body and pressed back against Sehun's hands. When Zi Tao finally nudged Sehun's arm to the side, as to show him that he was ready, he grasped the little bottle of liquid again, smearing some of it on his penis as well as Tao's entrance.
“This time you really can't rush it”, Tao said and Sehun nodded. And suddenly Zi Tao was lifting his body up a bit just to lower himself again, holding on to Sehun's dick with one hand and leading it to his hole.
“Don't move, Sehun.”
He didn't.
Sehun felt so hot, he wanted to gasp at that completely new and out-of-the-world sensation oft his tip slowly disappearing inside of Zi Tao. Watching the Chinese boy sliding down on him at the same time, so beautiful and sexy, made Sehun completely unable to do anything. And he really couldn't believe that feeling like this was even possible when Tao started moving a little bit, lifting himself up just to push down again.
“Oh god”, Sehun moaned when he heard his boyfriend make those really sexy sounds, moaning Sehun's name in between.
From then on the whole thing turned into a huge mess with Sehun having a hard time keeping up his rhythm, Zi Tao becoming hyper-sensitive to every single touch Sehun's fingers would leave on his body, and soon both of them were cuming hard, Zi Tao collapsing forward and crashing on Sehun with his whole weight.
Sehun could hear the Chinese boy whimper into his ear as he pulled out, breathing hard and putting a hand to his boyfriends neck, stroking lightly.
“God, is sex always this exhausting?” Sehun asked, surprised at the steady sound of his voice because he really felt like he could fall asleep right that second and not wake up for at least another 24 hours.
“How would I know,” was Zi Tao's answer which caused Sehun too look down at him with a frown on his forehead.
“You seemed so experienced.”
“I watch a lot of porn.”
“Oh.”
Zi Tao fell asleep first, limps resting against Sehun, head pillowed on his chest. Sehun's fingers were still tracing over the sleeping boy's neck, occasionally touching his ear and shoulder while staring up the wall and thinking about what had just happened. He couldn't help but grin at the thought, snickering to himself before pulling the taller boy into his arms and falling asleep shortly after.
Day D. They had been expecting this day for months and now it was finally here. The EXO-M members had packed their bags and were about to get into the van and drive to the airport to leave for China. Three weeks of promoting there and then they'd be back for a few days.
Zi Tao was leaving for now and even though it was sad and Sehun would be lonely, he was going to send him of with a smile on his lips.
The two of them had spent the last few days together, every minute every second holding on to each other, cuddling, kissing, hugging and their members had been complaining at the beginning but gotten used to it after a while. “Young love,” Minseok had said while rolling his eyes and shooed Joonmyeon out of their shared room so Sehun and Tao could have some private time which had become somehow harder after EXO had moved into a dorm together.
They had talked about it a lot. How to handle being separated for such a long time, coming to the conclusion than Skype would make them able to bear the days or weeks apart. Sehun could handle it, he knew it. Tao would too.
“We need to go now,” their manager shouted from downstairs, the other members saying their goodbyes and then leaving for the car. Zi Tao had stayed back to hug and kiss Sehun hard on the lips one last time, grinning at him when pulling back.
“You seem happy,” Sehun said, a smile on his lips as well as he passed Tao his bag and the Chinese boy swung it over his shoulders.
“I am excited!” Zi Tao said happily.
“About what?” Sehun asked curiously before he was suddenly pulled back into a short but intense kiss and let go of just as fast again.
“Seeing my boyfriend again in three weeks!”
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the end.
I promised you guys that I would finish this story so I did. I know, it took a while but a lot of stuff happened in those past few month (like moving and uni and writing other fanfics *cought*). Anyway, I hope you liked the way it turned out.
This is not betad yet.
I hope you can leave me a little feedback here in the comment section if you've come this far. (I've enabled the anonymous function so you should be able to comment even if you don't have an lj account^^). Thanks
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The true story of how Sehun falls in love with Tao.
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part II
It was only a week later that Sehun and eleven other trainees were called into the president's office, including Zi Tao who wrapped an arm around Sehun's neck as soon as he appeared next to him in the doorway, giving him a teethy grin and Sehun just wanted to punch himself in the dick. They sat down at the huge conference-like table next to each other right across from Yifan and Yixing who gave them a nod. They were still the only ones in the room, all of them pretending that this was no big deal, that they got called into the president's office every other day, but in reality - and at least that's how it was for Sehun - they were sweating underneath their t-shirts, grasping the fabric of their jeans with their shaky little fingers and praying to god that this was actually what they wished it was. That this would be the day they'd finally be told that they were ready. Ready to have their debut.
It only took another three minutes for the rest of the chairs at their table to get filled, Baekhyun coming in with a huge satisfied grin on his face and giving Sehun a little smirk before sitting down across from him next to Yifan.
Sehun couldn't look at him. No, he wouldn't look at him. He knew that he couldn't possibly blame Baekhyun for anything that had happened at Joonmyeon's party a few weeks ago because it hadn't really been his fault. Oh well, somehow it had been his fault. Because of him, Sehun had been forced to participate in their stupid little game. But you couldn't forget the fact that Baekhyun had given Sehun the opportunity to chose Zi Tao and he had not forced him to go ahead and just kiss him on the lips, wasting his precious first kiss on such an idiot. No, Sehun didn't seriously blame him... but at the same time, Baekhyun just wouldn't let it go, making sneaky comments and giving him those looks all the time. And if that guy at least had the courtesy to tease him when nobody else was around, Sehun could have dealt with it, but Baekhyun was somewhat of an asshole so everytime he saw Sehun with Tao he would not only give him that look but also throw him a kiss from afar. Zi Tao and him hadn't even been a couple at that point, and boy, they still weren't, but nevertheless Sehun felt like he had betrayed Zi Tao in some way and being reminded of it all the time made him hate Baekhyun a little.
It was stupid. Sehun was a fool for thinking like that, right? Then how come Zi Tao was suddenly all stiff next to him, the grin having left his face and his fingers formed into a fist while looking down at them.
They had not talked about it since that day. After their little conversation and it taking a turn that made Sehun blush and feel like he was going to pass out from a too-fast beating heart, Sehun had quickly changed the topic, asking Tao to go and grab a bite with him. Sehun had seen the disappointed look on his best friend's face then but the night had already been too exciting in a very bad way and Sehun had not wanted for anything more spectacular to happen. He thought that now that Tao had basically been pretty obvious about his feelings towards Sehun as well, they'd soon get their next opportunity to talk about it... but the opportunity hadn't come, not even after weeks, and Baekhyun being there to rile up the angry emotions inside of Tao everytime the annoying guy would pass Sehun a smile just made everything worse and Sehun felt like Tao was still being angry at him, which he probably was, based on the fact that Tao had turned his head to Sehun now and was almost glaring.
That was one of the few times Sehun was thankful for seeing their president as he walked into the room, a goofy little smile on his face.
The boys at the table immediately got quiet, even Jongdae who had been in the middle of telling a tired Kyungsoo about how he had finally hit that really deep note he'd been trying to hit for weeks and was going to treat himself to a big steak before going home for that.
Lee Soo Man sat down at the end of the desk, still smiling that weird little smile before putting both of his palms on the table, moving his finger over it like he was playing a piano.
“Boys,” he said in his usual calm tone, “you probably know what this is about. What could be a reason for you to get called into my office like that other than for me to tell you that we've got something special planned for you.” Sehun could hear Joonmyeon next to him take in a quick breath before Lee Soo Man continued.
“EXO,” their president suddenly sad in a loud voice, confusion in the boys eyes but Sehun could almost guess what that word meant. “That... will be the name of your group. EXO. A twelve-member performance group.”
And this should probably have been one of the best moments of Sehun's life. The goal he had been working towards... he would finally accomplish it, and while Sehun was about to let the tears flow down his cheek in bliss, he almost stopped breathing when Lee Soo Man finally came to that part.
“You guys will be separated into a Chinese and a Korean group. Yifan, Yixing, Lu Han, Zi Tao, Jongdae and Minseok you will be in EXO-M, the group that will be promoting mainly in China. And the rest of you will be in EXO-K, promoting in Korea,” he started to explain like it was the best fucking idea he had ever come up with and Sehun already felt like he was ready to wake up from that nightmare, “While promoting, you guys will be apart a lot. On special occasions you will get to perform as twelve but for now consider yourself two separate groups that perform the same songs in different languages.”
Sehun still couldn't breath. He continued to listen to the president, trying not to break out in tears, but this time for a wholly different reason. He was waiting for him to say something that would make him feel better, feel less horrible about this situation, but the words of 'separated' and 'won't be together' were flouting in his head, threatening to tear him apart and Sehun didn't even feel like an idiot for having such strong emotions about this because he was too busy trying to imagine a life without Zi Tao.
He was doing all of this for Zi Tao. He had come to do this for Zi Tao and even if he had learned to love it without him being a part of it, there was no way that now when their relationship had come this far, he was going to be able to take this.
“Excuse me,” Sehun said and suddenly everyone was looking at him, shocked that he had been able to talk at such an important moment “I really need to use the bathroom,” he stood up without waiting for permission and and didn't come back that day.
Hell was going to get him for this, he knew it. And by hell he meant Zi Tao because if there was one thing Tao didn't like it was unprofessionality... and being tickled but that was a wholly different story.
“Explain yourself!” Zi Tao said the moment he had entered Sehun's room without even knocking, finding the boy curled into a fetus-position on his bed. “The president was really angry that you just left without coming back. You should be glad that you are still a part of EXO.”
“Glad?” Sehun asked confused and he just didn't get why Zi Tao seemed to unaffected by this horrible outcome.
Had Sehun been all wrong? Had he read that situation after Joonmyeon's party the wrong way and Zi Tao didn't like him back after all? Because that would be the only way to explain his indifference about being separated from Sehun for such a long time.
“What is there to explain... I...,” he sat up, pausing as Tao got closer, sitting down next to him and not as much anger in his eyes as Sehun had expected.
“I, what?”
“You really don't know?” Sehun asked desperately because he wouldn't say it out loud, he was a coward like that. He wouldn't say that he could hardly imagine being apart from Zi Tao for such a long time. He wouldn't say that he just wanted to cry thinking about not being able to see him for over a week. He wouldn't say that he'd die of missing him too much.
He already felt like a whiny baby, he didn't want Tao to think of him as one too - even though Zi Tao was to biggest whiny baby there was.
“We can do this,” Zi Tao suddenly said and Sehun looked up at him in surprise “We can Skype everyday or night if necessary. We can send each other texts and send each other pictures. And it's not like we won't see each other at all. At least once a month EXO-M will be in Ko-”
“Once a month? What the hell, Tao?”
“What else are we supposed to do then? Pass off the chance of finally having our debut after we've been working so hard for years? I am telling you, this will be our only chance. There is no second chance in this business. We can either accept it or not and honestly... as much as I don't want to go to China without you... I am not going to quit. This is my dream!”
“And you know what my dream is?” Sehun suddenly said, feeling as confident as he'd never felt before, the desperate need to keep Tao by his side not making him able to think straight “To have you by my side. All the time.”
Zi Tao was suddenly looking at him with his lips slightly apart like he was going to say something, but then they started quivering and Tao stood up, hitting the mattress with both of his fists hard “Fuck you, Sehun!” he shouted right into his face, sounding desperate all of a sudden “You are too fucking late! You could have had me all this time but no, you wouldn't. And now that we are about to be separated you finally decide to be ok with being gay and step all over me, telling me that you want me? Fuck you!”
“It was never about being gay,” Sehun answered almost shouting as well and standing up. “I was afraid that you wouldn't like me the same way and I'd even lose you as a friend so I never said anything.”
“Oh don't be such a clichéd drama-queen. It's too late! We're going to be separated now! It's just too fucking late!” and with those words Zi Tao stormed out of the room, eyes wet and shiny.
Sehun would have followed him to tell him that it wasn't too late and that they'd be able to make it but... he wasn't so sure about that himself.
Sehun had surely never expected for their relationship to take such a drastic turn to the worst ever. Especially not at such a time, when they should have been celebrating that they were this close to their dream finally coming true and them finally getting a reward for the years of hard work they've gone through. And also especially not after they had kind of confessed their feelings to one another.
Sehun had never even considered that there could be anything standing between them if they'd ever get past the not-talk-about-our-feelings-for-each-other thing because he had always found that to be the worst and final barrier to overcome.
He had been so so wrong.
Zi Tao wouldn't talk to him. He wouldn't even look at him if he didn't have to and he was being so obvious about it that people close to them had already realized after only a day of practice, when their dance couch had told Zi Tao to stretch together with Sehun like always and Tao had just walked over to Yifan without a word, shooing Chanyeol over to Sehun to change partners.
Sehun had spent half an hour in the toilet crying that day, not knowing what to do or say to somehow get Tao to not be mad at him anymore. But something told him that Zi Tao wasn't even mad... he was probably just as horrified and afraid of being separated as Sehun was and that made it even worse because no apology on the planet or nothing Sehun could say would change that.
They were going to get separated in a few months and from then on they would not be able to continue on as best friends, not to mention more. This was something Sehun hadn't expected. Something he had not been ready for.
Countless of photo shootings. Countless of hours of dance practice. Several teaser and music videos to film. Crazy diets that had each of them collapse at least once in combination with their lack of sleep and lack of rest. Everything was so different than Sehun had expected and after a while of starving himself and practising until he felt the pain in every limb, he had forgotten what he was even doing this for. This had never been his dream unlike most of the other members. This had never been what he wanted. He'd always only wanted Zi Tao but... he didn't have him anymore and he'd never have him again.
Just looking at Zi Tao these days would make Sehun consider to just fuck everything and drop out of EXO. He didn't want this. He couldn't do this. Not with him and Zi Tao being like that. He wasn't that strong and after weeks and month of not talking to each other, Sehun had come to the conclusion that not having Tao at all would probably be better than this because seeing him everyday was like a daily reminder of what Sehun could have had but didn't get because he had been too afraid to mouth his feelings. Because he was a fucking coward and the moment he had realized that, it had already been to late.
Sehun had thought about it for weeks. After he had seen Baekhyun collapse in the dance practice room from exhaustion, the smile even leaving his lips, he had realized that he would break from all of this. He had decided to end this madness of making his mind and body sick and leave SM. There was nothing really holding him there despite the pain and his fear of losing Tao for good anyway.
He had taken a shower right after practice, putting on his clothes and ready to walk up to the president's office and apologize and leave and never come back when Zi Tao had put a hand on his shoulder from behind him.
Perfect timing, Sehun would have said if the two of them had still been in a good relationship then.
“Sehun,” the boy said and it had literally been months since Sehun had last heard Tao say his name.
For a moment he was forgetting. For a moment he was considering not to do this after all because even if he had felt like he'd been in living hell for the past few months, just this simple touch and the sound of Zi Tao saying his name had suddenly made everything so fucking worth it.
How could Sehun ever leave him?
“Are you ok,” the Chinese boy asked him, exhaustion in his face, his eye bags darker than ever. “You've been looking really out of it for a while now.”
“Am I the only one?” Sehun asked tired but he knew that there was a huge difference between him and the other members. Most of them wanted this too much to give up despite the pain.
“I'm worried. EXO's debut is in less than a month and you look...” he didn't finish that sentence because Sehun snorted.
Of course. What had Sehun been thinking. This was about their debut. Of course it was. There was nothing left between him and Zi Tao to talk about other than their fucking debut.
“Don't worry. EXO will be fine.”
“You know that this is not what I meant,” Tao said more tired than angry, but held on to Sehun's shoulder harder.
“Do I?” Sehun just answered, looking at Zi Tao and searching for something and for a very tiny second he thought that he was really not going to be able to leave him after all because he was weak and he had always been so weak when it came to Zi Tao.
But then he remembered that Tao had been the one to abandon their friendship because of EXO. He had been the one who had ended it all and now Zi Tao had no right to hold on to Sehun like that anymore.
Sehun slapped his hand from his shoulder.
“Where you you going?” Zi Tao asked when he saw Sehun approach the elevator instead of leaving for the exit.
“President's office.”
“What for?” Sehun could hear the confusion in Tao's voice but he wouldn't care. He wouldn't turn around. He continued walking, pressing the button.
“Why do you care?”
“What the hell are you doing, Oh Sehun?”
“I'm leaving,” Sehun answered voice strong, and when the elevator arrived he stepped inside to turn around and press the button to the top floor.
“What do you mean?” Tao asked him with a horrified look on his face. He was about to follow him into the lift but the moment Sehun could see him make a step towards him, he pushed him away with one hand hard, voice getting louder.
“Leave me alone, Zi Tao! That's what you've gotten so good at, isn't it?” He pressed the close button but before the doors could shut completely Tao had entered despite Sehun trying to push him out, slapping him in the face hard, all of the frustration he had kept inside of him going through with him all at once. “Get out!” her screamed, the pain of those past few weeks audible with every syllable spoken, but the elevator had already started moving and Zi Tao was struggling to grasp Sehun by his arms and press him against the glassed-walls of the moving box.
“Calm down!” he almost screamed at Sehun who was still struggling under his touch, powerless against the strong form of Zi Tao. “You don't want to do this!” Zi Tao said like it was a fact but he was so so wrong. This was one of the things Sehun was sure he wanted.
“Yes, I do. Yes, I fucking do. This is what I want, Tao! I want to leave!” Sehun screamed and when the robotic voice announced that they had almost reached their floor, Zi Tao pressed the stop button and the elevator came to a halt with a loud crushing noise.
“No, you don't!” Zi Tao said, sounding so confident in his words but Sehun could see the doubt in his eyes.
“Believe me, Tao, I do.” And when suddenly Tao's expression changed, the horrified look back on his face, Sehun knew what this meant. Tao really did believe him.
“No, you can't.”
“I can.”
“You can't,” Tao said, voice suddenly so quiet “How can you just... no...” His grip on Sehun's arms loosened but Sehun didn't move anyway, even though he could have easily pushed him off by now. “After all we've been through... how can you just abandon your dream and just leave like that?”
Sehun was getting mad again. It didn't matter that Zi Tao was hurting and that Zi Tao obviously wanted him to stay for whatever selfish reason. Sehun was getting mad because Zi Tao was being so egoistic. He had been ignoring him for months, not caring about how Sehun had been suffering, crying himself to sleep almost every night, his body breaking from all the practice. But now that it was about Zi Tao losing him for good, he thought that he had a say in it?
“Don't fuck with me, Tao!” Sehun said angrily “EXO is not my dream! I would never abandon my dream. My dream has abandoned me! Months ago!” he finally screamed, and for a moment he saw remembrance in Zi Tao's eyes and than a little bit of shock “I've finally come to terms with it. I've finally realized that there is nothing I can do anymore. That's why I'm leaving! I am moving on.” Sehun made a pause, suddenly feeling like he was about to cry, but he wouldn't.
“Please Tao, let me move on.”
That's when the hands on his shoulders collapsed to his side, Tao's eyes being the last thing he ever wanted to look at again.
Sehun quickly shoved Tao to the side to press the move button again and it was only a few seconds later that they arrived at the top floor, the door opening. Sehun felt like Zi Tao had understood him and would let him go. Finally.
So he had thought.
Before Sehun could take anymore steps towards the huge door at the end of the empty corridor, without any warning, Zi Tao had hugged him from behind, pressing the whole length of his body against Sehun, legs against legs, chest against his back, Tao's cheek pressing against Sehun's from one side, a wet tear running down between them.
“Your dream has not abandoned you,” Tao said and Sehun just wanted to scream and toss and hit but he couldn't move because he didn't have the power. He was so so tired and this was more than he could handle. This had literally been the worst thing Zi Tao could have said to him now. The last words to break him.
“Let go, Tao,” he said voice only a whisper, because Tao had been right. It had been too late then and it was too late now. There was no going back.
“I will but before that can you listen for a second,” Zi Tao asked quietly, a few sobs leaving his mouth but Sehun could hear him try to stay calm and swallow the sounds down.
Sehun was about to say no because he didn't want to hear any more but Tao didn't even wait for an answer when he started talking.
“Remember that day three years ago? It was really hot and humid and I was late for practice. I'd already been late the day before so I was running really fast, I didn't want to get scolded again.”
Sehun didn't need to hear anymore to know which day Zi Tao was talking about. He didn't need to hear more to know where Tao was getting at and more importantly he didn't want to hear it. But something... something made him unable to stop Zi Tao.
“I was just a few steps away from the building when I ran into you. I hadn't even realized that there was a person standing right in front of me because I had been running for half an hour straight and was totally out of it. But when we bumped together and I turned around to apologize... you were looking at me like I was the most beautiful person you'd ever seen in your life” and suddenly there was the sobbing again and it took Sehun a second to realize that it wasn't Tao who was crying this time “and when I saw you look at me like that I just realized that I wanted to have someone look at me like that for the rest of my life.”
At first I was just in love with the thought of someone being so much in love with me that someone would follow me to SM and try to be a singer just so you could be close to me. It was so wonderful to see you chasing me and see you look all disappointed when I wouldn't look back at you and wouldn't talk to you.” Zi Tao was giggling a bit now but Sehun just felt his heart ripping apart more because he just wanted to go back to those innocent days but he knew that they couldn't. “And then you called me once and just hung up because you were too afraid to talk to me. And the way you looked at Yifan everytime I was sitting too close to him. I fell asleep smiling at the thought of that angry face of yours so many times.”
When we finally became friends it was because I had decided to make the first step because you were just too afraid of ever talking to me. I was looking forward to that weekend of training so much, I barely slept the night before. And when we met on Sunday... you were so perfect. I fell so much in love with you when we started spending more time together, but this time not because of the way you loved me. I honestly loved you for who you are. I was so happy just being close to you at first but soon it was getting harder and harder to bear just being friends. I would sleep over, undress myself in front of you and even jump into your shower with you and pretend to touch you by accident just to finally have you make a move on me. But you never did. Never.” Zi Tao said and suddenly he didn't sound that happy anymore “
And then the news of our debut and our separation came. I almost started crying hearing those words from the president and when you left me alone in that conference room, I almost came out running after you because I love you so much and the thought of losing you hurt so much. I was just trying so hard to not think about it. But then, of course, that day you decided to tell me that you wanted me to be with you... but we couldn't. So I was angry and hurt and... I made a mistake.” Tao finally admitted and Sehun was crying to hard by now, he felt disgusting and snotty but Zi Tao was still pressing himself against him from behind, cheek against cheek, hands resting tightly around Sehun's stomach.
“These past few months I've been thinking about how to approach you. At the beginning, I wouldn't because I just didn't know what to say or how to make things better... but after a while you had suddenly stopped paying any attention to me and... I thought that you had maybe gotten over me and did-”
“What kind of bullshit are you even talking about?” Sehun said for the first time, still sobbing but anger in his voice. “How could I ever not love you?”
“I don't know. I just don't know what I was thinking. I was so afraid that you'd suddenly reject me so... I didn't talk to you because I was thinking that having you by my side like that was still better than have you reject me... but then you've been looking so ill and miserable for the past few days and I just couldn't bear it anymore and now you are telling me that you want to leave and that I abandoned you and I just don't know what to do to change your mind.”
“Just...” Sehun started but he didn't know what to say. The answer was so easy but somehow it stood against everything he's been feeling for the past few weeks.
With Zi Tao holding on to him like that, not pulling away even though Sehun felt tired and disgusting, he realized how fucking easy everything could be if they would just be together. It didn't matter how, it didn't matter for how long. They'd be away from each other for a few months tops. They would never be separated for good as long as they were both in EXO. They could have a future together.
“Just don't ever let me go again,” Sehun concluded in a whisper and it didn't even take Zi Tao a second to turn him around in his arms and kiss him.
It was crazy. Officially, they had just been planning to get some bubble tea and then go to Zi Tao's place to rest after many exhausting hours of dance practice, with their debut just a week away. The moment they had entered Zi Tao's dorm room, though, closing the door behind them, they had turned into a mess of kisses and limps and fingers ripping at clothes. Sehun had no idea who had even started it because since them officially becoming boyfriends a few weeks ago there had been that incredible sexual tension between them. When Zi Tao had asked him to come to his place today even though it was so far away and so small and cramped, Sehun had been about to ask him why but then he had looked into Zi Tao's eyes and the question had answered itself. It was the only place where they'd really be completely alone. Just the two of them.
It only took them a few seconds to get the many layers of fabric off of their bodies and it was only when Sehun was pushed back into Tao's sheets that he actually realized that this was what he had been dreaming about for months - or even fucking years.
Zi Tao was covering Sehun's body with his own, cock pressing hard against his thigh when Sehun moaned out loud, telling his boyfriend to slow down. Tao didn't listen, though.
“Wait, I don't know what to do,” was the first proper sentence he was able to mutter after Tao's lips had separated from his after kissing him red and swollen.
“You're doing well,” Zi Tao answered and Sehun really didn't know what he was supposed to be doing well. His hands were roaming over Tao's back and further down, occasionally squeezing his buttocks, but he hadn't really been paying any attention to what he had been doing.
“Like this?” Sehun asked confused, squeezing his ass harder and Tao moaned a little against his neck, snuggling his nose right under Sehun's ear, making him shudder.
“Yea, just like that.” And those words were enough to convince Sehun to continue senselessly touching places of Zi Tao's body he hadn't touched before.
When he felt Zi Tao's lips leaving his neck, going deeper to kiss around his hard nipples and then even deeper, kissing right below his bellybutton, he knew exactly what was going to happen next.
“Oh god, don't”, he said even though he really didn't mean it and his hands were already in Tao's hair, pressing him down as Tao swallowed the head, licking over the tip skilfully. Sehun knew that there was no way that this was the first time Tao was doing this but he really didn't want to think about it and he wasn't able to anyway when Zi Tao suddenly went down on him deeper, swallowing the whole length of his dick and Sehun could feel the tip touching the back of Zi Tao's throat. He came right that second, moaning out loud and pulling one leg up to push deeper inside of him.
Sehun had imagined this so many times, had imagined Zi Tao licking up and down his dick deliciously, swallowing his cum while begging for more and non of those fantasies had come close to the real deal. He had just cum but he still felt desire burning through his body and when Zi Tao's lips let go of him with a plop, he could hardly contain himself from grasping the boy by the neck and press him down to fuck him hard into the sheets. But a fact was that Sehun had no idea how sex with a guy really worked so he had to wait for any more instructions before he could actually do something.
“Want to return the favour?” Zi Tao asked after having caught the boy staring at his dick, and Sehun nodded willingly but then the older boy laughed at him and reached to his desk drawer. “Afterwards, ok?”
“After what?” Sehun asked and Zi Tao just grinned, pulling out a bottle of what looked like lube to wiggly it in front of Sehun's face.
“Why do you even have that?”
“Just in case,” the Chinese boy grinned.
Sehun was pushed back down right at that moment with Tao straddling his lap and opening the lid of the bottle. Tracing the index finger covered in liquid behind his own back, Tao suddenly made a little sound that send sparks through Sehun's body and because he was way too afraid to cum again just from watching Zi Tao finger himself on top of him, he decided to help out, sliding his hands to where Tao had buried his index deep inside just so he could replace it with his own.
“Do you know what you're doing?”, Zi Tao asked, leaning forward and accepting Sehun's finger inside of him, a small moan coming from his lips when Sehun started rushing and buried another two fingers inside at once. “Slow down.” And Sehun tried to do that, only moving his fingers slowly and carefully so not to stretch too much at first, but after some minutes passing and Tao getting softer he started moving his fingers in and out in a quick rhythm, watching Zitao hungrily as the boy slowly started losing control over his body and pressed back against Sehun's hands. When Zi Tao finally nudged Sehun's arm to the side, as to show him that he was ready, he grasped the little bottle of liquid again, smearing some of it on his penis as well as Tao's entrance.
“This time you really can't rush it”, Tao said and Sehun nodded. And suddenly Zi Tao was lifting his body up a bit just to lower himself again, holding on to Sehun's dick with one hand and leading it to his hole.
“Don't move, Sehun.”
He didn't.
Sehun felt so hot, he wanted to gasp at that completely new and out-of-the-world sensation oft his tip slowly disappearing inside of Zi Tao. Watching the Chinese boy sliding down on him at the same time, so beautiful and sexy, made Sehun completely unable to do anything. And he really couldn't believe that feeling like this was even possible when Tao started moving a little bit, lifting himself up just to push down again.
“Oh god”, Sehun moaned when he heard his boyfriend make those really sexy sounds, moaning Sehun's name in between.
From then on the whole thing turned into a huge mess with Sehun having a hard time keeping up his rhythm, Zi Tao becoming hyper-sensitive to every single touch Sehun's fingers would leave on his body, and soon both of them were cuming hard, Zi Tao collapsing forward and crashing on Sehun with his whole weight.
Sehun could hear the Chinese boy whimper into his ear as he pulled out, breathing hard and putting a hand to his boyfriends neck, stroking lightly.
“God, is sex always this exhausting?” Sehun asked, surprised at the steady sound of his voice because he really felt like he could fall asleep right that second and not wake up for at least another 24 hours.
“How would I know,” was Zi Tao's answer which caused Sehun too look down at him with a frown on his forehead.
“You seemed so experienced.”
“I watch a lot of porn.”
“Oh.”
Zi Tao fell asleep first, limps resting against Sehun, head pillowed on his chest. Sehun's fingers were still tracing over the sleeping boy's neck, occasionally touching his ear and shoulder while staring up the wall and thinking about what had just happened. He couldn't help but grin at the thought, snickering to himself before pulling the taller boy into his arms and falling asleep shortly after.
Day D. They had been expecting this day for months and now it was finally here. The EXO-M members had packed their bags and were about to get into the van and drive to the airport to leave for China. Three weeks of promoting there and then they'd be back for a few days.
Zi Tao was leaving for now and even though it was sad and Sehun would be lonely, he was going to send him of with a smile on his lips.
The two of them had spent the last few days together, every minute every second holding on to each other, cuddling, kissing, hugging and their members had been complaining at the beginning but gotten used to it after a while. “Young love,” Minseok had said while rolling his eyes and shooed Joonmyeon out of their shared room so Sehun and Tao could have some private time which had become somehow harder after EXO had moved into a dorm together.
They had talked about it a lot. How to handle being separated for such a long time, coming to the conclusion than Skype would make them able to bear the days or weeks apart. Sehun could handle it, he knew it. Tao would too.
“We need to go now,” their manager shouted from downstairs, the other members saying their goodbyes and then leaving for the car. Zi Tao had stayed back to hug and kiss Sehun hard on the lips one last time, grinning at him when pulling back.
“You seem happy,” Sehun said, a smile on his lips as well as he passed Tao his bag and the Chinese boy swung it over his shoulders.
“I am excited!” Zi Tao said happily.
“About what?” Sehun asked curiously before he was suddenly pulled back into a short but intense kiss and let go of just as fast again.
“Seeing my boyfriend again in three weeks!”
__
the end.
I promised you guys that I would finish this story so I did. I know, it took a while but a lot of stuff happened in those past few month (like moving and uni and writing other fanfics *cought*). Anyway, I hope you liked the way it turned out.
This is not betad yet.
I hope you can leave me a little feedback here in the comment section if you've come this far. (I've enabled the anonymous function so you should be able to comment even if you don't have an lj account^^). Thanks
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