Relationships and Recovery - Week Two Notes
First thing, let me appologize to my students for giving you the wrong address. If you are reading this it means you are smarter than I was and found the LJ entries anyway. Without further ado, the notes:
DESTINY SCHOOL OF MINISTRY
Year 5 Term 1 - Relationships & Recovery
August 17th, 2009 - Week 2
I. Prayer for students and class Q&A
II. Discuss chapters 1-3 of Boundaries
III. Lesson “Assessment”
IV. Assign Homework
Assessment
The assumption of students in this program are that they are in training to become ministers in their local church or in some function in the body of Christ. Today’s lesson will focus on assessing the needs of the person with a problem and assessment of available responses.
A few notes on you:
“… I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.' "Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink? When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You? Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?' And the King will answer and say to them, 'Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.' (Matthew 25:35-40)
You are frequently presented with the opportunity to serve God by serving people. The job of a counselor is similar to that of any servant. A servant waits and sees what the needs are of his master, and then fills those needs as he or she can, or calls in help to get the job done.
As a counselor, God constantly puts people in my life that he wants me to be Jesus for in that moment. Sometimes that is all the time I will be allowed for ministering to them. More frequently people wander in and out of my life and God lets me minister to them for extended periods of time; some for several weeks, some for several years. Each person God brings into my life is a new chance to serve Him by serving the body. One way the Christian counselor differs from the secular one is that this is also a chance for you to get ministered to. Each person you meat has a unique perspective and set of gifts that God has given them to minister to the body.
What are you capable of providing?
“…do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of God.” (Ephesians 5:18-21)
You have made it through many difficult portions of your life. At the very least, you have your own testimony to offer. You do not turn to substance abuse to fix your problems but were lead away by the kindness of God to a higher calling. If nothing else, you have this experience in the Lord to share with those who are going through hard times.
Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints.. (Ephesians 6:13-18)
Another thing you have right now is the ability to wage spiritual warfare on someone else’s behalf. You know how to combat lies with the truth. A large part of counseling is helping the other person learn how to combat those lies. Professionals call this “cognitive therapy”, which is simply learning to organize your own thoughts. Biblically we call this “taking every thought captive” (2nd Corinthians 10:4).
Counseling Toolbox: Group Counseling
My preferred method of providing relationship and recovery assistance (which I recommend every one to try at some point) is through Group Counseling, but I don’t usually call it that. Group counseling at is most basic consists multiple people being helped at the same time. This form of counseling naturally occurs in many settings, prayer meetings, bible studies, classrooms, family meetings, etc. I have partaken in “group counseling sessions” where there was no leader and we were all working towards the same goals together. I have also lead groups professionally for a variety of issues. There is something about being humble enough to discuss your problems in front of others that inspires the other people to want to change and help as well. Anyone can start a “prayer meeting” or a “book study” group with the group focusing on solving a common problem. One word of caution before employing this method though, the leader (or initiator of the group) should have at least one person of spiritual authority through whom they regularly meet to discuss group dynamics and progress. It’s a good idea to use your pastors for such accountability. It what they’re there for!
Assessing the needs:
Let’s assume that someone approaches you and it’s apparent they feel they need advice but aren’t sure who to talk to. What are the steps to deciding if you should be involved and how you should be involved?
Spiritual Discernment - “For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.” (Romans 8:14) This is a gift of the Holy Spirit but also crosses the line of learning God’s voice. Is the spirit of God leading you to help this person? Might the spirit of God be cautioning you not to help this person? Don’t make commitments until you can pray about it or have a peace.
Scriptural Principal - “All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.” (2 Timothy 3:16-17) What does the Bible say about tying yourself to this person? When we commit ourselves to helping someone we are opening our own hearts up them to an extent. Jesus did this for us unto death. At other times in the scripture we are cautioned not to interact with some people. What does the scripture say about if you should commit to helping this person? If you do find that you should be helping them, what does the scripture say about their issues?
Experience - Are you so foolish? Having begun in the Spirit, are you now being made perfect by the flesh? (Galatians 3:3) Sometimes our best tool is our own past. Having been through an issue might make you an expert. God can use your past to direct you and help others, remembering to lean on Him at all times in the process.
Spiritual Leaders - “But now God has set the members, each one of them, in the body just as He pleased.” (1 Corinthians 12:18) Whenever taking on new roles in the church it’s a really good idea to remain accountable to the established church authority. God has good reasons for setting it up this way.
Professional Cross-reference - It’s always a good idea to see what the experts say. Other counselors and books on the topic will provide insight into the situation by those that have gone before you.
Where can the person be referred to for needs?
When you recognize that the person needs help, is looking to you for the assistance and you know that you do not have the tools, experience, skills, gifts, etc.. to fill that need as a counselor you need to at least be able to point them in the right direction. Often this means knowing a handful of other specialty counselors that you can recommend. There are times when I recommend people to visit their personal doctor, a marriage counselor, a favorite pastor and at times I refer people to favorite counseling center whose staff I am familiar with.
We had a great discussion on boundaries in class today. I look forward to continuing that discussion next week and perhaps online.
The homework assignment for next week was to write a 1-2 page paper summary of chapters 4-6. Also, each student was tasked with finding a mental health professional that could be used for referrals for when the mental health issues are beyond the abillity of a counseling minister to provide.
Peace in Christ.