Tywin Lannister, PM, Part II
A continuation of an earlier fic--these characters belong to GRRM.
Tywin decided he’d had enough grief from his children, his son-in-law and his grandson-it was time to tell them where they got off. He felt he needed to talk to someone about what he should do-how he missed Joanna! If only she had been there by his side! Well, there was no point grieving for all that he had lost when she breathed her last-he would have to talk to Genna instead. He refused to speak to Darlessa or Dorna-they did not understand the pressures he faced.
He called Genna, who was staying in Casterly Rock-he had refused to let her stay at the Twins, even after her marriage to that fool of a Frey, which his father had arranged in a moment of weakness. Although, come to think of it, he could not remember a time when Tytos had not been a weak man-especially after the death of Tywin’s mother. And to fall for that two-bit secretary, in her microscopic mini-skirts and blouses with plunging necklines; to give her all his mother’s jewellery and fine Paris gowns!
Luckily, Genna was only too glad to come to London-she needed to shop for presents, and nothing was available in Lannisport. She refused to use the Internet shopping portals, because she believed someone would hack into her account and clean it out. She had several complaints about Edmure Tully, Ned Stark’s idiot brother-in-law, who was involved with the Occupy movement and was frothing in the mouth about the closing down of libraries. Somehow, the thought of Edmure pleased him; at least both Stark and Arryn had an idiot relative who was just as troublesome as his own family. She agreed to meet him for lunch at Downing Street on Friday after a shopping spree in Oxford Street in the morning-she would spend the weekend in London with him and go home on Monday morning.
As soon as Genna walked in, with at least a hundred bags in each hand, she demanded, “Did Roose Bolton send you the Laphroaig? Because if he did, you can pour me a stiff one before you start telling me your problems. I do get the newspapers in Casterly, you know-and I know you want to talk to me about something serious; you have that look on your face.”
He should have reprimanded her-he was her elder brother, after all-ladies did not drink spirits at all, not even on Fridays, not at lunch. He could not recall either his mother or Joanna drinking the way Genna did-but then, neither of those dearly departed ladies was married to Emmott, that fool of a Frey.
He poured Genna a stiff one, and took a second for himself. They sat down to talk about her children and his; their troublesome nieces and nephews, such as Tyrek and his fling with Ermesande Hayford, who was still at school. “What’s wrong with the boy?” Tywin wondered. “Tygett had a problem with his temper-it seems his son will be arrested for pursuing schoolgirls.”
“He says he only helps her with her homework,” she said, raising an eyebrow. “Of course, the girl’s a wealthy young orphan-both parents dead in a car accident when she was still a baby. I told him to wait till she was out of school; he does care for her a lot.”
For her or her money? Tywin wondered. He could not blame Tyrek-Tygett had never been a wealthy man, and his son, although a Lannister, did feel the lack of wealth in his life. And Ermesande was a lovely little thing, who was quite passionately devoted to Tyrek.
Finally, they got to talking about his children. Genna was blunt and brisk, like a surgeon or a general, “You can do nothing about Jaime; if you interfere in the enquiry, the press will get after you, the way they got after Maggie Thatcher because she tried to help her son. Cersei-she really has to learn to keep her mouth shut. Don’t send her abroad as your representative; keep her here at home and clip her wings. No safe seats for her at all unless she learns to behave in public. She shamed the country, not just herself or her family.”
“As for Robert-talk to Jon Arryn and Ned Stark; he loves and respects those two. Cersei’s always hated them and shunned them-you should not make her mistake.”
“How do you know she hates and shuns them?” he asked, surprised.
“From the way she talks about them. I don’t think she’s ever forgiven Robert for getting engaged to Ned’s sister, or for Jon and Ned and Robert for getting together a party revolt against Aerys Targaryen when his much-married son practically kidnapped her and lived with her for a year. Good thing they did too, or we would have been ruled by a mad megalomaniac, like Muammar Gaddafi or Saddam Hussein. And as for Rhaegar-I really don’t know what you and Cersei saw in that boy. The father was mad and the boy was madder than that. To think he could get away with kidnapping a girl in this day and age, even if his father was the PM! And just when Aerys was touting the virtues of family life in public too!”
“Talking of mad, what do I do about Joffrey? He seems to be obsessed with the Stark girl. Robert wanted the engagement; he was desperate for his son to marry Ned’s daughter, to seal their friendship. But then everyone noticed how rough he was with her; she’s a gentle girl, very well-behaved and well-bred. Tyrion raised hell-apparently, she was his student and he saw Joff slap her. The next thing you know, he filed a police case against Joff and got a restraining order. And then he hired someone Renly Baratheon recommended as her bodyguard-Police Sergeant Brienne Tarth.”
Genna was looking at him thoughtfully. “Didn’t the Starks or Robert complain about Tyrion’s interference?”
“No-Robert was furious with Joffrey and then Cersei was furious with him and Tyrion, for not taking the side of her precious son, their flesh and blood. She came raving to me, saying the Stark girl had bewitched them both.”
Genna swallowed her whisky and held out her tumbler for a refill. “Joffrey needs to see a psychiatrist-he needs to be sorted out. Robert stopped being fond of him after that incident with the cat. You remember-when he ripped open the belly of a pregnant cat to see the kittens. Robert hit him so hard he broke two of his baby teeth. And Cersei got angry because he hit her precious boy. Better get him to a shrink fast.”
“And what about Tyrion? What do I do so that he does not get caught with his pants down abroad?”
“Just how old is Tyrion?”
“Twenty-nine or thirty-old enough to know and behave better.”
“How old were you when you married, Tywin?”
“Twenty-one-I was just out of university.”
“Perhaps you should have let Tyrion marry that girl-what was her name again? Tysha? Stop scowling, Tywin-there’s no harm in a little honest yeoman stock being grafted on to the Lannister family tree. She really liked him.”
“Until I offered her and her family a lot of money to stop thinking about him.”
“Was that before or after you bought up all the debts on her father’s organic farm and demanded immediate payment? She gave her father the money, all of it, and then she went abroad-I don’t know where. I tried to find out, but...she eluded me. He loved that girl and he deserves to know the truth of what you did to break up his relationship.”
“She was a bloody shop assistant, Genna!”
“A lot of women work for their living, Tywin-Joanna and I worked with you, when you were starting out, remember?”
“That was different-it was an emergency. You don’t work for a living now.”
“No-more’s the pity. She was working to help her father-oh, I found out about it all from the servants. They needed the money to keep the farm going. They’re doing well now-but she left the country to go teach English somewhere.”
“Good-she’s the last person I want him to get involved with. I want him to marry a woman of birth and breeding, like his mother and his sister.”
Genna gave him an incredulous look. “Please don’t tell Tyrion to marry someone like Cersei-they hate each other like poison. I suppose you don’t know that, do you?”
“What do I do about him, Genna? I don’t want to go over the past-he’s caused us all a lot of embarrassment.”
“I think,” she said firmly, “he caused himself more embarrassment than he did you. Tell him to find a nice girl and get married. Give him your specifications for a perfect daughter-in-law-see what he has to say.”
They talked no more about the family after that-they spoke of pleasanter matters, such as the garden at Casterly Rock and how it was coming along; the Duchess of Cambridge’s pregnancy; the performance of the English cricket team in India-Tywin had always been against immigration, but he felt one had to recognize its benefits when Monty Panesar demolished the Indian batting order in match after match. After lunch, when Genna retired for a post-prandial snooze, he wrote himself a memo:
JAIME-hang out to dry
CERSEI-put on a leash-no foreign junkets, no safe seat
ROBERT-talk to Jon Arryn and Ned Stark-lunch at the Commons?
JOFFREY-find a discreet psychiatrist
TYRION-tell him to get married-woman of birth and breeding; no shop assistants or farmer’s daughters
He got back to work, feeling satisfied-it always did him good to have a chat with Genna, although he hated her comparing him with Tyrion. He knew better than to consort with women of dubious virtue; he’d learnt from his father’s example to avoid them like the plague.
Tywin decided he’d had enough grief from his children, his son-in-law and his grandson-it was time to tell them where they got off. He felt he needed to talk to someone about what he should do-how he missed Joanna! If only she had been there by his side! Well, there was no point grieving for all that he had lost when she breathed her last-he would have to talk to Genna instead. He refused to speak to Darlessa or Dorna-they did not understand the pressures he faced.
He called Genna, who was staying in Casterly Rock-he had refused to let her stay at the Twins, even after her marriage to that fool of a Frey, which his father had arranged in a moment of weakness. Although, come to think of it, he could not remember a time when Tytos had not been a weak man-especially after the death of Tywin’s mother. And to fall for that two-bit secretary, in her microscopic mini-skirts and blouses with plunging necklines; to give her all his mother’s jewellery and fine Paris gowns!
Luckily, Genna was only too glad to come to London-she needed to shop for presents, and nothing was available in Lannisport. She refused to use the Internet shopping portals, because she believed someone would hack into her account and clean it out. She had several complaints about Edmure Tully, Ned Stark’s idiot brother-in-law, who was involved with the Occupy movement and was frothing in the mouth about the closing down of libraries. Somehow, the thought of Edmure pleased him; at least both Stark and Arryn had an idiot relative who was just as troublesome as his own family. She agreed to meet him for lunch at Downing Street on Friday after a shopping spree in Oxford Street in the morning-she would spend the weekend in London with him and go home on Monday morning.
As soon as Genna walked in, with at least a hundred bags in each hand, she demanded, “Did Roose Bolton send you the Laphroaig? Because if he did, you can pour me a stiff one before you start telling me your problems. I do get the newspapers in Casterly, you know-and I know you want to talk to me about something serious; you have that look on your face.”
He should have reprimanded her-he was her elder brother, after all-ladies did not drink spirits at all, not even on Fridays, not at lunch. He could not recall either his mother or Joanna drinking the way Genna did-but then, neither of those dearly departed ladies was married to Emmott, that fool of a Frey.
He poured Genna a stiff one, and took a second for himself. They sat down to talk about her children and his; their troublesome nieces and nephews, such as Tyrek and his fling with Ermesande Hayford, who was still at school. “What’s wrong with the boy?” Tywin wondered. “Tygett had a problem with his temper-it seems his son will be arrested for pursuing schoolgirls.”
“He says he only helps her with her homework,” she said, raising an eyebrow. “Of course, the girl’s a wealthy young orphan-both parents dead in a car accident when she was still a baby. I told him to wait till she was out of school; he does care for her a lot.”
For her or her money? Tywin wondered. He could not blame Tyrek-Tygett had never been a wealthy man, and his son, although a Lannister, did feel the lack of wealth in his life. And Ermesande was a lovely little thing, who was quite passionately devoted to Tyrek.
Finally, they got to talking about his children. Genna was blunt and brisk, like a surgeon or a general, “You can do nothing about Jaime; if you interfere in the enquiry, the press will get after you, the way they got after Maggie Thatcher because she tried to help her son. Cersei-she really has to learn to keep her mouth shut. Don’t send her abroad as your representative; keep her here at home and clip her wings. No safe seats for her at all unless she learns to behave in public. She shamed the country, not just herself or her family.”
“As for Robert-talk to Jon Arryn and Ned Stark; he loves and respects those two. Cersei’s always hated them and shunned them-you should not make her mistake.”
“How do you know she hates and shuns them?” he asked, surprised.
“From the way she talks about them. I don’t think she’s ever forgiven Robert for getting engaged to Ned’s sister, or for Jon and Ned and Robert for getting together a party revolt against Aerys Targaryen when his much-married son practically kidnapped her and lived with her for a year. Good thing they did too, or we would have been ruled by a mad megalomaniac, like Muammar Gaddafi or Saddam Hussein. And as for Rhaegar-I really don’t know what you and Cersei saw in that boy. The father was mad and the boy was madder than that. To think he could get away with kidnapping a girl in this day and age, even if his father was the PM! And just when Aerys was touting the virtues of family life in public too!”
“Talking of mad, what do I do about Joffrey? He seems to be obsessed with the Stark girl. Robert wanted the engagement; he was desperate for his son to marry Ned’s daughter, to seal their friendship. But then everyone noticed how rough he was with her; she’s a gentle girl, very well-behaved and well-bred. Tyrion raised hell-apparently, she was his student and he saw Joff slap her. The next thing you know, he filed a police case against Joff and got a restraining order. And then he hired someone Renly Baratheon recommended as her bodyguard-Police Sergeant Brienne Tarth.”
Genna was looking at him thoughtfully. “Didn’t the Starks or Robert complain about Tyrion’s interference?”
“No-Robert was furious with Joffrey and then Cersei was furious with him and Tyrion, for not taking the side of her precious son, their flesh and blood. She came raving to me, saying the Stark girl had bewitched them both.”
Genna swallowed her whisky and held out her tumbler for a refill. “Joffrey needs to see a psychiatrist-he needs to be sorted out. Robert stopped being fond of him after that incident with the cat. You remember-when he ripped open the belly of a pregnant cat to see the kittens. Robert hit him so hard he broke two of his baby teeth. And Cersei got angry because he hit her precious boy. Better get him to a shrink fast.”
“And what about Tyrion? What do I do so that he does not get caught with his pants down abroad?”
“Just how old is Tyrion?”
“Twenty-nine or thirty-old enough to know and behave better.”
“How old were you when you married, Tywin?”
“Twenty-one-I was just out of university.”
“Perhaps you should have let Tyrion marry that girl-what was her name again? Tysha? Stop scowling, Tywin-there’s no harm in a little honest yeoman stock being grafted on to the Lannister family tree. She really liked him.”
“Until I offered her and her family a lot of money to stop thinking about him.”
“Was that before or after you bought up all the debts on her father’s organic farm and demanded immediate payment? She gave her father the money, all of it, and then she went abroad-I don’t know where. I tried to find out, but...she eluded me. He loved that girl and he deserves to know the truth of what you did to break up his relationship.”
“She was a bloody shop assistant, Genna!”
“A lot of women work for their living, Tywin-Joanna and I worked with you, when you were starting out, remember?”
“That was different-it was an emergency. You don’t work for a living now.”
“No-more’s the pity. She was working to help her father-oh, I found out about it all from the servants. They needed the money to keep the farm going. They’re doing well now-but she left the country to go teach English somewhere.”
“Good-she’s the last person I want him to get involved with. I want him to marry a woman of birth and breeding, like his mother and his sister.”
Genna gave him an incredulous look. “Please don’t tell Tyrion to marry someone like Cersei-they hate each other like poison. I suppose you don’t know that, do you?”
“What do I do about him, Genna? I don’t want to go over the past-he’s caused us all a lot of embarrassment.”
“I think,” she said firmly, “he caused himself more embarrassment than he did you. Tell him to find a nice girl and get married. Give him your specifications for a perfect daughter-in-law-see what he has to say.”
They talked no more about the family after that-they spoke of pleasanter matters, such as the garden at Casterly Rock and how it was coming along; the Duchess of Cambridge’s pregnancy; the performance of the English cricket team in India-Tywin had always been against immigration, but he felt one had to recognize its benefits when Monty Panesar demolished the Indian batting order in match after match. After lunch, when Genna retired for a post-prandial snooze, he wrote himself a memo:
JAIME-hang out to dry
CERSEI-put on a leash-no foreign junkets, no safe seat
ROBERT-talk to Jon Arryn and Ned Stark-lunch at the Commons?
JOFFREY-find a discreet psychiatrist
TYRION-tell him to get married-woman of birth and breeding; no shop assistants or farmer’s daughters
He got back to work, feeling satisfied-it always did him good to have a chat with Genna, although he hated her comparing him with Tyrion. He knew better than to consort with women of dubious virtue; he’d learnt from his father’s example to avoid them like the plague.