Letters
Title: Letters
Genre: Romance
Pairings: Yunjae
Length: One-shot
Summary: -
Letters
Yunho-ah,
Have you realised that we don’t talk as much lately? I don’t think… well, I don’t want to think that we’ve changed. So, let’s just put it as we don’t have the chance to meet each other, or we’re actually avoiding each other.
Personally, I think that the latter explanation fits us better.
And I know you think so too.
You see, I’m writing you this because I find it so hard to talk to you these days. I’m not going to lie but it hurts me too much whenever I look into your eyes - even though I loved doing that so very much in the past.
Well, it was all in the past now, I know and I accept that. I have to.
Even if I don’t want to.
Perhaps you feel nothing for me right now, or perhaps you’re not feeling the thing that you’ve felt for me before anymore. But for me, I’m still the same. You know I am.
Because you have yet to return my heart to me.
Recently… I find myself hating beautiful and sexy slanted dark eyes. Why? Because they never failed to remind me about you - a person whom I loved and still love so dearly, with absolutely everything I’ve got.
Yes, I love you, I still do. And you know how I love.
I love by giving.
And for all I’ve given, I think I deserve at least an explanation about your decision because I find it very hard, in fact, too hard to understand. We’re lovers, right? Aren’t we supposed to stay together despite poor or rich, joy or sorrow, triumph or defeat? Why are you defying this? Why are you betraying me when I need you the most?
I don’t understand, really. So I’m hurt. And the scalding pain from all these, it’s simply too much for just a person to bear, especially for a sensitive person like me.
You know what decision I’m talking about, I know you do. So please, don’t… I mean DON’T play dumb with me. I’m too tired to handle anymore of these.
If you love me, hold my heart and heal my pain.
And if you don’t, undo my shackles and set me free.
Still yours,
Jae
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Jaejoong-ah,
I’m so sorry, I’m so very sorry, Jae. Just… listen to me for a while, alright?
I’m yours.
Always have been, always will be.
But before I became yours, I first have to become a man - a man who can take hold of his own responsibilities, a man who knows how to think for more before he thinks for one. I need to be a man worthy enough for your love.
Money and power can do a lot of things, Jae, if not everything. I know our manager isn’t treating us right, but I can’t allow our band to be crushed just like that under his pressure. I need to stay with him to ensure that we still have a place to stand in Korean musical industries.
All five of us, we have to sing together as a group until we have wrinkles all over and we’re forced to strip away our pretty boys title. I want all of us to keep singing for a long, long time until we need like three different sets of spectacles each to see and read properly, Jae.
I want us to be like that, to keep singing like that, to get old together like that, and I’m going to make it happens no matter what it takes.
Because this has always been our dream.
And even if this means that I’m going to be crowned as the “traitor” of our group, I don’t give a damn because it’s my responsibility as a leader, as a man and as your man. So I’m more than willing to bear these weights on my shoulder.
I’m not asking for much Jae, just try to understand my decision for a little. You and your understanding, you know how much they meant to me. For now, I can’t even stand to look at you because your eyes give away too much of your pain, and it hurts me as well.
I love you, Jae. I love you very, very much.
And so I’m going to keep your heart with me for a little while longer.
Always yours,
Yunho
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A/N: I don’t think this is going to make any sense. Hopefully the fic isn’t as weird as I thought it is. Blah, I don’t even know why the hell I was writing instead of sleeping at 5am. Anyway, enjoy and do drop me a review if you liked it. =D