Nobody Ever Choked From Swallowing Their Pride (PG-13) for kitty_mrowr
Title: Nobody Ever Choked From Swallowing Their Pride
Author:
Pairing: Draco/Ginny
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: -
Summary: It's five months since Voldemort's defeat, and Draco has returned to Hogwarts to retake his last year. Circumstance intervenes and pairs him in class with Ginny Weasley. 2244 words.
Notes: Thanks to Luce for checking this over, it kept straying back and forth from what I originally set out to write - but in the end I was happy with it. This piece was written for kitty_mrowr, the main issue was trying to combine angst with a relatively happy ending, but I hope it's okay. ♥
October, 1998
Draco Malfoy lowered his head as the sound of his footsteps on the cold stone paving echoed through the corridor. Left, right, left, right. The doors of the Great Hall were wide open, as usual during meal times, and he was about to step through them for the first time since the war. Every step he took was a blow to his memories: fire, glass, blood, bodies: the images bombarded his senses, forcing him to struggle to keep balance.
Everything was clean and clear now, it had taken an extra month, but it was all repaired. Repaired, but not the same. Draco wondered if Hogwarts would ever be the same again.
The joy and relief in the air since that fateful day in summer gave Draco little peace; for regret is a large burden to bear, and Draco suffered under it.
"You have got to be kidding me," were the words that travelled to Draco's ears from the entrance to the Great Hall. He recognised the voice and looked up, snarling, to see Hermione Granger standing staring at him with her mouth agape. His first thought was how inelegant she looked. Typical, he thought.
"Problem, Granger?" he asked after a relatively awkward battle within himself regarding what to reply. He did regret what he had done, what he had become, but he'd hardly admit that to the likes of her. Bloody Gryffindors with their presumptuous notions, like they have the god-given right to know everything.
"Who on earth let you back here?" she answered hoarsely. Draco thought he could see tears glistening in her eyes, but Granger's problems were of little concern to him.
"I don't believe that's any of your business," he said walking up to her, "so if you'll excuse me." He ended curtly and made his way through the doors to the Great Hall.
Audible shocks ran throughout the tables of Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and most vocal of all was Gryffindor. Draco tried his hardest to block everything out and strode with his head held high to the head of the Slytherin table. The fact that most of the Slytherins seemed to shy away from him disconcerted him even more, but he was determined not to let it show. One more year, one more year was what he repeated over and over to himself as he sat absent mindedly eating his bangers and mash and casually wondering if the standard of food had dropped slightly. Daring to take a cheeky glimpse around the room, he saw - amongst others - the intensely curious glare of Ginny Weasley boring into his eyes. He looked down immediately; if he had lost any more of his pride he would have admitted to himself that he looked down out of shame, but pride was the one thing he did still have. He spent the rest of the meal wishing he had glared back, and glared back harder.
***
Draco never did care for Transfiguration; compared to Potions, Charms, and DADA it was just dull. And Draco was not dull.
"At least we don't have McGonagall any more eh, thank god for small mercies," he muttered, expecting to find both Crabbe and Goyle by his side. Instead he found himself alone on the work bench, hoping that no one had heard him talk to himself. No, Draco really did not care for Transfiguration.
"Good morning, students. Please get out your books and allow me to introduce myself. I am Professor Murphy and I will be taking you in Transfiguration this year, since your previous teacher is now, as you well know, your Headmistress. But, as they say, as one door closes another opens!"
On this last note, the Professor winked at Draco who had more than a sour look sketched across his face.
Professor Lina Murphy was at heart, a romantic. In her lessons she longed to see smiles, and passion, and magic, and if she had to give a little help along the way to achieve her perfect class, then she would. "What that boy needs," she thought to herself, "is the company of a charming young lady. He looks so forlorn there on his own. A bit of fire, a bit of energy, that's what he needs."
And so it began. Professor Murphy had started Draco off on a journey that would take him who knows where, and it all started with thirteen words.
"First things first, class partners! Draco Malfoy, you are paired with Ginny Weasley."
***
Over the coming weeks, Professor Murphy saw a notable difference in both Draco and Ginny, and it made her heart smile. "Well done, Lina!" she wrote in her diary. Mission Accomplished. Or so she thought. It was a Wednesday afternoon lesson when Ginny Weasley came storming into the classroom quickly followed by Draco. Professor Murphy could not get one word of protest out before Ginny said "Please may I be assigned another partner?"
"That is quite out of the question Ginny. What is wrong with Mr Malfoy?"
"I can not work with him, Professor Murphy. Please may I be assigned another partner?"
"But you've been getting on well enough so far, have you not?"
Only silence greeted her. She'd written a journal entry! All could not disintegrate for her now. She sighed a heavy sigh.
"I can make no promises, and you will not be able to change partners for at least another week, but there may be a possibility after that if you find you absolutely can not work together. If that was the case I would be extremely disappointed. I would hope you both to exercise some tolerance. Now, please be seated."
***
Earlier that day, Draco and Ginny had met in the library for some Transfiguration research. At least, that's the name they gave it. Professor Murphy's observations had not deceived her. Draco and Ginny had learnt to get along over the opening weeks of term. Something that Draco had never imagined himself being able to do. It shocked him, it unnerved him, it excited him. There was something about Ginny - it may have always been there, but he had never paid attention to her before - she had an honesty about her. An unashamed, dignified, frank honesty that Draco found (more than a little to his disgust) refreshing and endearing. In all his years Draco never imagined he would find anyone endearing, let alone a girl, let alone a Weasley. But there it was. Ginny Weasley, with her fiery red hair, her cheeky smile, her glinting eyes, her sharp mind - endearing. It would be an underestimate to say that Draco was scared about this development. Scared, ashamed, and repulsed. In his mind, a Slytherin just did not feel this way about a Gryffindor. House Unity just did not extend that far. Not in the Malfoy household.
"Is everything alright, Draco?"
"What?"
"I asked if everything was alright? You seem a bit ... distant today."
"I'm exactly the same as I always am, are you ready to work or not?"
Ginny hadn't heard Draco speak this way since the first day they were partnered together. Draco could see the curiosity in her eyes, and it offended him.
"What the hell are you looking at me like that for, Weasley?"
"I'm ready to work, Malfoy, if that's alright with you."
A deathly silence, with deathly glares, made up the next hour and a half until noon.
***
Over lunch, words were exchanged.
Draco saw Ginny and Hermione eating sandwiches on the grounds. For November the weather was surprisingly good, like they were almost living in the summer they had all lost. After five minutes of just watching them sit and eat their lunch, Hermione left Ginny alone.
“Is it okay if I join you?” Draco asked, seating himself beside Ginny.
“Sure,” she answered bluntly.
After a while in silence, Ginny asked suggestively - “So, have you got something you’d like to say to me then?”
“Like?”
“Like, oh I don’t know, like an apology?”
“For what, exactly?”
“For acting like a prat, exactly.”
A deathly look from Draco prompted Ginny to reiterate quite fiercely just how much of a prat he had been, but she feared she was being counter-productive. Draco was getting angrier with every word Ginny uttered, and he kept reminding her of the arrogant Draco of old. Instead, she leant and gently touched his arm to catch and hold his gaze. She whispered gently to him, “Draco, nobody ever choked from swallowing their pride.”
Draco was caught in Ginny’s eyes, and felt like they were inviting him in. Her words were doing their best to sooth him, he could tell, and not many people had ever tried to sooth him before. He was drawing his face in nearer and nearer to hers, until they were almost touching. Her lips---
“Draco, I’m with Harry!” Ginny squealed softly, pulling back sharply.
“Oh, don’t make me laugh.”
“Excuse me?”
“You’re a joke, Weasley. ‘You’re with Potter?’”
“How dare you!”
“How dare I? Well where is he now? When was the last time you saw him? You were the one practically begging for me to kiss you. Swallow your pride and all that!”
“Yes, swallow your pride and apologize not kiss me, you arrogant stuck up prig! And he is busy, he is working - but I forgot, you don't know what that means. He's training to be an Auror, you know - to protect us against dark magic? Oh, but I forgot. You don't know what that means either.”
***
A week passed.
"You still can’t sort out your differences?"
A steely silence provided Professor Murphy with an answer in the negative.
***
November, 1998
Draco was used to working alone, he’d done it most of his life. With no siblings, and no friends that didn’t just follow him out of fear, he’d never really worked together with someone until Ginny. That’s what made her different for Draco. It wasn’t just that she stood up to him whenever she saw fit, many other Gryffindors had, but that for all that he’d done, she still treated him with respect. Perhaps it was the guilt that had clouded over him in the last year, the guilt that refused to go away, but Draco struggled to feel worthy of this treatment.
Her brother had died. Died, and yet she didn’t treat him with contempt. Draco knew he wasn’t to blame for Fred, for any direct death - but the image of Dumbledore on the tower still haunted him.
***
One day, Ginny asked him about it. If the question had come from anybody else, he would have told them in particularly colourful language exactly where to go. But as Draco already knew, Ginny was different.
Their time apart had softened the tension between them. Small nods were exchanged at first as they passed by each other in corridors. The nods gradually morphed into gentle smiles. Eventually, the smiles turned into words, and words into conversation.
They were friends again, at least for now.
“Draco,” Ginny began one lunch time as they both sat at the Slytherin table, “can I ask you why you did it?”
“Did what?” he replied rather absent-mindedly.
“Dumbledore, Death Eater... all of it?” Ginny awkwardly spilled out.
“Oh. That.”
***
“Ginny-”
“Yes?”
“This conversation is between us, understand?”
She squeezed his hand.
“Of course.”
***
December, 1998
“Draco, they’re holding a winter dance this year. Would you like to go with me?”
“A dance?” he replied, scoffing as he spoke.
“Yes. A dance! It will be fun, I promise.”
“Yes, well won’t Potter mind that his beloved will be going with a Malfoy?”
“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”
Draco smiled, and nodded his assent.
***
“I could get used to this,” Ginny said.
“What?”
“Dancing with you.”
“That’s all we ever do,” Draco replied.
***
The corridors were dark and quiet. People were either in bed or too drunk to move. It had been a good night.
“Thank you, I had a really great night,” Ginny told him as they walked back together in the darkness. She had taken her heels off and was walking barefoot along the stone. Draco’s strong footsteps were the only sound.
“Draco-”
“What is it?”
“Nothing, I just...”
In the shadows, Ginny stepped forward and kissed him. Softly, and slowly she put her lips to his and kissed him three times. Draco counted. When she pulled away, she apologized.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, “I just wanted to know what that would feel like.”
Draco couldn’t think of what to say. He wasn’t sure if he actually had anything to say to that.
“Draco, if I wasn’t with Harry...”
“But you are.”
She nodded gently, with glistening eyes.
“But I am.”
“But if you weren’t?”
“Then I’d kiss you again.”
***
If you weren’t never happened, and Draco never expected it to. It was enough for him to have felt, to have been, close to someone. In this new yet weary world, welcome had been hard to come by for him, but Ginny had welcomed him. It was enough.
When he saw them together at the end of the year, and whenever he saw them since, he’d always remember a rushed message that Ginny had whispered into his ear as she said goodbye to him that Christmas. “Yours was the best kiss I’ve ever had.” It was enough.
dmexchangemods is an account created solely for purpose of posting the gifts created for this exchange. It has not authored or created these gifts.
Author:
Pairing: Draco/Ginny
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: -
Summary: It's five months since Voldemort's defeat, and Draco has returned to Hogwarts to retake his last year. Circumstance intervenes and pairs him in class with Ginny Weasley. 2244 words.
Notes: Thanks to Luce for checking this over, it kept straying back and forth from what I originally set out to write - but in the end I was happy with it. This piece was written for kitty_mrowr, the main issue was trying to combine angst with a relatively happy ending, but I hope it's okay. ♥
October, 1998
Draco Malfoy lowered his head as the sound of his footsteps on the cold stone paving echoed through the corridor. Left, right, left, right. The doors of the Great Hall were wide open, as usual during meal times, and he was about to step through them for the first time since the war. Every step he took was a blow to his memories: fire, glass, blood, bodies: the images bombarded his senses, forcing him to struggle to keep balance.
Everything was clean and clear now, it had taken an extra month, but it was all repaired. Repaired, but not the same. Draco wondered if Hogwarts would ever be the same again.
The joy and relief in the air since that fateful day in summer gave Draco little peace; for regret is a large burden to bear, and Draco suffered under it.
"You have got to be kidding me," were the words that travelled to Draco's ears from the entrance to the Great Hall. He recognised the voice and looked up, snarling, to see Hermione Granger standing staring at him with her mouth agape. His first thought was how inelegant she looked. Typical, he thought.
"Problem, Granger?" he asked after a relatively awkward battle within himself regarding what to reply. He did regret what he had done, what he had become, but he'd hardly admit that to the likes of her. Bloody Gryffindors with their presumptuous notions, like they have the god-given right to know everything.
"Who on earth let you back here?" she answered hoarsely. Draco thought he could see tears glistening in her eyes, but Granger's problems were of little concern to him.
"I don't believe that's any of your business," he said walking up to her, "so if you'll excuse me." He ended curtly and made his way through the doors to the Great Hall.
Audible shocks ran throughout the tables of Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and most vocal of all was Gryffindor. Draco tried his hardest to block everything out and strode with his head held high to the head of the Slytherin table. The fact that most of the Slytherins seemed to shy away from him disconcerted him even more, but he was determined not to let it show. One more year, one more year was what he repeated over and over to himself as he sat absent mindedly eating his bangers and mash and casually wondering if the standard of food had dropped slightly. Daring to take a cheeky glimpse around the room, he saw - amongst others - the intensely curious glare of Ginny Weasley boring into his eyes. He looked down immediately; if he had lost any more of his pride he would have admitted to himself that he looked down out of shame, but pride was the one thing he did still have. He spent the rest of the meal wishing he had glared back, and glared back harder.
***
Draco never did care for Transfiguration; compared to Potions, Charms, and DADA it was just dull. And Draco was not dull.
"At least we don't have McGonagall any more eh, thank god for small mercies," he muttered, expecting to find both Crabbe and Goyle by his side. Instead he found himself alone on the work bench, hoping that no one had heard him talk to himself. No, Draco really did not care for Transfiguration.
"Good morning, students. Please get out your books and allow me to introduce myself. I am Professor Murphy and I will be taking you in Transfiguration this year, since your previous teacher is now, as you well know, your Headmistress. But, as they say, as one door closes another opens!"
On this last note, the Professor winked at Draco who had more than a sour look sketched across his face.
Professor Lina Murphy was at heart, a romantic. In her lessons she longed to see smiles, and passion, and magic, and if she had to give a little help along the way to achieve her perfect class, then she would. "What that boy needs," she thought to herself, "is the company of a charming young lady. He looks so forlorn there on his own. A bit of fire, a bit of energy, that's what he needs."
And so it began. Professor Murphy had started Draco off on a journey that would take him who knows where, and it all started with thirteen words.
"First things first, class partners! Draco Malfoy, you are paired with Ginny Weasley."
***
Over the coming weeks, Professor Murphy saw a notable difference in both Draco and Ginny, and it made her heart smile. "Well done, Lina!" she wrote in her diary. Mission Accomplished. Or so she thought. It was a Wednesday afternoon lesson when Ginny Weasley came storming into the classroom quickly followed by Draco. Professor Murphy could not get one word of protest out before Ginny said "Please may I be assigned another partner?"
"That is quite out of the question Ginny. What is wrong with Mr Malfoy?"
"I can not work with him, Professor Murphy. Please may I be assigned another partner?"
"But you've been getting on well enough so far, have you not?"
Only silence greeted her. She'd written a journal entry! All could not disintegrate for her now. She sighed a heavy sigh.
"I can make no promises, and you will not be able to change partners for at least another week, but there may be a possibility after that if you find you absolutely can not work together. If that was the case I would be extremely disappointed. I would hope you both to exercise some tolerance. Now, please be seated."
***
Earlier that day, Draco and Ginny had met in the library for some Transfiguration research. At least, that's the name they gave it. Professor Murphy's observations had not deceived her. Draco and Ginny had learnt to get along over the opening weeks of term. Something that Draco had never imagined himself being able to do. It shocked him, it unnerved him, it excited him. There was something about Ginny - it may have always been there, but he had never paid attention to her before - she had an honesty about her. An unashamed, dignified, frank honesty that Draco found (more than a little to his disgust) refreshing and endearing. In all his years Draco never imagined he would find anyone endearing, let alone a girl, let alone a Weasley. But there it was. Ginny Weasley, with her fiery red hair, her cheeky smile, her glinting eyes, her sharp mind - endearing. It would be an underestimate to say that Draco was scared about this development. Scared, ashamed, and repulsed. In his mind, a Slytherin just did not feel this way about a Gryffindor. House Unity just did not extend that far. Not in the Malfoy household.
"Is everything alright, Draco?"
"What?"
"I asked if everything was alright? You seem a bit ... distant today."
"I'm exactly the same as I always am, are you ready to work or not?"
Ginny hadn't heard Draco speak this way since the first day they were partnered together. Draco could see the curiosity in her eyes, and it offended him.
"What the hell are you looking at me like that for, Weasley?"
"I'm ready to work, Malfoy, if that's alright with you."
A deathly silence, with deathly glares, made up the next hour and a half until noon.
***
Over lunch, words were exchanged.
Draco saw Ginny and Hermione eating sandwiches on the grounds. For November the weather was surprisingly good, like they were almost living in the summer they had all lost. After five minutes of just watching them sit and eat their lunch, Hermione left Ginny alone.
“Is it okay if I join you?” Draco asked, seating himself beside Ginny.
“Sure,” she answered bluntly.
After a while in silence, Ginny asked suggestively - “So, have you got something you’d like to say to me then?”
“Like?”
“Like, oh I don’t know, like an apology?”
“For what, exactly?”
“For acting like a prat, exactly.”
A deathly look from Draco prompted Ginny to reiterate quite fiercely just how much of a prat he had been, but she feared she was being counter-productive. Draco was getting angrier with every word Ginny uttered, and he kept reminding her of the arrogant Draco of old. Instead, she leant and gently touched his arm to catch and hold his gaze. She whispered gently to him, “Draco, nobody ever choked from swallowing their pride.”
Draco was caught in Ginny’s eyes, and felt like they were inviting him in. Her words were doing their best to sooth him, he could tell, and not many people had ever tried to sooth him before. He was drawing his face in nearer and nearer to hers, until they were almost touching. Her lips---
“Draco, I’m with Harry!” Ginny squealed softly, pulling back sharply.
“Oh, don’t make me laugh.”
“Excuse me?”
“You’re a joke, Weasley. ‘You’re with Potter?’”
“How dare you!”
“How dare I? Well where is he now? When was the last time you saw him? You were the one practically begging for me to kiss you. Swallow your pride and all that!”
“Yes, swallow your pride and apologize not kiss me, you arrogant stuck up prig! And he is busy, he is working - but I forgot, you don't know what that means. He's training to be an Auror, you know - to protect us against dark magic? Oh, but I forgot. You don't know what that means either.”
***
A week passed.
"You still can’t sort out your differences?"
A steely silence provided Professor Murphy with an answer in the negative.
***
November, 1998
Draco was used to working alone, he’d done it most of his life. With no siblings, and no friends that didn’t just follow him out of fear, he’d never really worked together with someone until Ginny. That’s what made her different for Draco. It wasn’t just that she stood up to him whenever she saw fit, many other Gryffindors had, but that for all that he’d done, she still treated him with respect. Perhaps it was the guilt that had clouded over him in the last year, the guilt that refused to go away, but Draco struggled to feel worthy of this treatment.
Her brother had died. Died, and yet she didn’t treat him with contempt. Draco knew he wasn’t to blame for Fred, for any direct death - but the image of Dumbledore on the tower still haunted him.
***
One day, Ginny asked him about it. If the question had come from anybody else, he would have told them in particularly colourful language exactly where to go. But as Draco already knew, Ginny was different.
Their time apart had softened the tension between them. Small nods were exchanged at first as they passed by each other in corridors. The nods gradually morphed into gentle smiles. Eventually, the smiles turned into words, and words into conversation.
They were friends again, at least for now.
“Draco,” Ginny began one lunch time as they both sat at the Slytherin table, “can I ask you why you did it?”
“Did what?” he replied rather absent-mindedly.
“Dumbledore, Death Eater... all of it?” Ginny awkwardly spilled out.
“Oh. That.”
***
“Ginny-”
“Yes?”
“This conversation is between us, understand?”
She squeezed his hand.
“Of course.”
***
December, 1998
“Draco, they’re holding a winter dance this year. Would you like to go with me?”
“A dance?” he replied, scoffing as he spoke.
“Yes. A dance! It will be fun, I promise.”
“Yes, well won’t Potter mind that his beloved will be going with a Malfoy?”
“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”
Draco smiled, and nodded his assent.
***
“I could get used to this,” Ginny said.
“What?”
“Dancing with you.”
“That’s all we ever do,” Draco replied.
***
The corridors were dark and quiet. People were either in bed or too drunk to move. It had been a good night.
“Thank you, I had a really great night,” Ginny told him as they walked back together in the darkness. She had taken her heels off and was walking barefoot along the stone. Draco’s strong footsteps were the only sound.
“Draco-”
“What is it?”
“Nothing, I just...”
In the shadows, Ginny stepped forward and kissed him. Softly, and slowly she put her lips to his and kissed him three times. Draco counted. When she pulled away, she apologized.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, “I just wanted to know what that would feel like.”
Draco couldn’t think of what to say. He wasn’t sure if he actually had anything to say to that.
“Draco, if I wasn’t with Harry...”
“But you are.”
She nodded gently, with glistening eyes.
“But I am.”
“But if you weren’t?”
“Then I’d kiss you again.”
***
If you weren’t never happened, and Draco never expected it to. It was enough for him to have felt, to have been, close to someone. In this new yet weary world, welcome had been hard to come by for him, but Ginny had welcomed him. It was enough.
When he saw them together at the end of the year, and whenever he saw them since, he’d always remember a rushed message that Ginny had whispered into his ear as she said goodbye to him that Christmas. “Yours was the best kiss I’ve ever had.” It was enough.
dmexchangemods is an account created solely for purpose of posting the gifts created for this exchange. It has not authored or created these gifts.