And people think being a DEALER in Casinos is hell.
Well, I can't sleep, so here, as promised to people, is the post I've been meaning to write. For those unaware, I left my Dome Job, worked 3 months in a crap job, and then got a job at a Casino, which I love. Don't get me wrong about the post to follow
Here are my stories from learning the ropes of being Face One at a Gambling Establishment.
ALI BABA AND THE FORTY PRICKS - CONTESTS AND TESTS OF WILL:
When they hired me, we were just at the end of an Arabian Nights themed Contest where we gave away keys. We would draw a seat or machine in secret and whoever was there, or closest, got a key. People would ask how to enter the draw for one, and get angry when I explained it was a random seat. They would claim we were only giving them to high rollers, or to the Chinese guests (Much of our clientele and our games staff are chinese...matter of coincidence.). THEN we had a draw for 25 Bonus Keys. That was just fine, it sated the masses. The draw was to be held at 2PM on Saturday. So naturally the whole world wants to enter at 1:30! We ran out of real ballots and were handing out scrap paper with the info we wanted hastily outlined on it!
But that wasn't as bad as the day after, when everyone with a key was to come try it in our treasure chest. If your key opened it, inside were the keys to a lovely new car! That was to begin at 2 PM. We had signs up, we gave reminder cards to every keyholder. And still, they asked and asked where and when. I had a 7-hit combo of customers HEAR me explain to the person in front of them, I KNOW they heard. And yet they still asked!
And the final straw. Imagine bringing over 200 Patrons back to try their keys...and the NINTH name we drew pops the lock. Some people were livid. I had keys lobbed at my desk and at me...and other expecting something because they never got to try. Hello? We fed you! We hired bellydancers to entertain you before the draw! You left the damn house and had fun. I think you already got something!
But this ain't the end. This month, on Weekends, we're having Cash draws. The problem? Ballots are not to be given out until 5 PM. So, people piss and moan all day, and then at 5, we are SWAMPED! Worse, you must always be PRESENT to win these Draws...which are at 10 PM and 1 AM. I get flak like I made the rule. Thank God my Shift Ends at 5:30.
LOYALTY PROGRAM LUNACY AND THE PINK CARDS OF DOOM:
We have a Loyalty card system. To sign up, we need some basic info. Date of Birth, Name, Address, Phone Number, and whether or not you wish to get our mailings, and how. A picture ID is what we need, and it must be issued by the GOVERNMENT. Sometimes I get some remedial who thinks something with a name is all I need, like his Social Insurance Number Card, or an ID from their College/University. That's nice, if you wanna give a lot of sensitive info aloud, but we're not allowed to do that. But that's not what this part is about.
Naturally, we get a lot of Seniors, and at this Casino, a really high portion of our clientele is Chinese. Mix these, and you get the Elderly Chinese-Canadian Who Never Learned English. Luckily, they have these little Pink Cards the Chinese Cultural Centre writes out with all their pertinent info to help them get by. This is a wonderful idea, except that thanks to laziness, they are called the Pink Cards Of Doom. See, whoever issues these and does the writing on them either has some Parkinson's-like condition, or just stopped caring, because these things are painfully illegible. It'd be easier to read a doctor's prescription note, or the information in written chinese with a text guide beside it. My penmanship is not the best ever put on paper, but no one's had to look at mine and wonder "Is that thing a 3 or a 5? Seriously, I can't tell...Maybe it's a malfomed 8...". And asking them to clarify doesn't work.
Even worse, one day I got a Pink Card of Doom...it was BLANK. And with her english skill, to elaborate fairly, equivalent to my chinese skill (Next to Nothing), there was no way to tell her I couldn't finish issuing a card. More than once we've had to have one of our Table Games Dealers (Also predominantly chinese) to come over and help us bridge the gap. I make a point to thank them profusely for providing a service outside their job description, and never complain, either. It once took her and I five minutes to make an elderly man understand we needed his Year of Birth. (Can't leave blank, or it defaults to THIS year and forbids us to issue because, according to the PC, they're a minor.)
HEY, MY CARD DOESN'T WORK!
We may be a Casino, but we're not exactly Vegas. The Loyalty cards don't work in the slot machines. Stop putting them in. I told you when you got the card it doesn't go in the machines (I learned to do this after 2 days), but you must have been off in Oz or something because you still Tried it.
We have readers at the door that the card is for. Once a day, swipe it, rack up points. If you try to swipe it more than once, it tells you you already have, it won't show your balance again for a full 24 hours. So no, the machine is not refusing to accept your card, you swung it through three times in one second. I swear, half our customers are OCD like that.
SCROOGE MCDUCK WOULD BE PROUD:
We have a nice breakfast available every morning for 2.99. Steal, right? Well, an ad in the Sun made a Typo...and everyone was harping me (I'm not even NEAR the Cafe!) about honouring the 1.99 mentioned! It's a Dollar! A dollar only gets you the paper nowadays! If you're THAT hard up for money, WHY ARE YOU WASTING IT AT A CASINO?
Mondays now we have Dollar Hot Dogs, and I had a guy bitch to me the Cafe wasn't honouring it. Load of crap, I say, I know them, they're great fun, smart girls, good conversation on downtime. Anyway, later I go to get my lunch from there...and this same man is PICKING APART these hot dogs! Complaining about the bun and how it's cooked and yadda yadda yadda...They're a DOLLAR! And they're not grocery store dogs in little buns! These are BIG Dogs in a Nice, almost French-Bread Bun! For a DOLLAR! You'd think he kept his wallet UP HIS ASS to be so upset about paying!
THAT'S ILLEGAL!:
We sell Cigarettes at my desk. A pack costs 12-14 dollars based on brand. Don't scream to me about it. Technically we can charge whatever price you're willing to shell out (And you ALWAYS shell out, not one person yet has decided AGAINST getting them). Besides...you can't smoke in Casinos in Alberta! Or right by the door of any building, you have to be at least 5-10 Metres (15-30 feet) away from them! And it's raining heavy out! Wait a damn while!
Also, I had a lady try to sign up for our loyalty card and did not want to give ANY personal information. So we worked with the bare minimums. She flipped out and told me it was Illegal to ask people their Birthdays. *Few Seconds of Stunned Silence* Wutdafuck? How are we supposed to keep Minors out without checking date of Birth? Needless to say, she did not get a card.
THINGS CASINO LAYOUT SHOULD MAKE OBVIOUS:
Imagine the Casino like a Clock. All our non-Gaming Attractions are along the wall in a bigass circle, save a bar in the middle. My desk is at noon. The restauraunt where we have our Buffet Specials is at 5.
So why would you think you gotta pay for the buffet at my desk? Seems a big waste to me! Also, we're not the slot cage. Don't give me your Slot redemption tickets. They're at about 8 on the dial from me. I do a great many services, but I can't do everything because you can't be bothered to look upward just a little bit and find the right sign.
We have Two ways into the Building. One Faces the Street, it has a nice covered place for cabs and tour buses to pull up, and inside is a nice fountain and my counter, Guest Services. The other, faces our parking lot, is a tiny foyer room with a set of double doors, leading to a small hallway with a tiny security desk on one side. Which one would you guess would be our 'Main Entrance'? No, no, the doors by my counter are. And that is why your cab is wondering where you are. (Nevermind many times people can't seem to FIND our Parking Lot, when in the middle of the lot is a big, flashy SIGN over a ramp reading (Casino Name) Underground Parking. *Headcounter*)
SORRY, I LEFT MY PSYCHIC POWERS AT HOME...:
Don't call my desk and ask me where (Person) is. There are no surveillance monitors under my counter and I can't see through walls and slot machines. In fact in my preparations for the day I don't even pass by the offices. I have no idea who's in unless they walk by my desk. I can't 'Find them for you'...I can't leave this desk. Also, not everyone has an extension. No I can't put you in touch with the girl who pushes around the coffee cart. And unless you give me a NAME I'm not putting you through to anyone but the generic person who handles office stuff. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, technically I'm a Receptionist TO the Receptionist, figure that shit out.
I do love my job...but the sheer amount of "Oh My God are you REALLY that dense?" can weigh on you.
Here are my stories from learning the ropes of being Face One at a Gambling Establishment.
ALI BABA AND THE FORTY PRICKS - CONTESTS AND TESTS OF WILL:
When they hired me, we were just at the end of an Arabian Nights themed Contest where we gave away keys. We would draw a seat or machine in secret and whoever was there, or closest, got a key. People would ask how to enter the draw for one, and get angry when I explained it was a random seat. They would claim we were only giving them to high rollers, or to the Chinese guests (Much of our clientele and our games staff are chinese...matter of coincidence.). THEN we had a draw for 25 Bonus Keys. That was just fine, it sated the masses. The draw was to be held at 2PM on Saturday. So naturally the whole world wants to enter at 1:30! We ran out of real ballots and were handing out scrap paper with the info we wanted hastily outlined on it!
But that wasn't as bad as the day after, when everyone with a key was to come try it in our treasure chest. If your key opened it, inside were the keys to a lovely new car! That was to begin at 2 PM. We had signs up, we gave reminder cards to every keyholder. And still, they asked and asked where and when. I had a 7-hit combo of customers HEAR me explain to the person in front of them, I KNOW they heard. And yet they still asked!
And the final straw. Imagine bringing over 200 Patrons back to try their keys...and the NINTH name we drew pops the lock. Some people were livid. I had keys lobbed at my desk and at me...and other expecting something because they never got to try. Hello? We fed you! We hired bellydancers to entertain you before the draw! You left the damn house and had fun. I think you already got something!
But this ain't the end. This month, on Weekends, we're having Cash draws. The problem? Ballots are not to be given out until 5 PM. So, people piss and moan all day, and then at 5, we are SWAMPED! Worse, you must always be PRESENT to win these Draws...which are at 10 PM and 1 AM. I get flak like I made the rule. Thank God my Shift Ends at 5:30.
LOYALTY PROGRAM LUNACY AND THE PINK CARDS OF DOOM:
We have a Loyalty card system. To sign up, we need some basic info. Date of Birth, Name, Address, Phone Number, and whether or not you wish to get our mailings, and how. A picture ID is what we need, and it must be issued by the GOVERNMENT. Sometimes I get some remedial who thinks something with a name is all I need, like his Social Insurance Number Card, or an ID from their College/University. That's nice, if you wanna give a lot of sensitive info aloud, but we're not allowed to do that. But that's not what this part is about.
Naturally, we get a lot of Seniors, and at this Casino, a really high portion of our clientele is Chinese. Mix these, and you get the Elderly Chinese-Canadian Who Never Learned English. Luckily, they have these little Pink Cards the Chinese Cultural Centre writes out with all their pertinent info to help them get by. This is a wonderful idea, except that thanks to laziness, they are called the Pink Cards Of Doom. See, whoever issues these and does the writing on them either has some Parkinson's-like condition, or just stopped caring, because these things are painfully illegible. It'd be easier to read a doctor's prescription note, or the information in written chinese with a text guide beside it. My penmanship is not the best ever put on paper, but no one's had to look at mine and wonder "Is that thing a 3 or a 5? Seriously, I can't tell...Maybe it's a malfomed 8...". And asking them to clarify doesn't work.
Even worse, one day I got a Pink Card of Doom...it was BLANK. And with her english skill, to elaborate fairly, equivalent to my chinese skill (Next to Nothing), there was no way to tell her I couldn't finish issuing a card. More than once we've had to have one of our Table Games Dealers (Also predominantly chinese) to come over and help us bridge the gap. I make a point to thank them profusely for providing a service outside their job description, and never complain, either. It once took her and I five minutes to make an elderly man understand we needed his Year of Birth. (Can't leave blank, or it defaults to THIS year and forbids us to issue because, according to the PC, they're a minor.)
HEY, MY CARD DOESN'T WORK!
We may be a Casino, but we're not exactly Vegas. The Loyalty cards don't work in the slot machines. Stop putting them in. I told you when you got the card it doesn't go in the machines (I learned to do this after 2 days), but you must have been off in Oz or something because you still Tried it.
We have readers at the door that the card is for. Once a day, swipe it, rack up points. If you try to swipe it more than once, it tells you you already have, it won't show your balance again for a full 24 hours. So no, the machine is not refusing to accept your card, you swung it through three times in one second. I swear, half our customers are OCD like that.
SCROOGE MCDUCK WOULD BE PROUD:
We have a nice breakfast available every morning for 2.99. Steal, right? Well, an ad in the Sun made a Typo...and everyone was harping me (I'm not even NEAR the Cafe!) about honouring the 1.99 mentioned! It's a Dollar! A dollar only gets you the paper nowadays! If you're THAT hard up for money, WHY ARE YOU WASTING IT AT A CASINO?
Mondays now we have Dollar Hot Dogs, and I had a guy bitch to me the Cafe wasn't honouring it. Load of crap, I say, I know them, they're great fun, smart girls, good conversation on downtime. Anyway, later I go to get my lunch from there...and this same man is PICKING APART these hot dogs! Complaining about the bun and how it's cooked and yadda yadda yadda...They're a DOLLAR! And they're not grocery store dogs in little buns! These are BIG Dogs in a Nice, almost French-Bread Bun! For a DOLLAR! You'd think he kept his wallet UP HIS ASS to be so upset about paying!
THAT'S ILLEGAL!:
We sell Cigarettes at my desk. A pack costs 12-14 dollars based on brand. Don't scream to me about it. Technically we can charge whatever price you're willing to shell out (And you ALWAYS shell out, not one person yet has decided AGAINST getting them). Besides...you can't smoke in Casinos in Alberta! Or right by the door of any building, you have to be at least 5-10 Metres (15-30 feet) away from them! And it's raining heavy out! Wait a damn while!
Also, I had a lady try to sign up for our loyalty card and did not want to give ANY personal information. So we worked with the bare minimums. She flipped out and told me it was Illegal to ask people their Birthdays. *Few Seconds of Stunned Silence* Wutdafuck? How are we supposed to keep Minors out without checking date of Birth? Needless to say, she did not get a card.
THINGS CASINO LAYOUT SHOULD MAKE OBVIOUS:
Imagine the Casino like a Clock. All our non-Gaming Attractions are along the wall in a bigass circle, save a bar in the middle. My desk is at noon. The restauraunt where we have our Buffet Specials is at 5.
So why would you think you gotta pay for the buffet at my desk? Seems a big waste to me! Also, we're not the slot cage. Don't give me your Slot redemption tickets. They're at about 8 on the dial from me. I do a great many services, but I can't do everything because you can't be bothered to look upward just a little bit and find the right sign.
We have Two ways into the Building. One Faces the Street, it has a nice covered place for cabs and tour buses to pull up, and inside is a nice fountain and my counter, Guest Services. The other, faces our parking lot, is a tiny foyer room with a set of double doors, leading to a small hallway with a tiny security desk on one side. Which one would you guess would be our 'Main Entrance'? No, no, the doors by my counter are. And that is why your cab is wondering where you are. (Nevermind many times people can't seem to FIND our Parking Lot, when in the middle of the lot is a big, flashy SIGN over a ramp reading (Casino Name) Underground Parking. *Headcounter*)
SORRY, I LEFT MY PSYCHIC POWERS AT HOME...:
Don't call my desk and ask me where (Person) is. There are no surveillance monitors under my counter and I can't see through walls and slot machines. In fact in my preparations for the day I don't even pass by the offices. I have no idea who's in unless they walk by my desk. I can't 'Find them for you'...I can't leave this desk. Also, not everyone has an extension. No I can't put you in touch with the girl who pushes around the coffee cart. And unless you give me a NAME I'm not putting you through to anyone but the generic person who handles office stuff. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, technically I'm a Receptionist TO the Receptionist, figure that shit out.
I do love my job...but the sheer amount of "Oh My God are you REALLY that dense?" can weigh on you.