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Happened again. Happens to me every time. Disappointment sets in. Why am I attracted to people who own up to all of the queued actions I seek out of them? They are obvious and frivolous. Bad decision making has kept these assholes close to my heart. Hurting when I open up to them and hurting twice as much when shut out. If confronted with ( Read more... )

I've realized soemthing. Most people who are judged by others as being a bitch or asshole are some of my closest friends. We are not really jerks, but we like to put up that wall and hide our hurt with crazy laughter about other people's problems or judgment upon us. It's easy for me to seek them out. We mean no harm, but we like to test the ( Read more... )

I felt it again. That inner skin crawl. That personal demon inside itching to get out. I'm shaking again. I start thinking of when this happened to me last. I start to feel empty again. No control of what comes out of my mouth. It's soul reaching. Things get real in that moment. Facing reality sometimes hurts, but overall refreshing. I ( Read more... )

I am envious of how they put themselves out there. Their feelings are spilled out easily. The world sitting back, silently judging them. People will reply words of encouragement. Others will mock them instantly and keep scrolling for new news. Relevant news. I have no interest in the weather, politics, sports, the daily news. I am not a man ( Read more... )

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It is happening. It is beginning. Shall I be candid? Life is easy. Life is a freaking breeze. When the weight is lifted off, life is at best. Take the blinders off. Realize that life was only as hard as you make it out to be. Hide your pride sometimes. No one likes an asshole. No changing of the mind. No negativity. No 'I do not give a ( Read more... )

You would think being away from someone would create less problems for the both of you, but who knew that it would take a turn for the worse? Who knew that being poor could still bring happiness? Who knew that seeing each other each day every day would create less tension? Who knew that having too much space to think was a bad thing ( Read more... )

A lot of the time, I miss that feeling. Miss the feeling of being important. Important enough to be the only person to make him/her happy. Vice Versa. I am not even close to that person I miss being. I am gravitating towards this feeling with a friend. A best friend. A girl best friend. I miss this feeling. I am reaching out to two people ( Read more... )

Did I tell him? Yes.
Do I feel better? Yes.
Did I change? Yes.
Am I grateful? Yes.
How is my perspective? Positive.
Do I think he understands? Not completely.
Why? Because words mean nothing without action.

How much action can I give with the limited amount of time? Not nearly enough.