(I Watch) The Sky Coming Down To Bury Me - Header and Prologues
(I Watch) The Sky Coming Down To Bury Me
Band(s): Panic At The Disco (Cobra Starship, Empires, The Cab, Fall Out Boy)
Pairing(s): Ryan/Spencer, Ryan/Jon (Brendon/Vicky T, Singer/Cash, Alex/Ryland, Gabe/Nate, possibly unrequtited Pete/Patrick)
Word Count: 26, 268
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 overall - Dubcon for one scene towards the end. It will be marked.
Summary: Ryan's not quite sure how he managed to find a home somewhere that doesn't include the only person he's ever wanted to spend the rest of his life with. 'After almost an hour cab ride - because he's just barely figured out the New York Metro, he's not even going to attempt the Underground - he pulls up outside a rather unappealing gray cement tower block. Ryan frowns, but catches himself quickly. New York has spoiled him, or at least, Spencer has.'
Author's Notes: Thanks to redsnake05 without whose help, this story would not be finished, beta'd or even vaguely presentable. Thanks also to all my betas, but especially shinshan who beat it into shape. I can't imagine giving it to you lot without her having been through it and help so much. Also, now she knows what 'afterwards' actually means. Thank you also to all the people who have been asking for my date and who have been egging me on throughout this whole process. Thank you to bourgeoisify for being my brain twin and making me laugh when I most needed it.
Header and Prologues
Chapter One - Chapter Two - Chapter Three - Chapter Four & Five - Chapter Six, Seven & Eight
Bonus Content
The Five Year Prologue: A Pale Parade of Passing Clouds
It's stupidly warm for seven in the evening, even for June, which means they're both sitting around watching TV topless, doing their best impressions of sloths. Ryan's poking Spencer's thigh with his foot, trying to get him to change the channel without actually having to tell him to do so, or move, or do anything remotely productive.
"Dude, stop fucking poking me." Spencer says, trying to swat at Ryan's foot without looking at where it is. Ryan laughs, poking his friend once more before pulling himself up to a sitting position. He looks down at the tangled limbs of his best friend and leans forward, resting his chin on his knees. Ryan sighs, trying to keep it under his breath, but Spencer still looks up with his worried face in place.
"Can I stay here tonight? Just it's… Friday and…" Ryan doesn't know what to say other than that, and he really hopes that Spencer understands so he can leave the rest of that sentence alone.
Spencer nods and flips the channel. Ryan stays the way he is, but turns his head on his knees, so he's looking at the TV instead. It means he can't see Spencer's sneak attack coming. One minute he's watching an old Tom and Jerry cartoon, the next he's being enveloped by a full body hug that would have worked better if Ryan wasn't curled up in a ball. The two of them laugh, falling apart and stretching out on the sofa, watching whatever hi-jinks the cat and mouse duo get up to.
"If you say we're anything like that, I'm going to hit you." Ryan laughs from his gut at Spencer saying this, half a second after he'd opened his mouth.
"I wasn't. I don't even know what I was going to say, now. Thanks, asshole." Spencer leans across their legs to punch Ryan in the arm. Ryan pouts melodramatically and bats his eyelashes at Spencer.
"Aw…" Spencer says, throwing his arms open and pushing his body forwards, so he's almost lying on Ryan. They giggle together and Spencer goes to kiss Ryan's cheek. Except, when his lips touch skin, they're pressed against Ryan's lips. Spencer jolts his head back, looking at Ryan's wide eyes. "Um…" And then he leans his head down to kiss him again.
Now, Ryan pushing his mouth up against Spencer's and his hands are trying to find support in the non-existent hair on his head. They keep kissing for a while, until Spencer pulls back again, breathing lightly and completely unable to explain what just happened. He retreats to the other end of the sofa and picks up the remote with unsteady hands, flicking to another channel and pretending to watch it, but looking at Ryan's shadow out of the corner of his eye.
Ryan uses the camp bed that Ginger sets up for him that night for the first time since he and Spencer have been friends.
**
This time, it's too late at night for Spencer to really comprehend what's going on as the window next to his bed opens and a body tumbles through it. Somewhere in the back of his brain, alarm bells are going off that tell him 'Screaming for help? Great idea about now.' But he ignores them, because the only person coming through his window in pyjamas at this time of night is going to be Ryan.
And, luckily, he's right. He's half way to pulling himself out of bed and opening his mouth to chastise Ryan for not at least calling first when he catches the expression on the other boy's face.
So, he sits Ryan down on the bed to take off his shoes, and then pushes him down just enough so he's lying up against the pillows. Spencer walks to the other side of the bed and slides under the covers, pulling them up so Ryan can't feel the cold from the half shut window. It's still early autumn, so it's not too chilly, but it is the middle of the night.
Spencer looks at Ryan for a long moment, trying to figure out what's happening inside his head from the almost blank expression on his face. There's nothing there that Spencer hasn't seen before, but everything seems amplified by the shadows.
Spencer reaches across to touch the top of Ryan's cheek as lightly as he can, before pushing the wet hair that's stuck there back. Neither of them knows whether it's blood or sweat. Neither of them cares in that moment. In the dark, it's hard to see into each other's eyes, but Spencer's fairly sure that doesn't actually matter. He can see the other features on his best friend's face.
Spencer honestly can't think of anything else to do but press his lips gently to the other boy's. It's strange, completely unlike the first time and so far from what he wishes it was. Both their lips are too dry and Spencer's hands are too cold to touch Ryan in the way he really wants to. He pulls back after a short moment, licks his lips and tries again. It's better, but still not right. Ryan moves away a little, and presses his forehead to Spencer's.
"Is this going to be like last time?" The younger boy sighs and strokes down his friend's face. He doesn't know what to say to that. He can't promise it won't be, but he really hopes it'll be different.
"I don't know. I just… don't." He can see Ryan's lips move a little and then he can't really see anything, because his face is pushed against Ryan's. He closes his eyes and lets Ryan take the lead. It feels more comfortable than Spencer leading.
They don't really know what they're doing, but when they stop, curling up together on the bed, neither of them is dissatisfied.
In the morning, Ginger looks at Ryan's face, and then leads him into the kitchen to clean it up and cover him in that strange smelling stuff that makes the swelling go down. Spencer's father claps his son on the back and says something alluding to a conversation between the two of them that involves some rather embarrassing confessions and a worse explanation than the Sex Ed teacher had given him. Spencer loves his parents.
The Ten Month Prologue: We Laid in the Dark
They are sitting in the Starbucks just down the road from their apartment when Ryan tells him about the course. Spencer smiles, hoping that Ryan won't follow through, but knowing he will. Ryan doesn't bring up anything unless it's important or he's made a decision about it. They both know that he's more than eligible for the course, with his degree from Columbia. But Spencer can't help thinking that, even though he followed Ryan to New York, this might not be a trip that the two of them will be making together. And that worries him.
Spencer's curled up in bed when Ryan opens the letter. He's half awake, but doesn't expect a sharp pile of bones to come flying at him. They go out to celebrate and Spencer absolutely doesn't cry. He scrubs at his hair, he drops his smile when Ryan's not looking, but he doesn't cry.
Spencer doesn't help Ryan pack. He doesn't even watch. Instead, he calls Victoria - one of their few friends in New York - and goes to Central Park to meet her. They sit and drink overpriced coffee. They don't talk about Ryan, they don't talk about the course and they definitely don't talk about the fact that Spencer will be living with her for a few weeks when Ryan leaves. They joke about looking like young newlyweds and wander around the Park, holding hands. Occasionally, Spencer clasps her hand a little too tightly, but Victoria doesn't say anything. He thinks she's probably his best friend, other than Ryan.
When they get to the airport two days later, bags rolling along behind them, Spencer buys the cheapest ticket that boards before Ryan's and sits with him at the gate. Both of them try to ignore how clichéd the situation is, and just try and draw out the time they have together. Spencer waits until he's seen the heavy security door close before he leaves the airport. He sits in his car in the car park, slumped over the wheel, looking up at the planes taking off. The clock tells him that he's been there for two hours and seventeen minutes when he starts up the car to drive away.
Somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean, Ryan looks out the window at the clear blue sky and the shimmering sea below him. It'll be another four hours until he gets off the plane and he wishes he was heading anywhere but away from New York.
He gets into Heathrow airport and almost immediately regrets getting off the plane. It's cold here - not as much as New York, but certainly more than Nevada - and Ryan wasn't prepared for that. It's also raining. As much as he wants the weather to match his emotions, he knows that it doesn't. The clouds aren't nearly dark enough, and there's a rainbow in the sky. Somehow, he feels a little let down.
After almost an hour cab ride - because he's just barely figured out the New York Metro, he's not even going to attempt the Underground - he pulls up outside a rather unappealing gray cement tower block. Ryan frowns, but catches himself quickly. New York has spoiled him, or at least, Spencer has.
Chapter 1
Band(s): Panic At The Disco (Cobra Starship, Empires, The Cab, Fall Out Boy)
Pairing(s): Ryan/Spencer, Ryan/Jon (Brendon/Vicky T, Singer/Cash, Alex/Ryland, Gabe/Nate, possibly unrequtited Pete/Patrick)
Word Count: 26, 268
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 overall - Dubcon for one scene towards the end. It will be marked.
Summary: Ryan's not quite sure how he managed to find a home somewhere that doesn't include the only person he's ever wanted to spend the rest of his life with. 'After almost an hour cab ride - because he's just barely figured out the New York Metro, he's not even going to attempt the Underground - he pulls up outside a rather unappealing gray cement tower block. Ryan frowns, but catches himself quickly. New York has spoiled him, or at least, Spencer has.'
Author's Notes: Thanks to redsnake05 without whose help, this story would not be finished, beta'd or even vaguely presentable. Thanks also to all my betas, but especially shinshan who beat it into shape. I can't imagine giving it to you lot without her having been through it and help so much. Also, now she knows what 'afterwards' actually means. Thank you also to all the people who have been asking for my date and who have been egging me on throughout this whole process. Thank you to bourgeoisify for being my brain twin and making me laugh when I most needed it.
Header and Prologues
Chapter One - Chapter Two - Chapter Three - Chapter Four & Five - Chapter Six, Seven & Eight
Bonus Content
The Five Year Prologue: A Pale Parade of Passing Clouds
It's stupidly warm for seven in the evening, even for June, which means they're both sitting around watching TV topless, doing their best impressions of sloths. Ryan's poking Spencer's thigh with his foot, trying to get him to change the channel without actually having to tell him to do so, or move, or do anything remotely productive.
"Dude, stop fucking poking me." Spencer says, trying to swat at Ryan's foot without looking at where it is. Ryan laughs, poking his friend once more before pulling himself up to a sitting position. He looks down at the tangled limbs of his best friend and leans forward, resting his chin on his knees. Ryan sighs, trying to keep it under his breath, but Spencer still looks up with his worried face in place.
"Can I stay here tonight? Just it's… Friday and…" Ryan doesn't know what to say other than that, and he really hopes that Spencer understands so he can leave the rest of that sentence alone.
Spencer nods and flips the channel. Ryan stays the way he is, but turns his head on his knees, so he's looking at the TV instead. It means he can't see Spencer's sneak attack coming. One minute he's watching an old Tom and Jerry cartoon, the next he's being enveloped by a full body hug that would have worked better if Ryan wasn't curled up in a ball. The two of them laugh, falling apart and stretching out on the sofa, watching whatever hi-jinks the cat and mouse duo get up to.
"If you say we're anything like that, I'm going to hit you." Ryan laughs from his gut at Spencer saying this, half a second after he'd opened his mouth.
"I wasn't. I don't even know what I was going to say, now. Thanks, asshole." Spencer leans across their legs to punch Ryan in the arm. Ryan pouts melodramatically and bats his eyelashes at Spencer.
"Aw…" Spencer says, throwing his arms open and pushing his body forwards, so he's almost lying on Ryan. They giggle together and Spencer goes to kiss Ryan's cheek. Except, when his lips touch skin, they're pressed against Ryan's lips. Spencer jolts his head back, looking at Ryan's wide eyes. "Um…" And then he leans his head down to kiss him again.
Now, Ryan pushing his mouth up against Spencer's and his hands are trying to find support in the non-existent hair on his head. They keep kissing for a while, until Spencer pulls back again, breathing lightly and completely unable to explain what just happened. He retreats to the other end of the sofa and picks up the remote with unsteady hands, flicking to another channel and pretending to watch it, but looking at Ryan's shadow out of the corner of his eye.
Ryan uses the camp bed that Ginger sets up for him that night for the first time since he and Spencer have been friends.
**
This time, it's too late at night for Spencer to really comprehend what's going on as the window next to his bed opens and a body tumbles through it. Somewhere in the back of his brain, alarm bells are going off that tell him 'Screaming for help? Great idea about now.' But he ignores them, because the only person coming through his window in pyjamas at this time of night is going to be Ryan.
And, luckily, he's right. He's half way to pulling himself out of bed and opening his mouth to chastise Ryan for not at least calling first when he catches the expression on the other boy's face.
So, he sits Ryan down on the bed to take off his shoes, and then pushes him down just enough so he's lying up against the pillows. Spencer walks to the other side of the bed and slides under the covers, pulling them up so Ryan can't feel the cold from the half shut window. It's still early autumn, so it's not too chilly, but it is the middle of the night.
Spencer looks at Ryan for a long moment, trying to figure out what's happening inside his head from the almost blank expression on his face. There's nothing there that Spencer hasn't seen before, but everything seems amplified by the shadows.
Spencer reaches across to touch the top of Ryan's cheek as lightly as he can, before pushing the wet hair that's stuck there back. Neither of them knows whether it's blood or sweat. Neither of them cares in that moment. In the dark, it's hard to see into each other's eyes, but Spencer's fairly sure that doesn't actually matter. He can see the other features on his best friend's face.
Spencer honestly can't think of anything else to do but press his lips gently to the other boy's. It's strange, completely unlike the first time and so far from what he wishes it was. Both their lips are too dry and Spencer's hands are too cold to touch Ryan in the way he really wants to. He pulls back after a short moment, licks his lips and tries again. It's better, but still not right. Ryan moves away a little, and presses his forehead to Spencer's.
"Is this going to be like last time?" The younger boy sighs and strokes down his friend's face. He doesn't know what to say to that. He can't promise it won't be, but he really hopes it'll be different.
"I don't know. I just… don't." He can see Ryan's lips move a little and then he can't really see anything, because his face is pushed against Ryan's. He closes his eyes and lets Ryan take the lead. It feels more comfortable than Spencer leading.
They don't really know what they're doing, but when they stop, curling up together on the bed, neither of them is dissatisfied.
In the morning, Ginger looks at Ryan's face, and then leads him into the kitchen to clean it up and cover him in that strange smelling stuff that makes the swelling go down. Spencer's father claps his son on the back and says something alluding to a conversation between the two of them that involves some rather embarrassing confessions and a worse explanation than the Sex Ed teacher had given him. Spencer loves his parents.
The Ten Month Prologue: We Laid in the Dark
They are sitting in the Starbucks just down the road from their apartment when Ryan tells him about the course. Spencer smiles, hoping that Ryan won't follow through, but knowing he will. Ryan doesn't bring up anything unless it's important or he's made a decision about it. They both know that he's more than eligible for the course, with his degree from Columbia. But Spencer can't help thinking that, even though he followed Ryan to New York, this might not be a trip that the two of them will be making together. And that worries him.
Spencer's curled up in bed when Ryan opens the letter. He's half awake, but doesn't expect a sharp pile of bones to come flying at him. They go out to celebrate and Spencer absolutely doesn't cry. He scrubs at his hair, he drops his smile when Ryan's not looking, but he doesn't cry.
Spencer doesn't help Ryan pack. He doesn't even watch. Instead, he calls Victoria - one of their few friends in New York - and goes to Central Park to meet her. They sit and drink overpriced coffee. They don't talk about Ryan, they don't talk about the course and they definitely don't talk about the fact that Spencer will be living with her for a few weeks when Ryan leaves. They joke about looking like young newlyweds and wander around the Park, holding hands. Occasionally, Spencer clasps her hand a little too tightly, but Victoria doesn't say anything. He thinks she's probably his best friend, other than Ryan.
When they get to the airport two days later, bags rolling along behind them, Spencer buys the cheapest ticket that boards before Ryan's and sits with him at the gate. Both of them try to ignore how clichéd the situation is, and just try and draw out the time they have together. Spencer waits until he's seen the heavy security door close before he leaves the airport. He sits in his car in the car park, slumped over the wheel, looking up at the planes taking off. The clock tells him that he's been there for two hours and seventeen minutes when he starts up the car to drive away.
Somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean, Ryan looks out the window at the clear blue sky and the shimmering sea below him. It'll be another four hours until he gets off the plane and he wishes he was heading anywhere but away from New York.
He gets into Heathrow airport and almost immediately regrets getting off the plane. It's cold here - not as much as New York, but certainly more than Nevada - and Ryan wasn't prepared for that. It's also raining. As much as he wants the weather to match his emotions, he knows that it doesn't. The clouds aren't nearly dark enough, and there's a rainbow in the sky. Somehow, he feels a little let down.
After almost an hour cab ride - because he's just barely figured out the New York Metro, he's not even going to attempt the Underground - he pulls up outside a rather unappealing gray cement tower block. Ryan frowns, but catches himself quickly. New York has spoiled him, or at least, Spencer has.
Chapter 1