Family Update

[dobrovolets]

As of today, my parents are officially divorced. So I explained to [daughter] why she would not be seeing her pappou again. In the course of the ensuing conversation, [spouse] reminded me that my mother is giving away her cat.
Even though I'm fiercely allergic to cats, I think I'll miss that cat more than I'll miss my father.

Comments

[sabotabby]

It sounds like it was a long time coming and a good thing for all concerned.

I hope the cat finds a good home!

[dobrovolets]

She's giving him to her brother (my uncle). My uncle and his wife have a little yappy dog, whom I hope the cat swats in the face on his first day there.
(It's better for the cat, though. My mother is moving cross-country, with her two dogs, to move in with my sister and her husband, with their three dogs.)

[pseydtonne]

You must have a thousand feelings about this. Do not be afraid to call your west coast friends to talk.

[dobrovolets]

Actually, depending on how long you and Sienna plan to stay in LA, we may see you soon. Once my sister's baby is born, they (my sister, her husband, my mother, and the baby) will be moving from Arizona to LA.

[pseydtonne]

Ooooh! If that is before September, we'll still be here. It will be a few months before we learn anything else.

[dobrovolets]

Baby is due in early May; I don't know how long after that it's going to take them to make the move. Though my father, to everyone's surprise, is following through on some of the financial promises that he made to my mother.

[queerbychoice]

My father's parents got divorced when my father was 10. My grandfather had been physically abusing my father and my father's two younger brothers. My grandmother took her three sons to the neighbors' houses and showed the neighbors her sons' bruises so that the neighbors would testify on her behalf. After the divorce, my grandfather visited the kids occasionally for the first year or so, then found a new wife and never made the slightest attempt to see or communicate with his children again. My father and both of his younger brothers, although they all missed their father desperately, resolved not to be the ones to re-initiate communication. If their father ever wanted to hear from them again, they were determined that he would have to be the one to make the first move

[dobrovolets]

I had a similarly absent grandfather, about whom I've told stories here.
That was part of what I told [daughter] last night: That part of a parent's job is to keep their children safe, and I decided she would be safer without pappou. What shows how pathetic he was, though, is that [daughter] was no more upset over the news than she would be if I told her one of her favorite restaurants had closed, and perhaps less so. (Whereas if anything happened to my mother or [spouse]'s parents to take them out of her life, she'd be distraught.)