Comments | doc_jock: Vengeance is Mine

doc_jock

Vengeance is Mine

Dec 12, 2007 16:20

I have decided to do something a little new to keep my chops up.

If in the course of your news related travels, between now and tomorrow at this same time, find an article of someone doing something horrific or inhuman, post a link here and I will respond with a revenge plot suitable for the perpetrator. Though Bush is an easy target, please look ( Read more... )

Comments 17

verymelm December 13 2007, 14:57:04 UTC

Former model-turned-scary-reality TV star goes off on how models are too fat and how a little anorexia would be good for them.

doc_jock December 13 2007, 15:27:21 UTC

First, according to this article, I must live under a rock because I do not know who this is.

Secondly, if that is her picture she is built like a little boy and putting little boys in dresses and making them walk in front of a bunch of people is just mean. They should stop making this little boy walk around in dresses...unless that is his choice.

1) Have model audited.

2) Spread a rumor that a new fashion line she has some stock in (owns, operates, models for) has been created by a pedaphile and is exported from a country where all of the children are adorable and work 18 hour days sewing flies into her new pant suits.

3) Get model a subscription to cake of the month. Start with chocolate.

4) When she has put on roughly 20 lbs. from stress and fudge, send over all of the models she had previously trashed and have them helpfully point out how fat she has gotten.

5) Tape a card for a therapist and a nutritionist to her eyes then kick her out of the back of a moving van. (not poetic but fun).

swords_and_pens December 13 2007, 16:49:10 UTC

I like your 5 step plan. My first inclination was force-feeding, but your approach is more elegant.

devikat December 13 2007, 20:27:19 UTC

See latest lj post...

http://devikat.livejournal.com/44490.html

doc_jock December 13 2007, 21:59:33 UTC

Okay so this is almost like cheating as I have given it a lot of thought in the past.

What you will need: 1 box of Driver's manuals, about 20 bricks (roughly) and a T-Shirt launcher.

1) Wrap manual around brick

2) Load driving instructions into t-shirt gun

3) Fire brick wrapped driver information through windshield.

4) Sigh with satisfaction.

Well that is all for the free vengeance. I hope you all enjoyed it. It got my brain moving a little bit today and yesterday so I am feeling much better. thanks!

Old lady bashin aint cool agback December 15 2007, 18:29:32 UTC

http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,22901927-2862,00.html