Funniest C/C's Of Late

[docmay]

In order that you may laugh (and in accident and emergency we laugh that we may not cry) I have a new list: funniest chief complaints! Matt, Cia, all other medical professionals, feel free to add on in the comments. Names redacted because HIPAA.

1. "It hurts when I fart."

2. "I had déja vu in the shower and got real nervous

Comments

[cia_playsnurse]

#9 is a very good description of how I felt a couple weeks ago.

[docmay]

We are all glad that's over with!

[doctorsmithisin]

Lava lamp? I hope it was off before/during/after insertion.

Haven't seen that one but I can well picture it

[doctorsmithisin]

1. Not mine but happened on my shift

[docmay]

1. Got to love the grizzled veterans of A&E. They don't take bullshit.

2. Classic Eiffel injury!

3. Paranoid schizophrenia + cocaine = ALWAYS BAD

4. I'm hardly in a position to dictate recreational drug use, but the worst that could happen with him toking on a spliff is a huge appetite for junk food and a desire to listen to his parents' old Moody Blues albums.

[cia_playsnurse]

pt (drug user) comes in when I was triaging. 'My colostomy is full of shit

[docmay]

1. Was the pt. by any chance named Captain Obvious?

2. I LOVE getting these. I think I've gotten about five or six over the years. I really have to suppress my laughter when the woman says "That baby ain't mine!"

3. *facepalm* And they reproduced. That's the scary part.

4. Charming.

5. There are prostitutes who sell their colostomies to be used sexually. *offers you brain bleach*