Kate is still halfway asleep with her back to the door when the two part ways and Esfir enters the room. She's lucid enough to know that Doc hasn't been gone nearly long enough to get anywhere far, so to say that the click of the door opening and closing surprises her would be an understatement.
She's suddenly very awake, and wondering where her guns are. This is the first time she has woken up without them near her in a very long time, and she's silently kicking herself for not looking for them earlier.
Defenseless, she quickly flips into an upright position to see who's there, ready to roll off the bed and seek cover if whoever it is poses a threat.
If you were just surviving, you would not have gone after Ramon. You would have kept your head down. If you were as with this outlaw...thing as your changed speech would suggest, you would not have been offended his calling you a bitch. To me...you are angry. You are so angry, you are still lashing out and you haven't yet landed on the ground.
She doesn't know what she's doing. She doesn't. But she'll be damned if she says so out loud right now. She's doing everything in her power to cling to that last strand of unraveling control.
She's terrified to think of what will happen if she loses her grip.
"I don't wanna just survive. I want there t'be a... point. There's gotta be a reason why."
"What you keep saying to me is what you are worried about is social justice. It's a good thing to get passionate about. And as an outlaw, you do have more freedom than as an upper-class teacher. But it also means that you cannot just run around and kill people and steal from them.
I do not want you to give up this passion, but...you need to discipline it. Otherwise, it...it would be like me getting into my A-wing, and getting angry at an Imperial fighter for daring to fight me, so I just tear off without my unit. And I promptly get exploded into little pieces. You have to stop being so sensitive.
You are not...you are not that respectable schoolteacher and daughter of a landowner. You are now in a world where you have to earn respect. And you have to earn it from men who aren't like Doc or Ben. Not everyone is going to be a gentleman just because you have breasts
( ... )
She's quiet for another long spell before she picks her head up out of her hands, running her fingers through her hair in agitation.
you cannot just run around and kill people and steal from them
When it's put in that light, it almost makes her sick to her stomach. Is that what she's doing? She wasn't looking for a fight with Ramon; he brought one to her. But Esfir's point is that she didn't have to take the bait.
you cannot just run around and kill people and steal from them
She stares off at some distant point across the room, nodding as Esfir speaks.
You are not the respectable schoolteacher.
You are not the daughter of a landowner.
What are you?
(Monster.)
Who are you?
(You have to grow up.)
you cannot just run around and kill people and steal from them
"Right."
Her eyes fall to the floor. She hugs her arms around herself, and nods again.
"There isn't a script," she offers, not unsympathetically. "I'm not telling you to stop. I'm telling you that, if you are going to go down this path, to get discipline. And to have an idea of what you are doing, instead of just...being tossed around by other people. But...talk to me."
Not because she's trying to be stubborn, but just because she doesn't know what to say. There's too much and not enough all at the same time, and no matter how hard she tries, nothing comes to her lips.
She's suddenly very awake, and wondering where her guns are. This is the first time she has woken up without them near her in a very long time, and she's silently kicking herself for not looking for them earlier.
Defenseless, she quickly flips into an upright position to see who's there, ready to roll off the bed and seek cover if whoever it is poses a threat.
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"Then why don't you tell me what I'm doin'?"
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"I'm listenin'."
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What you are doing, I mean.
If you were just surviving, you would not have gone after Ramon. You would have kept your head down. If you were as with this outlaw...thing as your changed speech would suggest, you would not have been offended his calling you a bitch. To me...you are angry. You are so angry, you are still lashing out and you haven't yet landed on the ground.
And you need to."
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"You're damn right I'm angry."
She doesn't know what she's doing. She doesn't. But she'll be damned if she says so out loud right now. She's doing everything in her power to cling to that last strand of unraveling control.
She's terrified to think of what will happen if she loses her grip.
"I don't wanna just survive. I want there t'be a... point. There's gotta be a reason why."
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I do not want you to give up this passion, but...you need to discipline it. Otherwise, it...it would be like me getting into my A-wing, and getting angry at an Imperial fighter for daring to fight me, so I just tear off without my unit. And I promptly get exploded into little pieces. You have to stop being so sensitive.
You are not...you are not that respectable schoolteacher and daughter of a landowner. You are now in a world where you have to earn respect. And you have to earn it from men who aren't like Doc or Ben. Not everyone is going to be a gentleman just because you have breasts ( ... )
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you cannot just run around and kill people and steal from them
When it's put in that light, it almost makes her sick to her stomach. Is that what she's doing? She wasn't looking for a fight with Ramon; he brought one to her. But Esfir's point is that she didn't have to take the bait.
you cannot just run around and kill people and steal from them
She stares off at some distant point across the room, nodding as Esfir speaks.
You are not the respectable schoolteacher.
You are not the daughter of a landowner.
What are you?
(Monster.)
Who are you?
(You have to grow up.)
you cannot just run around and kill people and steal from them
"Right."
Her eyes fall to the floor. She hugs her arms around herself, and nods again.
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"I ain't sure what t'say, Fira."
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Not because she's trying to be stubborn, but just because she doesn't know what to say. There's too much and not enough all at the same time, and no matter how hard she tries, nothing comes to her lips.
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