Kisses when you need them, and sometimes when you don't [M.A.I.N]
Authors note: The first time around I made of some of the time line, since it made my story better. So sue me. Or cut me some slack for artistic license. I tried to fix it this time, but yeah. I added a line, but I like it as it is, in many ways. So sorry.
Jun, despite not having much (any) experience in the matter, had some very decided ideas about kisses. He read enough manga, and watched enough television, and had even seen his patents kiss (though never in a manner inappropriate for public) and knew that kisses were something that was shared out of love, or friendship, but never obligation. If you ever did kiss someone because you had too, then that relationship, that person was not for you, because kisses should be an outpouring of friendship, and affection, and even one day love.
Jun gave his first kiss to Aiba, though Aiba did not know this fact until much later. It had been a few hours before their very first television performance as M.A.I.N. . Aiba had disappeared as soon as they had a break, and Jun thought he knew why. Aiba, as usual, was having difficulty with the choreography, and as it was their first live performance as M.A.I.N. the older man was terrified of messing up. At least Jun was, and he did not mess up the choreography. Not that he was upset with Aiba for it, it was just Aiba, and something that they had know about him from the very beginning. He always had to work harder on the choreography than the rest of them.
But if Jun was nervous about messing up on a national broadcast, then he was certain that Aiba must be even more worried about messing up. Which was why he was off to find him. Jun navigated the hallways with ease. He had told Nino where he was going (as much as to find Aiba was a destination) and knew that Nino would cover for them if necessary. Nino had nodded, giving Jun a small smile before turning back to his game, and Jun wondered if Nino was glad that he was going, so that the slightly older boy didn’t have to. It didn’t matter through not really. Jun was searching for Aiba, ducking around staff and senpai in the hallways, trying to be as small and inconspicuous as possible.
They all liked to disappear into the hallways that houses the senpai dressing rooms, takin refuge in the closets and the bathrooms that were there, as those hallways got the least among of traffic. Senpai’s had their shit together, and were organized, and the chaos seemed to be generally kept away from those areas, and their juniors were more than happy to benefit from that small bit of privacy when the stress of being a Johnny’s got to be too much.
Testing the door to a storage closet it opened and Jun slipped inside, closing the door softly behind him. He could hear sniffling that someone was trying to muffle, and his voice was soft as he called out. “Aiba-kun?” He was greeted with silence for a long moment but Jun paused, not ready to leave yet, and he heard a grunt to the affirmative. It was then that Jun moved further into the closet, where he found Aiba, hiding in the back corner of the closet. Jun could see that the other had cried some, and he smiled at Aiba as he say down next to him, his smile too big for his face, he knew, but it seemed to calm Aiba, as the other looked to Jun with a sigh.
“I don’t want to mess things up for you guys,” Aiba admitted softly, and Jun shook his head, taking Aiba’s hand that lay on the floor in his and squeezing it comfortingly. Gender, he had learned, was not something that AIba really cared about. If he cared for someone he was affectionate with them, man or woman. It was unfortunate, since it got him in a little trouble as school with all the girls who were convinced that Aiba was flirting with them, but it was something that Jun liked about the older boy. Aiba was open and free with his affections, something that Jun could not really bring himself to do, even if he wanted too.
He was an elite in the agency, and being around all the Johnny’s, surrounded by such good looking people, Jun had confirmed what he always suspected, which was that his interest lay in the male gender. Which was something that he did not want to advertise. He did not want to cause issues for M.A.I.N, for his family, for Johnny’s, for himself for anyone. So he would never talk about it, but from the way that he didn’t discuss breasts and porn with the rest of his group he was sure that they knew.
To debut was all that he wanted, a dream that he shared with Aiba, and nothing would get in the way of that, even his own recently confirmed sexual preferences. It was why he was hiding here in the closet with the other boy.
“You will be perfect. I know it.” Jun’s voice was soft, and he smiled at Aiba, earnestly, no stared at Jun for a long time before nodding, smiling in return. Jun shifted, kneeling beside Aiba and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. He could feel the other looking at him curiously, as Jun stood, dropping his hand, and scuffing his feet awkwardly on the floor.
“Mom always does that when I am worried, and it comforts me. I was hoping that I could help as well.” Jun muttered, and was relieved to head Aiba’s laugh, the laugh that said that ht was happy. “Come on, we need to go get your make up and stuff done before we go on.” Jun offered Aiba a hand, still not looking at him, and AIba took it, allowing himself to be pulled to his feet, and he did not drop Jun’s hand as they went through the halls together.
Jun could not help the wide smile that was on his face as they walked.
And he was right, Aiba was perfect in their performance, they all were. And it made Jun very happy. It was one step closer to being able to debut, he hoped. Each performance, each dance was something to show how capable he was, they all were of debuting.
What Jun did not expect was Aiba to pull him back through the halls as soon as the shooting as over, shoving him into the closet and pulling the door closed firmly behind him. It took a moment for Jun’s eyes to adjust to the low light in the closet, and he blinked, backing into the wall as he noticed Aiba’s gaze on him, intense and calculating, with something more, something that Jun did not recognize.
Aiba moved forward, pressing is lips to Jun, hesitantly, and Jun pressed back against the wall in surprise. It was awkward, with Aiba’s nose hitting his, but the older boy way placing small kisses against his lips, again and again, and Jun found that he could not push the other away. And did not really want too. When Aiba finished, he stepped back, smiling happy at Jun, and Jun knew that he was blushing, a d from the husky laugh that Aiba let out, he was sure that this was the case.
“As a thank you, for earlier.” Aiba’s voice was low, hesitant, and he grabbed Jun’s hand in his, squeezing it, waiting for a response. It took a moment for Jun to register what had happened, what Aiba was saying, and when it all did Jun nodded, squeezing Aiba’s hand return. His first kiss, he though later, could not have gone to a better person, nor for a better reason.
The kiss with Toma was a bitter sweet one, though neither of them realized it at the time. It was the night before Nino, Aiba and Jun were to catch a flight to Hawaii. Toma, somehow, was not scheduled to go on the trip, and Jun was worried about this, and what it meant. And what it would do to M.A.I.N. While neither Aiba not Nino commented on it, from the looks that passed between them when they had sat in Nino’s room watching him pack he knew this was the case as well. It was getting late, and it was almost time for Jun to head home and pack his own bags, but he was loitering with Toma. They had just finished dinner at Aiba’s parents place and were heading back to Tokyo for the night. Nino had left for home a few hours ago, as soon as dinner was done, but Toma and Jun had stayed at Aiba’s for awhile, chatting and bantering, and trying their hardest to ignore the fact that three of them were going to Hawaii and one was not. Aiba had offered to walk to two of them to the station, but Jun had just smiled shaking his head and Aiba had let it drop. After all Jun-kun was good at comforting people, Aiba knew that first hand.
They still had a few hours before the last train from Chiba ran, and to neither Jun nor Toma was in a hurry to get to the station.
“We wont leave you behind, Toma.” Jun spoke, not looking at Toma, instead he watched their shadows on the ground, the way they walked in parallel, their shadows reaching out on the ground ahead of them, but never touching. “I don’t know why we are going, but Toma will always be part of us.” Jun could see Toma slowing as his shadow slipped slightly behind Jun’s, and Jun paused, turning to look at the younger boy, who was shaking his head. Jun was almost sure that Toma was crying, but he was not going to bring that small fact up.
“I heard rumors, and-“ Toma stopped and Jun stepped towards him, shaking his head.
Jun knew the rumors. Knew that they had been recording and that Toma had not. Knew that he was lying to himself, and to Toma, but it broke his heart.
“No matter what happens you are always with us. With me at least, but I know with AIba-kun and Nino-kun as well. We are M.A.I.N, always will be.” Jun stepped slightly closer, hesitating before taking Toma’s hand, and smiling at him, trying to put as much feeling as he could into that smile. “Toma will always be here.” Jun used Toma’s hand, held in his own to tap Jun’s chest, over his heart, and could see Toma smiling slightly back, though it was a wobbly wavering smile. “I don’t want to leave Toma behind.” Jun was honest, and he stepped back smiling at Toma who looked more at ease after Jun’s words. Jun was more sure what had gotten into him, and why it was that they were comforting to Toma, but he meant what he said. Toma was a friend, he would always be in Jun’s heart, and the four of them would always be main, even if some of them managed to debut without the others. It was not something that Jun wanted, he wanted them to debut together, to stay together, though everything. Jun wanted more than anything to debut, to begin with, now he wanted more than anything to debut with those three other people.
They did not speak again until their reached the station, pausing outside to buy their tickets, and Toma stood near Jun, closer than perhaps necessary, his hand brushing against Jun’s as Jun bought his ticket.
“Thank you, Jun.” Toma breathed against Jun’s check, his body suddenly pressed against Jun’s and Jun turned to face Toma, catching the other as he stumbled into Jun.
“I wont ever forget.” Was Jun’s reply, and he brushed his lips against Toma’s in a kiss before Jun ran though the gate before Toma could react. He could hear Toma following him to catch the train, and as Jun just made his own train, he could see Toma smiling and waving on the platform, his cheeks flushed with a blush, and Jun was glad. He could not say WHY he had kissed Toma, just that it seemed to be the thing to do at the time.
Nino had been the day after Toma, and something that in retrospect should have gone differently. They had gotten to Hawaii, and had been shocked to hear that they were debuting the next day, as Arashi, whatever that was. Something about causing a storm around the wolrd. But all Jun could think of was how he bad told Toma that they would not leave him behind like this. And how this was obviously not what Nino was wanted. He had never wanted to debut. He wanted Hollywood, and Hollywood and debuted Johnny’s did not mix. Sakurai and Ohno did not seem overly happy about it either, well Ohno seemed unphased one way of the other, but he had heard Sakura grumbling about not having time, and Keio, and family obligations, and things that made Jun not want to listen (despite the fact that Sakurai was very interesting, and someone Jun very much wanted to get to know better). Jun was finally getting exactly what he wanted, and only he and Aiba were somewhat happy about the fact that they were debuting.
Nino had been hiding in the hotel room since they got there, instead of playing in the pool that night with the rest of them. Jun was sharing a room with Nino, and so he slipped inside, setting the key beside the door on the table as he slowly padded his way across the room. Nino was curled up on the bed, his Gameboy beside him untouched.
“This is shitty.” Nino spoke as Jun sat down on the bed, curling up behind Nino, hugging the other to him, and Nino turned into the hug, so he embraced Jun in return. Jun nodded, his chin brushing Nino’s hair, and the other held Jun closer.
“I don’t want this, Jun.”
“I know, and I am sorry.” Was Jun’s soft reply, accompanied by a kiss on Nino’s head. He was sorry. Sorry that they were here with Toma. Sorry that this meant that Nino was trapped for a while at least in a thing that he did not want. Sorry that he wanted this when those that he cared about did not.
“Don’t be.” Nino laughed, bitterly. “All Jun-kun and Aiba-chan want are to debut. I would be an asshole if I were the one that kept you from that.” Nino shifted so his forehead was resting against Jun’s and he looked the other in the eye.
“If you don’t want to, Nino, you do not have to. I do not want you to be unhappy.” Jun was serious, even though as he said the works his heart broke. He hoped that it was not reflected in his eyes, in his smile at Nino, but from the way the other frowned he knew that it was.
“You are too nice for your own good, Matsumoto Jun.” Nino’s voice was soft and Jun did not say anything for a moment, his breath caught in his throat at something flashed in Nino’s eyes as he looked at Jun.
“I wanted us all to debut together. To be together, always. I-“ Jun choked on the word as he looked at Nino. “I promised Toma that we would not leave him behind.”
Nino nodded, sighing and pulling Jun closer, repeating his words from earlier. “This is shitty.”
Jun trembled in Nino’s embrace and tried not to break. He wanted this, he really did, but not if it made one of his best friends, one of his few friends, this miserable. “If you are going to be miserable, Nino, I want you to quite. I don’t want you to be unhappy, just for me.” Jun’s voice cracked, broke and Nino held him tighter.
“I don’t like anyone enough to sacrifice my future for them.” Jun could hear the truth in Nino’s words, even as he heard the teasing, and his heart broke. Nino had opened up a lot to them, but he still held himself apart from them, distant, as if he was afraid of getting too close, despite the fact that at this moment, tangled up in the bed in the room they were sharing that night, they were far too close.
“Promise me something, Kazunari.” Jun’s voice was soft, serious, and finally steady, his emotions in check. Nino nodded slowly, hesitant, but Junk new that Nino knew that Jun would not ask for a promise lightly. This was the first one that he had ever requested.
“Promise me that you will be happy, that you will take what path you need to so that you will be happy. Really happy.” Nino nodded, pulling back to look at Jun, and Jun could see a small smile on Nino’s lips.
“Of course, idiot. Why would I do anything else?” His words were light, and Jun laughed, leaning up to kiss Nino, just once, on the corner of his lips. He could see the surprise on Nino’s face, before the other shifted, curling back up into a ball and spooning against him.
“I am going to play games until I fall asleep. Stay if you want.” His voice was soft, and Jun nodded, curling his arms around Nino and pulling him close. The warmth, and the comfort was nice in this strange place, and who knew what tomorrow would bring.
When asked about it many years later, Nino would just smile, and brush a kiss across Jun’s lips. “In the beginning” he said, “I stayed for you and Masaki. But now, I stay for me. And for the fact that I do not want to go someplace that does not have Jun. Or Masaki. Or Oh-chan. Or Sho. You all are what makes me happy.”
Jun, despite not having much (any) experience in the matter, had some very decided ideas about kisses. He read enough manga, and watched enough television, and had even seen his patents kiss (though never in a manner inappropriate for public) and knew that kisses were something that was shared out of love, or friendship, but never obligation. If you ever did kiss someone because you had too, then that relationship, that person was not for you, because kisses should be an outpouring of friendship, and affection, and even one day love.
Jun gave his first kiss to Aiba, though Aiba did not know this fact until much later. It had been a few hours before their very first television performance as M.A.I.N. . Aiba had disappeared as soon as they had a break, and Jun thought he knew why. Aiba, as usual, was having difficulty with the choreography, and as it was their first live performance as M.A.I.N. the older man was terrified of messing up. At least Jun was, and he did not mess up the choreography. Not that he was upset with Aiba for it, it was just Aiba, and something that they had know about him from the very beginning. He always had to work harder on the choreography than the rest of them.
But if Jun was nervous about messing up on a national broadcast, then he was certain that Aiba must be even more worried about messing up. Which was why he was off to find him. Jun navigated the hallways with ease. He had told Nino where he was going (as much as to find Aiba was a destination) and knew that Nino would cover for them if necessary. Nino had nodded, giving Jun a small smile before turning back to his game, and Jun wondered if Nino was glad that he was going, so that the slightly older boy didn’t have to. It didn’t matter through not really. Jun was searching for Aiba, ducking around staff and senpai in the hallways, trying to be as small and inconspicuous as possible.
They all liked to disappear into the hallways that houses the senpai dressing rooms, takin refuge in the closets and the bathrooms that were there, as those hallways got the least among of traffic. Senpai’s had their shit together, and were organized, and the chaos seemed to be generally kept away from those areas, and their juniors were more than happy to benefit from that small bit of privacy when the stress of being a Johnny’s got to be too much.
Testing the door to a storage closet it opened and Jun slipped inside, closing the door softly behind him. He could hear sniffling that someone was trying to muffle, and his voice was soft as he called out. “Aiba-kun?” He was greeted with silence for a long moment but Jun paused, not ready to leave yet, and he heard a grunt to the affirmative. It was then that Jun moved further into the closet, where he found Aiba, hiding in the back corner of the closet. Jun could see that the other had cried some, and he smiled at Aiba as he say down next to him, his smile too big for his face, he knew, but it seemed to calm Aiba, as the other looked to Jun with a sigh.
“I don’t want to mess things up for you guys,” Aiba admitted softly, and Jun shook his head, taking Aiba’s hand that lay on the floor in his and squeezing it comfortingly. Gender, he had learned, was not something that AIba really cared about. If he cared for someone he was affectionate with them, man or woman. It was unfortunate, since it got him in a little trouble as school with all the girls who were convinced that Aiba was flirting with them, but it was something that Jun liked about the older boy. Aiba was open and free with his affections, something that Jun could not really bring himself to do, even if he wanted too.
He was an elite in the agency, and being around all the Johnny’s, surrounded by such good looking people, Jun had confirmed what he always suspected, which was that his interest lay in the male gender. Which was something that he did not want to advertise. He did not want to cause issues for M.A.I.N, for his family, for Johnny’s, for himself for anyone. So he would never talk about it, but from the way that he didn’t discuss breasts and porn with the rest of his group he was sure that they knew.
To debut was all that he wanted, a dream that he shared with Aiba, and nothing would get in the way of that, even his own recently confirmed sexual preferences. It was why he was hiding here in the closet with the other boy.
“You will be perfect. I know it.” Jun’s voice was soft, and he smiled at Aiba, earnestly, no stared at Jun for a long time before nodding, smiling in return. Jun shifted, kneeling beside Aiba and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. He could feel the other looking at him curiously, as Jun stood, dropping his hand, and scuffing his feet awkwardly on the floor.
“Mom always does that when I am worried, and it comforts me. I was hoping that I could help as well.” Jun muttered, and was relieved to head Aiba’s laugh, the laugh that said that ht was happy. “Come on, we need to go get your make up and stuff done before we go on.” Jun offered Aiba a hand, still not looking at him, and AIba took it, allowing himself to be pulled to his feet, and he did not drop Jun’s hand as they went through the halls together.
Jun could not help the wide smile that was on his face as they walked.
And he was right, Aiba was perfect in their performance, they all were. And it made Jun very happy. It was one step closer to being able to debut, he hoped. Each performance, each dance was something to show how capable he was, they all were of debuting.
What Jun did not expect was Aiba to pull him back through the halls as soon as the shooting as over, shoving him into the closet and pulling the door closed firmly behind him. It took a moment for Jun’s eyes to adjust to the low light in the closet, and he blinked, backing into the wall as he noticed Aiba’s gaze on him, intense and calculating, with something more, something that Jun did not recognize.
Aiba moved forward, pressing is lips to Jun, hesitantly, and Jun pressed back against the wall in surprise. It was awkward, with Aiba’s nose hitting his, but the older boy way placing small kisses against his lips, again and again, and Jun found that he could not push the other away. And did not really want too. When Aiba finished, he stepped back, smiling happy at Jun, and Jun knew that he was blushing, a d from the husky laugh that Aiba let out, he was sure that this was the case.
“As a thank you, for earlier.” Aiba’s voice was low, hesitant, and he grabbed Jun’s hand in his, squeezing it, waiting for a response. It took a moment for Jun to register what had happened, what Aiba was saying, and when it all did Jun nodded, squeezing Aiba’s hand return. His first kiss, he though later, could not have gone to a better person, nor for a better reason.
The kiss with Toma was a bitter sweet one, though neither of them realized it at the time. It was the night before Nino, Aiba and Jun were to catch a flight to Hawaii. Toma, somehow, was not scheduled to go on the trip, and Jun was worried about this, and what it meant. And what it would do to M.A.I.N. While neither Aiba not Nino commented on it, from the looks that passed between them when they had sat in Nino’s room watching him pack he knew this was the case as well. It was getting late, and it was almost time for Jun to head home and pack his own bags, but he was loitering with Toma. They had just finished dinner at Aiba’s parents place and were heading back to Tokyo for the night. Nino had left for home a few hours ago, as soon as dinner was done, but Toma and Jun had stayed at Aiba’s for awhile, chatting and bantering, and trying their hardest to ignore the fact that three of them were going to Hawaii and one was not. Aiba had offered to walk to two of them to the station, but Jun had just smiled shaking his head and Aiba had let it drop. After all Jun-kun was good at comforting people, Aiba knew that first hand.
They still had a few hours before the last train from Chiba ran, and to neither Jun nor Toma was in a hurry to get to the station.
“We wont leave you behind, Toma.” Jun spoke, not looking at Toma, instead he watched their shadows on the ground, the way they walked in parallel, their shadows reaching out on the ground ahead of them, but never touching. “I don’t know why we are going, but Toma will always be part of us.” Jun could see Toma slowing as his shadow slipped slightly behind Jun’s, and Jun paused, turning to look at the younger boy, who was shaking his head. Jun was almost sure that Toma was crying, but he was not going to bring that small fact up.
“I heard rumors, and-“ Toma stopped and Jun stepped towards him, shaking his head.
Jun knew the rumors. Knew that they had been recording and that Toma had not. Knew that he was lying to himself, and to Toma, but it broke his heart.
“No matter what happens you are always with us. With me at least, but I know with AIba-kun and Nino-kun as well. We are M.A.I.N, always will be.” Jun stepped slightly closer, hesitating before taking Toma’s hand, and smiling at him, trying to put as much feeling as he could into that smile. “Toma will always be here.” Jun used Toma’s hand, held in his own to tap Jun’s chest, over his heart, and could see Toma smiling slightly back, though it was a wobbly wavering smile. “I don’t want to leave Toma behind.” Jun was honest, and he stepped back smiling at Toma who looked more at ease after Jun’s words. Jun was more sure what had gotten into him, and why it was that they were comforting to Toma, but he meant what he said. Toma was a friend, he would always be in Jun’s heart, and the four of them would always be main, even if some of them managed to debut without the others. It was not something that Jun wanted, he wanted them to debut together, to stay together, though everything. Jun wanted more than anything to debut, to begin with, now he wanted more than anything to debut with those three other people.
They did not speak again until their reached the station, pausing outside to buy their tickets, and Toma stood near Jun, closer than perhaps necessary, his hand brushing against Jun’s as Jun bought his ticket.
“Thank you, Jun.” Toma breathed against Jun’s check, his body suddenly pressed against Jun’s and Jun turned to face Toma, catching the other as he stumbled into Jun.
“I wont ever forget.” Was Jun’s reply, and he brushed his lips against Toma’s in a kiss before Jun ran though the gate before Toma could react. He could hear Toma following him to catch the train, and as Jun just made his own train, he could see Toma smiling and waving on the platform, his cheeks flushed with a blush, and Jun was glad. He could not say WHY he had kissed Toma, just that it seemed to be the thing to do at the time.
Nino had been the day after Toma, and something that in retrospect should have gone differently. They had gotten to Hawaii, and had been shocked to hear that they were debuting the next day, as Arashi, whatever that was. Something about causing a storm around the wolrd. But all Jun could think of was how he bad told Toma that they would not leave him behind like this. And how this was obviously not what Nino was wanted. He had never wanted to debut. He wanted Hollywood, and Hollywood and debuted Johnny’s did not mix. Sakurai and Ohno did not seem overly happy about it either, well Ohno seemed unphased one way of the other, but he had heard Sakura grumbling about not having time, and Keio, and family obligations, and things that made Jun not want to listen (despite the fact that Sakurai was very interesting, and someone Jun very much wanted to get to know better). Jun was finally getting exactly what he wanted, and only he and Aiba were somewhat happy about the fact that they were debuting.
Nino had been hiding in the hotel room since they got there, instead of playing in the pool that night with the rest of them. Jun was sharing a room with Nino, and so he slipped inside, setting the key beside the door on the table as he slowly padded his way across the room. Nino was curled up on the bed, his Gameboy beside him untouched.
“This is shitty.” Nino spoke as Jun sat down on the bed, curling up behind Nino, hugging the other to him, and Nino turned into the hug, so he embraced Jun in return. Jun nodded, his chin brushing Nino’s hair, and the other held Jun closer.
“I don’t want this, Jun.”
“I know, and I am sorry.” Was Jun’s soft reply, accompanied by a kiss on Nino’s head. He was sorry. Sorry that they were here with Toma. Sorry that this meant that Nino was trapped for a while at least in a thing that he did not want. Sorry that he wanted this when those that he cared about did not.
“Don’t be.” Nino laughed, bitterly. “All Jun-kun and Aiba-chan want are to debut. I would be an asshole if I were the one that kept you from that.” Nino shifted so his forehead was resting against Jun’s and he looked the other in the eye.
“If you don’t want to, Nino, you do not have to. I do not want you to be unhappy.” Jun was serious, even though as he said the works his heart broke. He hoped that it was not reflected in his eyes, in his smile at Nino, but from the way the other frowned he knew that it was.
“You are too nice for your own good, Matsumoto Jun.” Nino’s voice was soft and Jun did not say anything for a moment, his breath caught in his throat at something flashed in Nino’s eyes as he looked at Jun.
“I wanted us all to debut together. To be together, always. I-“ Jun choked on the word as he looked at Nino. “I promised Toma that we would not leave him behind.”
Nino nodded, sighing and pulling Jun closer, repeating his words from earlier. “This is shitty.”
Jun trembled in Nino’s embrace and tried not to break. He wanted this, he really did, but not if it made one of his best friends, one of his few friends, this miserable. “If you are going to be miserable, Nino, I want you to quite. I don’t want you to be unhappy, just for me.” Jun’s voice cracked, broke and Nino held him tighter.
“I don’t like anyone enough to sacrifice my future for them.” Jun could hear the truth in Nino’s words, even as he heard the teasing, and his heart broke. Nino had opened up a lot to them, but he still held himself apart from them, distant, as if he was afraid of getting too close, despite the fact that at this moment, tangled up in the bed in the room they were sharing that night, they were far too close.
“Promise me something, Kazunari.” Jun’s voice was soft, serious, and finally steady, his emotions in check. Nino nodded slowly, hesitant, but Junk new that Nino knew that Jun would not ask for a promise lightly. This was the first one that he had ever requested.
“Promise me that you will be happy, that you will take what path you need to so that you will be happy. Really happy.” Nino nodded, pulling back to look at Jun, and Jun could see a small smile on Nino’s lips.
“Of course, idiot. Why would I do anything else?” His words were light, and Jun laughed, leaning up to kiss Nino, just once, on the corner of his lips. He could see the surprise on Nino’s face, before the other shifted, curling back up into a ball and spooning against him.
“I am going to play games until I fall asleep. Stay if you want.” His voice was soft, and Jun nodded, curling his arms around Nino and pulling him close. The warmth, and the comfort was nice in this strange place, and who knew what tomorrow would bring.
When asked about it many years later, Nino would just smile, and brush a kiss across Jun’s lips. “In the beginning” he said, “I stayed for you and Masaki. But now, I stay for me. And for the fact that I do not want to go someplace that does not have Jun. Or Masaki. Or Oh-chan. Or Sho. You all are what makes me happy.”