Separation Anxiety (Aimatsumiya)
Written for boblemon as a prompt for her contest thing in her journal.
Yay for barely making deadlines!
Pairing: Aimatsumiya
Prompt/Summary: Aiba feels that he is the third wheel in their relationship and tried to leave. Nino and Jun may have differing opinion on this matter.
Super epic things to thoroughlynerdy without whom this would probably not have ended up finished.
Related to Aiba was a force of chaos and everyone knew it and What's the worst that could happen?
It was really no secret that being with Aiba was a test of both Jun and Nino’s patience, some days. The ‘roller skating like Kisumai’ incident, the ‘I tried to burn Jun’s reproductive bits off with liquid nitrogen’ incident, and the ‘everything random that I had in my fridge surprise stir fry’ incident that had left all three of them with horrible food poisoning were thing things that Aiba had done recently that drove them all a little bit crazy. Aiba had a lot of energy, and Nino and Jun did not always have the time to devote to Aiba, to help him guide that energy into productivity as opposed to the I love Arashi and I will show them just how much I love them by coming up with all these random things for us to do together nature of his plans. Aiba sometimes felt the need to reaffirm how much he loved his band mates through bonding and team building exercises, but since it was Arashi, nothing happened in the typical fashion. They all loved him, and cared for him, and were all firmly friends, and so when Aiba got carried away with his ideas, and his whims, and the need to show just how much, and how real his love for Arashi was, they let him. Besides, Nino and Jun were not sure where they would direct his energy, since they didn’t exactly have a lot of time to take up physically intensive hobbies, or the kind of creative outlet that would make Aiba happiest, since nothing they could come up with screamed “I love Arashi” as much as the things they can do together planned by Aiba. Both Nino and Jun agreed that as much as they enjoyed A no Arashi (sometimes) that getting the agency to give (or even consider giving) Aiba an entire A no Arashi show would be far too taxing on their already insane schedules, though it would make him happy. So Jun and Nino planned, and plotted and schemed, since they were good at these things, and settled on something that they knew would make Aiba happy. Other than them, which he already had.
The problem was, neither Nino nor Jun were particularly thrilled with their idea, though they both agreed it would make Aiba happy. Very very happy. Super happy. Happy to the point of happy tears and professions of his love for Arashi, and them, especially them. It was hard to keep a secret from Aiba, but they would do what they could. Their deadline: August 15th. Their mission: Operation Get Masaki A Present to Remind Him That the Kaze Trio Will Always Be and He Will Never Be Alone!!! (Jun had rolled his eyes at the name, but Nino’s glare and instance that they name it something Masaki-ish had won him over) would make him smile, Jun was sure. He was also sure that because they loved him, they would do this for him regardless of the mission needing a name, though Nino glaring and sighing was enough to get Jun to agree. The things that he did and went through for those two shocked him. But it was Nino. And it was Masaki. And it was worth it to see them smile
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aiba was sure that Nino and Jun loved him. After all the things that had gone wrong in some of his crazy schemes, if Jun did not love him, there was no way that he would have let him stay with them. Sometimes though, Aiba had to remind himself when he saw the two of them interacting that he was part of the bond that they shared and that they loved him, just as they loved each other. It was harder to ignore though when Nino and Jun were keeping something from him. Something that had them whispering, and jumping apart when he entered a room. Something that they would not tell him about. And he could not help but worry. Were his fears true?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Looking back, the beginnings of things had been subtle. The first inkling that any of them had had, well maybe him and Sho, since Riida just seemed to know these sorts of things, that anything was going on with Jun and Nino was when Nino was in LA filming for Letters. Jun was more irritable than normal, snappy and short with them, full of attitude and smacks with rings, until Ohno sat him down, curling into his side, and clinging, whispering things that Ohno would speak nothing of to anyone else, but it seemed to settle Jun down, at least for a little while, though Jun was not really, truly mellow, until Nino was back. Aiba could see brief moments between them, looks, a grope here or there by Nino on TV, the heckling and snarking flirtation, and he knew that there was something going on It was also the time that Aiba realized that he wanted that. While he loved everyone in Arashi, he realized, watching Nino and Jun’s interactions and developing relationship that he wanted to be there, with them. He wanted Jun to be antsy to see him again when he was on a location shoot. He wanted to make Nino’s eyes light up when he entered a room. He wanted to be able to distract Jun from a book, or Nino from a game with his laugh. He would never tell them, he would never come between them, because he loved them, with all that he was, and he wanted them to be happy more than he wanted anything in life, except maybe them being happy with him.
And then they began to pursue him. He did not realize that was what it was at first, but in retrospect, Nino would cling to him and Jun would invite him over for dinner. Nino would invite him over for games and Jun would suggest drinks. The three of them would gather to watch a movie, or a drama that one of the Arashi members was in. It was subtle, but Nino snuggles always happened, and Aiba had perhaps thought that it was a bit odd that Nino was snuggling him with Jun right there, but then one night Jun had kissed him, and then Nino, and that was the beginning of things with them.
It had been going on for years now, and Aiba was thankful for each moment that he got with Arashi, with his best friends, and especially for each moment that he got with Nino and Jun. Sometimes though, on days like today, he wondered if he was in the way. Or if they just kept him around since it was easier than breaking up with him and messing with the stability of Arashi. Some days he wondered why they even bothered to include him at all, but it was easy to ignore those doubts when Nino pulled him close and curled around him while they slept, or when Jun had him pushed against the wall, stealing kisses when no one was looking, no one but Nino, watching with a grin as Aiba allowed himself to be pulled into the mess.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jun took a deep breath, looking at the storefront, the parents and the screaming children, and he wondered what the hell he was doing here again. Nino, it seems, was the one that was willing to voice that thought.
“Just why are we here again, Jun-pon?” His voice was low, and Jun was fairly certain that no one would hear him, but at the same time the two of them were rather poorly disguised. Even though he had on glasses, and a hat, and a mask, Jun was hard to hide as it was, with his distinguished eyebrows and Nino was rocking the I am an otaku who escaped from Akiba look, but it did nothing to hide his actual identity whatsoever. Jun thought it was kind of adorable, and so he would never say that to Nino, who would make his life hell if he knew that Jun even thought such a thing, but it was cute. Jun shook his head to clear his thoughts, focusing on the question at hand.
“We are here for Masaki.” Was Jun’s quiet reply, and he could see Nino deflate, and hear him sigh for a moment, before straightening.
“Right. Him. This better be worth it.” Nino grumbled, grabbing Jun’s sleeve and pulling him forward towards the store, dropping his grip as soon as he was certain that Jun was following him.
Jun paused outside of the store and prayed to every deity that he could think of that no one noticed them here, that there were no paparazzi stories, nothing, since they would have a hell of a time explaining this away. He could see it now:
Arashi’s Matsumoto and Ninomiya On A date at Build a Bear: Who Are They Shopping For?
Caught in the Act: Sickeningly Sweet Gifts Exchanged Between the Snarky Pair.
Arashi Shopping for a Special Lady Friend? Ninomiya and Matsumoto Buy Coordinating Gifts.
There would be no way to explain this. Jun had tried, really tried, to get Fuku-chan on Himitsu so he and Nino would have a legitimate shooting related excuse, since if they were at the store with a guest, then it would be fine. But this was their day off, in the middle of a busy shopping street, and it was just him and Ninomiya.
Standing there, staring at the store, and the people, Jun could not help but think back to the beginning of things. He and Nino, ever since their days in M.A.I.N. had danced around each other, pushing and pulling and trying to find a way that they fit, and clicked. Early on they had both admitted that they liked Aiba, perhaps even more than liked, but he had never shown anything that might be considered interest in them, talking more about girls, and boobs, and MILF porn than anything else. Nino liked guys and girls, but he liked Jun more, so it worked.
It was nothing official though, not until Nino left for LA and Jun realized just how much the other meant to him, and how much he relied on the other for his moods. And he knew that he was moody, idol life was hard, having a humiliating on TV experience in relation to one of your band mates was hard, being ‘elite’ was a pain in the ass, and Jun was not growing up fast enough, not at that point at least, into the man that he was sure that Johnny had hoped that he would be. He was awkward and gangly, and needed his teeth fixed, and he was nothing that he had hoped to be. But it had been enough for Nino.
But then he was gone, and Jun had a hard time keeping the doubts at bay. Ohno had come to the rescue, acting as a public surrogate in place of Nino for Jun, and it had helped, but he was not, and never would be Nino.
It was at that point though, as Jun and Nino did their thing, a new tension and understanding between them, that they would catch Aiba watching, this lonely, wistful expression on his face. And so they planned. And plotted. And Aiba was their prey. He did not stand a chance, not with Jun and Nino both working on him. In the beginning he had asked, “is this ok?” “are you alright?” “are you sure that I can be here too?” Jun had thought that it was not until Nino had looked at Aiba, leaning in close, and tapping his head, and then his heart that Aiba had listened and finally heard that they meant it when Jun said that he had been there with them all along. But apparently he had been wrong.
Which is why they were here now, risking a lot, in some ways, to bring the smile that they loved back. Masaki is worth it. Jun made sure to remind himself as he slipped inside the store, Nino having gone ahead. It was his chant throughout the entire thing, though he was relieved to see his sister was there, waiting for them and chatting with Nino. If they were going to do this, they were going to do this right, and there would be pictures to commemorate the event.
Jun and Nino would be making three animals that day: A tiger to represent Jun, a dog to represent Nino, and a zoo keeper bear to represent Aiba. Because it was Jun, and Nino, and it would be perfect, they had (with cooperation of Shimura-san) gotten official Tensai! Shimura Doubutsuen overalls, as well as a shirt and bandanna for their zookeeper bear. Jun had gone to the studio after shooting while Nino kept Aiba busy, explaining that they were making animal themed presents for Aiba, and that they wanted to make a TSD bear. Shimura-san had not questioned more than that, and after asking about the specs of the bear, said that he would have it done. And he had. Jun’s manager had handed him a package discreetly after work one day, and Jun had been thrilled to see that the contents were a perfect match to Aiba’s TSD outfit, including the jumper, an addition that Shimura-san had thought up on his own. Which would go perfect with the uncharacteristically sappy gift that Jun and Nino had decided to give Aiba.
Both could tell that he still, after all these years, doubted his place with them, and they wanted to do something once and for all that would show him that he was wanted, and welcome, and theirs. That they would never let him go because they did not want him, he would have to decide that he wanted and wished for something else (though Jun was not sure that either he or Nino would really let him go that easily).
Other than putting their hearts literally and figuratively into the animals (both Nino and Jun might have thrown up a little in their mouths at the thought of just how sentimental the action was), they would be personalizing the animals. Jun had gotten a sparkling purple rhinestone collar for his stuffed tiger, and Nino had gotten a Mario themed collar for his dog.
Jun and Nino worked steadily, watching as the animals were stuffed (it was disappointing that they would not be able to stuff them themselves, and that there was a machine for that) and Nino had almost hit Jun when he suggested that he leave one of the dog’s paws unstuffed “to better mimic his wrist,” but the glare, and the laugh had been worth it as Nino commented with a fond smile that something like that would go over well, wouldn’t it? And Jun hoped that his sister caught a picture of them, as she was flitting between the both of them, snapping pictures of them watching the stuffing of the bears, frowning in concentration as they placed their ‘hearts’ into the zoo keeper bear, as they hugged the animals to see if it was firm enough, or soft enough. Nino had been unable to contain his laughter as Jun had to get his redone because it was lopsidedly stuffed, more on one side than the other, and Nino had just called him a perfectionist, and Jun had at that point hit Nino with his rings, and then froze, hoping that the store had not realized who they were, since there were being in no way subtle.
Jun was not sure how they did it, but it seemed that they managed to make it through the entire thing without someone screaming out that it was Arashi, or Jun, or Nino, or some combination thereof. They would have to watch the tabloids for a few days, but they were giving Aiba the gifts the next night, August 15th, another sentimental action on their part. Jun tended towards practicality more than romance, and Nino could be sweet, but it was more spontaneous, but both of them would go out of their way to make Masaki smile, and these days, his smile had been less bright.
Jun did end up making the tabloids, but it was that he was out on a shopping date with his sister, and how sweet was that, and there was a picture of them hugging but nothing more than that. Both Jun and Nino examined the image with a sharp gaze, making sure that neither the store they were at, or the fact that they had been there together was visible. So far, it looked like they would be able to pull this off without Aiba discovering, which was exactly what they wanted. Except, of course, nothing was quite that easy ever.
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Aiba watched Nino, and Jun, and now more than ever he could see that they were hiding something from him. He was not stupid despite the image that be portrayed on TV occasionally, and the fact that they were both looking very intently at Jun’s latest paparazzi sighting, and the fact that they kept sharing looks. Significant looks. The non-verbal communication that went on between two people who were agreement on something, or at least having a conversation that they were not willing to verbalize, was nothing that was unusual under most circumstances given that it happened all the time in Arashi (and fueled a lot of their fan service). But the fact that before this there had never been something that they kept from him, not since they had drawn him in and he had become part of them set him on edge. And it made him feel more like he was the outside in the relationship, watching something that he had no right to be involved in. Which was why this was so upsetting. If they did not want him there, if they needed some space from him, why did they not just tell him? It was not as if he was forever a part of things, though he would like to be, he was just someone that they had added to what they already were. If they did not want him there any longer, they would just tell him that. It was only fair to him, really.
It was obvious to Aiba at least, these days that they did not need him, at the very least they did not feel the need to include him. But why would they not be honest with him. It was Jun, and it was Nino, and they were always honest. Aiba sighed, looking from one to the other, and he was glad that Sho and Ohno were already gone for the day.
“I was thinking of going to Chiba tonight.” Aiba stated, and he could see Jun and Nino look at him, startled. The statement did come out of no where, and more than that, they had plans for the evening. Plans that Aiba was ducking out of.
“I thought you were coming over tonight?” Nino asked, shifting at the table so he could look at Aiba, studying him, and Aiba wondered if he could see through what Aiba was really thinking.
“I have not been home to see my parents in a while, and I just-“ Aiba paused, taking a steadying breath and Jun’s eyes narrowed in displeasure. It made it harder, knowing that Jun was unhappy, displeased with him, but he was making them unhappy, wasn’t he? “It just seems like you two wanted some alone time, so I was going to stay out of your way.”
“What gave you that idea?” Jun snapped and Aiba just looked at him, crossing his arms and leaning back into the couch defensively.
“It is kind of obvious, MatsuJun, the way you and Nino have been sneaking around for the last few days. If you wanted alone time you just should have told me.”
“Don’t be an idiot, Masaki.” Was Nino’s reply, and Aiba shook his head.
“It is fine.” Aiba insisted, smiling and Jun sighed.
“How long, Masaki?” Jun stood and moved over to the couch that Aiba was sitting on, his gaze studying Aiba, taking in his reactions.
“How long what, MatsuJun?” Aiba tried to feign ignorance but Jun would have none of that, and Aiba knew that he wouldn’t.
“How long?” Jun insisted and Aiba sighed.
“A while now, it is just clear over the past week or so that-“ Aiba stopped at there was a knock on the door, and their manager stuck his head it.
“Matsumoto-san, your sister is waiting for you downstairs.” Was all he said, and then he was gone again and Jun sighed. “You are coming over tonight. Nino, make sure that he comes over tonight. I don’t care what you have to do.”
“Got it.” Nino smirked at Jun, saluting him as the other walked by, grabbing his bag, and Jun stopped by the door.
“If we are making you unhappy you should say something, Masaki. We will fix it, whatever it is. But I will see you later.” Jun pulled the door firmly closed behind him, and Aiba could see the harsh glint in Nino’s eye, the seriousness in his face, and posture. Despite wanting to give them space, Nino and Jun would be having none of that tonight, Aiba was sure. But that just meant that he would have to be strong, and get it over with.
AIba was not at all surprised that Nino rounded on him as soon as the door closed.
“Masaki, what is going on?” Nino’s voice was not accusatory, just curious, and Aiba shook his head.
“I am going to Chiba, it will give you and Jun some space, to do whatever it is the two of you have been whispering about these past few days.”
“Jun-pon and I don’t need space from you, Masaki.” Nino replied, and Aiba could feel the tightening in his chest. Nino sounded sincere, he really did. It made Aiba almost want to reconsider his course of action.
“You seem to want it.” Aiba muttered softly, sinking down into the couch and he could hear Nino thinking, trying to figure out what was wrong.
“Masaki, what is wrong?”
Aiba paused, thinking the best way to approach this. In the end, there was only one thing that he could think of that would work. “Will you stop pushing if I agree to come over tonight?”
“Why?” Was Nino’s instant question, and Aiba should not have been surprised.
“It is something that you and Jun need to hear, that is all.” Aiba evaded the question and Nino’s eyes narrowed.
“Why can’t you tell me now. It isn’t like you are breaking up with us or anything.” He did not ask it like a question, but Aiba shifted under the weight of his gaze on the couch anyway, and he could near Nino’s sharp intake of breath.
“There is no way in hell you are not coming over tonight.” His voice was low, tight, and Aiba was surprised to hear anger, and obvious hurt there. Not what he was expecting at all.
In the end, Aiba was not given a choice in the matter, and on the car ride over, Nino kept pushing, needling answers out of Aiba that he did not want to give, did not give, expect that his silence, and hesitation, and expression were enough to give it away. The closer they got to Jun’s the more Nino was angered, and panicked, if Aiba was reading him correctly, and the worse Aiba was feeling.
This was not how he expected this to go, but him leaving them was for the best, he was sure of it. He would stick to the plan, through to the end.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jun stared at the bed with a smile. The stuffed animals were arranged, the bear in the center, in TSD garb, with the tiger and the dog on either side, wearing their collars. The collars were probably unnecessary, since Aiba should remember his own interview, but they did so many interviews it was hard to be sure. In front of the animals, with a purple and yellow bow was a scrapbook that his sister had put together for them, of Nino and Jun at Build a Bear, as well as other pictures of the three of them Jun had not been aware that she had taken. And some that she could not have taken, but he was sure that Nino had supplied her with.
As he heard keys in his door he padded back out to the living room. It was show time.
“Jun, Masaki is trying to break up with us.” Nino practically shoved Aiba into Jun’s apartment, closing the door sharply behind him, perhaps sharper than necessary, but given the statement that preceded the action Jun was surprised the door had not been slammed shut.
“What?” Jun asked, stopping in his tracks. He felt like he was going to be ill with the shock of the announcement and the utter unhappiness at he felt at such a statement. There was no way this was happening. He looked from Nino to Aiba, watching as Nino dragged Aiba further into the apartment, in front of Jun. Nino stood with his arms crossed, beside Aiba, giving Jun a look that all but said ‘this is unacceptable and you will do something about it’.
“I am breaking up with you.” Aiba’s voice wavered, and Jun could tell that the words were hard for him to say.
“This has to do with earlier? And the doubts?” Jun asked and Nino nodded, speaking before Aiba could.
“Apparently he feels that he is just a third wheel, and that he is here because it is more convenient for us than making him not here, and that we would be just fine without him.” Nino’s tone was waspish, not directed at Jun, Jun was sure, but more at the situation, and he could see Aiba shrinking away at the words though he did not make a move to deny them.
Jun’s eyes narrowed, wheels turning in his head.
“You should have said something Masaki. Do you want to leave us?” Jun was relieved when he saw Aiba shake his head, and he could feel the knot in his stomach loosening some. “But you think that we would be happier without you?” Jun asked and Aiba nodded, hesitating before he answered. Jun could see Nino shifting, unhappy, and from the heat in his gaze he was not happy with how Jun was handling this either.
“If you want to leave, fine.” Jun stated, and both Nino and Aiba cried out a startled “what?”
“You can leave us, but before you do, please go in the bedroom, and see what we have been doing for the past few days, and if you still want to leave after that, then there is nothing that I can do to stop you.” Aiba stared at Jun, his gaze studying him, and Jun was not sure what Aiba saw there, but the resignation and defeat in his posture was enough to make him want to smack the other man upside the head and call him an idiot for even daring to think that they did not want him for an instant. But that would not help.
“You would let me leave?” His voice was small and Jun sighed.
“You leaving is the last thing that we want, Masaki. But if that is what you want, and what will make you happy, I can’t stop you. I will not trap you in something that you don’t want.” Jun could see Nino’s posture change as Jun spoke, as he too relaxed some, turning Aiba so he faced the bedroom door and pushed him towards it.
“Go on, Masaki, please? J is right, if you want to leave after this, you can, but I don’t think you will want to.”
Jun watched Aiba move towards the bedroom with hesitant steps, even as Nino moved to stand beside him, hugging him close, and Jun could tell that Nino was still nervous. Jun was as well, but he hoped that Aiba would see this as a sign of their love, since that is what it was.
“It will be ok, J.” Nino murmured softly, and Jun hugged the other man tightly as they watched Aiba open the door. It would have to be OK.
~~~~~~~~~
Aiba could hear Jun and Nino whispering behind him, but for the moment it did not bother him. This was not going how to expected. In his head, he had expected Jun and Nino to be relieved that he was letting them go back to just the two of them. Or that they would fight him on it. That was the feeling he had gotten from Nino in the car. But for Jun to just agree it had unsettled him. Aiba was also not sure how anything in the bedroom would make him change his mind. He was sure that he would not be able to control his temper if it was the new collection of sex toys they had just bought displayed, but Jun was not ever so callous as to rub something he could not have in his face. Jun was not someone to let someone go that he wanted, or something, and neither was Nino, so the fact that the two seemed to have differing views on this was painful.
Which was why Aiba was hesitating before entering the room. He did not want to see what they had been doing without him. He just wanted to walk away, and accept what he was always been afraid of, that he did not belong with them.
But it was better to get it over with, then delay this, and so, summoning all the courage that he had Aiba pushed open the door, stepping inside, and the sight before him was enough to bring tears to his eyes.
He just might owe them an apology.
Aiba was sitting on the bed before he realized what he was doing, touching the stuffed animals gently, and he was certain that there were tears running down his face, since it was hard to see. Pickng up the tiger, he hugged it close, noting that it had a MatsuJun-esq collar and look to it, while the dog was very much Nino.
They had remembered what animals he had made them.
What touched him more, and convinced him that he was perhaps a complete idiot, and that Nino and Jun’s loving mocking comments were true, was the fact that in addition to those, was a bear in full Tensai! garb, official if the logos that Aiba could see were correct. They had taken the time to talk to Shumira-san about it, which meant that there were serious about this, about him. To go out of their way to do this, he really was a fool.
Which only made him cry harder, and it was with shaking hands that he picked up the scrapbook, flipping through it, though he did not get very far.
A heartfelt gift, on his anniversary no less. They remembered, and were oddly sentimental. He really really really owed them an apology now. As soon as he could stop crying long enough to form a sentence.
“You know, we put our hearts into those, literally.” Nino’s voice surprised Aiba, and his head snapped up, looking to the door where both Nino and Jun watched him, and he could see that they were nervous.
“The picture is in there somewhere, I know that my sister took it.” Jun’s voice was a bit pained. “I just-we---“ Jun paused, and Aiba could see, even through his tears, that Jun was nervous. “You aren’t going to walk out.” While Jun tired to make it a statement, Aiba could hear the hesitation in his voice, and he grabbed the bear, walking over to them, trying not to give into the desire to just sob, and apologize. Which he would do, at length, later.
“Your hearts are really in here?” He asked, moving towards the pair, and he could see both of them nod.
“It was the thing to do, and it seemed that you needed reminded that-“ Jun stopped as Aiba pulled him into a hug, the bear clutched between them, and Aiba could feel Jun’s arms curling around him, comforting and familiar, and Aiba wondered how he ever thought he could give this up.
“You better take good care of them, idiot, and stop doing things like trying to leave us.” Nino’s voice was harsh, and Aiba wondered if he imagined the wavering of his voice, but as Aiba shifted to pull Nino into a hug, he could feel the other shaking against him, and he was certain that Nino was about to cry.
“Love you.” Was all Aiba said, and he smiled at Nino pulled him closed, and laughed as Jun pulled them both close, the bear squashed between them.
This was where he wanted to be, and for once Nino was right. He had been an idiot to decide things based on his insecurities without talking to them. But he would not let it happen again. He was home, and he had been given a precious gift. The hearts of both Matsumoto Jun and Ninomiya Kazunari were something that he needed to take good care of, and he would, for as long as they would let him, which he was beginning to think, was always.
Yay for barely making deadlines!
Pairing: Aimatsumiya
Prompt/Summary: Aiba feels that he is the third wheel in their relationship and tried to leave. Nino and Jun may have differing opinion on this matter.
Super epic things to thoroughlynerdy without whom this would probably not have ended up finished.
Related to Aiba was a force of chaos and everyone knew it and What's the worst that could happen?
It was really no secret that being with Aiba was a test of both Jun and Nino’s patience, some days. The ‘roller skating like Kisumai’ incident, the ‘I tried to burn Jun’s reproductive bits off with liquid nitrogen’ incident, and the ‘everything random that I had in my fridge surprise stir fry’ incident that had left all three of them with horrible food poisoning were thing things that Aiba had done recently that drove them all a little bit crazy. Aiba had a lot of energy, and Nino and Jun did not always have the time to devote to Aiba, to help him guide that energy into productivity as opposed to the I love Arashi and I will show them just how much I love them by coming up with all these random things for us to do together nature of his plans. Aiba sometimes felt the need to reaffirm how much he loved his band mates through bonding and team building exercises, but since it was Arashi, nothing happened in the typical fashion. They all loved him, and cared for him, and were all firmly friends, and so when Aiba got carried away with his ideas, and his whims, and the need to show just how much, and how real his love for Arashi was, they let him. Besides, Nino and Jun were not sure where they would direct his energy, since they didn’t exactly have a lot of time to take up physically intensive hobbies, or the kind of creative outlet that would make Aiba happiest, since nothing they could come up with screamed “I love Arashi” as much as the things they can do together planned by Aiba. Both Nino and Jun agreed that as much as they enjoyed A no Arashi (sometimes) that getting the agency to give (or even consider giving) Aiba an entire A no Arashi show would be far too taxing on their already insane schedules, though it would make him happy. So Jun and Nino planned, and plotted and schemed, since they were good at these things, and settled on something that they knew would make Aiba happy. Other than them, which he already had.
The problem was, neither Nino nor Jun were particularly thrilled with their idea, though they both agreed it would make Aiba happy. Very very happy. Super happy. Happy to the point of happy tears and professions of his love for Arashi, and them, especially them. It was hard to keep a secret from Aiba, but they would do what they could. Their deadline: August 15th. Their mission: Operation Get Masaki A Present to Remind Him That the Kaze Trio Will Always Be and He Will Never Be Alone!!! (Jun had rolled his eyes at the name, but Nino’s glare and instance that they name it something Masaki-ish had won him over) would make him smile, Jun was sure. He was also sure that because they loved him, they would do this for him regardless of the mission needing a name, though Nino glaring and sighing was enough to get Jun to agree. The things that he did and went through for those two shocked him. But it was Nino. And it was Masaki. And it was worth it to see them smile
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aiba was sure that Nino and Jun loved him. After all the things that had gone wrong in some of his crazy schemes, if Jun did not love him, there was no way that he would have let him stay with them. Sometimes though, Aiba had to remind himself when he saw the two of them interacting that he was part of the bond that they shared and that they loved him, just as they loved each other. It was harder to ignore though when Nino and Jun were keeping something from him. Something that had them whispering, and jumping apart when he entered a room. Something that they would not tell him about. And he could not help but worry. Were his fears true?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Looking back, the beginnings of things had been subtle. The first inkling that any of them had had, well maybe him and Sho, since Riida just seemed to know these sorts of things, that anything was going on with Jun and Nino was when Nino was in LA filming for Letters. Jun was more irritable than normal, snappy and short with them, full of attitude and smacks with rings, until Ohno sat him down, curling into his side, and clinging, whispering things that Ohno would speak nothing of to anyone else, but it seemed to settle Jun down, at least for a little while, though Jun was not really, truly mellow, until Nino was back. Aiba could see brief moments between them, looks, a grope here or there by Nino on TV, the heckling and snarking flirtation, and he knew that there was something going on It was also the time that Aiba realized that he wanted that. While he loved everyone in Arashi, he realized, watching Nino and Jun’s interactions and developing relationship that he wanted to be there, with them. He wanted Jun to be antsy to see him again when he was on a location shoot. He wanted to make Nino’s eyes light up when he entered a room. He wanted to be able to distract Jun from a book, or Nino from a game with his laugh. He would never tell them, he would never come between them, because he loved them, with all that he was, and he wanted them to be happy more than he wanted anything in life, except maybe them being happy with him.
And then they began to pursue him. He did not realize that was what it was at first, but in retrospect, Nino would cling to him and Jun would invite him over for dinner. Nino would invite him over for games and Jun would suggest drinks. The three of them would gather to watch a movie, or a drama that one of the Arashi members was in. It was subtle, but Nino snuggles always happened, and Aiba had perhaps thought that it was a bit odd that Nino was snuggling him with Jun right there, but then one night Jun had kissed him, and then Nino, and that was the beginning of things with them.
It had been going on for years now, and Aiba was thankful for each moment that he got with Arashi, with his best friends, and especially for each moment that he got with Nino and Jun. Sometimes though, on days like today, he wondered if he was in the way. Or if they just kept him around since it was easier than breaking up with him and messing with the stability of Arashi. Some days he wondered why they even bothered to include him at all, but it was easy to ignore those doubts when Nino pulled him close and curled around him while they slept, or when Jun had him pushed against the wall, stealing kisses when no one was looking, no one but Nino, watching with a grin as Aiba allowed himself to be pulled into the mess.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jun took a deep breath, looking at the storefront, the parents and the screaming children, and he wondered what the hell he was doing here again. Nino, it seems, was the one that was willing to voice that thought.
“Just why are we here again, Jun-pon?” His voice was low, and Jun was fairly certain that no one would hear him, but at the same time the two of them were rather poorly disguised. Even though he had on glasses, and a hat, and a mask, Jun was hard to hide as it was, with his distinguished eyebrows and Nino was rocking the I am an otaku who escaped from Akiba look, but it did nothing to hide his actual identity whatsoever. Jun thought it was kind of adorable, and so he would never say that to Nino, who would make his life hell if he knew that Jun even thought such a thing, but it was cute. Jun shook his head to clear his thoughts, focusing on the question at hand.
“We are here for Masaki.” Was Jun’s quiet reply, and he could see Nino deflate, and hear him sigh for a moment, before straightening.
“Right. Him. This better be worth it.” Nino grumbled, grabbing Jun’s sleeve and pulling him forward towards the store, dropping his grip as soon as he was certain that Jun was following him.
Jun paused outside of the store and prayed to every deity that he could think of that no one noticed them here, that there were no paparazzi stories, nothing, since they would have a hell of a time explaining this away. He could see it now:
Arashi’s Matsumoto and Ninomiya On A date at Build a Bear: Who Are They Shopping For?
Caught in the Act: Sickeningly Sweet Gifts Exchanged Between the Snarky Pair.
Arashi Shopping for a Special Lady Friend? Ninomiya and Matsumoto Buy Coordinating Gifts.
There would be no way to explain this. Jun had tried, really tried, to get Fuku-chan on Himitsu so he and Nino would have a legitimate shooting related excuse, since if they were at the store with a guest, then it would be fine. But this was their day off, in the middle of a busy shopping street, and it was just him and Ninomiya.
Standing there, staring at the store, and the people, Jun could not help but think back to the beginning of things. He and Nino, ever since their days in M.A.I.N. had danced around each other, pushing and pulling and trying to find a way that they fit, and clicked. Early on they had both admitted that they liked Aiba, perhaps even more than liked, but he had never shown anything that might be considered interest in them, talking more about girls, and boobs, and MILF porn than anything else. Nino liked guys and girls, but he liked Jun more, so it worked.
It was nothing official though, not until Nino left for LA and Jun realized just how much the other meant to him, and how much he relied on the other for his moods. And he knew that he was moody, idol life was hard, having a humiliating on TV experience in relation to one of your band mates was hard, being ‘elite’ was a pain in the ass, and Jun was not growing up fast enough, not at that point at least, into the man that he was sure that Johnny had hoped that he would be. He was awkward and gangly, and needed his teeth fixed, and he was nothing that he had hoped to be. But it had been enough for Nino.
But then he was gone, and Jun had a hard time keeping the doubts at bay. Ohno had come to the rescue, acting as a public surrogate in place of Nino for Jun, and it had helped, but he was not, and never would be Nino.
It was at that point though, as Jun and Nino did their thing, a new tension and understanding between them, that they would catch Aiba watching, this lonely, wistful expression on his face. And so they planned. And plotted. And Aiba was their prey. He did not stand a chance, not with Jun and Nino both working on him. In the beginning he had asked, “is this ok?” “are you alright?” “are you sure that I can be here too?” Jun had thought that it was not until Nino had looked at Aiba, leaning in close, and tapping his head, and then his heart that Aiba had listened and finally heard that they meant it when Jun said that he had been there with them all along. But apparently he had been wrong.
Which is why they were here now, risking a lot, in some ways, to bring the smile that they loved back. Masaki is worth it. Jun made sure to remind himself as he slipped inside the store, Nino having gone ahead. It was his chant throughout the entire thing, though he was relieved to see his sister was there, waiting for them and chatting with Nino. If they were going to do this, they were going to do this right, and there would be pictures to commemorate the event.
Jun and Nino would be making three animals that day: A tiger to represent Jun, a dog to represent Nino, and a zoo keeper bear to represent Aiba. Because it was Jun, and Nino, and it would be perfect, they had (with cooperation of Shimura-san) gotten official Tensai! Shimura Doubutsuen overalls, as well as a shirt and bandanna for their zookeeper bear. Jun had gone to the studio after shooting while Nino kept Aiba busy, explaining that they were making animal themed presents for Aiba, and that they wanted to make a TSD bear. Shimura-san had not questioned more than that, and after asking about the specs of the bear, said that he would have it done. And he had. Jun’s manager had handed him a package discreetly after work one day, and Jun had been thrilled to see that the contents were a perfect match to Aiba’s TSD outfit, including the jumper, an addition that Shimura-san had thought up on his own. Which would go perfect with the uncharacteristically sappy gift that Jun and Nino had decided to give Aiba.
Both could tell that he still, after all these years, doubted his place with them, and they wanted to do something once and for all that would show him that he was wanted, and welcome, and theirs. That they would never let him go because they did not want him, he would have to decide that he wanted and wished for something else (though Jun was not sure that either he or Nino would really let him go that easily).
Other than putting their hearts literally and figuratively into the animals (both Nino and Jun might have thrown up a little in their mouths at the thought of just how sentimental the action was), they would be personalizing the animals. Jun had gotten a sparkling purple rhinestone collar for his stuffed tiger, and Nino had gotten a Mario themed collar for his dog.
Jun and Nino worked steadily, watching as the animals were stuffed (it was disappointing that they would not be able to stuff them themselves, and that there was a machine for that) and Nino had almost hit Jun when he suggested that he leave one of the dog’s paws unstuffed “to better mimic his wrist,” but the glare, and the laugh had been worth it as Nino commented with a fond smile that something like that would go over well, wouldn’t it? And Jun hoped that his sister caught a picture of them, as she was flitting between the both of them, snapping pictures of them watching the stuffing of the bears, frowning in concentration as they placed their ‘hearts’ into the zoo keeper bear, as they hugged the animals to see if it was firm enough, or soft enough. Nino had been unable to contain his laughter as Jun had to get his redone because it was lopsidedly stuffed, more on one side than the other, and Nino had just called him a perfectionist, and Jun had at that point hit Nino with his rings, and then froze, hoping that the store had not realized who they were, since there were being in no way subtle.
Jun was not sure how they did it, but it seemed that they managed to make it through the entire thing without someone screaming out that it was Arashi, or Jun, or Nino, or some combination thereof. They would have to watch the tabloids for a few days, but they were giving Aiba the gifts the next night, August 15th, another sentimental action on their part. Jun tended towards practicality more than romance, and Nino could be sweet, but it was more spontaneous, but both of them would go out of their way to make Masaki smile, and these days, his smile had been less bright.
Jun did end up making the tabloids, but it was that he was out on a shopping date with his sister, and how sweet was that, and there was a picture of them hugging but nothing more than that. Both Jun and Nino examined the image with a sharp gaze, making sure that neither the store they were at, or the fact that they had been there together was visible. So far, it looked like they would be able to pull this off without Aiba discovering, which was exactly what they wanted. Except, of course, nothing was quite that easy ever.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aiba watched Nino, and Jun, and now more than ever he could see that they were hiding something from him. He was not stupid despite the image that be portrayed on TV occasionally, and the fact that they were both looking very intently at Jun’s latest paparazzi sighting, and the fact that they kept sharing looks. Significant looks. The non-verbal communication that went on between two people who were agreement on something, or at least having a conversation that they were not willing to verbalize, was nothing that was unusual under most circumstances given that it happened all the time in Arashi (and fueled a lot of their fan service). But the fact that before this there had never been something that they kept from him, not since they had drawn him in and he had become part of them set him on edge. And it made him feel more like he was the outside in the relationship, watching something that he had no right to be involved in. Which was why this was so upsetting. If they did not want him there, if they needed some space from him, why did they not just tell him? It was not as if he was forever a part of things, though he would like to be, he was just someone that they had added to what they already were. If they did not want him there any longer, they would just tell him that. It was only fair to him, really.
It was obvious to Aiba at least, these days that they did not need him, at the very least they did not feel the need to include him. But why would they not be honest with him. It was Jun, and it was Nino, and they were always honest. Aiba sighed, looking from one to the other, and he was glad that Sho and Ohno were already gone for the day.
“I was thinking of going to Chiba tonight.” Aiba stated, and he could see Jun and Nino look at him, startled. The statement did come out of no where, and more than that, they had plans for the evening. Plans that Aiba was ducking out of.
“I thought you were coming over tonight?” Nino asked, shifting at the table so he could look at Aiba, studying him, and Aiba wondered if he could see through what Aiba was really thinking.
“I have not been home to see my parents in a while, and I just-“ Aiba paused, taking a steadying breath and Jun’s eyes narrowed in displeasure. It made it harder, knowing that Jun was unhappy, displeased with him, but he was making them unhappy, wasn’t he? “It just seems like you two wanted some alone time, so I was going to stay out of your way.”
“What gave you that idea?” Jun snapped and Aiba just looked at him, crossing his arms and leaning back into the couch defensively.
“It is kind of obvious, MatsuJun, the way you and Nino have been sneaking around for the last few days. If you wanted alone time you just should have told me.”
“Don’t be an idiot, Masaki.” Was Nino’s reply, and Aiba shook his head.
“It is fine.” Aiba insisted, smiling and Jun sighed.
“How long, Masaki?” Jun stood and moved over to the couch that Aiba was sitting on, his gaze studying Aiba, taking in his reactions.
“How long what, MatsuJun?” Aiba tried to feign ignorance but Jun would have none of that, and Aiba knew that he wouldn’t.
“How long?” Jun insisted and Aiba sighed.
“A while now, it is just clear over the past week or so that-“ Aiba stopped at there was a knock on the door, and their manager stuck his head it.
“Matsumoto-san, your sister is waiting for you downstairs.” Was all he said, and then he was gone again and Jun sighed. “You are coming over tonight. Nino, make sure that he comes over tonight. I don’t care what you have to do.”
“Got it.” Nino smirked at Jun, saluting him as the other walked by, grabbing his bag, and Jun stopped by the door.
“If we are making you unhappy you should say something, Masaki. We will fix it, whatever it is. But I will see you later.” Jun pulled the door firmly closed behind him, and Aiba could see the harsh glint in Nino’s eye, the seriousness in his face, and posture. Despite wanting to give them space, Nino and Jun would be having none of that tonight, Aiba was sure. But that just meant that he would have to be strong, and get it over with.
AIba was not at all surprised that Nino rounded on him as soon as the door closed.
“Masaki, what is going on?” Nino’s voice was not accusatory, just curious, and Aiba shook his head.
“I am going to Chiba, it will give you and Jun some space, to do whatever it is the two of you have been whispering about these past few days.”
“Jun-pon and I don’t need space from you, Masaki.” Nino replied, and Aiba could feel the tightening in his chest. Nino sounded sincere, he really did. It made Aiba almost want to reconsider his course of action.
“You seem to want it.” Aiba muttered softly, sinking down into the couch and he could hear Nino thinking, trying to figure out what was wrong.
“Masaki, what is wrong?”
Aiba paused, thinking the best way to approach this. In the end, there was only one thing that he could think of that would work. “Will you stop pushing if I agree to come over tonight?”
“Why?” Was Nino’s instant question, and Aiba should not have been surprised.
“It is something that you and Jun need to hear, that is all.” Aiba evaded the question and Nino’s eyes narrowed.
“Why can’t you tell me now. It isn’t like you are breaking up with us or anything.” He did not ask it like a question, but Aiba shifted under the weight of his gaze on the couch anyway, and he could near Nino’s sharp intake of breath.
“There is no way in hell you are not coming over tonight.” His voice was low, tight, and Aiba was surprised to hear anger, and obvious hurt there. Not what he was expecting at all.
In the end, Aiba was not given a choice in the matter, and on the car ride over, Nino kept pushing, needling answers out of Aiba that he did not want to give, did not give, expect that his silence, and hesitation, and expression were enough to give it away. The closer they got to Jun’s the more Nino was angered, and panicked, if Aiba was reading him correctly, and the worse Aiba was feeling.
This was not how he expected this to go, but him leaving them was for the best, he was sure of it. He would stick to the plan, through to the end.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jun stared at the bed with a smile. The stuffed animals were arranged, the bear in the center, in TSD garb, with the tiger and the dog on either side, wearing their collars. The collars were probably unnecessary, since Aiba should remember his own interview, but they did so many interviews it was hard to be sure. In front of the animals, with a purple and yellow bow was a scrapbook that his sister had put together for them, of Nino and Jun at Build a Bear, as well as other pictures of the three of them Jun had not been aware that she had taken. And some that she could not have taken, but he was sure that Nino had supplied her with.
As he heard keys in his door he padded back out to the living room. It was show time.
“Jun, Masaki is trying to break up with us.” Nino practically shoved Aiba into Jun’s apartment, closing the door sharply behind him, perhaps sharper than necessary, but given the statement that preceded the action Jun was surprised the door had not been slammed shut.
“What?” Jun asked, stopping in his tracks. He felt like he was going to be ill with the shock of the announcement and the utter unhappiness at he felt at such a statement. There was no way this was happening. He looked from Nino to Aiba, watching as Nino dragged Aiba further into the apartment, in front of Jun. Nino stood with his arms crossed, beside Aiba, giving Jun a look that all but said ‘this is unacceptable and you will do something about it’.
“I am breaking up with you.” Aiba’s voice wavered, and Jun could tell that the words were hard for him to say.
“This has to do with earlier? And the doubts?” Jun asked and Nino nodded, speaking before Aiba could.
“Apparently he feels that he is just a third wheel, and that he is here because it is more convenient for us than making him not here, and that we would be just fine without him.” Nino’s tone was waspish, not directed at Jun, Jun was sure, but more at the situation, and he could see Aiba shrinking away at the words though he did not make a move to deny them.
Jun’s eyes narrowed, wheels turning in his head.
“You should have said something Masaki. Do you want to leave us?” Jun was relieved when he saw Aiba shake his head, and he could feel the knot in his stomach loosening some. “But you think that we would be happier without you?” Jun asked and Aiba nodded, hesitating before he answered. Jun could see Nino shifting, unhappy, and from the heat in his gaze he was not happy with how Jun was handling this either.
“If you want to leave, fine.” Jun stated, and both Nino and Aiba cried out a startled “what?”
“You can leave us, but before you do, please go in the bedroom, and see what we have been doing for the past few days, and if you still want to leave after that, then there is nothing that I can do to stop you.” Aiba stared at Jun, his gaze studying him, and Jun was not sure what Aiba saw there, but the resignation and defeat in his posture was enough to make him want to smack the other man upside the head and call him an idiot for even daring to think that they did not want him for an instant. But that would not help.
“You would let me leave?” His voice was small and Jun sighed.
“You leaving is the last thing that we want, Masaki. But if that is what you want, and what will make you happy, I can’t stop you. I will not trap you in something that you don’t want.” Jun could see Nino’s posture change as Jun spoke, as he too relaxed some, turning Aiba so he faced the bedroom door and pushed him towards it.
“Go on, Masaki, please? J is right, if you want to leave after this, you can, but I don’t think you will want to.”
Jun watched Aiba move towards the bedroom with hesitant steps, even as Nino moved to stand beside him, hugging him close, and Jun could tell that Nino was still nervous. Jun was as well, but he hoped that Aiba would see this as a sign of their love, since that is what it was.
“It will be ok, J.” Nino murmured softly, and Jun hugged the other man tightly as they watched Aiba open the door. It would have to be OK.
~~~~~~~~~
Aiba could hear Jun and Nino whispering behind him, but for the moment it did not bother him. This was not going how to expected. In his head, he had expected Jun and Nino to be relieved that he was letting them go back to just the two of them. Or that they would fight him on it. That was the feeling he had gotten from Nino in the car. But for Jun to just agree it had unsettled him. Aiba was also not sure how anything in the bedroom would make him change his mind. He was sure that he would not be able to control his temper if it was the new collection of sex toys they had just bought displayed, but Jun was not ever so callous as to rub something he could not have in his face. Jun was not someone to let someone go that he wanted, or something, and neither was Nino, so the fact that the two seemed to have differing views on this was painful.
Which was why Aiba was hesitating before entering the room. He did not want to see what they had been doing without him. He just wanted to walk away, and accept what he was always been afraid of, that he did not belong with them.
But it was better to get it over with, then delay this, and so, summoning all the courage that he had Aiba pushed open the door, stepping inside, and the sight before him was enough to bring tears to his eyes.
He just might owe them an apology.
Aiba was sitting on the bed before he realized what he was doing, touching the stuffed animals gently, and he was certain that there were tears running down his face, since it was hard to see. Pickng up the tiger, he hugged it close, noting that it had a MatsuJun-esq collar and look to it, while the dog was very much Nino.
They had remembered what animals he had made them.
What touched him more, and convinced him that he was perhaps a complete idiot, and that Nino and Jun’s loving mocking comments were true, was the fact that in addition to those, was a bear in full Tensai! garb, official if the logos that Aiba could see were correct. They had taken the time to talk to Shumira-san about it, which meant that there were serious about this, about him. To go out of their way to do this, he really was a fool.
Which only made him cry harder, and it was with shaking hands that he picked up the scrapbook, flipping through it, though he did not get very far.
A heartfelt gift, on his anniversary no less. They remembered, and were oddly sentimental. He really really really owed them an apology now. As soon as he could stop crying long enough to form a sentence.
“You know, we put our hearts into those, literally.” Nino’s voice surprised Aiba, and his head snapped up, looking to the door where both Nino and Jun watched him, and he could see that they were nervous.
“The picture is in there somewhere, I know that my sister took it.” Jun’s voice was a bit pained. “I just-we---“ Jun paused, and Aiba could see, even through his tears, that Jun was nervous. “You aren’t going to walk out.” While Jun tired to make it a statement, Aiba could hear the hesitation in his voice, and he grabbed the bear, walking over to them, trying not to give into the desire to just sob, and apologize. Which he would do, at length, later.
“Your hearts are really in here?” He asked, moving towards the pair, and he could see both of them nod.
“It was the thing to do, and it seemed that you needed reminded that-“ Jun stopped as Aiba pulled him into a hug, the bear clutched between them, and Aiba could feel Jun’s arms curling around him, comforting and familiar, and Aiba wondered how he ever thought he could give this up.
“You better take good care of them, idiot, and stop doing things like trying to leave us.” Nino’s voice was harsh, and Aiba wondered if he imagined the wavering of his voice, but as Aiba shifted to pull Nino into a hug, he could feel the other shaking against him, and he was certain that Nino was about to cry.
“Love you.” Was all Aiba said, and he smiled at Nino pulled him closed, and laughed as Jun pulled them both close, the bear squashed between them.
This was where he wanted to be, and for once Nino was right. He had been an idiot to decide things based on his insecurities without talking to them. But he would not let it happen again. He was home, and he had been given a precious gift. The hearts of both Matsumoto Jun and Ninomiya Kazunari were something that he needed to take good care of, and he would, for as long as they would let him, which he was beginning to think, was always.