Reflecting [Observation deck - Julian and Marlena]
He remembered the past week completely. He wished he didn't, the way you do when you have a nightmare you'd rather had disappeared upon waking, the way some dreams do. It hurt, an almost physical ache when he thought about it, which was precisely what he was trying not to do.
At this time of night, or perhaps morning would be the correct word, the observation deck was deserted, save for him. Julian had left the lights off, only a faint glow from under the door combining with the starlight to illuminate he space. There were no star systems or constellations he could identify, not at warp speed at least. The stars were streaks rather then points of light; lesser celestial bodies, comets and nebulae, were all but invisible.
He solved a system of differential equations in his head, just to remind himself that he could; ran through the various species of single-celled symbiotes commonly found in the Andorian digestive tract; and recited under his breath the past twenty-seven Holders of the Sacred Chalice of Rixx.
The last name made him smile in spite of himself. He wondered if he'd ever see Odo again, and whether the grumpy constable had made any progress in refining a humanoid nose in the time Julian had been gone.
He wondered what Odo would say, or Kira, or Jadzia, if they could have seen him as a child.
With no interior illumination, Julian's reflection was little more than a shadowed silhoutte against the starfield. Within the outline of his form, stars streaked past. He could almost imagine that his body was composed of stars.
He was jolted from his reverie by the sound of the door sliding open. He didn't turn to see who it was; despite the low light, he could see her reflection in the window well enough. He couldn't make out her features, but the shape of her hair told him without a doubt who had finally found him.
She didn't speak as she moved to stand beside him. Neither did he. She stood rather closer than she would have for another person who she barely knew; the two of them hadn't even met before the previous week. Nothing brought people closer faster than being turned into children, she thought wryly.
After a minute or so, she spoke. "You're full of stars." It didn't make a lot of sense, she realized, but it was what she saw.
Julian laughed, a short, harsh sound. "Yeah."
He still wasn't looking at her. Marlena couldn't see his face in the window; she glanced sideways at him, worried. "Are you all right?"
"No."
Her hand was halfway to his shoulder--he saw it in the reflection--before she dropped it, remembering, she didn't actually know him. He wasn't the little boy she'd cared for, the child struggling with simple tasks, with a singular view of the universe. She didn't know him; she didn't know what to say, what he needed to hear to make this better.
"I don't even know your last name," Julian said abruptly. It was a trivial thing. He'd lived wih her for a week, and didn't even properly know who she was.
"Moreau," she told him. She'd have asked him the same question, but he'd told her, as a child.
"And what universe are you from, Marlena Moreau?"
It was a perfectly reasonable question, on this ship. More relevant, certainly, than a more general "where are you from?" "Have you met the elder Kirk? Well, he's a woman at the moment, but I'm from the universe that is...opposite, I suppose, to his."
"Mirror universe, huh?" he commented. The name seemed familiar, now, but he wasn't sure why. Perhaps he'd overheard it on the mirror Terok Nor.
"Yeah," she agreed, "that's what some people call it. What about you, Jules?"
"It's Julian," he corrected her shortly. "Nobody calls me Jules anymore."
"You were Jules when you were a kid," she pointed out. "What have you got against the nickname? I think it's kind of cute."
"Stop it." He looked at her sharply. "Just stop."
She shut up immediately, surprised. He scowled and turned back to the window.
A long moment passed before he spoke again. "Thank you for taking care of me, while I was...like that."
"You're welcome, Julian." She paused. "You didn't tell me what universe you're from."
"Same one as the older Kirk, as far as I can tell," he answered, "but farther in the future. It's 2371 there." He glanced at her. "And please don't ask me to tell you what happens in the future."
Marlena laughed. "It would probably be the wrong future, anyway. Different universe, remember? Besides, you might have changed the future by coming to the past."
Julian shrugged. He wasn't sure temporal mechanics actually worked that way...then again, they never really seemed to work any way that people ever said it did. "Maybe," he said.
He turned to look at her, studying her face in the dim light. Faces were a curious thing. He could recognize her from other details without ever seeing her face; it was a skill he'd learned as a child, and though no longer necessary, he hadn't lost the ability, either. "You're shorter than I thought," he observed.
"You're taller than you used to be," she countered, grinning.
He inclined his head. "True." Turning around, he leaned against the window, folding his arms across his chest. "Thank you, by the way, for taking care of me. It was very kind of you. Although...I have to wonder, why? You didn't even know me."
Marlena was silent for a moment, considering her answer. "You didn't seem to have anyone else," she told him, "and Ephram asked me to."
"And why were you taking care of Ephram?"
The explanation still made her feel awkward. "I wasn't sure if he had anyone else, either," she said honestly, "and I knew him, vaguely, as an...acquaintance...we weren't close, I mean, but I was worried that he might not have anyone else..." She trailed off. Julian was looking at her a little strangely.
"You're closer now, though?" he prompted.
She shrugged. "I haven't had a chance to see him, really, since he's been, er, grown up again. What about you?"
Julian shook his head. "I didn't know him. He was nice to me when we were kids, for no real reason as well, but I didn't know him at all before that."
"Really? He didn't interview you?"
"No. What do you mean, interview?"
"That's why he's here," Marlena explained. "He's from Starfleet Intelligence. He was sent here to find out about all the displaced people. I'd have thought he would have contacted you as soon as you came aboard."
Julian shrugged. "Maybe I ought to mention that to him. In a few days, maybe...give everyone a chance to recover from being children. And give him a chance to...talk things over with Kevin."
"Yes, like they were talking in the transporter room." Marlena smirked, and Julian laughed outright.
"Yeah. That too." Abruptly, he reached out and pulled her into a hug. "Thank you, Lena. For coming to find me, for taking care of me...for everything."
She hugged him back, giving him a squeeze. He was a good hugger, she thought, randomly. She felt safe in his arms. Part of her wondered if he'd felt like that when she hugged him as a child. "Is this strange?" she murmured. "I mean, suddenly being an adult again, when before you only saw me as..."
"A friend," he supplied. "You were never a maternal figure, Lena." He drew back a little, not breaking the hug, but enough so he could look down at her. "I have memories of you, from a child's perspective. It seems as though I've always known you."
"So...this isn't weird, then?" She lifted a hand to touch his face lightly. "It's not..."
"It's not Oedipal, if that's what you're asking." Julian smiled slowly. "I feel as though I've known you forever, and you've known me since childhood. But we still don't know each other that well. Do you want to get to know me better?" It wasn't a line, not really. He only wanted to know her answer.
"Of course I do, Julian," she told him. Kevin's and Ephram's desire for one another had not been affected by the past week, and surely this situation was analogous, at the very least.
He kissed her in answer, lightly, just the barest brush of lips across hers. It might almost have been called chaste, if not for how long he lingered. "Good," he murmured. He released her, finally, with a little chuckle. "I should send Ephram that message."
It took Marlena a moment to remember what he meant. "Oh, yes. You should." She stepped away from him. "You...I mean, will you be all right, now?"
His smile was genuine. "Yes. Thank you." He kissed her on the cheek. "I'll see you later, Lena."
He left the observation deck feeling considerably better than he had when he'd arrived.
At this time of night, or perhaps morning would be the correct word, the observation deck was deserted, save for him. Julian had left the lights off, only a faint glow from under the door combining with the starlight to illuminate he space. There were no star systems or constellations he could identify, not at warp speed at least. The stars were streaks rather then points of light; lesser celestial bodies, comets and nebulae, were all but invisible.
He solved a system of differential equations in his head, just to remind himself that he could; ran through the various species of single-celled symbiotes commonly found in the Andorian digestive tract; and recited under his breath the past twenty-seven Holders of the Sacred Chalice of Rixx.
The last name made him smile in spite of himself. He wondered if he'd ever see Odo again, and whether the grumpy constable had made any progress in refining a humanoid nose in the time Julian had been gone.
He wondered what Odo would say, or Kira, or Jadzia, if they could have seen him as a child.
With no interior illumination, Julian's reflection was little more than a shadowed silhoutte against the starfield. Within the outline of his form, stars streaked past. He could almost imagine that his body was composed of stars.
He was jolted from his reverie by the sound of the door sliding open. He didn't turn to see who it was; despite the low light, he could see her reflection in the window well enough. He couldn't make out her features, but the shape of her hair told him without a doubt who had finally found him.
She didn't speak as she moved to stand beside him. Neither did he. She stood rather closer than she would have for another person who she barely knew; the two of them hadn't even met before the previous week. Nothing brought people closer faster than being turned into children, she thought wryly.
After a minute or so, she spoke. "You're full of stars." It didn't make a lot of sense, she realized, but it was what she saw.
Julian laughed, a short, harsh sound. "Yeah."
He still wasn't looking at her. Marlena couldn't see his face in the window; she glanced sideways at him, worried. "Are you all right?"
"No."
Her hand was halfway to his shoulder--he saw it in the reflection--before she dropped it, remembering, she didn't actually know him. He wasn't the little boy she'd cared for, the child struggling with simple tasks, with a singular view of the universe. She didn't know him; she didn't know what to say, what he needed to hear to make this better.
"I don't even know your last name," Julian said abruptly. It was a trivial thing. He'd lived wih her for a week, and didn't even properly know who she was.
"Moreau," she told him. She'd have asked him the same question, but he'd told her, as a child.
"And what universe are you from, Marlena Moreau?"
It was a perfectly reasonable question, on this ship. More relevant, certainly, than a more general "where are you from?" "Have you met the elder Kirk? Well, he's a woman at the moment, but I'm from the universe that is...opposite, I suppose, to his."
"Mirror universe, huh?" he commented. The name seemed familiar, now, but he wasn't sure why. Perhaps he'd overheard it on the mirror Terok Nor.
"Yeah," she agreed, "that's what some people call it. What about you, Jules?"
"It's Julian," he corrected her shortly. "Nobody calls me Jules anymore."
"You were Jules when you were a kid," she pointed out. "What have you got against the nickname? I think it's kind of cute."
"Stop it." He looked at her sharply. "Just stop."
She shut up immediately, surprised. He scowled and turned back to the window.
A long moment passed before he spoke again. "Thank you for taking care of me, while I was...like that."
"You're welcome, Julian." She paused. "You didn't tell me what universe you're from."
"Same one as the older Kirk, as far as I can tell," he answered, "but farther in the future. It's 2371 there." He glanced at her. "And please don't ask me to tell you what happens in the future."
Marlena laughed. "It would probably be the wrong future, anyway. Different universe, remember? Besides, you might have changed the future by coming to the past."
Julian shrugged. He wasn't sure temporal mechanics actually worked that way...then again, they never really seemed to work any way that people ever said it did. "Maybe," he said.
He turned to look at her, studying her face in the dim light. Faces were a curious thing. He could recognize her from other details without ever seeing her face; it was a skill he'd learned as a child, and though no longer necessary, he hadn't lost the ability, either. "You're shorter than I thought," he observed.
"You're taller than you used to be," she countered, grinning.
He inclined his head. "True." Turning around, he leaned against the window, folding his arms across his chest. "Thank you, by the way, for taking care of me. It was very kind of you. Although...I have to wonder, why? You didn't even know me."
Marlena was silent for a moment, considering her answer. "You didn't seem to have anyone else," she told him, "and Ephram asked me to."
"And why were you taking care of Ephram?"
The explanation still made her feel awkward. "I wasn't sure if he had anyone else, either," she said honestly, "and I knew him, vaguely, as an...acquaintance...we weren't close, I mean, but I was worried that he might not have anyone else..." She trailed off. Julian was looking at her a little strangely.
"You're closer now, though?" he prompted.
She shrugged. "I haven't had a chance to see him, really, since he's been, er, grown up again. What about you?"
Julian shook his head. "I didn't know him. He was nice to me when we were kids, for no real reason as well, but I didn't know him at all before that."
"Really? He didn't interview you?"
"No. What do you mean, interview?"
"That's why he's here," Marlena explained. "He's from Starfleet Intelligence. He was sent here to find out about all the displaced people. I'd have thought he would have contacted you as soon as you came aboard."
Julian shrugged. "Maybe I ought to mention that to him. In a few days, maybe...give everyone a chance to recover from being children. And give him a chance to...talk things over with Kevin."
"Yes, like they were talking in the transporter room." Marlena smirked, and Julian laughed outright.
"Yeah. That too." Abruptly, he reached out and pulled her into a hug. "Thank you, Lena. For coming to find me, for taking care of me...for everything."
She hugged him back, giving him a squeeze. He was a good hugger, she thought, randomly. She felt safe in his arms. Part of her wondered if he'd felt like that when she hugged him as a child. "Is this strange?" she murmured. "I mean, suddenly being an adult again, when before you only saw me as..."
"A friend," he supplied. "You were never a maternal figure, Lena." He drew back a little, not breaking the hug, but enough so he could look down at her. "I have memories of you, from a child's perspective. It seems as though I've always known you."
"So...this isn't weird, then?" She lifted a hand to touch his face lightly. "It's not..."
"It's not Oedipal, if that's what you're asking." Julian smiled slowly. "I feel as though I've known you forever, and you've known me since childhood. But we still don't know each other that well. Do you want to get to know me better?" It wasn't a line, not really. He only wanted to know her answer.
"Of course I do, Julian," she told him. Kevin's and Ephram's desire for one another had not been affected by the past week, and surely this situation was analogous, at the very least.
He kissed her in answer, lightly, just the barest brush of lips across hers. It might almost have been called chaste, if not for how long he lingered. "Good," he murmured. He released her, finally, with a little chuckle. "I should send Ephram that message."
It took Marlena a moment to remember what he meant. "Oh, yes. You should." She stepped away from him. "You...I mean, will you be all right, now?"
His smile was genuine. "Yes. Thank you." He kissed her on the cheek. "I'll see you later, Lena."
He left the observation deck feeling considerably better than he had when he'd arrived.