Writing about love. What a novel idea.
Yeah, I could update about my life, but this matter is more at the front of my mind.
Being in love. I tell people I love them all the time, the word gets tossed all over the place, but then there's the matter of being IN love. It's funny that way. Through the word "in" in the front, and suddenly it's a whole new ball game. I love video games, I love my dog, I love mashed potatoes. I'm in love. Woah, what?!
It seems like we're taught about how special being in love is very early on. A big deal is made of being in love. Soul mates and all that jazz, one true loves. Yet talking to people, I get a lot of people saying they've been in love. Now, a lot of these people are 20 or below, going as young as 16. For being this big IN LOVE thing, it sure seems to happen early and often.
I've wondered many times what the whole deal is. Is being in love a set, solid thing? It's not like you can check people for that. No physical evidence, can't do a brain scan on that. So what is it? I just get the feeling that love (just assume from here on in that when I say love, I'm refering to being in love, not love for your car or anything) is different for each person, despite the fact that we round it all up into one all powerful word. Though, we do kind of hold the idea up to a scale. "I love you, do you love me?" Yeah, sure, but how do we know that me loving you is the same as you loving me.
I mean, unless when I fall in love, it's like the sims and a big red heart appears over my head so that I can say to myself, "OH! I'm in love! That was just really intense feelings back there, but this is love," is there any real way for me to tell?
And don't give me any of that hallmark crap of "You'll know it's love when... blahblahbladiddyblah."
It makes it sound like such a black and white, yes and no question. As if you cruise along in a relationship not being in love, when suddenly without even a sign for an exit, you hit the love turnpike! Wham, bam.
The whole idea caused a bit of trouble in my previous relationship. She dropped that four letter word, and it caused confusion. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't the kind of trouble they'd make you think would happen on Sex in the City of some Lifetime crap or anything. It was that now she claimed to be in love with me, and I'm sitting around trying to figure out where I stand. I want to say it back and mean it, but am I in love? I really cared about her and all, but I wasn't sure it was true love. There hadn't been any fireworks or love songs or any of the bull they toss at you in those romantic comedies, so I was lost. What did I have? Love or strong feelings, love or strong feelings.
I think it bothered her that I could never figure that one out.
But the idea bothered me, too. As I said before, they make a big deal of love. ONE TRUE LOVE. All that business. And not to be mean to her, but after hearing so much of this wonderful love thing, being told your girlfriend loves you after only a month or so... "All you need is love! And it's really easy to get, too..."
Which brings me to the idea of love at first sight. To put it right out front, I do not believe in love at first site, not in the slightest (I thought Romeo and Juliet was crap. Stupid teenagers killed themselves over a friggin' crush). The idea of love at first site really cheapens the idea of love to me. If love is such a big deal, it should not just click in an instant like that... That's like buying a video game and immediately using a gameshark to unlock everything. Where's the fun in that? Yes, terrible comparison, but still.
I'm sorry, my thoughts aren't nearly as coherent as I'd hoped they'd come out, but I haven't written in a while (or had a good discussion of this nature with a 2nd party, so my skills at being thoughtful are rusty) but there's that. And abruptly, I end it.