I don't have any answers, but reading this is like hearing an echo of my thoughts from the day I went on the facebook, scary and strangely thrilling beast that it is.
I have sort of a weird dread about like ninja bad guy undead super villains somehow coming to get me on facebook, though, so best to ignore my ramblings.
Nik joined Facebook as a result of GDC, I think it was, where many people asked if he was on Facebook, and others responded to queries of "So, have you heard from so-and-so lately?" with an off-hand comment about him being on Facebook. I joined a couple months ago because Barbara (my best friend in law school) begged me too, swearing that she would keep in touch better if I did (lies!), and have added people as it's occurred to me to wonder what they're up to. As you can see from my profile, I haven't so much done anything with it now that I'm there, but there I am, and people can find me if they wish. I still regard it as something new and strange and different, and therefore not to be trusted.
Personally, my response to someone being upset over me being an atheist is "fuck 'em". If someone would like me if I was a Christian, but not if I was an atheist, then I don't want them to like me. Same goes for being in open relationships, or being liberal, or (hypothetically) wanting men.
I don't really have rules for who gets friended. It's a case-by-case "do I feel like it" thing.
I think you misread my post (or perhaps I miswrote it). I don't feel the need to add my friend's friends, and I haven't done so. I don't know those people. The ones I'm struggling with are people I knew but not well, and people I knew very well who are probably not glad to hear from me.
I misremembered... I read it and then thought about it a few days later when I came across the five geek social fallacies.
It's difficult in those situations, where you're pretty sure they don't want to waste their time talking to you ever again. In December, I ran into a person I was friends with in college, had about three minutes of small talk, and so later that week I emailed her and asked if she'd want to do coffee. She very politely said she wasn't interested in hanging out, and I appreciate that. I'm not for everyone. And no one has enough time to catch up with everyone they once knew. The etiquette when you can find the people you once knew in fifth grade, or the people who slowly but intentionally slipped out of your life, isn't well defined. If you think that there's anything left worth kicking up, that it's worth both your and their time, then maybe contact them. These are all corner cases.
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I have sort of a weird dread about like ninja bad guy undead super villains somehow coming to get me on facebook, though, so best to ignore my ramblings.
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I don't really have rules for who gets friended. It's a case-by-case "do I feel like it" thing.
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It's difficult in those situations, where you're pretty sure they don't want to waste their time talking to you ever again. In December, I ran into a person I was friends with in college, had about three minutes of small talk, and so later that week I emailed her and asked if she'd want to do coffee. She very politely said she wasn't interested in hanging out, and I appreciate that. I'm not for everyone. And no one has enough time to catch up with everyone they once knew. The etiquette when you can find the people you once knew in fifth grade, or the people who slowly but intentionally slipped out of your life, isn't well defined. If you think that there's anything left worth kicking up, that it's worth both your and their time, then maybe contact them. These are all corner cases.
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