Okay So I have a problem. I get really really really obsessed with things I like. Really Obsesses. Capital O and Capital R obsessed! Obsessed with what?, you might ask.
Honestly it could be anything. How am I Obsessed? Well I'm not as bad as I used to be ... I hope. When I was younger and found something. Hmmm ... example : Naruto. I knew everything about the characters. Back Stories, blood types, birthdays (I would mark their birthdays in my calendar haha) and the list goes on! I mean I used to write a lot of fanfiction so I could argue the fact that it was "research" for that particular thing... but it wasn't. It was my need to know and enjoy everything I possibly could associated with that one thing. Now some of you think that maybe that might not really be obsessed? But it really used to hinder my work. I would think about it all the time. My sister *cough* would probably say that I'm the same kind of crazy as I was back then.
And that pretty much might be true lol.
But! I have figured out a way around it. It took me a while. But usually I like a show/movie/comic so much because there is something unique there or something thats just done right and it takes up an area in my mind. I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. Usually I used to be able to deal with it by talking it out with other fans or my sister. Well I have learned recently that some fandoms ... the fans ... SCARE ME! Like Seriously! I won't go into detail about what fandom but I'll just say the fans my have got me out of my obsession in a way I didn't really appreciate. haha
And sometimes I know I make people sick of the things I like. Because I talk about it tooo much or something. (which I know I do) so I have had to cut back on that ... plus I dont want "normal" people to see inside my crazy. I like it where it is. But if I can't talk about it ... and I can't join the fandoms ... the thing seriously ends up spending its time in my head. Which ... kinda sucks ...
My head is full enough with my own ideas and stories that I keep playing in there (and believe me there is a lot!) and I have real life in there too. So my head is preoccupied but I'm shoving more of this useless knowledge into it because I CANT STOP. I know its bad when I start dreaming about said show, comic, movie for weeks in a row.
(wow this whole thought process seems to be a giant tangent or something ... anyways)
Now ... I gave up writing fanfiction a while back. Because 1: I'm really not that great of a writer no matter what other people say. and 2. I have my own comics and things to work on.
But after dreaming about Chuck (the tv show) and The Losers (comic/movie) over and over everything freaking night that now my dreams have become a crossover universe? Yeah ... I need to get that out of my head.
The answer?
Fanfiction! Haha, now this doesn't mean I just put everything aside and start writing fanfiction again instead of doing my comic thing. (though arguably Star Trek: A New Stage is a fan comic but its a group effort gosh darn it and ... whatever ... lol ) but when I have down time or waiting for critique I now open OpenOffice and get to work. I mean its not perfect. and I'm just typing a long whatever is in my head at that moment. But oh my gosh does it help. Seven pages in and I've had two nights of dreaming about my own stories and crap.
Except that one time Psych characters showed up. but im trying not to think about that right now lol
And yeah ... there I just ranted about my crazy.
I think this is the longest non-fic post I've ever posted at this journal lol
Which I guess I should warn you guys that I'll probably post some fanfiction here. Because what's the point of writing it if I'm the only one that gets to see it? haha
feel free to ignore it and just remember its my way of keeping my brain on the tasks that I want it to be on.
<3