Supernatural Fic: Saving Dean
Okay, here's the last installment of the Special Kind of Hell trilogy, that I thought was just a single ficlet, but
phantomas convinced me was actually three ficlets. I have to thank her again for giving me such great brain food to make the story grow, and also for her quick beta and essential opinion on whether or not this installment added to, or detracted from, the previous 2.
Hopefully, this will close the book nicely. I promise, no matter what
phantomas says, this truely is the last one. 3's a crowd; 4's a lynch mob. If anyone is interested, I've written a relatively extensive meta on character motivation in the entry before this one. Most of what I rattle on about there is the thinking process on what motivates Sam, Dean and John in terms of why they make the choices they make. My views on the subject are relatively atypical from more traditional SPN fandom stances, but they will explain, in particular, why I made the choices I did in this ficlet.
Hope y'all enjoy it. As always, love to know your thoughts. Please share.
Title: Saving Dean
Author:
dodger_winslow
Rating: All
Pairings: None
Spoilers: Devil's Trap
Disclaimer: I don't own the boys, I'm just stalking them for a while.
Summary: There’s a special kind of hell reserved for brothers who let their heroes down.
Notes: Third in a trilogy that includes Slaying Dragons and Slaying Demons
Saving Dean
There’s a special kind of hell reserved for brothers who let their heroes down.
It’s not the kind where Dad and Dean try to shame you into living the hunter’s life they want you to lead. It’s not the kind where you wake up to find Jess pinned to the ceiling and on fire. It’s not even the kind where your dad begs you to shoot him, just shoot him in the heart, son, and you know that’s exactly what you have to do.
It’s worse than all of those. It’s the kind of hell where you listen to Dean plead with you through the gurgle of his own blood to let the demon go.
When Dean was three, he believed that Dad could slay dragons. He never grew out of it. He still believes. And because he does, sometimes Dad can.
But even a man who slays dragons can’t de-possess himself of a demon in the name of anything.
Not vengeance. Not love. Not anything.
And therein lies the rub. Because Dean believes Dad can. You can see it in his eyes when he begs Dad not to let the demon kill him. He believes Dad can do it -- he believes Dad will do it -- because as much as he says he doesn’t, Dean’s the only one of them who’s ever had a little faith.
Faith in Dad.
Faith in you.
Faith in love.
And that’s how Dad does it. Because Dean believes he can.
For all these years, you thought hell was trying to live the life Dean and Dad wanted you to live. You thought it was watching Jess burn on the ceiling of your bedroom, and you thought it was hearing Dad order you to shoot him in the heart and knowing that was exactly what you were going to do. For all these years, you’ve thought you were in hell, but you were wrong. Hell would have been looking into Dean’s eyes if you’d pulled the trigger.
That would have been your own special kind of hell, the one this demon had reserved just for you.
But you didn’t.
You didn’t because now you know, no matter how hard the demon tries, it only wins if you let it. And you’ll never let it. Because Dean puts family first, and you put Dean first. And that was really the answer all along. Family. It’s the only escape you have from your own special kind of hell. Saving Dean. Because in the end, he’s all that’s ever really mattered.
-finis-