"Hello?...Oh hi! Good to hear from you! How've you been?...So, tell me what's up?...HA! FOOLED YOU! I'm not even here! Ha! I'm probably off doing doctor stuff. You know, solving mysteries, having adventures, getting laid...Oooh, if this is about that last one, leave a detailed message, all right? Oh, you should probably do that anyway. But
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"I'll have you know that any freaky lingerie stuff we get up to is amazing, thank you very much. Pity you won't watch and learn."
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