Assignment 017 - Kill the junkies, sedate the whores - [Voice]

[doeswhatido]

[[The voice sounds...a little agitated.]]

So far people seem to think the punch has been spiked, we've been brainwashed, I've heard aliens, the fun little idea that somehow everyone of us shot up or shot down or we're all just generally tripping on some super-effective acid but somehow, in all these theories, it's happened to all of us.What about

Comments

[Voice]

[doeswhatido]

Finally!

[Voice] - LOL MISTER PESSIMIST

[doeswhatido]

Of course you can. People die at all ages.

POST HAIRCUT!

[emptyyourself]

I am most assuredly not dead.

I SEE SOMETHING THAT LOOKS LIKE SEX ON LEGS IN THAT ICON

[doeswhatido]

And what evidence do you have to prove otherwise?

ME TOO.

[emptyyourself]

A pulse.

NOMNOMNOMNOMNOMFUCKINGNOM!

[doeswhatido]

How do you know there isn't an afterlife where people do have pulses?

[rani_ushas]

[Gentle throat-clearing.]

I'm not so sure about that. But localised virus outbreaks aboard cruise ships are not unknown. Perhaps we were all affected by such an outbreak. If it were meningitis, for instance.

[doeswhatido]

And yet the staff on board seem perfectly fine...?

[rani_ushas]

Some kind of psychological side effect?

...I know it sounds like I don't quite know what I'm talking about, but I am a research scientist. So far as I can tell.

[doeswhatido]

A virus that causes people to lose all memory and yet retain normal human functioning processes, doesn't affect the ability to move or stand or walk, lets our bodies tell us when to use the restroom, eat, drink, etc., and yet...am I following here?

[rayney_day]

Gimme' a break... What, people get magically selected to go on some kind of voyage of the damned? Really?

I sure as hell don't recognise any of you.

[doeswhatido]

So you think we all ate or drank from the exact thing? Or do you think aliens? What do you think?

[rayney_day]

I don't know, but I'm pretty sure the afterlife wouldn't give me a bathroom with acid coming out the pipes.

[doeswhatido]

Are you sure it's acid?

[bob_fraser_snr]

No. My family aren't here and they should be. I'm not sure who they are but I know that someone I care about is dead and I miss them.

[There is a long pause as he tries and fails to dreg up that memory, perhaps his brain is resisting that because of a trauma?]

I can't assume we are dead, not until I've exhausted every other possibility. Even aliens.

[doeswhatido]

The staff are aliens?

[bob_fraser_snr]

Who knows? Have you tried speaking to them?

[doeswhatido]

They don't say much aside from questions about what I'd need or where things are.