And you remember love is white, but maybe so is pain.
"Thanks for sending me back."
You stop a few steps before the dorm's entrance.
The last time you stood here, it was Kyungsoo giving you a goodnight kiss on the forehead. You shiver inwardly at the memory.
"No problem." Chanyeol grins. "And hey."
You peer up at the tall male.
"I know you're attached, but if anything happens, and you are willing to give me a chance, just remember this."
He pulls you into a tight embrace.
"I'm warm, you know. Since I'm a Fire manipulator and all."
"Dklfffskfsdjd..." You mumble against his chest.
"What?" He corks a brow and you struggle to free some space between him and your face.
"I said I can't breathe, Chanyeol."
"Oh, sorry!" He releases you and you fall backwards.
"Don't do that again else I'll fry your consciousness." You warn sternly.
"Please don't!" He whines and cowers in shock.
You chuckle out loud at his fearful expression.
When he sees you laughing, he echos the action with an additional thigh-slapping.
"So I'll see you at Minseok's party?" He asks after calming down.
"Maybe."
You wave him goodbye.
There's still a phone message you are thinking about.
____________
Kyungsoo feels a stab of pain inside when Chanyeol hugs you.
And you didn't push him away.
In fact, the two of you are laughing.
Did you... Prefer his hug?
His mouth feels bitter and suddenly the idea of telling you the truth doesn't seem as important anymore.
Why will it be important?
If you can fall so easily to another guy after all you two had experienced, why does it even matter anymore?
But why must it be the guy you've been trying to avoid this past week? What does it make him?
He's utterly confused and he doesn't realize he's left the scene until the familiar outline of his dorm comes into view.
His phone beeps and he reads the message.
From: _________
Sorry, I was out. What did you want to tell me?
Kyungsoo bites back a rancid taste and clicks in his reply.
Chanyeol seems like a good guy. Maybe you should give him a chance.
There's something like a heartbreak inside, quiet yet loud at the same time.
___________
Your phone beeps.
When you read the message, you can't believe it.
Something pricks behind your eyes and you allow the tears to burn and blur your vision before it falls.
So this is it?
She's tired of acting as camaraderie and proposing you accept another person?
Another person that's not Kyungsoo?
When all you ever want and care about, is Kyungsoo?
You feel like laughing, but the tears keep coming.
The afternoon sun makes the entire room seem too bright and white.
And you remember love is white, but maybe so is pain.
_______________
Amber finds you lying on the bed in the evening.
"How did the movie go today?" She asks breezily.
"Ok." You mutter motionlessly.
"Yeol is a pretty good guy you know."
"That's what Soo Jin said as well."
"Soo Jin said that?" Amber quizzes.
"Yeah, she said I should give him a chance." You sit up on the bed.
"So, will you?"
Amber scoots over and plops beside you.
"How can I, when... When I already have someone else on mind?" You grimace.
"You... Wait, who?!" Your room mate squawks.
"It's... Soo Jin." You bury your face in your hands.
"Soo-- What? You like Soo Jin?"
"No, I mean, yes, I like Soo Jin... like as a friend, but when she's morphed into Kyungsoo... Everything seems to amplify and I find myself falling for Kyungsoo." You groan.
"But... Technically, Kyungsoo is Soo Jin, isn't it?" Amber frowns.
"That's the problem."
"That... Is complicated." She moues.
You flop back on the bed with a grunt.
"Maybe, you've just been sticking to Soo Jin too much. It's weird. Just last week, everyone I know seems to be falling in love. But this week, the same people are swearing themselves off relationships ever again." She gripes.
"That must be the drug at work." You murmur with eyes shut.
"What drug?"
"Soo Jin told me when we were at the joint party, the horrible drink that was served was actually drugged, a mixture of behavior regulating hormones and pheromones. Makes people less aggressive and increases sexual attraction to the opposite sex." You explain plainly.
"So maybe your reaction to Soo Jin is just an effect of the drink?" She offers.
"Soo Jin said she didn't drink any. And I only took one sip, which isn't enough to warrant an effect. How I wish it was though, so at least I'll be able to explain this irrational behavior." You lament.
"But I drank it..." Amber is suddenly lost in her thoughts. "I was thinking how come Kris asked me out after so long... Could it be the drug at work then?"
You flick your eyes open.
"That cannot be, I mean, Kris and you are still going pretty steady right?" You offer.
"Y-Yeah... We didn't have the kind of quarrels the others had... But... " You can see that she is wavering. "I think I'll go take a shower."
As she disappears into the tiny bathroom, you groan.
Not only is your own life in a complete mess, now you have to go and mess up your best friend's too.
>>
Chapter 31