social anxiety and victim status and how it's all frighteningly tied up with sex in my brain

[doktor_katzchen]

Because it's five am and I'm not sure if I've explained my point as well as I hope, I want to disclaim here that I'm not saying all social anxiety or interpersonal interaction is about victimisation or victim status. I am saying that victim status is a pretty important deciding factor in how people behave, because whether or not you actively think

Comments

[ultrapeach]

That's quite interesting. Of course, I knew about the standards for victims victims (eg. who is going to be sympathised with at a rape trial) but I guess I hadn't thought of it clearly in terms of who is an ideal image of a woman. Well, I knew it's just too bad if you're a sex worker, 'slut' (in action or dress), didn't take exactly the right amount of action etc.etc. I guess I mean to say that this is well put together.

I was just thinking about my own experiences of unwanted attention, and I realise that while they can be highly creepy and uncomfortable, I don't feel like they're part of my social anxiety. Of course, I still feel frozen and have a hard time being firm. Often I've said 'Sorry, I have a boyfriend' whether or not I actually had one at the time (NEVER girlfriend, that would invite more creepy) because somehow an excuse works better than a simple 'no'. When it comes to people you know, that's tougher. -_- I haven't had anything like that in ages though, so I don't remember my feelings well.

[doktor_katzchen]

I'm pretty much talking about people I know, or people I've worked with. It doesn't really get my anxiety going when it's street harassment, unless there are no other people around, and then that's a much more straightforward "am I physically safe right now?" kind of anxiety, and if there's no prior connection between myself and the person

[anonymous]

Damn. The part about 'good' victims and 'bad' victims just makes so much painful sense to me. I also agree that in certain situations *simply speaking* makes you sound like you're the unreasonable one.

This has certainly become the experience for me as I get much more able to identify and much less willing to stay silent when awful societal prejudices are being aired in that commonly accepted, sociable way. I get this panic that I need to speak up, but I also know that if I do, I'll instantly be labelled the oversensitive, unreasonable, bitchy feminist who is easily dismissible because she's so goddamn sensitive.

*hugs* This world needs more insight into stuff like this. Thanks for sharing.