Super Junior, SHINee; Bandfic; Corruption, Confidentiality, Cuteness
Title: Corruption, Confidentiality, Cuteness
Fandom: Super Junior, SHINee
Pairing: Vague implied pairings
Word count: 2,089
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Heechul has a theory. No one else quite seems to get the theory. This may be because it involves a fifteen year old boy.
A/N: BECAUSE SHINEE ARE SHINY, AND I LOVE THEM :DDDD
This was written before my previous SuJu/SHINee crossover, but they are similar because… I am a failure!
The lessons that we can all take from this is that SM should never create any new boy bands ever, and I should never be allowed to write crack, ever.
Heechul has a theory; no one else quite seems to get the theory. Kangin just laughed at him when he told him at rehearsal, and Hankyung hadn’t understood him - he knew that Hankyung truly hadn’t understood him by the way he’d turned to Siwon and said, “Huh?” And Siwon had just shrugged because he hadn’t understood even though he spoke Korean.
He expected people to not understand, because people were stupid, but if people were just going to laugh at him, well, he wasn’t going to tell them his theory, and they could deal with the consequences when they happened. Heechul was fairly certain there was going to be consequences.
He didn’t see how there couldn’t be consequences when you were dealing with fifteen year old boys.
(“Okay, what the fuck,” he thinks. “That just sounded perverted.”)
***
His theory goes like this:
One Lee Taemin from newly popular boy band SHINee is his exact clone, but something went wrong with the process and so said boy is actually ten years too young.
***
Kibum laughs at his theory too, but admits that it is at least better than any of Donghae’s theories, and even goes so far to say that without the clone part, it would be plausible.
Heechul calls Kibum stupid, and alters his theory. Taemin, he decides, is either a previously unknown younger brother, or simply someone who looks like he would if he was fifteen instead of twenty five.
Kibum says it’s the second one, but Heechul doesn’t think that that is anywhere near as fun as the first two theories, and whines to Hankyung about Kibum spoiling his fun. Hankyung just blinks at him.
***
Heechul knocks and walks into SHINee’s dressing room without waiting for an answer - he can get away with this, because not only is he a hyung, he is also a sunbae, and so the boys should be falling over themselves to simply be in his presence, and certainly won’t be able to say anything about his manners, or apparent lack of thereof. Actually, on second thoughts, he shouldn’t be going there, they should be coming to him; it takes him a couple of moments to remember that none of the boys know about his theory and so wouldn’t have come to him anyway.
Five faces glance in his direction and turn confused.
“Um, hyung?” says Onew, glancing nervously in Minho’s direction, who looks as blank as ever. “I think you’ve got the wrong dressing room.”
Heechul snorts. “Please,” he says. “I know where my own dressing room is, it’s the one with the most amount of noise coming from it.”
“Then, um,” begins Key, and stops, and motions to Onew - clearly as leader, he should be the one to deal with this. Onew raises his eyebrows and shakes his head wildly. Key raises a fist - Jonghyun grabs it, and chooses to address the situation.
“Then why are you here, hyung?” he asks.
“I need to borrow Taemin for a bit,” says Heechul - or, more, trills - and Taemin’s expression turns terrified.
“Me, hyung?” he asks, and clutches his lyric sheet so hard that his knuckles turn white. Jonghyun notices and frantically motions to Key, who looks back at him with an expression of total confusion on his face.
“Yes,” says Heechul, and takes his wrist and begins to pull him from the room, causing three cries of discontent and one eyebrow raised in surprise from Minho. Heechul rolls his eyes. “I’m not going to hurt him,” he says. “I just want to talk to him about something.”
The boys don’t look in any way convinced. Taemin, in fact, looks as though he’s about to faint. “Yehsung,” murmurs Heechul. “Yehsung’s been talking about me.”
“No,” says Jonghyun, apparently before he can stop himself. “It was Donghae-hyung.”
“Oh, well, that’s okay then,” says Heechul, and flounces out the room, pulling one terrified dongsaeng after him.
***
Heechul sits Taemin at an empty seat in a spare dressing room, and looks at him carefully for a few minutes. He would have done it for longer, but he has a horrible feeling that Taemin will actually pass out from fear if he does so.
“Okay,” says Heechul. “I don’t care who’s been talking to you - although if it really is Yehsung, I will kill him - but I’m not actually going to bite you. Wait.” He pauses, thinks, and sighs. “That’s what I said to Siwon. What I mean is, I’m not here to intentionally hurt you, and have, in fact, a proposal to put to you.”
“Really, hyung?” asks Taemin, looking up at Heechul with wide, confused eyes. Heechul stares. He could take over the world looking like that. If Heechul’s theory is right - and it will be, because it’s Heechul’s theory - and Taemin grows up to look exactly like him, only cute, well. It gives Heechul a sadistic thrill just to think about it.
“I’m going to train you,” announces Heechul, in a dramatic way that falls slightly flat when there are only two of them in the room. He looks intently at Taemin, waiting for him to say something.
“Um,” says Taemin nervously. “Like, in dancing?”
Heechul snorts again. “Have you seen me dance?” he asks. “Like I’d have anything to teach you. No, I mean, I’m going to train you in the ways of the world.”
Taemin thinks for a second before his face lights up in understanding. “Is this like, sex?” he asks. “Because Onew-hyung already told me, after I walked into Key-hyung’s room and he was on his bed with Jonghyun-hyung and-”
Heechul looks a little disturbed. “What?” he asks. “No. What are you guys doing in your dorm?”
“I signed a confidentiality contract,” says Taemin brightly. “I’m not allowed to tell.”
“Anyway,” says Heechul, making a mental note to bring this up with the managers, because sixteen or eighteen or however old these boys are is too young for - oh, wait, Siwon again. He sighs. “Listen. I’m going to teach you how to be as fabulous as I am.”
Taemin thinks about this for a couple of moments and then breaks into a smile that utilizes his entire face and which makes Heechul’s chest ache in a really annoying way. He glares, to cancel out the cute. “Really, hyung?” gushes Taemin, and Heechul adds him onto the list of people who can get away with gushing (now two people, Taemin and Sungmin - he holds that Zhou Mi is too tall for it). “You really think I could do it?”
“Of course,” says Heechul, and resists the urge to pat him on the head. “You look like me. In the future, you could be me, only with mad dancing skills. You see? It’ll be awesome, and you’ll be popular, because you’ll have your own fans and my own fans when I’m long gone.”
“Gone where?” asks Taemin, frowning a little.
“Hall of Fame,” says Heechul airily. (“Here’s Kim Heechul,” Kangin had said when he’d heard of Heechul’s self-designed Hall of Fame. “Biggest prima donna bitch to ever join the company.”)
“Oh,” says Taemin, looking confused.
“Anyway,” drawls Heechul. “What do you say? A little training whenever we have free time, just to help you become a better performer?”
Taemin breaks into that smile again, and Heechul grits his teeth and fights against the urge to throw himself at the boy and hug him to his chest tightly. “Really, hyung?” he says again, still in that happy, gushing tone. “I’d love that!”
“Yeah,” says Heechul absently, pats him on the head, and then shoos him from the room, before sitting carefully down and trying to remind himself of all the reasons he’s ever come up with as to why he doesn’t want children.
***
“Taeminnie!” yells Key, the second said boy re-enters their dressing room. “Where were you, we were so worried!”
“Talking to Heechul-hyung,” says Taemin.
“Well, yes,” says Jonghyun. “What we mean is, what were you talking about?”
“After the stories we’ve heard about him, we were worried about what you two were getting up to,” says Onew, hugging Taemin.
Minho nods.
“Heechul-hyung’s going to train me,” says Taemin brightly.
His band mates exchange surprised looks, and then Jonghyun says, cautiously, “You mean, like in singing?”
“I don’t know,” admits Taemin. “Possibly. But not dancing.”
“Duh,” says Key under his breath.
“He’s going to teach me how to be exactly like him!” says Taemin happily.
Onew and Key shriek in fear, and both clutch at Jonghyun, who doesn’t notice because he is too busy opening his mouth and then closing it consecutively like a fish, lost for words for the first time in his entire life. Minho actually makes a noise. It sounds like someone just kicked a puppy.
Taemin thinks that they maybe know something that he doesn’t.
***
“Hyung,” says Onew quietly to Eeteuk. “Can we talk to you?”
Eeteuk looks at the five boys who have gathered around him; Taemin is being shielded from the view of anyone else in the room by Minho, while Key and Jonghyun keep guard and Onew looks pleadingly up at him. Eeteuk feels himself going all soft at the sight.
“Of course,” he says kindly, because Onew is a fellow leader, and they have to stick together, because no one is ever aware of how difficult that job is, what with over sexed members and violent dongsaengs.
“It’s about Taemin,” says Onew.
“Yeah?” says Eeteuk, glancing at the boy, who seems perfectly alright.
“Heechul-hyung says that he’s going to train him.”
Now that gets Eeteuk’s attention. “How so, train him?” he asks. “Heechul can’t actually do anything.”
“He says that he’s going turn him into him,” says Onew.
Eeteuk practically falls off his chair. “What?” he says hoarsely, and Onew nods at him.
“Do something about it, hyung, please,” says Jonghyun, holding Taemin’s head to his chest while Taemin blinks, confused.
“Heechul!” Eeteuk yells over to where he is sitting. “Are you trying to corrupt the poor, innocent minds of our youthful counterparts?”
“Of course I am!” Heechul yells back. “Why else would I be hanging around young boys? I’m not a paedophile. I’m not Ryeowook.”
“Hyung!” Ryeowook yelps, and sends a terrified glance towards Henry, who hadn’t understood and just continues tapping his violin bow against his knee.
“Well, STOP IT,” yells Eeteuk, and folds his arms firmly, and Onew makes the wish that at some point, he will be able to wield the power that Eeteuk manages to wield; most of Eeteuk’s power is Kangin, who proceeds to make fun of Heechul for hanging around barely legal boys and manages to convince Heechul that the whole thing is a bad idea without Eeteuk having to get his hands dirty. Perhaps I can train Minho, Onew thinks.
“Sorry about that, Taemin,” says Eeteuk.
“That’s okay, hyung,” says Taemin, blinking a little more. “I was quite looking forward to it, but if you think it’s a bad idea, then I should probably trust your instincts.”
“Isn’t he such a good dongsaeng?” squeals Key, grabbing Taemin around the waist.
“Look at his smile, it’s adorable,” says Jonghyun, pinching Taemin’s cheek.
Minho ruffles his hair.
“Come on, Taeminnie,” trills Onew, tugging on his wrist. “You still have to go for make-up so you can go be cool and awesome on stage!”
SHINee leave the dressing room, three of them holding on tightly to their magnae, and everyone lets out a sigh of relief at the fact that nothing was broken this time, and that no one mentioned Sohee.
“They’re cute,” says Henry, who has never met them before, “but ever so slightly weird.”
“English!” shouts Donghae happily, and jumps on him enthusiastically.
“So cute!” squeals Ryeowook and Sungmin simultaneously, and Ryeowook hugs his head and Sungmin hugs his waist.
“English again!” demands Eunhyuk. “ENGLISH AGAIN.”
Henry disappears under a flailing mass of limbs that agrees with the demand that he speaks English (Yehsung and Kangin), insists that he plays the violin some more (Eeteuk and Shindong) and more exclamations of how cute he is (Siwon). Zhou Mi is sat on Kyuhyun’s lap in the corner, and it is unlikely that they hear anything going on around them, because they don’t seem to need the ability to breathe, never mind hear. Over the top of it all, Heechul shouts, “YO MOTHERFATHER.”
“Please,” says Hankyung, with a desperate look towards their manager. “Tell me you won’t add a Chinese trainee into SHINee; no one ever need go through what I go through.”
Fandom: Super Junior, SHINee
Pairing: Vague implied pairings
Word count: 2,089
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Heechul has a theory. No one else quite seems to get the theory. This may be because it involves a fifteen year old boy.
A/N: BECAUSE SHINEE ARE SHINY, AND I LOVE THEM :DDDD
This was written before my previous SuJu/SHINee crossover, but they are similar because… I am a failure!
The lessons that we can all take from this is that SM should never create any new boy bands ever, and I should never be allowed to write crack, ever.
Heechul has a theory; no one else quite seems to get the theory. Kangin just laughed at him when he told him at rehearsal, and Hankyung hadn’t understood him - he knew that Hankyung truly hadn’t understood him by the way he’d turned to Siwon and said, “Huh?” And Siwon had just shrugged because he hadn’t understood even though he spoke Korean.
He expected people to not understand, because people were stupid, but if people were just going to laugh at him, well, he wasn’t going to tell them his theory, and they could deal with the consequences when they happened. Heechul was fairly certain there was going to be consequences.
He didn’t see how there couldn’t be consequences when you were dealing with fifteen year old boys.
(“Okay, what the fuck,” he thinks. “That just sounded perverted.”)
***
His theory goes like this:
One Lee Taemin from newly popular boy band SHINee is his exact clone, but something went wrong with the process and so said boy is actually ten years too young.
***
Kibum laughs at his theory too, but admits that it is at least better than any of Donghae’s theories, and even goes so far to say that without the clone part, it would be plausible.
Heechul calls Kibum stupid, and alters his theory. Taemin, he decides, is either a previously unknown younger brother, or simply someone who looks like he would if he was fifteen instead of twenty five.
Kibum says it’s the second one, but Heechul doesn’t think that that is anywhere near as fun as the first two theories, and whines to Hankyung about Kibum spoiling his fun. Hankyung just blinks at him.
***
Heechul knocks and walks into SHINee’s dressing room without waiting for an answer - he can get away with this, because not only is he a hyung, he is also a sunbae, and so the boys should be falling over themselves to simply be in his presence, and certainly won’t be able to say anything about his manners, or apparent lack of thereof. Actually, on second thoughts, he shouldn’t be going there, they should be coming to him; it takes him a couple of moments to remember that none of the boys know about his theory and so wouldn’t have come to him anyway.
Five faces glance in his direction and turn confused.
“Um, hyung?” says Onew, glancing nervously in Minho’s direction, who looks as blank as ever. “I think you’ve got the wrong dressing room.”
Heechul snorts. “Please,” he says. “I know where my own dressing room is, it’s the one with the most amount of noise coming from it.”
“Then, um,” begins Key, and stops, and motions to Onew - clearly as leader, he should be the one to deal with this. Onew raises his eyebrows and shakes his head wildly. Key raises a fist - Jonghyun grabs it, and chooses to address the situation.
“Then why are you here, hyung?” he asks.
“I need to borrow Taemin for a bit,” says Heechul - or, more, trills - and Taemin’s expression turns terrified.
“Me, hyung?” he asks, and clutches his lyric sheet so hard that his knuckles turn white. Jonghyun notices and frantically motions to Key, who looks back at him with an expression of total confusion on his face.
“Yes,” says Heechul, and takes his wrist and begins to pull him from the room, causing three cries of discontent and one eyebrow raised in surprise from Minho. Heechul rolls his eyes. “I’m not going to hurt him,” he says. “I just want to talk to him about something.”
The boys don’t look in any way convinced. Taemin, in fact, looks as though he’s about to faint. “Yehsung,” murmurs Heechul. “Yehsung’s been talking about me.”
“No,” says Jonghyun, apparently before he can stop himself. “It was Donghae-hyung.”
“Oh, well, that’s okay then,” says Heechul, and flounces out the room, pulling one terrified dongsaeng after him.
***
Heechul sits Taemin at an empty seat in a spare dressing room, and looks at him carefully for a few minutes. He would have done it for longer, but he has a horrible feeling that Taemin will actually pass out from fear if he does so.
“Okay,” says Heechul. “I don’t care who’s been talking to you - although if it really is Yehsung, I will kill him - but I’m not actually going to bite you. Wait.” He pauses, thinks, and sighs. “That’s what I said to Siwon. What I mean is, I’m not here to intentionally hurt you, and have, in fact, a proposal to put to you.”
“Really, hyung?” asks Taemin, looking up at Heechul with wide, confused eyes. Heechul stares. He could take over the world looking like that. If Heechul’s theory is right - and it will be, because it’s Heechul’s theory - and Taemin grows up to look exactly like him, only cute, well. It gives Heechul a sadistic thrill just to think about it.
“I’m going to train you,” announces Heechul, in a dramatic way that falls slightly flat when there are only two of them in the room. He looks intently at Taemin, waiting for him to say something.
“Um,” says Taemin nervously. “Like, in dancing?”
Heechul snorts again. “Have you seen me dance?” he asks. “Like I’d have anything to teach you. No, I mean, I’m going to train you in the ways of the world.”
Taemin thinks for a second before his face lights up in understanding. “Is this like, sex?” he asks. “Because Onew-hyung already told me, after I walked into Key-hyung’s room and he was on his bed with Jonghyun-hyung and-”
Heechul looks a little disturbed. “What?” he asks. “No. What are you guys doing in your dorm?”
“I signed a confidentiality contract,” says Taemin brightly. “I’m not allowed to tell.”
“Anyway,” says Heechul, making a mental note to bring this up with the managers, because sixteen or eighteen or however old these boys are is too young for - oh, wait, Siwon again. He sighs. “Listen. I’m going to teach you how to be as fabulous as I am.”
Taemin thinks about this for a couple of moments and then breaks into a smile that utilizes his entire face and which makes Heechul’s chest ache in a really annoying way. He glares, to cancel out the cute. “Really, hyung?” gushes Taemin, and Heechul adds him onto the list of people who can get away with gushing (now two people, Taemin and Sungmin - he holds that Zhou Mi is too tall for it). “You really think I could do it?”
“Of course,” says Heechul, and resists the urge to pat him on the head. “You look like me. In the future, you could be me, only with mad dancing skills. You see? It’ll be awesome, and you’ll be popular, because you’ll have your own fans and my own fans when I’m long gone.”
“Gone where?” asks Taemin, frowning a little.
“Hall of Fame,” says Heechul airily. (“Here’s Kim Heechul,” Kangin had said when he’d heard of Heechul’s self-designed Hall of Fame. “Biggest prima donna bitch to ever join the company.”)
“Oh,” says Taemin, looking confused.
“Anyway,” drawls Heechul. “What do you say? A little training whenever we have free time, just to help you become a better performer?”
Taemin breaks into that smile again, and Heechul grits his teeth and fights against the urge to throw himself at the boy and hug him to his chest tightly. “Really, hyung?” he says again, still in that happy, gushing tone. “I’d love that!”
“Yeah,” says Heechul absently, pats him on the head, and then shoos him from the room, before sitting carefully down and trying to remind himself of all the reasons he’s ever come up with as to why he doesn’t want children.
***
“Taeminnie!” yells Key, the second said boy re-enters their dressing room. “Where were you, we were so worried!”
“Talking to Heechul-hyung,” says Taemin.
“Well, yes,” says Jonghyun. “What we mean is, what were you talking about?”
“After the stories we’ve heard about him, we were worried about what you two were getting up to,” says Onew, hugging Taemin.
Minho nods.
“Heechul-hyung’s going to train me,” says Taemin brightly.
His band mates exchange surprised looks, and then Jonghyun says, cautiously, “You mean, like in singing?”
“I don’t know,” admits Taemin. “Possibly. But not dancing.”
“Duh,” says Key under his breath.
“He’s going to teach me how to be exactly like him!” says Taemin happily.
Onew and Key shriek in fear, and both clutch at Jonghyun, who doesn’t notice because he is too busy opening his mouth and then closing it consecutively like a fish, lost for words for the first time in his entire life. Minho actually makes a noise. It sounds like someone just kicked a puppy.
Taemin thinks that they maybe know something that he doesn’t.
***
“Hyung,” says Onew quietly to Eeteuk. “Can we talk to you?”
Eeteuk looks at the five boys who have gathered around him; Taemin is being shielded from the view of anyone else in the room by Minho, while Key and Jonghyun keep guard and Onew looks pleadingly up at him. Eeteuk feels himself going all soft at the sight.
“Of course,” he says kindly, because Onew is a fellow leader, and they have to stick together, because no one is ever aware of how difficult that job is, what with over sexed members and violent dongsaengs.
“It’s about Taemin,” says Onew.
“Yeah?” says Eeteuk, glancing at the boy, who seems perfectly alright.
“Heechul-hyung says that he’s going to train him.”
Now that gets Eeteuk’s attention. “How so, train him?” he asks. “Heechul can’t actually do anything.”
“He says that he’s going turn him into him,” says Onew.
Eeteuk practically falls off his chair. “What?” he says hoarsely, and Onew nods at him.
“Do something about it, hyung, please,” says Jonghyun, holding Taemin’s head to his chest while Taemin blinks, confused.
“Heechul!” Eeteuk yells over to where he is sitting. “Are you trying to corrupt the poor, innocent minds of our youthful counterparts?”
“Of course I am!” Heechul yells back. “Why else would I be hanging around young boys? I’m not a paedophile. I’m not Ryeowook.”
“Hyung!” Ryeowook yelps, and sends a terrified glance towards Henry, who hadn’t understood and just continues tapping his violin bow against his knee.
“Well, STOP IT,” yells Eeteuk, and folds his arms firmly, and Onew makes the wish that at some point, he will be able to wield the power that Eeteuk manages to wield; most of Eeteuk’s power is Kangin, who proceeds to make fun of Heechul for hanging around barely legal boys and manages to convince Heechul that the whole thing is a bad idea without Eeteuk having to get his hands dirty. Perhaps I can train Minho, Onew thinks.
“Sorry about that, Taemin,” says Eeteuk.
“That’s okay, hyung,” says Taemin, blinking a little more. “I was quite looking forward to it, but if you think it’s a bad idea, then I should probably trust your instincts.”
“Isn’t he such a good dongsaeng?” squeals Key, grabbing Taemin around the waist.
“Look at his smile, it’s adorable,” says Jonghyun, pinching Taemin’s cheek.
Minho ruffles his hair.
“Come on, Taeminnie,” trills Onew, tugging on his wrist. “You still have to go for make-up so you can go be cool and awesome on stage!”
SHINee leave the dressing room, three of them holding on tightly to their magnae, and everyone lets out a sigh of relief at the fact that nothing was broken this time, and that no one mentioned Sohee.
“They’re cute,” says Henry, who has never met them before, “but ever so slightly weird.”
“English!” shouts Donghae happily, and jumps on him enthusiastically.
“So cute!” squeals Ryeowook and Sungmin simultaneously, and Ryeowook hugs his head and Sungmin hugs his waist.
“English again!” demands Eunhyuk. “ENGLISH AGAIN.”
Henry disappears under a flailing mass of limbs that agrees with the demand that he speaks English (Yehsung and Kangin), insists that he plays the violin some more (Eeteuk and Shindong) and more exclamations of how cute he is (Siwon). Zhou Mi is sat on Kyuhyun’s lap in the corner, and it is unlikely that they hear anything going on around them, because they don’t seem to need the ability to breathe, never mind hear. Over the top of it all, Heechul shouts, “YO MOTHERFATHER.”
“Please,” says Hankyung, with a desperate look towards their manager. “Tell me you won’t add a Chinese trainee into SHINee; no one ever need go through what I go through.”