Super Junior; Eunhae; Donghae's Top 5 Methods of Seduction
Title: Donghae's Top 5 Methods of Seduction
Fandom: Super Junior
Pairing: Eunhyuk/Donghae, other pairings implied.
Word count: 1,889
Rating: PG-13
Summary: "And he likes someone," continued Donghae. "He really likes this person, but this person has never realised. And so he went to his friends to ask what he should do, and nothing worked."
A/N: I bet you all weren't expecting something like this! For shmegzo! ♥ ♥ ♥! Happy Birthday!
Donghae's Top 5 Methods of Seduction
As Suggested by Super Junior Members
1 - Try quoting "Romeo and Juliet" to create a romantic atmosphere - Kibum, on the sofa, one day as he read, offhandedly and not really listening too much.
"Romeo, oh Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?" Donghae bellowed as he jumped on top of the kitchen table, with a bright blue duvet fastened around his neck in lieu of an actual cape, and brandishing a plastic sword that he'd managed to dig up from the back of his wardrobe.
The shock from witnessing such a strange event made Eunhyuk jerk back and lost the precarious balance he had achieved after minutes of holding onto the table edge while he leant back on two legs. He fell backwards with a yell, and the back of his head connected with the hard, unyielding granite worktop of the kitchen unit. After he'd finished screaming - which took a while - he sat up and blinked at Donghae through confused, wet eyes, an angry frown on his face. Donghae straightened his back and swallowed hard.
"What," ground out Eunhyuk, "do you think you are doing?"
"Let lips do what saints do, they pray, grant thou," replied Donghae, and waggled his eyebrows.
Eunhyuk stood up slowly after a full minute of staring, and took a desperate step towards the kitchen door, as if he thought Donghae would attempt to stop him. "You're mad," he said, but Donghae didn't take it personally.
"What's in a name?" he asked, a hand pressed over his heart. "That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."
"I honestly don't know what you're on about," said Eunhyuk, his hand now on the door handle. "Is that Shakespeare?"
"Let Rome in the Tiber melt and the wide arch of the Empire fall. Here is my space!" Donghae announced, and then suddenly remembered that that wasn't "Romeo and Juliet".
"I don't understand you," said Eunhyuk, and Donghae thought that he might be referring to something other than the random quotations, and he slammed the door shut after him.
Donghae stood on the table, alone in the room, and after a couple of minutes, Eeteuk shouted; "Lee Donghae! Get off the kitchen table!" Donghae slid off and dropped his sword in a theatrical manner that he'd learnt from Heechul.
"What," he said miserably, "drunk all and left no friendly drop to help me after?" And he walked out of the room with his duvet trailing behind him like the train off a wedding dress; albeit a very bright wedding dress.
("Shakespeare doesn't work in real life," said Donghae to Kibum, and scratched it off the list.
Kibum hid his laughter behind "The Comedy of Errors".)
2 - Light some candles and play some soft music to create a "mood" - Eeteuk, at Sukira, believing that he was doing the right thing as leader.
"What are you doing?" Eunhyuk asked, as he groped around in the darkness, and found Donghae’s head at around waist level, which wasn’t particularly where it was supposed to be, though certain people could beg to differ. "Why are you sitting in the dark?" Eunhyuk reflected that these sorts of things really shouldn't shock him any more.
"I was going to light some candles," said Donghae, and he sounded miserable, but then Eunhyuk couldn't see his face, so he couldn't be sure.
"Why haven't you then?" Eunhyuk asked, though the more pressing question was and why would you do that?
"I can't see what I'm doing," said Donghae.
"Switch the light on and do it then," suggested Eunhyuk.
"I got lost," wailed Donghae, and threw his arms around Eunhyuk's waist, the side of his face pressed uncomfortably to the base of his stomach. "It's dark and I'm scared!”
Eunhyuk threw him off with an exasperated and annoyed yell, waited until he could be certain that he was no longer blushing, and then switched the light on, the switch having been right near his right hand. Donghae, blinking in the sudden brightness, was sat in the middle of the floor, in front of candles of varying degrees of height.
"Why were you trying to light candles?" Eunhyuk asked, after staring for a few minutes, Donghae blinking back innocently, and finally coming to the conclusion that he wasn't going to get an answer just by looking.
"I was going to create a mood," said Donghae brightly, and then his smile faded as Eunhyuk stared some more. "Eeteuk said it would be a good idea," he explained, slightly disheartened.
"Right," said Eunhyuk, and walked out of the room, leaving Donghae alone with his candles of varying degrees of height.
("Eunhyuk said that you gave Donghae candles," said Kangin later that night. "Why would you do that?"
"I was just trying to help," said Eeteuk with a pout.)
3 - Get him drunk and have your way with him - Heechul, backstage, thinking that the whole thing is hilarious as long as he doesn't actually see anything.
"You're really weird," said Eunhyuk with a giggle, and slid halfway off his chair before Donghae managed to catch him, pulling him upright until he could slump forward onto the kitchen table, tipping his head to the side to stare at the apparently weird Donghae.
"Okay," said Donghae brightly, and opened another bottle of beer and placed it on to the table in front of Eunhyuk, who pulled it to his lips and sipped at it.
"Really weird," mumbled Eunhyuk. "Like that thing with the candles. What were you trying to achieve with that anyway?"
"If I told you I'd have to kill you," said Donghae with a grin.
"Freak," muttered Eunhyuk.
"I could be if you want," said Donghae, leaning in close, his grin changing into a seductive smile; or, at least, what he hoped was a seductive smile. Eunhyuk blinked at him, but Donghae was rather pleased to notice that he didn't pull away. "I'll be anything you want."
"You're really weird," said Eunhyuk, and grinned at him, eyes crinkling in a way that made Donghae's pulse race. "But that's okay, I like that about you." Donghae beamed at him; it felt nice to hear Eunhyuk say that there was something that he liked about him, considering mostly when Eunhyuk said you're weird he meant it. Judging by how things were going, Heechul's idea could possibly work. That was something Donghae never thought he'd live to experience.
"I like you too, Hyukkie," said Donghae, with fingers curling around Eunhyuk's shoulder and pulling him against his side, where Eunhyuk slumped and laughed. His eyes scrunched up, smile wide in the harsh lighting of the kitchen, and Donghae swallowed and leant forward a little, heart pounding along with the finally that his mind was repeating over and over again.
"I'm tired," Eunhyuk said, and pitched forward, put his head on the table and went to sleep.
Donghae stared at him for three minutes straight, pinched himself in case it was all just a horrible nightmare and then screamed. Eunhyuk mumbled something in his sleep, drunken words bubbling unbidden from his lips happily. "I love you!" he said, and reached out and pulled Donghae's head to his chest, all in his sleep.
"Yeah, I know," Donghae said miserably.
("Oh my god, hyung," he said to Heechul, who just raised an eyebrow at him. "That did not work, I am never talking to you ever again."
"Some people are just never happy," said Heechul haughtily.
"Wait," said Hankyung, muting the television. "Did you take advice from Heechul? Why would you do that, Donghae? Why?")
4 - Try seduction in another language - Hankyung, soon after finding out about what Heechul advised, thinking that the world was still coming up with new and interesting ways to shock him.
"Eunhyuk," Donghae said seriously.
"Donghae," said Eunhyuk, clearly making fun of him. Donghae pouted.
"Don't make fun of me," he said.
"But it's so easy," said Eunhyuk, and this really wasn't going the way Donghae had wanted, so he frowned, folded his arms and tried to think back to what he'd read in his phrase book.
"I think you are handsome," he tried.
"Is that English?" Eunhyuk brightened up slightly. "What did you say?"
"Don't interrupt," Donghae said in Korean, and then struggled onwards. "I like you, and I think you might like me too. Would you like to go out?"
"What does it mean?" Eunhyuk asked petulantly. "I don't understand, what does it mean?"
"Okay, you know what?" Donghae threw his arms in the air. "Forget it!"
"No," said Eunhyuk. "Try again. I'll try to listen."
"Love, love, love," Donghae said.
"Epik High," said Eunhyuk, and smiled widely. "Is this a game? Do I have to guess what the song is?"
"I hate you," said Donghae in English.
"Wow," Henry said as he went past the door. "Your accent is terrible. I can help you with that, if you want."
"I hate my life," Donghae said, and flopped face down onto the sofa, intent on killing himself by suffocation.
("I think that your advice only works with Chinese and Siwon-hyung," Donghae said, a little bitterly, to Hankyung.
"I knew something was going on in China," said Heechul darkly. Donghae left the room fairly quickly.)
5 - Oh, I don't know! Why don't you just kiss him? - Kyuhyun, in his room with Zhou Mi, slightly distracted and trying to get Donghae to leave as quickly as possible.
"I have a friend," said Donghae.
"Yeah?" said Eunhyuk, tapping away at the control of the video game he was playing.
"And he likes someone," continued Donghae. "He really likes this person, but this person has never realised. And so he went to his friends to ask what he should do, and nothing worked."
"That sucks," said Eunhyuk.
"And so one of them told him to do something that he isn't too sure is a good idea."
"What did the friend suggest?" asked Eunhyuk, glancing towards Donghae every so often to show that he was listening.
"That he try kissing that person," said Donghae, a little nervously. "What do you think?"
"If he really likes them, then he should," said Eunhyuk. "Because he will never know otherwise, right?"
"Oh," said Donghae. "Okay," and he sat down, pushed the controller from Eunhyuk's hand, and kissed him hard, fisting his hands in the material of his shirt at the shoulders. Eunhyuk made a squeaking noise. From that sound, he hadn't really been expecting anything like that. It took him a second, as if he was trying to work out what was going on, and then he kissed back with a moan. Donghae pulled back; Eunhyuk stared at him.
"What do you mean?" he asked incredulously, after a minute or so of silence. "You haven't been trying anything! I'd have noticed!"
"Oh my god," said Donghae. "Why do people think I'm the stupid one?"
"No," said Eunhyuk insistantely. "I'm not that dense, I'd have noticed."
"Shut up," said Donghae, and kissed him.
("Thank you, Kyuhyun! It worked!" Donghae shouted through the closed bedroom door.
"That's okay, hyung!" Kyuhyun shouted back, and turned to Zhou Mi. "I have no idea what he's talking about."
"Shouldn't you find out?" Zhou Mi said, struggling to sit up. "I mean, what if he's trying to cook or something?"
"Later," said Kyuhyun, and pushed him back down.)
Fandom: Super Junior
Pairing: Eunhyuk/Donghae, other pairings implied.
Word count: 1,889
Rating: PG-13
Summary: "And he likes someone," continued Donghae. "He really likes this person, but this person has never realised. And so he went to his friends to ask what he should do, and nothing worked."
A/N: I bet you all weren't expecting something like this! For shmegzo! ♥ ♥ ♥! Happy Birthday!
Donghae's Top 5 Methods of Seduction
As Suggested by Super Junior Members
1 - Try quoting "Romeo and Juliet" to create a romantic atmosphere - Kibum, on the sofa, one day as he read, offhandedly and not really listening too much.
"Romeo, oh Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?" Donghae bellowed as he jumped on top of the kitchen table, with a bright blue duvet fastened around his neck in lieu of an actual cape, and brandishing a plastic sword that he'd managed to dig up from the back of his wardrobe.
The shock from witnessing such a strange event made Eunhyuk jerk back and lost the precarious balance he had achieved after minutes of holding onto the table edge while he leant back on two legs. He fell backwards with a yell, and the back of his head connected with the hard, unyielding granite worktop of the kitchen unit. After he'd finished screaming - which took a while - he sat up and blinked at Donghae through confused, wet eyes, an angry frown on his face. Donghae straightened his back and swallowed hard.
"What," ground out Eunhyuk, "do you think you are doing?"
"Let lips do what saints do, they pray, grant thou," replied Donghae, and waggled his eyebrows.
Eunhyuk stood up slowly after a full minute of staring, and took a desperate step towards the kitchen door, as if he thought Donghae would attempt to stop him. "You're mad," he said, but Donghae didn't take it personally.
"What's in a name?" he asked, a hand pressed over his heart. "That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."
"I honestly don't know what you're on about," said Eunhyuk, his hand now on the door handle. "Is that Shakespeare?"
"Let Rome in the Tiber melt and the wide arch of the Empire fall. Here is my space!" Donghae announced, and then suddenly remembered that that wasn't "Romeo and Juliet".
"I don't understand you," said Eunhyuk, and Donghae thought that he might be referring to something other than the random quotations, and he slammed the door shut after him.
Donghae stood on the table, alone in the room, and after a couple of minutes, Eeteuk shouted; "Lee Donghae! Get off the kitchen table!" Donghae slid off and dropped his sword in a theatrical manner that he'd learnt from Heechul.
"What," he said miserably, "drunk all and left no friendly drop to help me after?" And he walked out of the room with his duvet trailing behind him like the train off a wedding dress; albeit a very bright wedding dress.
("Shakespeare doesn't work in real life," said Donghae to Kibum, and scratched it off the list.
Kibum hid his laughter behind "The Comedy of Errors".)
2 - Light some candles and play some soft music to create a "mood" - Eeteuk, at Sukira, believing that he was doing the right thing as leader.
"What are you doing?" Eunhyuk asked, as he groped around in the darkness, and found Donghae’s head at around waist level, which wasn’t particularly where it was supposed to be, though certain people could beg to differ. "Why are you sitting in the dark?" Eunhyuk reflected that these sorts of things really shouldn't shock him any more.
"I was going to light some candles," said Donghae, and he sounded miserable, but then Eunhyuk couldn't see his face, so he couldn't be sure.
"Why haven't you then?" Eunhyuk asked, though the more pressing question was and why would you do that?
"I can't see what I'm doing," said Donghae.
"Switch the light on and do it then," suggested Eunhyuk.
"I got lost," wailed Donghae, and threw his arms around Eunhyuk's waist, the side of his face pressed uncomfortably to the base of his stomach. "It's dark and I'm scared!”
Eunhyuk threw him off with an exasperated and annoyed yell, waited until he could be certain that he was no longer blushing, and then switched the light on, the switch having been right near his right hand. Donghae, blinking in the sudden brightness, was sat in the middle of the floor, in front of candles of varying degrees of height.
"Why were you trying to light candles?" Eunhyuk asked, after staring for a few minutes, Donghae blinking back innocently, and finally coming to the conclusion that he wasn't going to get an answer just by looking.
"I was going to create a mood," said Donghae brightly, and then his smile faded as Eunhyuk stared some more. "Eeteuk said it would be a good idea," he explained, slightly disheartened.
"Right," said Eunhyuk, and walked out of the room, leaving Donghae alone with his candles of varying degrees of height.
("Eunhyuk said that you gave Donghae candles," said Kangin later that night. "Why would you do that?"
"I was just trying to help," said Eeteuk with a pout.)
3 - Get him drunk and have your way with him - Heechul, backstage, thinking that the whole thing is hilarious as long as he doesn't actually see anything.
"You're really weird," said Eunhyuk with a giggle, and slid halfway off his chair before Donghae managed to catch him, pulling him upright until he could slump forward onto the kitchen table, tipping his head to the side to stare at the apparently weird Donghae.
"Okay," said Donghae brightly, and opened another bottle of beer and placed it on to the table in front of Eunhyuk, who pulled it to his lips and sipped at it.
"Really weird," mumbled Eunhyuk. "Like that thing with the candles. What were you trying to achieve with that anyway?"
"If I told you I'd have to kill you," said Donghae with a grin.
"Freak," muttered Eunhyuk.
"I could be if you want," said Donghae, leaning in close, his grin changing into a seductive smile; or, at least, what he hoped was a seductive smile. Eunhyuk blinked at him, but Donghae was rather pleased to notice that he didn't pull away. "I'll be anything you want."
"You're really weird," said Eunhyuk, and grinned at him, eyes crinkling in a way that made Donghae's pulse race. "But that's okay, I like that about you." Donghae beamed at him; it felt nice to hear Eunhyuk say that there was something that he liked about him, considering mostly when Eunhyuk said you're weird he meant it. Judging by how things were going, Heechul's idea could possibly work. That was something Donghae never thought he'd live to experience.
"I like you too, Hyukkie," said Donghae, with fingers curling around Eunhyuk's shoulder and pulling him against his side, where Eunhyuk slumped and laughed. His eyes scrunched up, smile wide in the harsh lighting of the kitchen, and Donghae swallowed and leant forward a little, heart pounding along with the finally that his mind was repeating over and over again.
"I'm tired," Eunhyuk said, and pitched forward, put his head on the table and went to sleep.
Donghae stared at him for three minutes straight, pinched himself in case it was all just a horrible nightmare and then screamed. Eunhyuk mumbled something in his sleep, drunken words bubbling unbidden from his lips happily. "I love you!" he said, and reached out and pulled Donghae's head to his chest, all in his sleep.
"Yeah, I know," Donghae said miserably.
("Oh my god, hyung," he said to Heechul, who just raised an eyebrow at him. "That did not work, I am never talking to you ever again."
"Some people are just never happy," said Heechul haughtily.
"Wait," said Hankyung, muting the television. "Did you take advice from Heechul? Why would you do that, Donghae? Why?")
4 - Try seduction in another language - Hankyung, soon after finding out about what Heechul advised, thinking that the world was still coming up with new and interesting ways to shock him.
"Eunhyuk," Donghae said seriously.
"Donghae," said Eunhyuk, clearly making fun of him. Donghae pouted.
"Don't make fun of me," he said.
"But it's so easy," said Eunhyuk, and this really wasn't going the way Donghae had wanted, so he frowned, folded his arms and tried to think back to what he'd read in his phrase book.
"I think you are handsome," he tried.
"Is that English?" Eunhyuk brightened up slightly. "What did you say?"
"Don't interrupt," Donghae said in Korean, and then struggled onwards. "I like you, and I think you might like me too. Would you like to go out?"
"What does it mean?" Eunhyuk asked petulantly. "I don't understand, what does it mean?"
"Okay, you know what?" Donghae threw his arms in the air. "Forget it!"
"No," said Eunhyuk. "Try again. I'll try to listen."
"Love, love, love," Donghae said.
"Epik High," said Eunhyuk, and smiled widely. "Is this a game? Do I have to guess what the song is?"
"I hate you," said Donghae in English.
"Wow," Henry said as he went past the door. "Your accent is terrible. I can help you with that, if you want."
"I hate my life," Donghae said, and flopped face down onto the sofa, intent on killing himself by suffocation.
("I think that your advice only works with Chinese and Siwon-hyung," Donghae said, a little bitterly, to Hankyung.
"I knew something was going on in China," said Heechul darkly. Donghae left the room fairly quickly.)
5 - Oh, I don't know! Why don't you just kiss him? - Kyuhyun, in his room with Zhou Mi, slightly distracted and trying to get Donghae to leave as quickly as possible.
"I have a friend," said Donghae.
"Yeah?" said Eunhyuk, tapping away at the control of the video game he was playing.
"And he likes someone," continued Donghae. "He really likes this person, but this person has never realised. And so he went to his friends to ask what he should do, and nothing worked."
"That sucks," said Eunhyuk.
"And so one of them told him to do something that he isn't too sure is a good idea."
"What did the friend suggest?" asked Eunhyuk, glancing towards Donghae every so often to show that he was listening.
"That he try kissing that person," said Donghae, a little nervously. "What do you think?"
"If he really likes them, then he should," said Eunhyuk. "Because he will never know otherwise, right?"
"Oh," said Donghae. "Okay," and he sat down, pushed the controller from Eunhyuk's hand, and kissed him hard, fisting his hands in the material of his shirt at the shoulders. Eunhyuk made a squeaking noise. From that sound, he hadn't really been expecting anything like that. It took him a second, as if he was trying to work out what was going on, and then he kissed back with a moan. Donghae pulled back; Eunhyuk stared at him.
"What do you mean?" he asked incredulously, after a minute or so of silence. "You haven't been trying anything! I'd have noticed!"
"Oh my god," said Donghae. "Why do people think I'm the stupid one?"
"No," said Eunhyuk insistantely. "I'm not that dense, I'd have noticed."
"Shut up," said Donghae, and kissed him.
("Thank you, Kyuhyun! It worked!" Donghae shouted through the closed bedroom door.
"That's okay, hyung!" Kyuhyun shouted back, and turned to Zhou Mi. "I have no idea what he's talking about."
"Shouldn't you find out?" Zhou Mi said, struggling to sit up. "I mean, what if he's trying to cook or something?"
"Later," said Kyuhyun, and pushed him back down.)