OMG is really pregs?
so to celebrate Paige's 18th birthday we go out to a late night movie, since it was break (yayy) and we had nothing else to do. Due to the infuriatingly rise of concession prices at theaters we go to Kroger's to go get some snacks. I wasn't feeling well and I spy a 2 liter bottle of ginger ale, hoping it will make me feel better. Since that was the only size of ginger ale they were selling, I buy it. But as you know theaters don't allow outside food and drink into the theater so what do I do? I put the 2 liter between me and my belt and fasten my coat. Magically the bottle made me all pregnant-shaped, and Paige looks at me and asks, "When are you due?"
We're all laughing stupidly, and I'm embarrassed but Paige just says "no one will know us. We're obscure." I'm still nervous but I still kept the 2 liter in my belt, even waddling like a pregnant chick because I was in pain still.
"It feels like I'm giving birth from my intestines!"
"Oh lordy!"
Since it was a good hour before previews started, we thought let's go to Blockbuster and go rent that lolworthy movie Paranormal Activity. We get to the parking lot, and I remember the 2 liter bottle in my jacket and I panic.
"Oh wait what if someone from school is in there?"
"No one is, everyone is out partying."
And Paige is mostly right, as a lot of kids at our school were partying like idiots, so no one in the Blockbuster was recognizable. So I'm walking around with this 2 liter in my jacket, and civilians actually do think I'm pregnant. Ah joy.
We get Paranormal Activity, and we get to the cashier. She sees my stomach and tries not to look at it (I don't look 17) We get up there and she asks for some ID. I hand her my driver's license and she sees the age and her eyes big out. Paige is lolling on the inside and I'm trying hard to look composed and serious.
"Um, should I call your dad?" She asked, trying to be professional.
"He's not at home, so can I just take the movies?"
So we did, and the lady is so awkward as Paige pays for it like a husband. She might think we're lesbians LOL.
And we leave and head to the movie theaters. I take out the 2 liter and put it in a bag. We go to the bathroom in the theater and these two ghetto girls in there. I'm feeling nauseous and go to a stall. We all hear the two girls go "what about Tyrone and his kids?" and "He gone' get sum to eat with auntie?" and other grammar-depraved nonsense. I come out like 8 minutes later, groaning, and Paige switches to German.
"Fühlst du dich besser?"
"Nein. Ich habe gekotzt."
"Ach, es tut mir Leid. Sollen wir zurück nach Hause gehen?"
"Nein, es ist ok, die Cola hilft mir ein bisschen."
Mind you the two girls who were talking up a storm in shit grammar stop and stare at us as we converse in German. We head out of the bathroom, still carrying out the German conversation, even though the topic switched to eating at a restaurant. Paige went into Korean for a second and I caught her and we both laughed stupidly.
nah, I'm pretty much not pregnant.
don't worry.
gigglesnort
